Ok, ok, I know, we lied! In our defence, we were planning to have "go the Distance" as this chapter, but having reviewed it, we decided to save it, as it fits in much better later on. So we skipped it, which doesn't really matter cos both this song and Go the Distance were planned for the first week at Hogwarts anyway. So we apologise, and hope you enjoy this as much as we did! Tis one of our favourites!

The dungeons – two rows of seats either side of the stage with a central corridor. A door back stage centre is flung open, and Snape strides in. He grabs a mike, spins round and starts to sing:

At first I was afraid - I was petrified
Kept thinking how I could teach someone I can't abide
But I spent so many nights thinking how his dad did me wrong
I grew strong
I learned how to take him on
and just like back in Marauder years
When I walked the corridors, facing the students leers
I wish I'd exchanged my stupid job
Or forgotten the debt I owe
If I had known for just one second he'd come here to bother me

The Students enter, filing into the seats. Snape stalks over the where Harry and Ron are sitting and jabs Harry in the chest.

Go on now go!
Get on that broom
Just fly away now
'cause you're not welcome, Harry - o
You may be the one who defeated the dark lord
But I don't trust you
You're just like your father was

Snape begins to move about stage, randomly jabbing in the air to emphasize his words.

Oh no, not I
Now I teach potions
as long as I know how to intimidate I know I'll stay alive
I've got all my life to live
Now I've House points to play with
And I'll survive
I will survive...

Snape turns back to Harry.

It takes all the strength I have not strike you down
Keep trying hard to calm the madness of my grudging heart
And I spend oh so many nights thinking how he saved my life,
I used to cry
Now I hold my head up high

Dumbledore randomly appears in doorway, much like dear Mr Malloy. Snape moves over to him and starts poking him instead.

I will repay
this debt I owe
By saving mini-Potter from that thing on Quirrils head
So you've sent Potter's son and expected there to be glee
I'll save his life and then I can detest the memory!

Dumbledore leaves again, Snape moves across stage, seemingly mad.

Oh no, not I
Now I teach potions
I'm all grown up now but I still can't wash my hair
I've got all my life to learn
I might even get a perm
And I'll get it dyed
I'll get it dyed! (This now getting very random)

It took all the strength I had not to fall apart (so I'll get back on track)
I kept trying hard to mend the pieces of my shattered pride
and I spent oh so many nights
just feeling sorry for myself
I used to cry

Snape turns to Harry for the final time.

Now I hold my head up high
and you see me
somebody new
I'm not that chained up little person
Your dad and friends bullied
and so you felt like dropping in
You don't know what they did
now I'm thrusting all my hatred
At someone whose hating me!

Snape strikes dramatic pose centre stage, legs apart, fist in air etc. The Students gaze in shock and fear. Someone begins to back slowly out the door. Blackout.

So there you have it! An explanation for the random comment about Mr Malloy – well, last September, our school was graced with a new Headmaster to replace the lovely Mrs Brown who has moved on to a better place….Towyn High School. Anyway, he is a very odd person who looks like a wardrobe and stalks the corridors during lessons, randomly coming in to "check everything's alright", that "everybody's working hard", and to flirt with the teacher if she's female. A very odd man. He also has an obsession with PowerPoint presentations….just don't ask.

Anyways, come on people, REVIEW! Next week…Harry believes he can fly!