Controlling emotions

Chapter 5

Oh my people thank you so much for the reviews...

Ewunia: thanks so much for the review. I'll write some more. Just keep in touch with my fic Kaoru gal: hehe... was that too much for you. I'll update as soon as possible. And yeah, I've changed the POV's... when I looked at it again; I noticed how confusing it is... thanks... keep in touch Anime Asiangurl: woa1 why kiddin... I'll definitely write some more. Keep in touch! Anonymous: don't stay anonymous for long. Keep coming and read my fic! He he... I've changed the POV's though... I've got complaints on that already. The evil witch: thanks for reading my fic. I appreciate you comin again. Thanks Animeforever2004: thanks for the reviews. I've got no complaints for great reviews. And come again... read my third and fourth chapter... keep in touch!! Bokken of Doom: Well... I still don't get why you like 'he's just a wimp looking for attention.' I think who you were referring to is Kenshin. Oh well, it's your opinion anyway. Thanks for the confusion. He he... I'll definitely fix it up... thanks... keep reviewing... ne! Silver Goddess: thanks for the review... ne! Keep in touch... ja! Allin656: he he... I didn't know you would know Samurai deeper Kyo... but the answer is no... no way would I want to put Yukimura to be the bad guy... you kiddin'? I just thought about that name and the appropriate other name which is Kensuke... the name came from my Japanese friend. Oh well, keep in touch... thanks for the review. Ja!

My my... thanks so much for the review. I finally updated my fic... I thought you guys would hate Yukimura touching kaoru... ne??? I was just wondering who would be the bad guy but ... I don't want Enishi to be the bad guy.... I like him... (Don't scowl!!) Anyway... here it is... my fifth chappie!!!!

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*sniff* *sniff*

'Kaoru...' Misao pocked her head through the door of my room. I had been sleeping in my room for two days now. My head still aches and my breathing rough. It just seemed impossible how I can get flu. I didn't think I remembered to be out in the rain... except in that dream... or was it really a dream?

Misao placed a tray of breakfast next to me and beckoned me to eat it. I looked at her worried face and nodded. She made a small smile and said, 'I guess I'll be going kaoru. I need to finish my scholarship application. I think I will be able to succeed in this one.' She waved her goodbye and walked out.

All of the sudden, I felt lonely. The silence deafened my ears and the sun was shining too brightly. My bed didn't feel comfortable, so as slowly as possible; I stood up from my bed groaning at the fierce headache that struck my brain.

As I opened the door of the balcony, I felt the cool rainy breeze against my face. I could tell it was going to rain soon. The smell told me. I thought I should probably stay in bed again until I paused at an unfamiliar sight.

Right below my balcony, laid a bouquet of flowers. I wasn't so sure what type of flower it was, but the image is so beautiful. I quickly scrambled towards the front door to catch the flower before the rain starts to pour.

I smiled as I picked up the small and light bouquet of flowers and sniffed the refreshing aroma. So beautiful and white on a rainy day. It really lifted my hopes up. But curiosity spread into my mind. Who ever would send me these flowers?

I searched for any possible hints, but nothing seemed to be attached. The flowers, wrapped in soft papery cloth, tied with beautiful long twirl silver ribbons; I could only find the word 'Kaoru...'

* * *

Kaoru's POV

Sighing, I rested my head against the table. I was back at school now, busy with catching up with what I had left behind. So much work to do and no one seemed to care. It just seemed so obvious. Who would want to be friends with someone who doesn't want friends. Now I considered Megumi was my friend three years ago... but not until she developed in figure and raced out competing with other immature people like herself. For me... I just don't see the point in it.

The class bell rang, signaling the end of the day. I felt so tired. I have three essays to do by tomorrow and I need time to actually do them. I've finished one, yet there was one essay on a new chapter. Yet, I couldn't be bothered to ask for notes. Nobody seemed to even notice my obvious stress because their minds were still surrounding that guy with the flaming red hair.

Gathering my last bits and pieces, I took my time to pack my stuff. Everybody seemed to walk out of the room already. Barely noticing that someone was still in there, I looked out the window gloomily... thinking about my dream... or so it seemed...

'What's with that sullen face?'

I turned around to find a smirking face. This time, I didn't talk back, but looked at him with heavy eyes.

'It's probably cuz' you're here...' I mumbled. He didn't budge. Instead, he crept behind my back and started tickling me. Shocked, I tried running away from him. But his face said otherwise, and raced to tickle me. I yelled...

'Stop...'

He stopped abruptly and smiled at me.

