Controlling emotions

FreyA-wings

Chapter 8: I feel safe... I think

I would like to send a big thanks to those people who have reviewed! And those who haven't... you don't want me to bring battousai here to threaten to kill you! You know how dangerous he can be!!!!! It's just that reviews make me work harder and fill me with hope.... And spirit... and love... oh whatever, please just press the damn button after you read. It is MOST appreciated!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

kirie-kun : thanks so muchieee. I'll bring it. And quite soon too. Here's your chapter. And hey I'll see when I can squeeze in THE lemon. Haha to you too!!!!

Kao-gurl : I love kenshin so much too. I dunno if I can actually continue this when school comes. Being an IB student is hard. It's just that, stories like these flows from my head like... a nice cup of coffee. jk jk... and school projects, essays and all those crap feels like a third degree kind of thing... n'ways, I'll try not to let school get in the way... wait... this story get in the way. Phew. THANKS SO MUCH!!!!!

legolasEstelstar : well, you know what, some people just reads and don't review. Or sometimes they pick ones with the largest amount of reviews... I mean (blushes too) sometimes I do that too! Haha... Lolz. 'Shoots battousai glares'---- well, about the lemon, I've got some story behind that and you'll see soon. So keep reading and reviewing!!!!!! Alert maaann!!!! Ha ha ha

j9482002 : I'll beg you to keep reviewing. Thanks for dropping in... keep dropping in!!!!! LOLZ

Reignashii : wow, you're so into lemon... don't worry bout that, there's a reason for me to rate this story an R. and anyways, I've got an evil plan behind all this. The story actually has a plot... ha ha ha... lolz!!!!! Please keep reviewing!!!!

Kaoru gal: hey thanks for the review! Please keep them coming! Thanks again!!!!

Vi3t BaBiI: hey keep reviewing two thumbs up! Thanks for the review! I totally appreciate it!

Kawaii96: oh my thanks too. Keep reading. Keep reviewing!!!!!

From last chapter:

I stood in front of him, memorizing his features. There is too much to just describe in words but his face showed a complexity of anguish, guilt, pain, dream, and love. I felt so honored to have him care for me so much. I have to thank him somehow.

With red blush on my cheeks and a little nervousness I bent over to him and planted a single kiss on his forehead. Kenshin stirred but didn't wake. I smiled in relieved and gathered myself to sleep on the couch on his other side, and closed my eyes to bring myself for a safe and relieving sleep...

Kaoru's POV

As I set foot into the classroom it feels weird. Nobody knew what happened to me the other night. Kenshin left early in order to get some work done before school starts, as it says so on the note pad that he left me with breakfast of toast and egg on the kitchen counter. He was being so nice to me and sometimes it made me feel guilty. Maybe I shouldn't have taken his offer. It was doing too much grief for him. Even though I judged it too early, but I will depend on this person.

I saw Kenshin sitting at the back of the class, maybe there in order to watch any movement. I didn't know if I should find this funny or not, but maybe his actions are quite extremely spy act. But I smiled at him without any body knowing. I took my place at the front seat before the girls have started to giggle for Kenshin. I then thought how much I knew how painful it is to acknowledge them personally without getting any one's heart broken. How many times must he go through with this?

Fortunately, the teacher came on time and we took our seats to begin our lesson.

Kenshin's POV

There is a reason why we are left outside of the classroom with buckets full of water in our hands. Yep, we slept during class, me and Kaoru that is. I didn't really know how to put this but I am actually glad that kaoru is beside me. Then I could watch her more peacefully. I had to pretend to sleep in order to go outside with Kaoru. She slept 5 minutes after the first lesson started. She looked so adorable.

As we stood with our backs to our wall I began to hum. It was a simple song that Tomoe... wait... Tomoe...

"Kenshin?" Kaoru asked me, "kenshin what's wrong?"

I looked up at her to find her face featured confused. I forced a small smile. "Nothing," I exclaimed. But then I turned my head away. Why? How? Tomoe? I must be overreacting, or haven't slept in a long time.

Speaking of not sleeping...

"Hey kaoru... do you mind detention?" I asked Kaoru as she grimaced at how heavy the bucket of water is. "You mean when they decide to break your arms? Hell no!"

I laughed and she blushed, but I continued, "Well, why don't we just drop this freaking detention and run for it?"

She looked at me in horror and OH MAN how much I missed that horror face of hers. "You mean LEAVING our detention?" she whispered quite strongly and frustratingly, "then you'll get double detention!" she wanted to scream but had to silent her voice.

