The Inuyasha Badfic Collection

Drugs, Booze, and Anvils

Cyrox

Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha. And I must admit that I do not like the Sesshomaru/Kagome couple, so I might be a little biased against it. But this is my take on how those two could even fall in love. And I don't mean to bash Kagome in this fanfic either.

It started out as an average day in the Feudal era. Higurashi Kagome was coming home after spending some time in her own era to work on a test. At the time, the others were fighting off some demons that were attacking the village near the well.

Kagome noticed the battle the second she got out of the well and ran toward her friends. But what she didn't know is that some guy left his anvil on a branch of the tree where she first met Inuyasha. And at that moment the anvil fell off the branch and hit Kagome right on the head. The others noticed it and where horrified.

"Kagome!" Shippo cried.

"Sango, you and Shippo check on Kagome," Inuyasha ordered.

Sango agreed and she and the young fox demon mounted Kirara. The three of them flew to where Kagome was to check on her.

"Kagome," Shippo cried, "are you all right?"

"I … I don't know," Kagome said as she was waking up.

"Why would somebody leave an anvil on a tree?" Sango wondered.

"Well we are in a stupid fanfic," Shippo explained.

"I know, but isn't that going a little overboard," Sango said.

"Maybe it's to make my act believable," Kagome said, "I have to act OOC throughout this fanfic."

"That's probably the most logical answer," Shippo said.

Once the last of the demons where slain, Inuyasha and Miroku ran over to Kagome.

"Are you all right Kagome?" Miroku asked.

"I think so," Kagome said.

"What kind of idiot would leave their anvil on top of a tree?" Inuyasha grumbled.

Everyone stared at him for the comment that he made.

"What?" Inuyasha asked.

"Inuyasha, shouldn't you be acting like a heartless jerk toward Kagome?" Miroku asked,

"Oh yeah," Inuyasha said, "but it's not like me to treat her like dirt."

"I know," Sango said, "but she won't be able to love someone else if you don't do that and see Kikyo."

"Kikyo has to come at night and I'm prepared for her," Inuyasha explained, "but this should solve my current problem."

Inuyasha took out a bottle of beer and drank it down quickly.

"Is that helping?" Miroku said.

"It sure is?" Inuyasha said.

Then Inuyasha turned to Kagome.

"What kind of idiot would let an anvil fall on their head?" Inuyasha demanded.

"Inuyasha sit!" Kagome shouted, causing the half-demon to fall to the ground.

Kagome walked off to pout and Sango followed her.

"Why does Inuyasha treat me like dirt all the time?" Kagome whined.

"You know that's not true Kagome," Sango said, "Inuyasha is rough around the edges, but he shows a lot of respect for you. He's only acting that way because he's been drinking."

"I know," Kagome said, "I think it's that bump on my head, it seems to be messing with my emotions."

"You're probably right," Sango said.

Night fell and everyone was sleeping, except for Inuyasha who was keeping watch. Kagome just randomly woke up in the middle of the night so she could see a very important plot twist. Kagome walked out of the hut and entered the woods. The second she entered, she saw Inuyasha kissing Kikyo. The half demon was holding an empty bottle of beer too.

"Do you love me Inuyasha?" Kikyo asked.

"I'll love you forever," Inuyasha said, "and I'll do anything for you right now because I'm drunk."

Kagome's heart broke into a thousand pieces at that point. Inuyasha turned around and noticed her.

"Kagome wait!" Inuyasha called out.

"Don't come any closer Inuyasha!" Kagome said as she started crying, "I've had enough of your excuses."

Kagome ran away from Inuyasha and over to the camp to get her stuff. The others had just woken up because they knew that it was time for Kagome to leave them.

"Where are you going Kagome?" Shippo asked.

"I'm running away," Kagome cried.

"But what about your family, your friends, your school," Shippo asked.

"I don't care," Kagome sobbed, "my only purpose in life is to fall in love with Inuyasha. But now that he's betrayed me, I want to leave everything forever and maybe even commit suicide."

Miroku, Sango, and Shippo watched as Kagome ran as fast as she could.

"She's being over dramatic," Miroku asked.

"Kagome has to act this way for these fanfics," Sango explained, "besides; I think she has a concussion too."

"Well an anvil fell on her head," Shippo reminded them.

Kagome continued to run as fast as she could. She despised Inuyasha now and didn't want to think about him again, despite the fact that she would probably accept his happiness anyway. But what she didn't know was that somebody was watching her.

"Why is she so sad," The mysterious figure thought, "and why is she all alone. But why am I thinking about her anyway? Must have been that pot I sniffed."

Then suddenly, a random demon popped out of the bushed right in front of Kagome. She wanted to do something, but due to plot reasons, she couldn't fight back. She just froze in fear while the demon continued to go after her. At that moment, the figure leaped out of the bushes and killed the demon. Kagome looked at the man who saved her, Sesshomaru.

Inuyasha returned to the others who were all waiting for him.

"She saw you with Kikyo?" Miroku asked.

"Yes," Inuyasha answered, "and has Kagome run off into the wilderness?"

"Yes," Miroku replied.

"I hope you're happy," Sango said, "Kagome ran away because of your two timing ways!"

"I know, I know," Inuyasha said, "and now you want me to get her back. Just wait until I listen too my conscience."

Inuyasha walked over to a tree and opened a bottle of beer.

"Don't you think you've had enough?" Shippo questioned.

"Yes," Inuyasha said, "But I have to make this fanfic believable."

"Why did you save me?" Kagome asked.

"I don't know," Sesshomaru said, "after seeing you running away crying, you interested me, or maybe it's because all of those drugs that I have been taking. But why isn't my brother with you."

