Controlling emotions

FreyA-wings

Chapter 12: The beginning to an end

May I first give one big and yes, huge, apologizes for the late update…. Actually, very late. Well, I have given myself a smack in the head and got back to work. You know why right? It's called work and exam!!! I haven't been updating regularly cuz ive been partying with my new bf… hahahaha!! Yay me!!! This time… I know what to write when I have to write lemons... hihihihi

Oh my! I cannot believe how many reviews I have got in my first day! I am so proud. Thanks so much you guys! This is just great. I like it, I like, I like, I like! Lolz. Well, keep up the great reviews and please do not hesitate to ask me any questions. Or anything that confuses you! Thanks again!

Now I am thinking, what kind of fic is this again? Drama and romance. Well, there is a bit of drama. Right? Hehehe… I need u guys to consider this. Do you think I should change it? Or keep it the way it is? Oh, I want a catchy sort of summary, if you guys could help me on that. Or is that catchy enough? Usually readers are interested when they read the review.

samuraiduck27: thank you. Yes… I think so. He is so gonna kick his butt. Hahaha. Well, thanks so much again for the review!!!! Here I have updated. Keep in touch

ChaOsViViRaiN: well you know what? I don't mind if you keep reviewing!!! If you think that the post is too long and no body has said anything, I would welcome your review!!! Thank you! Nice to meet you!!! Keep reviewing!!!

Vi3t BaBiI : hehehe evil laugh well, the question you asked will be answered in this chapter. Thanks! Keep reviewing!!! See ya laterz!!!

j9482002: your reviews are so unique!!! I will, and here it is!!! Hahaha… thanks for the review!!!! I don't know if addiction is a good thing but I'm happy that you like and understand the story!!!

Reignashii: sorry bout that. You know I see how confusing the beginning of the story is compared to this story. But I assure you to not worry because her past won't be talked later in the story. So I'll make sure that by the time kaoru's past do come up, I will make sure it IS and up most reasonable and accurate… hehehe… thanks for your attention!

My Name Is R.C: Hi!!!! Nice to meet you! What a long review! Lolz, well thank you so much for supporting me! Well, you will find out what is gonna happen to them soon. And here it is!!! Thank you again! And the questions!!! Well, let's just say it will be answered in this chappie! Thanks a whole loads

Kao-gurl: don't worry about updating as long as you keep reviewing! Thank you so much and keep on, yes gurl, keep on reviewing!

Pixel-the-evil-fairy: hey! Thank you so much and nice to meet you! Keep reviewing!

Seta'sgirl: thank you! Just keep on reviewing and your questions will be answered here! Hehehe. Thanks loadies.

Immortal-Blood: omg, you are like, the second one to have one negative impression on my story. And I am grateful for that by the way. I do agree that the beginning to my story is just one heck crap. I just hope that I'll improve later on which I did… hahahaha... Thanks btw, and keep reviewing!!!!

PersianRurouni: why thank you!!! Keep coming back and review!

Alfonsie: soooo soooorrryyy!!!! I have sooo much to do... Seriously! and here is your story!

Shy-me-95: thanks!!! Arigato!!!! Hehehe… keep reviewing!

Pvt Day: aww, I was hoping for a long review! Hehehe, thanks for the review!!!!

Kpxiceboi: heya! Nice to meet you and thanks for the review! Keep reviewing!

Fat Panda: awww, what a cute name! Well thanks sooooo very much for the review. sigh sometimes I read back the stories that I have done and maaan, did I made a lot of mistakes. Thanks anyway, all great! Hahahaha. Keep reviewing!

KK4eva: well, I think you should just continue with your stories as usual. Sometimes when you have an interesting idea, stick to it and keep on advancing to the idea. But sometimes when you just make the story as you go, you'll get one of those writer blocks. Man, I hate those. Right now, I have tried to keep planning my writing, looking over at it again… or have someone reading it to make sure it made sense. I'm all positive on you!! Thanks for the review!

Sorry if I haven't feedback all Ur comments. I just want to finish all this chappie up so u won't be all mad at me. Thank you so much!!!!!

Okay, for this next chapter I have made a special treat for you. I have made is especially longer! I hope it will satisfy you! Hehehe. I encourage you to keep on reviewing. It is the best sort of thing that has happened in my life!

Last chapter:

I ran up the stairs as fast as my leg could carry. And up there was an empty sofa. Megumi was gone. She must have ran when I was worried that I forgotten that the door was left open.

