Our Screwed Up Lives
Chapter 16: The Title-less Chapter
Hello my peeps, or should I say peep! This is dedicated to our only reader, Cuban Inuyasha fan, you rock! We added you in our end convo! I have one thing to say to you, "wah wah!" Oh, and Whit says "You are very shiny!"
Harley and Whitney were watching Inuyasha look through their horoscopes. It was painfully obvious that he had no idea what the stuff meant. Although he put up a good front by nodding his head and scratching his chin every once and a while.
Inuyasha finally laid the stuff down and turned to the two demonesses and said. "From what I can see (which is not a lot Har: Very nice aren't you. Whit: I know! Inu: She was being sarcastic… Whit: No shit) it's all good. Everything's in order. But we should call Sesshomaru up here so he can check it out. You know how Mr. Perfect is."
Whitney paled. "NO! He is NOT coming up here, or anywhere within fifty feet of me!"
Harley giggled. "I feel so bad for you! It's just so funny how everything bad happens to you! At least Inu here isn't going into heat!"
"Oh ha, ha very funny. You know what, I won't help you when he does go all freaky on ya and starts to go all 'come in my room! Do not be afraid!'"
Inuyasha just watched as the Whitney started reciting all that Sesshomaru said to her. He was the only one to see the said youkai come up the stairs.
"Then he had the gall to go and say 'This Sesshomaru would like for you to run.' I mean come on! If your gonna go in heat, go do it somewhere privately! Jeez, frickin' weirdo!" Whitney said huffing and throwing her hands into the air.
Then Harley paled. "What's wrong, Har? You look like you've seen a ghost." She giggled.
"Something a lot worse then that, Whit. RUN! Wait! Don't run!"
"What? What's wrong?"
"This Sesshomaru would like to see you run. Although, I don't think you would get very far." Sesshomaru said in that cold, evil, know-it-all, slightly sexy voice of his. (As you can tell Whit's typing right now. Whit: Obviously! Sessh is my man!)
Whitney turned around and gasped. "Sesshomaru! Are you okay now? I don't wanna have to hit you. Well, actually I do, but you don't want me to hit you. So…."
Sesshomaru growled. "This Sesshomaru is fine, bitch."
"Grr…no more bitch!" Whitney said stomping her foot.
"I like that word!" Harley yelled, hopping to her feet.
"Err…pancakes?" Inuyasha said again.
"Not again!" Harley screamed exasperatedly.
"What's with Inuyasha and the pancakes?" Whitney said, waving her hand at the said inu-hanyou.
"This Sesshomaru does not know." Sesshomaru said, shaking his head in mild disgust.
To their sudden horror, Inuyasha started singing. "Pa-a-a-ncakes, pa-a-a-ncakes…so panny and cakey….pancaaaakes…oh how I love my precious paaaaancakes! Covered in syrupy bliss, buttery wonders on clouds of fluffy goodness….oh yeah, baby! And no, not my ugly faggy brother, but the good fluffy, PANCAKES!"
"What…the…hell…was…that…?" Harley exclaimed in terror.
"That's some fricken weird cracked up shit!" Whitney yelled. "First Sesshomaru's movin it, now Inuyasha's pancake-obsessed…..who's next? Harley…you better not go all weird on me, I don't wanna be the only sane one here. Oh, no, what if the next one is…me?" Audible gulp.
"My little brother may be in need of another appointment with his psychiatrist." Sesshomaru said blandly.
"Wait, why did Inu need a psychiatrist in the first place?" Harley asked with a quirk of the eyebrow.
"You don't wanna know…" Inuyasha shook his head.
"Oookaaay." Whitney said, grabbing Harley's arm and pulling her away from the hanyou. "Err….uh...Sesshomaru why don't you check out our project." she dashed to the report that was lying on the ground next to the telescope. "Here ya go." She walked to him, handed it to him, and stood in front of him expectantly. Sesshomaru stared at her for a second and then turned to the report currently resting in his hands.
Sesshomaru read over the report in half the time Inuyasha did, and turned to Whitney. "It's satisfactory." he said handing it to her.
Harley scoffed at his reply, and turned to Inuyasha. "Okay, we have about five hours until the sun sets. What do you wanna do?"
"I dunno." Inuyasha said shrugging his shoulders and beginning to take apart the telescope.
Harley huffed. "Gee! Very enthusiastic aren't we?"
Whitney giggled and then stopped and hopped up and down "Let's go and see Ashli! It's her weekend here and she's just getting it on with my cousin!"
"Err...Don't know if I want to get into that." Harley said, raising an eyebrow.
"This Sesshomaru does not want to see your cousin do such things." Sesshomaru stated, coldly.
Whitney huffed. "I was just jokin'. Ash and George aren't like that. But I do want to see her."
Inuyasha stood up. "Is she at your house?"
Harley nodded. "Yeah, she's staying in my room. You know I would like to see her too. I wonder if she got her fire figures down."
