Controlling emotions

FreyA-wings

Chapter 17: Confusion

Let me first of all thank you again for still reading my stories.

Author's note: I just want you all to know that if I make a mistake or there is some confusion in the stories, I apologize. Main reason is that I sometimes don't glance back at my other chapters so I tend to forget that some things occurred and somehow in the ongoing chapter it just seemed a bit… off. I will try to keep it on track as much as possible. At least you all are still with me I am grateful.

Oh, and I just watched Chrono Crusade and Naruto and I fell in love already. Next, I am going to buy Shaman King, Full metal Alchemist and One piece. Wow, if anyone knew I loved these things, they would really feel surprised. I don't look like the type of person who would dedicate her minutes with these anime sorts of movies. Yay, I am mysteriously haunted by that.

Here are my replies to my reviewers:

Cheerios68: OMG! I love this story! I can't wait til you update. Update soon please!

Thanks for your review. Thank you for loving it and I hope you would continue to read it.

picklezzz: you go girl! UPDATE PLEASE!

Thanks! Don't worry, I have updated as soon as I can.

susana: love your storys. i think that they are doing good and that you should keep going. keep me updated on when you are writing more chapters!

A big hug for you! I want to keep you updated but its quite hard for me to tell you when the next chapter would come up. But here it is before you, enjoy!

Megan: must say this chapter was quite catching.. Definitely surprised me when Sano showed up! Hope you add a new chapter-I'm sure Karou's POV will show her embarrassment big time because I know there would have been no way I could live that down the next day! Keep up the writing because you are doing a wonderful job on this fanfic.

I wanted the surprise element. It gives readers the anxiety, and I am hoping I successfully created that. Thank you for reviewing and hope you would continue on reading.

busuyahiko: damn good lime. damn good. i hope u will write more to this story, its hard to find a well developed and longish story like this one. this is definately going on my favorites! plz do the lemon well cuz if they arnt good than there not fun 2 read. thnx and keep up the good work.

p.s. perhaps add a vacation? (it would be very fun 4 busuyahiko 2 read.lol

Wow, I appreciate the remark. And I love you for liking this story, if it's not too bold to say. And your idea about the vacation is pretty catchy. Let me try and squeeze some things in shall we. (I didn't really want to make this long)

legolasEstelstar: hi sweetie! yes, i loved this chapter, and it wwas a good love scene. at least i liked it! so keep it up sweetie. i like your story. hello? i even read it again! and i noticed taht burst out you had abotu being a nerd who writes yadda yadda... well, whats wrong withwritting? if you have the talent, use it honey! that doesnt mean your one of those who have no life other than an imaginary one in the net... hm..i wonder what would those people do if the net dies? anyway, take care, and iu are a good girl, dont worry.

Ha Ha Ha, you are one great reviewer. Thank you for your great support and I acknowledge that thank you very much. I hope you are still reading and I will be waiting for your soon review. Thanks for keeping up with me.

kaoru2153: hugs Yay! You have finally posted more! I was begining to think that this story was dead! Please update it soon so I can add it to my list of Kenshin stories that I love again! x

No, the story does not end here. I will NOT let that happen! LOL. Please continue to read and I have updated as early as I can. So enjoy

Reignashii: wail dammit sano! it was getting hot! hahaha cool chapter! pouts he just had to interupt tho T-T that was a great chapter! loved it! tehehehehe... blush all time favorite reviewer? im honored tehehe yes i hang around a lot either cause nothing to do or to lazy to do anything else hahahaha - cringe my stories? we'll be around 90 by the time i finnally get one out to my liking hahahaha - me and my low self esteem heheehe well hopefully ill get at least ONe chapter before summer but dont get your hopes up but im trying sortof hahaha - this was an awsome chapter im looking forward to the next one!

O my, I thought you have some written samples of your work. But that's okay. You can be my great reviewer. Just keep spouting those comments on my page. LOL. Please enjoy this updated chapter!

bbzachariah: hey! awesome chapter! i love your fanfic. plz update sooner.

Hey, thanks for replying! I have made progress! So here is your new chapter. Enjoy it to the fullest!

gabyhyatt: poor ken

well, if you are talking about Ken not having his way with Kaoru then yeah I would have to agree with you LOL. Here is the new chapter.