I yelled to myself. I was furious. Red heat spread the room. The temperature is rising. I was mad. I was furious. I had to do something.

Trying to calm myself down, I focused my energy. My emotions calmed and tried to think of a solution. First, I had to find Megumi. Track her down and get any information whatsoever. Secondly, if that plan doesn't work… then it's up to the police now. This is getting serious. This is utterly harassment. I need to find Megumi. And fast…

Kaoru's POV

As I awoke with a jerk, I cursed. My head spun so tightly and I was blinded by shiny stars. Oh, how much my eyes wanted to pop. It took me a minute to regain my eye sight. But for that moment, I kind of wished that didn't happen.

Yes, I do not know what is going on. First, there was Megumi, all washed up with emotions. Then I was forced by someone and then I fell unconscious. And now I am in an empty room, on a bed, with a stream of sunlight passing through a rotten window. My hands and legs are wrapped so tightly with ropes. The bed sheets were torn and the walls are all filled with graffiti, I could almost choke of fright. And the floor is made of old cement. What a place. There is no furniture in any place at all in the room. The air smelled of rotten fish. What a nightmare!

The door suddenly opened and in came the most hated person in the world. The one and only person that made my life happy and a living hell all at once. I glared at him, angry for what he had done to me. This has gone far enough. He has passed the line. Nothing, and I mean nothing, could make me forgive him.

His bright smile hooked to his frail looking skin of his face, as if admiring his catch. There shouldn't be a reason for me to be sick. But his gaze still ponders upon me. His silvery locks dangled above his eyes. His acute eyes, that sends shivers down my spine. His eyes looked worn out. As if he had not slept for days. It was touching how much worn out he looked. But what matters now is getting the freaking hell away from here.

"Yukimura Kensuke!" I wanted to yell. But anger draws my words in me and made my body more heated than it could handle. I was shaking. Not with fear but with passionate anger, one of those kinds where it is too hot to handle.

'My, my, sweetie pie. You look so heated.' Yukimura stood before me and I knew he had the power over me. His voice was raspy. He really does look worn out. But his towering figure portrays the dissolute man he had become, the one man that had changed my life. I nearly cried, but he was too good for it.

Suddenly, Yukimura bend down low, and looked at me straight in the eye. 'There is only one way to get to you,' he spoke in a small tone, barely a whisper, 'that one way is the hard way, and you should know this by now.'

I can tell he is up to something. And I am too frightened to even think about it. He was too close, too close to my face. I had to keep a straight face but failed miserably. There is something in his eyes that makes me weak. And by GOD how much I hate him for that.

But the most frightening thing of all is his hand stroking my face. It was an immediate impulse. My body went rigid. He didn't stop. But his other hand snaked up my thighs and that was when I cried. I was in tears. I was so alarmed and it staggered my barrier of strength that it went crumbling down into millions of filaments. It was crumbling so fast all I could do was cry as he still continues to roam his hands all over my body.

He, on the other hand, was taking pleasure in every moment of it. He was smiling his most horrendous blotch of a smile that just about made me heave right there and then. I was lost in fright. I tried to kick him with all my power in fright and disgust. In attempt to free myself from his roaming hand, all he did was to easily pin my hand together and made a big slap on my face…

There it was. I have lost. My pride and dignity have been stamped wrecked. I was officially immensely degraded… And most horridly… by him. My body became immobile as my cheek burned hot from his gruesome hand that was once unsoiled and soft. Those eyes too. Those eyes that brought my life into a light atmosphere, but now, right now, made me drop dead to the ground. The force of gravity seemed larger than ever. My body breaks. I have lost.

Kenshin's POV

I ran to her house. She is the only clue!

Megumi's house was small and very dark. I searched among the dark street. The only single light was the blurred lamp casting not enough rays to light even one house. Sometimes I wonder if this place should be used as a haunted house. Pity washed over me. But I have to gather my strength to get all the information I need. I slammed on the door. Yelling and calling her name, I didn't care. She didn't answer. Where could she be? I tried the door knob…. Surprisingly it turned. Was she in? Kaoru said her mother works nightshift. There shouldn't be a reason to leave the door unlocked. Well, despite her drinking temptation she might have forgotten to lock the door…. Or did she?

I silently crept into the solemn and daunting house. There were no lights. But I didn't call for her name. I searched to her small living room. There were only two bedrooms, small enough to be a closet. Nothing there.

