Well hello all! How are we all? Sorry its so late, we had the Whitford Summer fair on Saturday, which was exhausting, and then we went on a four mile walk on Sunday, half of which was up hill! But here we are! And neither of us are in school tomorrow, cos Emma's exams are all over as of today and there's a gas leak, so Beths not in either.

Dedicated to Tash – at long last, as promised, right from the very start of this idea! Enjoy!

To the tune of YMCA

Lights up stage left, on Gryfinndor common room. Neville is lying on the floor, surrounded by the Random Choir.

Random Choir: Neville, there's no need to feel down.
I said, Neville, pick yourself off the ground.
I said, Neville, 'cause you've been body bound
There's no need to be unhappy.

Neville, there's a place they must go.
I said, young man, where they'll face a great foe
You can't go there, but you don't need to go
'Cause you win us the house cup

Lights down stage left and up stage right, on Harry, Hermione and Ron walking along a corridor.

Random Choir: Its time to go through the trapdoor.
Its time to go through the trapdoor.
You'll find everything to test each of your strengths
You can face up worst fears

The Trio walk across stage, where lights have come up stage left again. They are in a chamber, which is empty apart from a stuffed three headed dog. (Hey, we're suffering from budget cuts here!)

Its time to go through the trapdoor.

Its time to go through the trapdoor.
You can play to fluffy, make him forget you are there

You can get caught in a devils snare

Half the Random Choir leave the stage. Stage starts to go up as the Trio climb through the floor, revealing a lower chamber. Harry and Ron fall onto the Devils Snare.

Hermione: Ronald, there's no need to feel scared
I said, Ronald, Harry's not got come prepared
I said, Ronald, you and Harry've been snared
Ron: Are you a witch or not?

Hermione lights fire and Harry and Ron fall to ground. Harry turns to leave Ron and Hermione.

Hermione and Ron: No man does it all by himself.
I said, Harry, put your pride on the shelf,
Let us help you, catch the keys to the door.
I'm sure we can help you some more

Half of Random Choir: Its time to go through the trapdoor.
Its time to go through the trapdoor.
They have everything from plants to chess sets
You can hang out with Voldemort

Its time to go through the trapdoor.
Its time to go through the trapdoor.
We can find the right key, we can beat the chess set
We can beat Voldemort, I bet ...

One half of Random Choir leave. Other Half Random Choir come on dressed as chess pieces. One hits Ron, who falls to the ground.

Harry: 'Mione, we've got to leave Ron
I said, 'Mione, we have got to move on.
I say, 'Mione, he won't know we're gone
And I can't do this on my own

Random choir leave. They cross the stage again, and the lights come up on a table full of potions bottles.

Hermione: We've come so far, and we're very near

I say Harry, its all become clear,
I say, Harry, I know the way out of here

You drink that and your on your way

It's time to go face Voldemort
It's time to go face Voldemort

You must drink this potion, I don't think its poison!

But there's only one way to find out….

Random choir re enter, minus chess set costumes.

Random Choir: But when Harry, got through the last door

He saw someone, had got there before

It weren't Snape, or even Voldemort