OOOOOOOO

Last Chapter:

OOOOOOOO

It was true that in my younger years I hated to go out public. Even making out in front of other people is just not my thing, at least, not until I met Tomoe. She was strikingly different that any girls I know. She even taught me stuff that was interesting and quite pleasurable. However, I was quite thrown off when Kaoru was pretty damn confident about herself. It was hard not to fall in love with her. She was just too gorgeous…

Sano was blushing and he sat down on the sofa apologizing to me again and again and again. I wasn't listening. I was staring at the door that belongs to a woman I was very much interested in.

When Sano wouldn't stop apologizing, I glared at him and he jumped back, frightened. I guess there are limits to people. And you know guys just could not hold them for long. Curse Sano for ruining this brilliant day… I swore I was going to kill him.

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Kaoru's POV

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The only feeling that lingers in my head was the fact that I felt incomplete. There was something rather different with my body. There was a huge door that was open but not completely, making me raking with anxiety. I have no idea what it is but it made me uneasy.

When I awoke the next morning, to find my cloths are still intact from last night, to find my hair frizzled with no boundaries at all, I felt very much different. Suddenly it hit me. I remembered what incident happened last night and wondered whether it was just a dream.

I took a deep breath and snaked to the door. I pressed my ear against it and tried to listen for a sound. There was none. I glanced for a moment at my room. The sun was shining through the window, signaling afternoon light. Again, I pressed my ear against the door and once I was sure there was no sign of anybody, I opened the door as slowly and silently as possible.

Like a relentless alien, I glanced right and left before proceeding towards the kitchen. With much awareness, I opened the fridge door and took the bottle of orange juice and gulped down as fast as I can.

'Hey, slow down there.'

I almost choked my orange juice. I swear it was the shock of my life. I turned around quickly to see the intruder. It was Kenshin.

Kenshin with the beautiful eyes,

Kenshin with the crumply sexy hair,

Kenshin without his T-shirt,

Kenshin with the body of an almighty god,

I swear I almost fainted. 'Jesus, Kenshin,' I gasped out while holding my chest and the juice, 'don't freak me out like that.' I flicked my eyes quickly at his cut. It wounded his skin quite deeply. Suddenly I felt guilty.

'Well, next time, don't freak me out with gulping down that juice so fast. Save some for me will you.'

He neared towards me and I blushed, recalling the past moments. But he only took the juice from my hand and poured it into his cup.

As Kenshin gulped down his juice, I was really wondering whether last night was a definite incident or not because Kenshin was acting as if nothing happened last night. I looked curiously at him and stopped staring when he finished gulping the rest of the juice. My heart suddenly wanted to burst when he eyed me with those brilliant eyes. It was thumping in my ears I knew for certain he must have heard it.

So, to hide my embarrassment, I slide past him and walked quickly to my room. But just a few more steps into my room Kenshin called me. I had to stop, but I didn't turn back. I didn't want to turn back. My cheeks were blushing red.

'Last night,' he began, but was interrupted by a sudden loud chatter of Sano, again.

'O… what a lousy morning. I feel like shit.' Sano yawned and scratched his head while making his way to the kitchen. I could feel Kenshin's glare but Sano didn't notice it. It did seem like a lousy morning. My mind was still wondering whether last night was true or not.

Sano suddenly stopped in his tracks and exchanged looks from me to Kenshin. He seemed a bit puzzled, then Sano opened his eyes and laughed nervously, 'Ha, you know I had a bizarre dream last night. I thought I saw you guys together and I was in the way and all of the sudden I was kicked by Kenshin. Man, he really did kick my ass off because he was so mad that I interrupted him. I even thought the dream was real…'

There was silence in the room. Sano seemed oblivious to the fact that Kenshin's aura is changing from pale black… to really black. My face was also crimson red and my heart thumped so fast I thought it would burst in no time. Sano became speechless. He blushed and in a very awkward way, made his way towards his room.

Once Sano closed the door to his room, Kenshin looked at me. I shyly stared back. He just sighed and asked if I wanted breakfast or not. Well, more like brunch. At first I didn't respond, and then I thought twice and said yes. I should be glad that he wasn't taking yesterday's incident so serious. I mean, it wasn't serious right?

The next few minutes, I could already smell the delicious smell of bacon and eggs. I helped him with the toast and a soon was ready with the plates. We cooked in silence rather, awkwardness fulfilling the entire room I was sure Sano could feel the dreaded shivers.