"He betrayed me for Kikyo," Kagome whined.

"Personally, I don't care about Inuyasha's love life," Sesshomaru said, "but I can't believe he dumped you."

"I don't want to see him again," Kagome said.

"Well do you want to come to my castle?" Sesshomaru asked.

"Since when do you have a castle?" Kagome asked.

"It just randomly appeared for this fanfic." Sesshomaru said.

"Well I know it would be stupid to go with you because you don't like me and have tried to kill me," Kagome said, "but I will go with you because I don't feel like myself today."

Inuyasha just sat alone, continuing to drink beer.

"Kagome, why did you leave?" Inuyasha asked.

"She left you because you're a jerk. You only care about yourself and you treat her like dirt." A voice said.

"First of all, I care about others and I don't treat Kagome like dirt," Inuyasha snapped, "and who are you anyway."

"I'm your conscience," The voice said.

"This is what I get for drinking too much," Inuyasha said.

"Yes," The conscience said, "but I'm here to tell you that you're a jerk to Kagome and don't deserve her."

"That's just the way I act in SessKag's" Inuyasha said.

"I know, but I have to appear," The conscience rebuked.

Miroku, Sango, and Shippo were all listening in on Inuyasha's conversation.

"Well he's obviously drunk," Shippo remarked.

"It is the only way he can pull this off," Miroku said.

Sesshomaru took Kagome to his castle and Jaken was there waiting for him.

"Mi Lord!" Jaken said, "I'm very worried about you. I found all of these drugs that you have been taking. What is that human doing there? That's Inuyasha's wench. I think you've become very sick Mi Lord."

"Shut up Jaken!" Sesshomaru yelled, "Nobody cares about what you think."

"I know, you have to treat me like dirt because the fans don't like me," Jaken said.

"Yes," Sesshomaru said, "it is part of my OOC act."

"I'll inform you when Inuyasha comes," Jaken said.

The two of them entered the castle and Rin was there to greet them.

"Hi Lord Sesshomaru," Rin said, "who is this?"
"This wench will be staying with us for a while," Sesshomaru said.

"My name is Kagome!" Kagome shouted.

"Whatever," Sesshomaru said, "I need some hemp."

Sesshomaru left, leaving Kagome and Rin by themselves.

"Hi Kagome, my name's Rin," Rin said.

"Hi Rin," Kagome said.

"You look kind of sad," Rin observed.

"It's nothing," Kagome said.

"Ok," Rin said, "would you like to play with me?"

"Sure," Kagome said.

Kagome opened her bag and took out some games. Sesshomaru watched as she played with young Rin.

"She is sure making Rin happy," He thought, "and what am I thinking about. I think I need some more pot."

"So what do you think of Lord Sesshomaru, Miss Kagome," Rin asked.

"I never knew he could be so nice," Kagome said, "although he does seem a little rude."

"He may be rough around the edges," Rin said, "but he is very nice."

Kagome agreed with Rin, and maybe it was the bump on her head, but she started to like the demon.

To continue our rushed fanfic, Sesshomaru and Kagome were getting closer and closer, mainly because Kagome was still feeling the effects of that anvil and Sesshomaru continued popping pills.

In the meantime, Inuyasha was searching for Kagome, but the half-demon was having problems because he was drunk. But for plot purposes, it wasn't long before he found the castle. And the sight of Sesshomaru drove him to battle. The two of them unsheathed their swords and charged at each other. Kagome saw it and she figured that she had to put a stop to it.

"Inuyasha sit!" She shouted.

The half-demon fell to the ground, and naturally, he was enraged by it.

"What did you do that for?" Inuyasha demanded.

"I'm not going to let you hurt the man I love!" Kagome shouted.

"So you're siding with someone who has attacked us and even tried to kill you over a friend who has protected you?" Inuyasha asked.

"Yes," Kagome said, "you chose Kikyo over me. And as you know, my happiness in OOC fanfics is the only thing that matters, unless it's a Kagome bashing fanfic."

"I know," Inuyasha said, "so that leaves me to plan B. If I can't have you, I'm going to carry out Kikyo's wish and kill you."

At that point, Kikyo appeared and she was as drunk as Inuyasha was.

"I'm going to kill you my reincarnation," Kikyo said, "and I'm aware we don't hate each other, but I'm too drunk to realise that."

"I know," Kagome, "but I hate you right now because of my concussion."

The brothers charged at each other while Kagome and Kikyo aimed their bows. But at that point, Inuyasha and Kikyo passed out from drinking too much, Sesshomaru passed out from all the drugs he had been taking. During the "fight," Tokijin flew out of Sesshomaru's hands and hit Kagome on the head, causing her to pass out too.

All four of them woke up to see Jaken looking over them.

"Are you all ok?" He asked, "The four of you have been lying here for three days."

"I'm fine," Kagome said, "my head's feeling better."

"Mine isn't" Inuyasha said, "I think I have a hangover."

"I think I have one too," Kikyo said.

"I guess I'm ok," Sesshomaru.

"Well the fanfic's over now," Jaken said.

"But we never really ended it," Kikyo stated.

"Everyone knows what's going to happen," Sesshomaru said, "Kagome and I will defeat you and Inuyasha and the two of us will live happily ever after."

So Sesshomaru, Inuyasha, and Kikyo all checked into rehab, while Kagome recovered from the blow to her head. The moral of our story is; don't do drugs, don't drink too much alcohol, and don't leave anvils on places where they could fall on people. All those things can make you do stupid stuff.

And so ends another fanfic. Sorry if it felt rushed, but tune in next time when Kagome gets too many boys chasing her.