"Nah!" I shook my head a little, "did you know how long we have slept last night? 4 hours! And now that I am SO sleepy, I'd rather just go home... and sleep." I dropped my bucket on the floor and straightened my clothes.

"You DARE!" she said quite frighteningly. I wanted to laugh out loud but that'll just throw out the situation. I glanced at her and smiled. "Come on kaoru, I know you want to..."

She looked at me pessimistically. She knew I was right and yet she didn't want to lose. "YOU can get into double detention! Or even suspension!" she nearly screamed.

"Hey, suspension is not a bad idea, and then I can sleep whenever I want!"

Kaoru looked at me in disbelieve, and then turned her head to ignore me. I sighed and said, "Kaoru, when was the last time you have done something that would surprise even your self?' She didn't answer.

I sighed again and turned my back to her. After five small slow steps I felt a tap in my shoulder and I turned around to see Kaoru, blushing a beautiful shade of pink. Man, this girl is cute!

"I know a place where we can rest without people knowing," she said to me. I raised an eyebrow. Hey, she finally came to her senses!

Kenshin's POV

Well, the first time I saw this place I didn't really catch the view but of Kaoru alone resting her head against a tree. But now that I have seen more than kaoru, I felt amazement washed over me. This was the place where Kaoru cried over a single paper.

Kaoru skipped to the roots of the tree and with a sigh, slumped herself on the log. She spread her arms wide and I didn't know if it was a coincidence or not, a silent but strong gush of wind swept its way for kaoru. I can feel the energy that the wind blew and how it transformed the beautiful scene... to an indescribable feeling.

As Kaoru closed her eyes, I closed in on her and knelt by her side, resting my own head against the tree but never left my eyes away from her.

When she opened her eyes she was surprised to see me staring her way. "Hey!" she said and stood up. Kaoru rested her chin on her knees and folded her arms around her legs.

"Why did you cry?"

Kaoru looked up at me confusingly. "What do you mean?" before I knew it I said those words. Damn mouth! "Well, I kinda followed you here." Kaoru looked at me, again, more confusingly.

"Why were you following me?"

"I was interested in you."

"Interested? In me? Whatever for?" She frowned

"Hm, let's see... you are either no a relationship type of person, or that you are NOT interested in me."

She laughed.

"See! That's why I was interested in you! You were not them."

"Well, that's why they called me THEE geek, THEE reject. That's why I'm different"

"Hey! Being a reject isn't all that bad. I'm telling you, you're different!"

She didn't say anything but I knew she was blushing. I was still curious though. I wanted to know more.

"Did any guy ask you out?"

YES! I yelled in my head, she blushed. But she nodded

"How many guys have you dated?"

She shook her head.

"None? How many guys asked you out?"

She didn't answer.

"Why aren't you answering?" I poked her at her side and she reacted. I smiled to myself and she looked at me in horror. "Kenshin! NO! Don't even---"

Before she knew it she giggled and screamed and yelled and laughed as I tickled her over and over again. She was wriggling like a worm and somehow, unintended, we rolled to the side of the sakura tree.

I stopped my actions and looked below me to see a flushed Kaoru, smiling her beautiful most sweet smile. And then, there was that spark. Everything seemed to stand still. We were inches away and I could feel the beat of her heart against my chest. There was stillness in the air. But a gush of soft wind blew her hair against my arms. It tickled but instead made me burn. Her blue eyes shocked my pulse and gravity seemed to be pulling me down. Her blue eyes captured mine and I gave in to the sweet devour of her sweet smell. Her raven hair blew passed her face and made me hotter. I nearly drowned. My heart beat faster and faster. My head felt heavy and her delicious lips just inches apart from mine. Inches, more than just enough to press my lips against hers------

"Ten."

"What?" I came back to reality. "Ten," she whispered again, "that was how many guys asked me out on my first week of school."

Kaoru's POV

I didn't want to believe it. But I may, I may, just may have fallen. I didn't want to get into that mess again and now I had to fix the situation. I had to say something before it was too late. He looked so adorable though, I groaned in my mind. He was so hot. His breath touched my lips and how I can feel it swollen. He didn't even touch my lips yet. It was so intense. His eyes, his lips, his red flaming hair across my cheeks, one arm around my waist, his chest and his heart beat----- shut up Kaoru! Silent down before you hurt yourself.

"Ten?" he breathed again. How much I regretted it when we broke apart the... sensual atmosphere and flesh burning sensation. "Yes, ten. I declined all of them. And guess who was jealous?" he stood up and took a seat next to the lump of the tree and rested his head against the bark of the tree. I just sat slowly up and crossed my legs.

"Megumi," Kenshin nodded.