As we sat down the table Kenshin ate right away. He didn't mention any word nor did I. The food seemed tasteless in my mouth. Even though Kenshin's cooking never let me down, this time I was sure I was too preoccupied that I wasn't enjoying the food like I usually do.

Finally Kenshin gave a huge sigh and put down his fork. 'Kaoru,' Kenshin began and my heart stopped a beat. I tried to penetrate my mind on the most interesting thing on the planet: my food. I knew at once that he was going to say either what had or had not happened last night. I tried to choke in my food but my anxiousness couldn't be stopped, it was stuck within my throat.

'Kenshin,' I interrupted. Every emotions and feelings kept fumbling in my mind and I want to express it in the simplest way possible. Yes, I had a hard time managing that. Kenshin looked quite shyly at me. He must be wondering what I was thinking. Managing that, and the fact that I also wanted to know what Kenshin was thinking. I need to get this all out of my system.

'Kenshin, I didn't regret what ever happened last night.'

I said it all so quickly I wasn't sure Kenshin even caught what I said. 'I mean,' I continued, 'with what you tried to do last night… it made me feel…' I looked up to meet Kenshin's gaze, '…special.'

Kenshin gave a small smile, such a genuine smile that my heart started beating again. 'Kaoru,' he said in his low husky voice, '… I thought that we had done something very… wrong last night.'

There was an awkward silence and from that much time, I felt like I was the smallest person on earth. 'But, other than that…' Kenshin continued quietly as I held my breath, '… I also… didn't regret what happened last night.'

I almost let a tear drop down. I wet my lips and suddenly didn't know how to react. I was so nervous and you readers should know because even though you haven't been in a sticky situation like this but I am sure you must have had the opportunity to experience a little awkward and nervous chilling moment. This is how I felt. I was speechless. I didn't know how to react and I didn't know if I should be happy or glad or sad.

'Well,' I started again with a quiet voice, 'I never thought that, we would end up this way. I mean… well, the fact is… I feel like I am me again… with you that is.' I giggled nervously. I paused for a second while I regain my composure, trying to disentangle my cluttered words.

'Kenshin, I never thought that I would feel alive again. What happened last night was amazing and I have to tell you honestly. I didn't regret any second of it because you made me feel very… well… extraordinary. I thought that I would never disconnect myself with my past. You gave me a lost memory at the theme park you know that? I have to thank you. Thank you for being the most wonderful and amazing person.'

I paused a moment. I didn't dare to look up at his face. I didn't want to know what his expression was like. But while he only stayed silent, all I could think were negative thoughts.

'It's just that, this is probably the first time in so many years that I have felt truly happy. Before that I was a complete wreck, wondering whether I would stand back up again. There were times when I suddenly realized just how much I have lost. I have lost my past, my desire to live. I need someone to hold on to, someone to breathe with me, someone to care and cherish every moment awake and asleep. I just need that one precious moment where I can hug and kiss and…'

There were no more words left. Kenshin swallowed it all. He pressed his lips so passionately against mine that it felt as if he sucked all the energy inside of me. I closed my eyes and gave in to the kiss. I returned his kiss with all the love and energy that I have inside of me. My heart fluttered, all of my surroundings seemed oblivious. It was this that made me realize, I was in love with Kenshin.

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Sano's POV

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After I made sure the coast was clear. I head out of my room complete with my gear and helmet. I wanted to take my baby for a spin. As I neared the parking lot, I gazed lovingly at my brand new motorcycle. Sure, I was a rich dude. And yet I ran away and took my father's money with me. Being the usual ignorant me, I bought myself a great and grand motorcycle.

I adjusted my helmet and threw my body over on the leather seat. I sighed slowly, getting used to the comfortable seat of my little baby. I smiled to myself and started the engine. It gave a low grumble and with all the excitement that I had, I sped for it.

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Megumi's POV

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I awoke that morning with a headache. I wasn't feeling very well. Nor was I ever. After this entire incident, I hadn't actually experienced anything more than sad. I was below that. I was beyond helpless… I felt like dying.

These past few weeks had been the worst ever. When I realized that I was pregnant, I did what every pregnant young teenage would do… panic. I walked slowly towards the kitchen and tried to get a nice long cold drink. I had gone through many times in my head how I was going to forego this new living being inside of me.

