Controlling emotions
Chapter 7
My secret
Ya knoe wat? Thanks sooo much, I really appreciate those reviews. Hey, at least it's more than 4-5 words!!!! Lolz. Keep them coming!!!!!
legolasEstelstar: hey thanks for the review! Keep them coming. I know what you mean with the lemon thing. That's what I'm planning anyways, the part with the romantic bit. I'm not just gonna go straight to pure sex. I appreciate your review. Keep them coming! And hey who said being new means I wont listen to you. YOU are very much appreciated. Haha
Reignashii: of course I remember you. Thank you so much for the review. You are very welcome to read . Here's the next chapter. Enjoy!
j9482002: hey! Ha ha... I've updated! Thanks for your support!
Kao-gurl: thank you, thank you! You'll find out about Tomoe sooner and why she is even in the story. All I can say though is 'don't worry.' Keep reviewing!!!!!
kirie-kun: hey thanks a whole lot. If you want the lemon just say so and ill see if I can fit it in the story. Muahahaa too!!!! Cheers! Keep reviewing please!
This is the story when Kaoru tells her actual story and hopefully this will clear all the weird stuff that's been happening to her. Oh, Kaoru's not raped yet, just touched and stuff. Harassment see! About Tomoe, just so you know, she is still alive. The story about her will come soon, I am serious about the lemon, but you guys have to tell me and support whatever you think is best for this story. So keep reviewing... o... I love, I love, I love. Ha ha ha...
From last chapter:
Before I knew it, I seized her arm and pulled her into my embrace. I held her in my arms while she cried and cried. Tears soaked my shirt but I didn't care. For a moment I thought I shouldn't have force my guard to protect her. At that moment I was still unsure. Me? Protecting a girl? Not just a girl! It was kaoru. The girl that despises him; the girl that didn't even notice me that much; the girl that was so convince she was strong; the girl that is now feeling so weak and helpless braced in his arms, drenched with pain.
For that moment in time, I feel wanted again. Since Tomoe, I can feel the need again. The need to protect...
Kenshin's POV
Here she is now, sitting on my couch holding a cup of coffee with her both hands and her body scrunched together as if cold. Cute as she is, I offered her some blankets which she threw on top of her body. I was so relieved when she decided to stay with me. If she goes out now, that son of an asshole would probably be waiting on her doorstep. No way would that happen!
'Are you still cold? I can get you some more blanket if you want,' I offered but she shook her head slightly and looked a bit shy. She would face me in the eyes. 'No, thank you,' she replied weakly.
Atop the awkward silence, I have just sat in front of her, sipping my own coffee and all the while stared at her. She was uncomfortable, so I decided to make a move.
'So, how do you know this guy?'
Kaoru was still. At that slightest moment I can feel her searing pain. 'Listen, if you don't want to talk about it its fine by me.' Kaoru shook her head and looked at me. There was something different in her eyes. She looked at me with hope, the one word that I am lacking of, the one word which shoots my veins into my brains and mixed them to make goo.
'He was my ex,' Kaoru started with a whisper. Her ex? That (%!$&) (%#$&#&#(&%&!$& man?
'He was so nice to me. Just like when you picture a perfect boyfriend. A perfect life, it was all too perfect.' She made it sound so $%#!&#& perfect. As if HE was that perfect.
'And, oh my god, I can't believe I was that stupid!!!' Yep, I kind of have to agree with that. 'All that he wants was the money.' ---- Okay... that didn't sound so good. She sighed and I let her take her time to continue with the story.
'You know I loved him.' Kaoru looked up at me in a very --- peculiar --- way. 'it was all too perfect. Perfect. HE was prefect. And I trusted him. Until that day my father died. You see, my mom passed away when I was 6, I really miss her. When my mother died, its like, my life came apart and my heart just can't take it anymore.' She sobbed slightly; I thought I should stop her but she continued on. 'I didn't believe in love. But that wasn't until Yuki--- came to me. Those were the sweetest days of my life.'
You know what? I actually felt a pang of jealousy for this guy. To have someone who made a difference to a person who loved him and trusted him. A great disgust washed over me. How could he do such a thing to that person? In my mind I was speechless. Weird huh? There was too much to say about this guy that my mind felt numb. My mind = Kaoru (sigh......) the guy (#%(&%!!(!#$!&#!!%$#! X 100000)
Kaoru laughed a little, but her face was in pain all over again. The color of her face still painted pale. 'You know, I even thought about marrying him. I was so happy. My father was happy. And he was happy too. I would even think my mother would be happy. And yet, how can I be so stupid.'
I gazed at her pretty but worn out face. There was a deep urge for me to hug her and let me protect her, in my arms. Too fragile. Yes, that was it. She seems strong, yet mysterious enough she looked so feeble. I don't get why, but I feel so concerned.
'When my father died, he became quite weird and all. One time he can be so sweet and romantic and one time he can be so aggressive and compulsively so irrational. And you know why? He wanted my fortunes. That was the only reason he wants to be with Me.' a single tear ran down her cheeks. 'That was the only reason he was even going out with me. Worst, --- the reason he wanted to marry me. My father's fortune will only be given to me when I am to marry, or when I am 18.' Kaoru kept looking into my eyes with each and single word she said, as if to test me. 'He wants to marry me before I turn 18, so instead he gets all.'
I returned her stare. I know why she is looking at me. She doesn't trust men. Each words she said to me, she wants to see my reaction if the money really mattered.
'Kaoru, I want to protect you even before I knew the story. You don't trust men and I don't see why you should after telling me that story.' She was still looking at me but her face softened. 'I don't need you to gain my trust. For all I know, you should NOT trust me. But I ask of you, an offer. I wish to protect you from anything until you turn 18. I promise I will. And then I can be out of your life. If you want, forever. Just--- let me guard you.'