Whitney nodded eagerly. "Ple-e-e-ase, Guys!" She nudged Harley and they both fell into the puppy dog pout. "Ple-e-e-ease!" they said simultaneously.
Sesshomaru thought for a second and then nodded curtly. "Fine. Go and change and we will leave."
"What do you mean go and change?" Whitney said quizzically. Then her and Harley looked down and noticed that they were still in their pjs. Seeing their pajamas made them remember last night, which set them off into an instant blush. "Ooops." Harley said, and began to drag Whitney down the roof stairs.
When the girls were done they ran down the stairs together, both hyper form the oncoming visit. Whitney decided to breach a subject both her and Harley were wondering on. "Um…how can InuTashio ground us at his house?"
Harley shrugged. "I think it's some dad thing. You know, 'must punish kids.' I bet all dad's have it. Hell, if my dad wasn't some psychotic murderer he's probably have it to."
Whitney blanched at Harley's easy way of talking about her dad's murdering ways. "Err….right."
"I mean, if my dad hadn't killed my mom, I'd probably be in my room grounded for taking to long of a bath or something. I dunno." Harley said off handedly.
"Yeah, probably." Whitney said, falling into her cousin's easy-going manner. "But I swear. All parents have it programmed in them or something. I mean, I was like, scared of InuTashio! He freaked me out!"
Harley shivered. "Yeah, I know. He is a very intimidating demon."
"Why thank you girls. I take that as a compliment." InuTashio said as they hopped down the last step. "I work hard on my reputation."
Whitney and Harley giggled nervously. "Yeah…uh…you're good at it." Harley said, she could practically feel the sweat drop on the back of her head.
InuTashio chuckled and walked out of the room. "See you girls in a little while."
"Bye, Mr. Takomi!" The girls chirped happily. "Well that was awkward." they said together. "Jinx!" "Grr." "I said it first!" "No I did!"
"You both did, now come on." Inuyasha said blandly. "I want to get some WacDonalds afterwards."
The girls hurriedly followed him out of the house, to be met with a limo. "Uh…Is that what we're taking?" Whitney said, pointing to the black limo.
Inuyasha nodded. "Yeah, why?"
Harley pointed at the limo. "It's a limo. Isn't it a little…much?"
A window rolled down to reveal a very peeved Sesshomaru. "Are you coming or not?"
Inuyasha nodded and darted towards the door, opening it and dashing in. "Come on."
The girls shrugged at each other and got into the limo. Whitney and Harley got into the spacious limo. Inuyasha was on the left bench seat while Sesshomaru was on the right. Harley, being the first in looked to where she should sit. Whitney, being impatient, pushed Harley to the left…. And onto Inuyasha's lap. "Oops." Whitney whispered as she sat down to the left of Sesshomaru. "Sorry, Har. But I didn't want to see your ass in my face all day." She giggled into her hand.
"Don't worry, Whit. I don't wanna see your ass in my face either." Harley said, scrambling out of the blushing Inuyasha's lap. She huffed and crossed her arm under her breasts, catching Inuyasha's eyes.
"Whatever." Whitney said, looking out the window. "Hmm….wonder what Ash is doing right now. Jordan better not be playing my Kingdom Hearts game. If he starts it over, I'll kill him."
The three stared at her as she talked to herself. Harley shook her head, while Inuyasha just looked kinda freaked out. Sesshomaru looked on in mild amusement. "Hey, Whit?" Harley said. "Umm….when do you want your game back? You know, the Lord of the Rings one?"
Whitney shrugged, not turning around. "When we get back, I guess. It's not like I'm going to play while I'm there."
Harley sighed, thinking that Whitney wouldn't kill her for taking the game. "Okay."
"Oh, and Har? I'm still going to kill you afterwards." Whitney said, the whole time her face was turned to the window.
"What's wrong with her?" Inuyasha whispered to Harley.
"This is what I call 'Whitney's thinking mode.' She goes into it whenever she's bored." Harley whispered, just as low.
"Oh." Inuyasha said, watching his brother watch Whitney. He then sighed and turned back to Harley who was also looking out the window. "Okay, I'm bored." Inuyasha said, slapping his hands on his thighs. "What do we do now?"
Whitney turned to him. "How about a game of 'My little eye'?"
Harley turned at this. "Yeah, something to pass the time. You guys wanna play?" She turned to Inuyasha, who nodded, and then Sesshomaru who didn't do anything. "I'll take that as a 'yes'. I'll go first. I spy with my little eye…..something stupid."
Whitney grinned. "Why it's Inuyasha, of course."
"No!" Harley said, glaring at her cousin. "Try again."
"Umm…Fluffy-butt?' Inuyasha said, pointing at his brother.
Harley clapped, "You got it!"
Sesshomaru growled, but was silenced by Whitney's question. "Why do you call him Fluffy-butt? Does he have a fur covered ass or something?"
Inuyasha fell into a fit of laughter and Harley giggled, while Sesshomaru snarled at Whitney. "What? I really wanna know? It's just a frickin' question! Kami!"