I had spent crying for days. I was all alone. My lover didn't even care that I was pregnant. He left me alone that low life fucker. I had thought about getting an abortion but ever since Kenshin gave me the initiative to try and bring this out, I turned down that option. I needed to make sure that I didn't become like my mother, who didn't want me in the first place. I didn't even tell my mother, not with all the stress that she was going through. I didn't want to give her a heart attack. I was so panicked when she had it a couple of months ago because she was working too hard. Sure she wasn't the healthiest mom alive. But she had such low energy capacity when she was small and was brought up in a hard world. I had no father when I was born and I had spent my years under my mother's misery. If she found out I was pregnant, she would throw me out. And as much as I didn't like her, I didn't exactly hate her. She needs me and I need her.

I struggled to get to the kitchen fridge. Suddenly, there was a jolt of pain on my stomach that I cried out in agony and fell to the ground. The ache was dreadful I had tears coming from my eyes. I cringed while I tried to stand up. I need to go to the hospital. I couldn't take this anymore.

With all the strength I could muster, I struggled to stand up. I tried to take my mind off the pain and made my way as swiftly as possible to the door. My head was spinning, I couldn't even walk properly. This moment was indescribable; I thought I would collapse very soon.

Have you ever experience being under a dreadful situation where you were not sure what really happened to you? All you could feel is the soreness, terror and dreadful sensation inside of you. Everything is a haze, the ground seemed to spin and the world turned upside down. You feel like you are falling from a very high height. And no one is there to help you. You are unaided and alone. Even in a few meters there is no sight of any activity. You are alone… alone… abandoned… isolated…

…

More than ever, have I felt like this... right now…

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Sano's POV

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The wind blew swiftly and I felt like flying. I was smiling all the while I drove this baby. You couldn't get enough of the speed. Sure enough it was very addictive.

I was driving on a deserted street. I wasn't even sure exactly where I was, but I enjoyed the long and silent road of this place. There just doesn't seem to be much activity anywhere. Every few miles I would come across a few small and cozy houses. But the rest are thick sakura trees.

Imagine a long street, completely deserted. On the left and right side of the road, plant a long row of blossoming sakura trees. The wind and weather is just perfect. The sky is blue and the grass is green. What a beautiful day.

Suddenly, I noticed a figure approaching. I didn't slow my engine but I was interested to see who in the world would walk alone on this empty street. As far as I saw, there weren't much activity anyway along the street.

What I was about to discover, was the figure of the person that I had always tried to meet again. I passed it quite quickly but I noticed that long black silky hair. Without a moment to lose, I looked back just in time to see her drop down to the ground.

I slammed my brakes and made a very narrow turn. The tire made squeaky noise along the asphalt. I didn't care. I held my breath as I came past the figure that seemed so helpless and in pain.

She was on the ground now, holding her stomach and her face was twisted in pain. Her long dark hair was all tangled on her beautiful face and her breathing was very heavy. When I finally approached her, I kneeled down and quickly tried to hold her up to see her face, wondering what was wrong.

She discovered my face of worry and confusion, only to meet a pale and hurting face. It was her: Megumi. I tried to lift her up and said, 'what's wrong? What happened?'

She didn't respond. Her eyes were half closed and this worried me even more. Without a moment of wavering I lifted her up and carried her to my motorcycle. This woman was supposed to be feisty with me, but with all this, I knew it was serious. I struggled to get her on my bike but I finally made it and kicked the gas. Then I drove with all my might, leaving skid marks on the black asphalt. I drove as fast as I could, ignoring signs and warnings. I drove along the beautiful cherry blossoms when I knew it was a beautiful day. But my mind was not there. I was sick with worry. To me right now, I was sucked into a puddle of pink petals that I envisioned to be a blood bath.

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Megumi's POV

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I wasn't sure whether I was dreaming or not. Nor had I thought that what had happen, actually occurred. I only remembered the gentle wind blowing my hair, a soft and warm embrace supported with toned and muscled body. Surprisingly, the pain went away, as if just those silent touches diminished the pain.

I awoke slowly. I tried to lift my heavy eyes. My vision still blurred. I tried to open my eyes again; still it was too heavy to open. Every time I tried, my head started to spin, so I stopped a moment before trying again.

I could hear something beeping, a smell of cleanliness and sanitized reeked. It was all too familiar. I had to open my eyes again. As hard as I tried, I opened my eyes. For a moment, I could not see anything. It was all too blurry.