I was curious. I was mad. I was confused, because for the first time, I felt so helpless. The one person that I want to protect is the one person that I cannot. But I can't just lose hope like this. Where is the spirit of being me, a battousai!

I stopped suddenly when I heard a small sound. It was barely a sound. There were no words. But it sounded so much like a weep. I tried to locate the sound. I could hear water dripping. I glanced here and there. The sound keeps getting closer and closer. It came from a door, rotten and old. I could hear water trickling silently and there was a groaning sound, as well as an earth wrecking weep. It must be megumi!

'Megumi!' I yelled. The weeping stopped and I could hear rapid and panicked movement from the inside. She must be trying to lock the door in surprise. As fast as I can I went towards the door and slammed it open.

It was a bathroom. The air around smelled vaguely like excrement. It was small and damp. And the floor was wet. Megumi was standing. She was still wearing her clothes. But it was wet. Her face was like a ship wreck. Black mascara ran down her cheeks. Her eyes were of faint red. Her hair was wet and a mess. She was stunned to see kenshin, running out of breath, standing in her bathroom of her most humiliating house. She was speechless.

'Megumi,' I gasped out her name. I was breathless. I tried to breathe in but the smell made me puke. She was embarrassed. Her eyes were lowered and she sank to the ground. She looked so dazed. But I could see she was trembling. Her hands were shaking and on the floor I noticed a bottle of pills, spilled… what is going on?

'What…' I started, but Megumi started to sob and moan. The sound was awful. I couldn't bear it. I breathed a deep sigh and tried again. 'Megumi, what exactly are you doing?' she didn't answer, instead in reply she doubled her painful moan and cries.

I tried to clear my head. I looked around the small bathroom. And in a flash, I noticed a kitchen knife, looking pretty sharp, in the corner of the room. I gazed hard at it, and then to the pills on the floor. That was when I came to my senses. This poor girl is trying to commit suicide. It was foul. Someone trying to kill themselves was too harsh. She must have a reason.

'Megumi,' I sat next to her, not daring to meet her eyes of hurt and misery, 'why?' For a few minutes she didn't answer. She struggled to give an answer, but I waited, patiently.

Finally she gazed up to the ceiling in an expression I could not figure. 'I guess…' Megumi started to speak in barely a whisper, her voice raspy and solid, as if she didn't have enough water to drink, 'I have to tell you the whole story.'

I was more than interested. She wanted to speak, and all I can do is to wait for her to start, and listen.

'Kenshin, I am some bitch. I sometimes pity myself… for not being myself. Trying to be someone else I guess is one of the things that I am most talented for.' She giggled sarcastically. I didn't, I waited for her to continue. 'Now that you see me, I don't even dare to ask what you think of me… I pretended so well… my life and all… it was all messed up.'

I tried to take this all in. but I couldn't understand. 'You see,' she continues, 'I was not wanted in this world. I was not accepted even in my family. My mother didn't even want me in the beginning… I was just a burden for her. We are wrecked. Our family is wrecked. We are a disaster. I wouldn't even call my fucking dad part of my fucking family. This is shit. Horrible things comes over us, none of which you can imagine.' She giggled again, this time nervously. 'Don't you worry, this stuff happens everyday, I'm sure of that. You know, when a family is wrecked because some misfit was born?'

Megumi jammed in her pocket to bring out a ruined and wet pack of cigarettes. She took one out and pushed it into her mouth as if her mouth had no muscles to hold the cigar. She tried to light her cigar, but her lighter was finished. She tried again, and again, and again, and again. Until she became so frustrated she slammed her lighter to the door. Then she started to cry again, softly and painfully. At one point I got tired of hearing her cries, partly because of kaoru, and partly because her cries painfully stitching each and every inch of my heart leaving trails of red blood around my whole body. But she needed someone. She was attempting suicide. And I know she has a story behind it. So I must stay put until she finally finishes.

'I despise you,' I could feel the anger within her tone of voice, 'you and that little Kaoru.' Megumi stood up and glanced down at me. I didn't look up to see her.

'Do you have ANY IDEA?' she yelled, 'Do you have any idea how much pain I have to go through? I have no one to turn to! If any of my friends figured out that I am just some bitch pretending to be someone I'm not, what then will they think of me? They would just turn their backs on me and pretend I don't exist!'

She dropped down again to the floor and sobbed while saying, 'I have a ruined family, a miserable life, I have no reality, and I live in a world of fantasy, hiding my real figure within my fucking dream… and…' she trailed off. I still didn't look up at her. I was scared to see what I will probably see.