'Kenshin, I hate you...' I mumbled at him before turning around to get my bag... I didn't mean what I said. I was just being a bit of a joke. But he didn't spoke anything and I thought he took it seriously. So I immediately looked at him, 'I didn't mean that...'

'I know...' kenshin said a couple of seconds later. 'It's just that... this was the first time you have ever say anything to me with my name.'

Standing still, I thought to myself. True... I never said his first name before. And when I thought it was odd to say his name, I thought it sounded pretty nice coming from my tongue.

'Is that really your name?' I asked, wanting to sound funny but he didn't laugh. He just looked at me with this weird expression that I have never seen before and glanced out the window.

It took a couple of minutes before he turned to me, his eyes, deep and drown able, amber hue glinting in his eyes, and walked out of the classroom in silence...

What was THAT all about???

Oh well, I took my folio and scrambled out of the classroom. I cannot believe it will be raining soon. And I forgot my umbrella how stupid!!!

* * *

I walked down the road towards my house again. I could feel something is not right. I turned at the corner of my house and I stopped walking. I remembered the 'dream' that just felt so real. He was here...

In my dreams...

He was here...

Sudden tears forced its way out of me and I couldn't help but let it all out. I don't want to, my head screamed; I have done my best to escape from him... I never want to see him again. Sobbing quietly, I thanked god nobody was around. The street is quite and peaceful. My sobs broke the fragility of the silence that strengthened the atmosphere. I felt scared... scared and lonely.

With the best of my strength, I lifted myself up and forced my way into my apartment. I don't ever want to see the place where he ripped my school clothes and licked my ears with his grotesque tongue. I don't ever want to see him look at me that way... the way he sees a prey. And I never... ever... absolutely ever want his lips against mine...

As I walked my way in my room I saw Misao standing in a standing position. Her dress was of a costumed dress, beautiful blue to match her beautiful eyes. Yet her face showed a different emotion. She looked at me sadly and somehow nervous and anxious.

'Misao...' I began, but was cut off by her.

'-wait kaoru... before you say anything... I just want you to know... that you are the greatest friend that anyone could ever have...'

My heart stops beating. I suddenly felt muted. Something bad is about to happen. She looked at me that way... it made me felt uneasy.

'What is it...? Misao?' I stood still. The door still left ajar.

'Kaoru... I'm afraid... that...' she stuttered and she knew I felt horrible too. However she had to say it. It's for both goods. 'Kaoru... I have to move out.'

My heart dropped and eyes suddenly and painfully clouded. But I tried to hide that expression. I didn't want Misao to see me break again.

'Well... I got a scholarship to get into Harvard...' Misao explained, she tried to look happy but failing. I gasped the word 'Harvard.' 'And, it's such a great opportunity to go into a school like that. And I've spent my free time thinking whether this would be great for both of us.'

Misao looked down at her tiny pointy feet and her hands played with the hem of her beautiful blue dress. My mind was blank. I couldn't say anything. NO! I don't want to say anything... just because she said she was going to move out to another planet and leaving me lonely and afraid would not break me. I have felt much deeper sorrow than that... and it's for the best of her. I've put her into so much pain she should deserve to be rid of it. All of my escape from reality does not include her...

'Misao...' I began, holding the tears and the gasp of fear that started to race through my veins. '... You know I'm going to miss you...'

Misao looked at me bewildered. Even though her sadness still hadn't left her eyes yet she was still grinning and smiling this warm smile that I had never seen before. THIS is her happiness. And I want her to be happy... yes... I want her to be happy...

Misao looked up and ran towards me, clinging onto my waist and sobbing like a crying baby. This reminded me of the old times when we were small and I was the one to be holding her and calming her tears. It was usually Misao that kept crying over things and I was the one to put her to peace. She would always greet me and smile in this radiance that I know I will be losing in just a few seconds.

'When will you be leaving?' I asked my voice cracking. Her sobs still in the air, I couldn't feel sorrier for the girl. I waited until her sobs died down before she looked up at me and smiled, 'tomorrow the latest.'

I froze.

'Kaoru... I'm so sorry...' Misao was about to cry again when I held my hand up and shushed her, forcing a smile that I know I have deep down in my heart. I just couldn't pull it out. This isn't the right time. 'I can't believe you are way ahead of me,' I just replied. Her face confused at first but she grinned, though tears were still in her eyes. She was happy, and I felt glad she didn't see through this brick wall that I am building.

'Well, I can't believe I made it to Harvard... I don't even remember joining to Harvard...' Misao replied jokingly. She is a very smart person. Even I couldn't beat her.