Inuyasha gathered air into his lungs, and began to speak. "Umm…well I took his fuzzy tail and added butt to it. He's such an ass that I thought it would fit. I just didn't think Fluffy-ass really sounded well."
The limo fell into giggles, well Sesshomaru fell into a fit of growls and bared his fangs at Inuyasha, and then Whitney, who was holding her stomach and leaning forward. "I'm sorry, Sessh. But that is too funny." She giggled a couple more times and then fell back and sighed. "But I still love ya! No matter how easy it is to make fun of you."
The car fell silent. "What? What did I say?" She held her hands up in a helpless manner.
"Uhh…Whitney…you just…err.." Harley stammered.
"You just said you lo-" Inuyasha started but was cut off.
"We are here my lords!" Jaken squeaked as he opened the limo's right door.
The four got out. "That will be all for now, Jaken." Sesshomaru said coldly. "Stay here and wait for us to return."
Jaken nodded and got back into the limo, watching as the four teenagers walked into the rather large condo.
A/N… Well that wasn't such an embarrassing chapter. I think it was pretty good, seeing how the last one was so long. That thing took four hours to write, this one only took 2! And Harley once again talked while I wrote! You couldn't shut her big trap up if your life depended on it!
Har: HEY!
Whit: HEY!
Inu: HEY!
Sessh: HEY!
Whit: AGHH! RUN! Harley! We gotta go before he catches us!
Har: You mean before he catches you?
Whit: Shut up!
Inu: What's going on?
Har: Whit had a bad dream.
Sessh and Inu: Bad dream (watches as Whitney begins to run out of the room, screaming something about rapist.)
Har: Yeah…she had a bad dream that Sessh raped her. (This actually happened to Whitney. She's been traumatized. ) In fact, that's why she likes Kouga in One Mission. Sorry Sessh, but as soon as this fic is over, Whitney is leaving ya!
Sessh: She cannot!
Har: And why the hell not?
Whit: Har open the damned door!
Inu: Err…why can't she get out?
Sessh: I wont let her.
Whit: AGHHH! The horror! The horror! Don't run! Stay still! Now run! AGHH!
Har: Yeah, while Whitney struggles for her life, I think I'll fulfill my dream of being a talk-show host. I present to you, yourself! Here's Cuban Inuyasha Fan! (applause button flashes)
Audience which suddenly appeared outta nowhere: claps
Cuban Inuyasha Fan: Thank you, thank you!
Har: Well, since you are our only reviewer, I thought I would be the nice nice person I am, and allow you in our conversation! I will know if you don't read these!
CIF: Oooooookay.
Har: So, are you really Cuban?
CIF: Yeah…
Whit: Then how do ya know English, huh?
CIF: Aren't you being chased by Sessh?
Whit: Oh shit….(runs away)
Har: Yeah, just so ya know, we're not freaky stalkers or anything, we just visited your page…
CIF: I feel better now.
Whit: I wanna bring in somebody! (still running)
Har: FINE! You can bring in Orlando Bloom!
Whit: YAY! I present Mr. Bloom!
(Girls in audience faint)
Orly: Yo, guys, what's up?
Har: Sooo, how is Pirates of the Caribbean 2 goin'?
Whit: HEY! I'm supposed to be asking the questions here!
Har: Well you're busy! SO SHUT UP!
CIF: Err…Yeah, whatever…O.o
Orly: Um, I thought you wanted to ask me some questions?
Whit: I do!
Har: I'm the talk-show host, dammit!
Whit: I want to talk to Orlando Bloom, Harley! Tell Sessh to stop chasing me!
CIF: What's Inuyasha doing right now?
Har: He's my bodyguard! Right Inu?
(Camera goes backstage to see Inu in black suit and sunglasses)
Inu: Affirmative.
CIF: I didn't know he knew that word…
Har: Neither did I…
Whit: LET ME TALK TO MY ORLANDO BLOOM! (Whit is chased even more)
Sessh: WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL HIM!
Whit: Why me!
Har: Will you two shut-up and sit down!
Sessh: FINE!
Whit: Yes, Harley, you're my savior!
Har: I know. (Halo appears above her head)
Inu: Yeah, you just can't see the horns holding it up…
Whit: YEAH! My time with Orly!
Orly: Er…your the one who brought me here?
Whit: Yep…Okay my first question is...what was it like to play an elf?
Orly: It was great. Something new, you know? And using the bow was awesome!
CIF: Can you really use a bow?
Orly: Yeah. (Huff) What do you think, it was all fake?
Inu and Sessh: YEAH!
Whit: HEY! Don't poke fun at Orly!
Har: Okay…I end this now with the wisest words known to man… "wah-wah."
EVERYONE: Buh-bye! REVIEW CUBAN INUYASHA FAN, CUZ WE ALL KNOW THAT YOU ARE THE ONLY 1 WHO DOES! Run Whit, RUN!