"Yeah, and have you heard about the rumor?"

Kenshin shook his head and frowned.

"She said---- I wasn't interested in men."

There was a huge silence that filled the atmosphere. He looked at me dubiously and laughed out loud.

"What's so funny? I mean..." I giggled.

"I'm sorry, you just----..." he stopped short and looked at me doubtfully. "I just don't see you with a woman. I mean, you're not gay right?---------------- right?"

"Do you see me as being gay? I mean, I loved a man for God's sakes; I even had the guts to discuss marriage-----..." I spoke too fast and before I knew it, there it was again. The same sensation when someone would stab me behind my back.

Kenshin didn't respond. He just looked at me but I ignored his stare. I will not let myself look so miserably unhappy and scared. My god, I actually feel like my great grandmother who died a month after her husband divorced her. Doesn't that sound so ironic? I didn't want to look weak, and somehow I knew that Kenshin felt me. My pain... and sufferings. It actually felt quite good.

"You know," I tried to fill the silence, "I was thinking about what you said about protecting me, and I think it would be awkward if we were seen together like this. I mean, there would be people having rumors of us and it could get worse if somebody knew we were actually living together." I took a deep breath and exhaled loudly. "It... can be an issue."

Kenshin smiled at me and responded, "So, what do you have in mind?"

I took breathes slowly and I was fidgeting here and there. "I don't know."

"So, you're saying, we should do something, and that something means something to not put US in issue. And that means, we should find a way that won't make them suspicious... hm..." Kenshin was thinking and only one solution was in his mind. "I think I know what that something might be..."

I looked at him thoroughly, "really?" Kenshin laughed and clapped his hands, "YES THAT"S IT!"

I was in a shock when he stood up all of the sudden. "What do you have in mind?" Kenshin looked at me and knelt in front of me. My eyes poured and mixed together with his. Oh, such beautiful eyes. "We should pretend we are going out."

I silenced myself for a few minutes. Am I hearing this correctly? Was he saying we should be together? Hey, that actually made sense. Then we won't have to pretend that ... hey!!!!!! He is not only gorgeous, but utterly a genius. "You are a genius!" I clamped my hands to my mouth my eyes wide. "But, that would be even weirder!"

Kenshin stared at me disbelievingly, "what are you talking about?"

"Well, first of all if you haven't noticed it yet, you are a hottie in the school! Every single girl in that school wants to be your date!" I exclaimed.

"So?"

"So, it will be weird if a hottie decides to go out with a geek!"

Kenshin again started at me disbelievingly, "what is the matter with you? One solution, many problems solved. We don't have to pretend that a dangerous guy is after you and being a good boyfriend I can protect you. Also, also, the rumor about you being lesbian is out of the way! Plus, plus, I don't have to worry about giggling girls trying to get to me! IT ALL MAKES PERFECT SENSE!"

I didn't answer him for a minute and it did take a while for me to take everything in. "And I want to help you. It will make my job easier if we do that."

I inhaled again and again trying to calm myself. Yes, maybe he was right. Maybe this is the perfect way to get all problems solved. But I am so afraid of this one fact, I may fall in love with him. There is always a way for the love blind thing to come my way and I have already been blinded once, I didn't want another.

I sighed, "Yes, okay, let's do it. Just, don't take it too seriously."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, don't get too close."

He laughed, "You think I'll do something to you?"

No! The other way! "Yes, and I would like you to know, that I am a hard to get person."

"And I am known as super indulgence seducement hottie guy. You just have to be careful!"

And that's when things started to get giggly again. How wonderful it is to have another boyfriend, who, by the way, probably has no feelings for me. I probably should just let low, be a good actress and pretend that what I feel about him is nothing more than a friend. A hot friend if I might add. I sighed and walked to "our" apartment. This may be a good idea or even a bad idea. I really didn't know, but you never know unless you find out.

Yo yo yo!!!!! Tomorrow I am finally in school! How wonderful is that? I was being sarcastic by the way. Lolz! Isn't this a pretty long chappie? Haha, I can't really wait for the "next" chapter. And things will start to heat up for those yelling LEMON!!!!!!!! But that doesn't mean that the next chapter WILL be a lemon.

But what will really make me happy are your thoughts about this story. Please pretty please with a cherry on top and chocolate fudge press the damn blue button and type!!!!! Won't take you seconds anyway!

Also for those people who added me as your author watch list thank you so much. I just want you to write some reviews so I can get to talk to you. Please please!!!!!! And for you guys who put me down as your favorite author I am sooooo grateful. I am at your mercy!!! Lolz. Jk jk jk... see ya in the next chapter.