Megumi was silent. I can still hear the water trickling and the sound of the clock ticking. Time is precious. But I had to listen.

'My life was pointless. And I just realized it…' she held my hand and I glanced to look at her. Curiosity flooding me and she held my hand as if in an attempt to be rescued. 'You must be wondering about this young silver head… don't you?' At this comment I froze.

'He was my lover. I was passionately, deeply in love with him. I was so in love with him, I would do anything to make him happy… even if it does break my self-respect.' I stared at her face. Determination flooded me. Oh my lord. Is she saying…? 'I would do anything. Yes? I even turned my back to a person who I once called a friend,' she continued, 'every single bit of information I could gather, I tell him.'

I was speechless. My body numb. I was so taken aback that I tried to push her hands away. She looked hurt. Her eyes started to water again, and she creased her eyebrows. Megumi dragged herself to the wall and hugged her weakened legs together while muttering, 'see! This is what happens! This is what you would get when you do these horrible things.'

I held my head with my hand. All this time, I thought, all this time has not only been HIM, but a person who was once… kaoru's friend.

'I HATE LOVE!' she yelled, sobbed and shook. 'Look what LOVE has brought me! I loved an enemy! And now that he already has the information, he turned his back on me! HE DOESN'T CARE! THAT FUCKING MOTHER FUCKER!' she wept and cried and yelled swear words. Her body went wildly around the place as she sat on the wet floor. 'He doesn't even care… about his… child.'

'What?' I surprisingly turned my head to look at her. Did she say…? 'I'M PREGNANT!!!' she yelled and stopped suddenly to cry. 'I stupidly believed him and when I told him I was going to have a child, in disgust he replied that he won't do anything for me. I was an empty can as I always was and that he could just THROW AWAY!'

Too stunned to say anything, I waited. I had no words.

'Maybe… if I'm not in this world… I don't have to suffer so much pain… I had enough.' her tears were flowing so easily, her eyes swollen and her face wrecked. Pity once again washed over me. I know how difficult this must be for her.

Finally, I spoke up, 'Megumi, no matter what, your life is precious! And the fact that you are going to bring another life into this world… is amazing!' she looked at me in ridicule, 'Kenshin, I don't, I don't, I don't, and I will never give birth to a child who will be the same bitchy me… I don't want to have a child who will suffer the way I did. To live life the way I do. And to be the person… I'm not…'

I took her hand this time and she looked up to me. 'But you can change that… you can make this newborn be the one person that you always wanted it to be. Do not, and I am saying this loud and clear, do NOT, give hope and lose to a one of a kind ASSHOLE who stole your first ever love. You can still make him look up to you, and make him return your self respect and dignity… Megumi, in one way or another, this is crime. You must not lose hope to someone, especially someone like… like… HIM!' anger was raised in my voice.

Megumi started to sob again… but this time less painful than it was before. I hugged her. She needed love. She misunderstood love, and that wretched silver head man has perfected so many lives… and yet has buried their perfected life into oblivion. I don't understand how someone like him even exists in this world. But I know there should be a way to stop him.

Kaoru's POV

I awoke with a startling jolt. Sweat was pouring from my body, my breathing was racing. I just had a nightmare. For a few seconds, I didn't realize my surroundings. But as soon as reality hit me, the same vast numbness spread all over my body. My hands and legs were not tied up anymore. But the red pain on my cheeks and all over my body still leaves its trademark. I was still in the same room, in the same atmosphere, but I didn't have the same aura. My body and soul… was black

Kenshin's POV

I stood among the dark trees. It was two hours past midnight and my body is immense in anxiety. Megumi finally took a hold of herself, and told me where I could find kaoru… my kaoru…

And here I am, standing in front of a very small cabin, among the dark trees of a very large and deserted place. The only light shining was the moon, and I pray the moon to help me shine my way. I need all the help I could get. I have to avoid a fight, any fight. Fighting does not meet my standard. However, if I do meet a battle… then I know what I am fighting for.

big huge laugh… you know… I cannot believe it took me, how many weeks? Like a whole year to finish this bit. But actually I've done this in like… three days. Sorry if this story is not long enough and does not have squeezy scenes. I didn't intend it to be like this but I hope the next one there will be… I think… lolz

Ooh… please come and visit my deviant art gallery at I have fan arts there as well, just to check out on my other creative side wink

Have a nice holiday everybody!!!!! Beach!!!! Here I gooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!

Merry Christmas and a happy new year!!!!!