'Oh yeah, I'm pretty sure you seduced the moderator...' I just smirked back. Misao looked at me with wide eyes and replied back. I hearted a laugh, feeling the one thing that I have missed these days. I felt relieved; she had given my hopes up.

So we talked and joke and laugh all through the night. Until the night, the night where we have to separate into our own worlds. Relieved yet sad in some way, I would never forget her.

* * *

As I walked out of the school gates, I noticed the sky was darker than before. I couldn't help but get the feeling that it will rain soon. Having thought that, I started running. I don't have anybody to help me if I'm sick. I choked those words into my head and I could feel my heart squeezed at the thought. Misao is not here. A near tear nearly drop from my eyes, but I forced it way in again.

I will not get broken again. I will not have that memory of...

I stood rigid at my place. I just turned the corner to my nearly there apartment. But what I see before me is what made my eyes wide, my feet suddenly stoned and my heart beats the rate no other animal could beat. My throat felt dry and all of the sudden tears ran down my cheeks. I didn't wipe them away, but stood rigid at the sight before me.

He ran his hands down his slivery locks; he stood in a very sexy silhouette; one of his hands inside his baggy pockets. Wearing baggy dark green jeans and white long sleeves shirt, vibrating his silver locks as he pushed the velvety looking hair out of the way, I felt a pang of anxiety, sadness, frightening, immobile, and all those words I wish to describe. He was to die for.

When he pushed his locks covering his face, his blue electric eyes bore deep into mine. Yes, I cannot move. I cannot and somehow... don't want to... it's like as if he was hypnotizing me.

He walked towards me slowly and I couldn't run. My fingers were wet and tears still coming down my cheeks. This couldn't be happening, I must be dreaming again.

'Why...' he started, stopping in front of me, towering his hot body above mine. He was breathing hard, and I could feel his blue eyes roaming over my face, a satisfied look across his face. Why? Why is he contented?

'I don't need those tears of joy...I know you couldn't wait to see me again... huh?'

TEARS OF JOY??? My head screamed. I tried opening my mouth but nothing came out. TEARS OF JOY MY FUCKING ASS!!!

He started to touch my cheeks, and I could've have vomited. Inching closer my body was pressed against his. I wanted to move! Damn it! I couldn't!!!

Knowing what I was up to, 'you're not running away from me anymore... I have you now...' I could feel his wicked grin close to my lips, his breathing rough and I know he will have me this time. Tears rolled down my cheeks more than I want to.

It's over... his hands trailed over the top of my chest and I wanted to gasp and scream and shout and kick... but I felt nothing... I just stood immobile.

Shutting my eyes, I don't want to see anything else, but just then, just as he was about to kiss me, I felt him push me away forcefully, his dirty hands left my waist and chest. Why has he stopped?

Curious, I opened my eyes and gasp at the sight before me. The red headed figure stood in front of me. Beauty that I know I could not grasp. His eyes overshadowed by his deep red locks. I couldn't see his expression. His mouth shut firmly and in his hands, he held a wooden plank.

'... Kenshin...' I gasped his name, bewildered that he just smashed Yukimura to the ground. His hands pressed over his head, muttering long filthy curses. Why did he...

Kenshin looked up at me and I gasp to see his piercing amber gaze, as he stood lightly, eyes still on mine. I stepped back... wait... I can move!

Before I could even look up, I could already see Yukimura smashed here and there, completely helpless, although his figure is bigger than Kenshin's. When Kenshin finished with his fight, he grasped the front of Yukimura's shirt easily until his face came upon his and muttered some things that I couldn't hear. He let go of Yukimura's shirt and threw the wooden plank at him.

I just stood there, immobile at the scene that he made. I grasped for air, clutching hard at my bag, shivering, shaking.

'Let's go' Kenshin stood before me, and then I could see his face. I was shocked to see his eyes. His eyes not amber... but violet... the hue gave a warm atmosphere. This was the first time I have seen his gaze change. His arm eyes suddenly eased my shakes and I nodded slowly.

As if my life flashed before my eyes, I could see, just in that one second, an evil grin behind Kenshin's figure. Yukimura, held the wooden plank high, ready to plunge Kenshin to the ground. I wanted to scream!!! He could hurt Kenshin.

Yukimura's eyes went wide, and he dropped his plank to the ground, and fell hard. I froze. Kenshin had sense his appearance and punched him in the stomach. He had felt it. My knees suddenly felt weak and my eyes started to blur.

It started to rain...

And my world went blank...

HO HO HO!!! I finally updated it. Phew! I decided to make this chapter long. I have plot already so thanks for that. Well... a bit of change... a little action...

Did you like it??? Please review... please please please pretty please with a cherry and chocolate fudge on top!!!