Kaoru kept staring and I urged myself to look at her in the eyes. 'Kenshin, why do you care so much?'
I sighed. 'Because I know what you are feeling. I have your issue too. The same kind, just opposite sex.'
Kaoru closed her eyes and I waited until she decided. 'Okay' she nodded. I smiled and stared again at her face. 'But what can you do?'
Kaoru's POV
I didn't know what to say. I knew I've put myself in between the tangles of my life. He looked at me so passionately. I just wanted to kiss him right then and there. My feelings were controlled though. He wanted to help me. But how?
'If you want to,' Kenshin said quite shyly, 'you can stay at my apartment until you turn 18.' I turned bright red. Sleep with a GUY? That didn't sound right. But it does make sense. I am all alone since Misao left and nobody that I know who would even want me. So I guess the safest place is to be with him.
'It can be an issue,' I exclaimed. And he nodded but said, 'it just seems the only way. When is your birthday anyway?'
'29th of December,' I answered. 'So we have about like... 4 months.'
Kenshin nodded and smiled at her. 'Four months seems like a short way.' I shook my head, 'it may seem like that.'
Kenshin stood up and went to his answering machine and clicked. 'You have 18 messages.' He groaned and listened. Weird enough, most of them were girls, and one of them I realized was Megumi. My, my, my...
When the message machine stopped he sighed and turned to look at me. 'Sorry about that. I forgot to listen to it.' 'Oh no, don't worry about that,' somehow I felt jealousy spread over me. This guy has 18, 18 messages on his answering machine. That is not even a quarter of mine. Hey, I see what he means. I laughed in my heart. He was always chased by the girls at school. It intimidates me but I guess it was not fun, being the cute and chunk of a hot hunk he is.
'I usually get 30 on my first day in school. Half of them are from the same person.' He laughed lightly, and I laughed heartily with him. He smiled at me; I'm guessing he was happy to see me smile again. I just blushed and I mean really blushed.
'So, just out of curiosity --- um --- what did they do?' I asked quite shyly. He looked at me for an instant wondering what question am I asking but he understood and nodded.
'Well, imagine thousands of guys all over you, everywhere, every time, every second of your life. As though they cant get enough of you. Well, you would wonder when you can actually find a life. And, like you... I found it. My life. My lost life. A life that was stranded deep in your heart.' I nodded, startled at how similar our situation is.
'Her name was Tomoe.' The second he said that sentence my heart made a giant leap and the chilled my body. There goes another jealousy. 'She was my life, the greatest life I've ever had.'
He chuckled vaguely. 'You know, before I've always thought of women as... sluts; bitches and all those crappie names they call each other with. But she was different.' I gulped; I sensed an awkward atmosphere surrounding us. 'And yet, I found out, she --- was just like the rest.'
'It's funny how we both have the same experience,' he exclaimed.
'What did she do to you?' I asked. He looked at me firmly and spoke in a low tone but I could feel the shiver up my spine with his cold tone, 'she slept with a man who I thought was my best friend.'
Kenshin's POV
Its funny how people managed to be so selfish and self esteemed. There is no pride in them, every single inch of their heart confounding black. I always believed there is that person, the one person that would soon change you and your life, away from the coldness of your surroundings. The question is, when?
Kaoru was quiet when I finished my story with a blood wrinkled tone. She looked a bit scared and I regretted what I said. I was quite fond of her, to tell you the truth. She amazes me with her story of her life, and how much we share the same opportunity to change our course of life. She has astounding beauty; there shouldn't be anyone to disturb her feelings. One way or another, I chose to be in her life. I may have done the wrong thing, but to see her face when I told her I would WANT to help her made my heart weak.
Ha ha... since when do I get all mushy-gushy and everything? Maybe I've been reading and listening to so much of them. You know from whom. Maybe I should ugly-fy myself. That way, they won't disturb me anymore. The question is, how? I've tried to make myself unattractive, but no matter how unattractive I made myself look, they keep coming more and more. One way they found me cute, one way they found me amazingly hot, and one way they find me handsome and fully mysterious.
Kaoru stood up and ask for the bathroom, I pointed to her left, indicating a beige door. She looked at me before going into the bathroom. She looked at me with hope. I smiled and she smiled in relieve.
As I glanced up to see the clock, I found out I only had 4 hours of sleep before school starts. Sighing in frustration I closed my eyes and drifted to sleep...
Kaoru's POV
I left the bathroom with relieve and comfy ness. And I glanced to see Kenshin already asleep on the couch. I sighed and smiled. He looked so cute like that and so tired too. And it was my entire fault.
I stood in front of him, memorizing his features. There is too much to just describe in words but his face showed a complexity of anguish, guilt, pain, dream, and love. I felt so honored to have him care for me so much. I have to thank him somehow.
With red blush on my cheeks and a little nervousness I bent over to him and planted a single kiss on his forehead. Kenshin stirred but didn't wake. I smiled in relieved and gathered myself to sleep on the couch on his other side, and closed my eyes to bring myself for a safe and relieving sleep...
Phew!!!!! I finished my chappie 7! You know, it took me 3 days to write 2000 words and funny enough took me years to finish off my 4000 word essay. I only have a few more days until my holidays are finished and man!!!!! I have so much work to do. You know how it feels right. I'm quite fixated with this story that I'd rather write this story than do my homework. Tell me it's wrong!
Anyway!!!! I hope this clears your confusion to the story. Ha ha ha... please review. Press the stupid button again and please just write 3-4 words whatever you want. And if I have enough reviews I'll get chapter 8 out soon!!!!!! WRITE AS MANY AS YOU WANT!!!!! Cheers guys!