Suddenly the pain in my stomach began to initiate that I groaned in pain, barely making a noise. I clutched hard at the uncontaminated linen as I again tried to open my eyes. I could hear whispers. Initially, the room was clear. I was not surprised to be sleeping at the hospital bed. It was a clean and white room, the familiar smell of sterilized air touched my senses and I felt the pang of horrible memories that suddenly came to my head. I hated the hospital. I never wanted to set foot on it again.

Sweat was pouring over my head, my breathing labored and the pain in my stomach would not subside. I had to get out of here. With much force and difficulty and sat up, only to find a needle in my skin. I realized what it is and before I could stop it, those memories sprang back.

I was wet in sweat, my breathing became more erratic, the beeping of the machine sounded louder and faster. I tried to gasp and get a hold of myself, trying to capture some air, but the pain got even more intense. I closed my eyes and held my ears with my hands. Stop! Stop that noise. Get away! Get away! I don't want to be here. The pain is still with me; I winced with pain and wanted to yell. My head kept screaming, those pulse noise kept getting louder and louder and faster and faster. I felt suffocated. Help me! Help me! Somebody help me!

'MEGUMI!'

Everything stopped.

There was a voice, a very familiar voice. I could hear nothing but that voice. I had to see who made that voice. I had to, I had to.

'Megumi… it's okay… everything is alright.'

A sudden warm feeling came over me. The pain seemed to recede. I carefully open my eyes. There I saw him. The man whom that hopeful voice belonged to. His beautiful face turned to worry. He looked at me in a pitiful way that without my own will, tears came down. Crystal tears sprang from my eyes. I unconsciously let myself cry without knowing why. But the way he looked at me, the way he held my hand and said nice things reassured me. Suddenly I felt comfortable.

I smiled weakly at him, trying to stop these tears but it kept flowing. He then held me with his arms, embracing my body against his and then and there I felt peace. It is unbelievable how much at peace I felt with just one hug. I dug my head deeper into his shirt, sniffing his musky scent. It felt so perfect being held by his body, a jolt of warmth spread throughout, cleansing all the pain. I held him closer, clutching the back of his shirt more tightly. Why I am here, I do not know why? I astoundingly felt very frightened. But just his presence made me serene.

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Sano's POV

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I had been wondering all day whether our meeting had been a fateful one. When the doctor explained to me what happened, I felt more responsible for the whole event. The doctor kept clarifying everything that was wrong with the woman inside that white room. The doctor then exclaimed that if I hadn't brought her here in time, the circumstances might be worse than this.

I nodded to indicate to him that I understood what he said. Then he asked for her parents, and this I do not know. This news has surely surprised me, but I wasn't so sure that Megumi's parents should know about this, heck, I wasn't even sure she even told her parents about her implacable situation.

I went into the room after the doctor bid farewell and I stared at her lifeless figure, asleep within that clean and white linen. She looked so afraid when she woke up; I felt a pang of pity. It was a good thing she settled down and fell back asleep again.

I sat in the chair, leaning against the window, the bright evening light stretched into the room. The smell still wafted in the air. I knew that I had to tell her the news after she had awoken and felt more comfortable. She needed to know… but why does it have to be me who has to tell her?

I bent down and held my head with my hands. Today had been a misfortunate day. I believe it must be fate. I glanced at the woman before me. She looked so frail and white, I want to help her. She seemed so lonely, even the other day's incident, I still felt a deep feeling for her. Then again, I felt very much responsible, that I should be thankful or not.

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Megumi's POV

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I awoke to find Sanosuke, sleeping with his head against the window. He looked so fatigued. He must be… after he rescued me, no matter what I was now connected to him. I should be thankful. But if he knew something that I don't want him to know, then I would be in a very difficult position.

'So, you are awake?'

I was surprised at his voice. His head was still resting against the window, but his eyes were locked to mine. I breathed out in relieve. I felt a strange feeling drawn at just the sight of his figure. There was something captivating about him.

'Yes… I'm afraid so…'

Then there was silence. Wasn't he going to tell me what happened? I hoped he did not call my mom. Even if he did, she wouldn't be around. She would spend the night at her boyfriend's place. She wouldn't even care if I was here in the hospital.

'…tell me…' I started with a quite voice. I was frightened to hear what he had to say but I had to know.

Sano did not say anything at first but looked away and seemed very fascinated with the flowers that I only noticed now. There was a bouquet of roses on my desk and I desired to know who it was from.

'I don't want to be an intruder in your life.' He said slowly and quietly. The room's atmosphere became more intense.

'…tell me…' I said again.

Sano was silent; he seemed to not want this conversation. 'Tell me,' I said demandingly.

Sano closed his eyes and sighed deeply before explaining. 'The doctor said… there is something you are carrying… isn't it? There is another life inside of you.' I clutched my hands against the sheets. Sweat started to fall. Sano paused for a moment.

'Yes… continue?'

'That life inside of you… will no longer be growing…'

I felt a bolt of pain spread inside my chest that strikes me deep within my heart. There was ringing in my ears and I could feel a huge lump forming in my throat. '…what… do you mean…?' I barely whispered.

'You will no longer have a baby. If you do not remove it soon, your body will be contaminated.'

There it was, that fearful news that I had been waiting for. It just washed away all hope inside of me. I could feel the pain again in my stomach and I clasped my hands more tightly against the sheets. There was more than splinter in my heart. I thought I could bear the news but it was more that I could abide. I held my face down and wanted to reach for support. Tears began forming in my eyes. I tried to choke in the feeling. I almost wanted to burst. There was a huge knot forming inside my throat that I want to let go. I need to let go. I need to let go.

There it was… I cried. Hot tears ran down my cheeks faster than ever. A wave of fear and darkness began to flood my whole body. I felt more helpless than I could ever imagine. I was engulfed by the sudden news that it raked my body and I cried in pain.

I could see nothing, feel nothing. Not until Sano draped his arms around my body. He hugged me tightly and adhered to him for my dear life. I cried deeply within his shirt, shaking and quivering. I was lost. I felt terribly lost. I thought I could continue living with a new life that is borne. I thought that I could fix it. I thought I could amend all the things that have gone wrong in my life. Sano supported me. He held me close in his arms as my tears soaked his shirt.

I was lost… confused… alone…

… Abandoned…

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Kenshin'sPOV

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Later the next day I had a phone call from Sano. He explained what happened to Megumi and being the worrying person I am, I told Kaoru about this. She replied only by looking at me in horror. Without another word, we knew what to do. Immediately, she brought all the necessary things she could find and ride to her as fast as I can.

Kaoru didn't say much along the ride, but there had been some disturbing connections between the two. They both used to be best friends, but Megumi had made a slight traitor ship that ended up with both of them getting hurt. But whatever happened, Kaoru still worry about her and I know how she felt.

We neared the hospital and we ran as fast as we can. As we came towards the entrance door, there was not much more to say. Kaoru stood for a minute or two before she sighed and opened the door.

There she was, fallen asleep within that white linen. Her face looked so forlorn. There was a pained expression on her white and ashen face. There were dark bags around her eyes showing just how much distraught and troublesome burden she must be carrying.

Kaoru neared her, quite frightened at her own feelings. I myself regarded this situation, frankly, quite disturbing, but I don't want to see someone important to Kaoru look like this. Megumi handled her situation with bravery and pride which justified that she shouldn't go through this alone. She needed all the help she needed. And right now, the only person who is willing to help is Kaoru.

'Megumi,' Kaoru called quietly. Megumi didn't respond.

She then turned to Sano, 'so… how did she react?'

Sano looked down and sighed, 'Not so good. Even though she's not over it, yet she is trying so hard to keep it all in… I'm surprised she can live through with this…'

Kaoru nodded, 'Yes… but I wasn't even sure having the baby would be a good idea or not… at least now she isn't carrying any larger burden.'

'Yes, but she regarded that baby as a sign of hope,' I interrupted. Kaoru looked at me, I continued, 'she told me everything about it and I think you should know about it too.'

Kaoru walked slowly up to me and stared curiously and warily, 'what do you mean?'

'Well… that baby was conceived because she eloped with…' I stopped in mid sentence. I couldn't continue. Sano was looking at me curiously. There was something odd from his gaze. Kaoru was staring at me hard. I thought that she knew the answer even if I hadn't told her. She started to breathe quite loudly. Kaoru faced the ground and clutched her fist tightly. There was an eerie energy flowing through her and I couldn't help but stand back.

'Kenshin,' Kaoru said with a strange tone of voice, 'she told you? But she didn't tell me?'

'How could she when she knows your relationship with him?'

Kaoru didn't respond. She was shaking; her whole body is emitting a sign on uncertainty. I sighed and came up to her, only to drape my arms around her, circling her with security. She was crying silently and I knew how heartbreaking this is. It was all Yukimura's doing and I was holding back the urge to fight with him once more. He had done enough. First it was Kaoru, and then he would do that to her best friend.

'It's all… my fault,' Kaoru whispered against my shirt. I shushed her and held her more tightly, 'No, no, no. Don't ever think like that. It was never your fault in the beginning.' I said, trying to reassure her.

'It was…' Kaoru cried again, 'if I hadn't been so stupid I would've ended it right then and there. If I knew this was going to happen I would…'

'Shush… It is NOT your fault okay? It was never your fault.'

I tried to calm Kaoru down for the next five minutes. She was taking all of this as her fault. I never measured it in that perspective. Kaoru felt conscientious to be responsible. Finally, she recuperated herself and spoke quietly to Sano, 'so… when will she be having the operation?'

'The doctor said it should be around 6 in the evening. They have a long queue in the operating area. The doctor also needed to diagnose her symptoms again. They said that there might be some more damages but they will be facing the answer soon. They will tell us as soon as possible.'

Kaoru only nodded and looked back at Megumi. I gazed at Sano with a concerned expression. There was something odd about the way Sano is treating this state of condition. I was always aware at his weird behavior. He was staring at Megumi peculiarly too. There was an atypical gaze of apprehension and caring that he emanated every time he stared at her.

But I needed to talk to him. As Kaoru was busy with Megumi, I signaled Sano with my usual stare and he comprehended. I beckoned him with my usual gaze and he followed me out of the room.

'We have a sticky situation here.' Sano exclaimed once I shut the door. 'That man wants to be killed. He made two innocent human beings suffer. I cannot let this happen. I cannot.' Sano was punching me with those sentences and I wondered what made him so upset. I was sensing it had something to do with Megumi.

'So now you know how I feel,' I said. 'I don't know how Kaoru and Megumi are going to keep up. All I know is that Yukimura is willing to fight for her… just for the money cause.'

Sano was silent. 'You know the holidays would be pretty hard to administer. We have to be aware 24/7. Once the holiday starts we can keep an eye on those two.'

I smiled. I realized an idea that kept stirring in my head. 'You know what… why don't we all go for a break. You know, find some time to let it all out of the system. Let's venture out of this joint and make sure we have our clan waiting for us there.'

Sano was still. He was looking at me dubiously. 'So now you're thinking of heading back. I thought you said you were never going to touch our hometown again?'

I looked at Sano with inspiring eyes. 'Yes, but see we have a base there and we have our clan to cooperate with us. We can intertwine a contract with The Devil's Cry to get some back up. It would be better than the two of us together.'

'But Yukimura works alone.'

'Who knows who he works for? All I know is that he must have a connection with the police. Why else wouldn't Kaoru inform the police? Surely you know how fucking corrupted they are. The Devil's Cry is quite cooperative when it comes to law enforcement situations…' I paused. 'Besides… there is something that I need to do.'

Sano nodded in understanding. He knew my past and why I ran away. So what? Tomoe had run away and I wouldn't think she would ever come back into my life. My cowardice so called best friend would probably be very anxious if I don't meet him soon… and I still have to settle things with my parents.

I glanced at the door and took a peek through the glass window. Kaoru was holding her hands with Megumi. She was still asleep but she is glowing. It must be because of the comforting presence of Kaoru.

Kaoru and Megumi could come too. They can be protected by The Devil's Cry for as long as the holiday. They would help her settle things with Yukimura Kensuke. Of course they would… I was their leader. It is time to face my past.

Hm, well… Hm…

So tell me, just how ridiculous this story is… please tell me the truth. I like the whole idea with the vacation thing but quite frankly, I have lost track of time these people are in…

I recall there was summer… and I think now should be autumn… they do have autumn holidays right? Actually, I wanted this so called vacation in December when the snow would fall and exotic scenes would brilliance in the story.

Okay so I made some mistakes here and there so please tell me. I only had ten reviews and I was quite disappointed. But never fear, I will try my best to continue.

O, I made another story called irreplaceable to the heart, inspired by the manga 'wild acts,' but I never really continued with it. Then because I was soooo fascinated by chrono crusade and Naruto… I wanted to create a story on both these anime… ho ho ho… cheers people

Lots of love and happy Chinese New Year.

Gong Xi Fat Chai.