Chapter 3

"Sit…stay…don't eat my donut," Danny ordered Minnie, tying her leash to a support beam. Popping the pastry in his mouth, he went back to the breakfast table and poured himself a cup of coffee.

It had been four days since the dogs were dropped off. They were driving everyone nuts, and turning the house inside-out. He must have gone through at least a dozen vacuum bags.

Finally, they all decided that the dogs needed a new home sooner rather than later. Danny had been desperately searching for kennels, or people who would take them. They posted flyers that first day, but no one replied. Unable to take the madness anymore, Danny had arranged to use a segment of this morning's Wake Up San Francisco for some city-wide begging.

"So, how long did you have Minnie working on her saddest 'please adopt me' face last night?" Becky asked, coming up next to Danny at the table.

Chuckling, Danny answered, "I don't know about her, but I know I was in front of the mirror practicing my puppy-dog pout for at least an hour."

"I'm sure viewers won't be able to resist," Becky laughed.

Casting an anxious glance at the tied-up canine, Danny sighed. "I hope so. We really need to find homes for them soon. I woke up this morning to find 'presents' near the chimney, and they definitely weren't the kind Santa leaves."

"Danny, I'm sure there will be five families who are in the market for a Golden Retriever," Becky assured him. "In fact, you'll probably have to turn people away."

"Well, it's either that or Jesse's going to lock them all in Joey's room," Danny replied seriously.

Becky paused, as if thinking of an unpleasant memory. "I hear you. When we went on our date this week, all he could talk about was how one of the dogs messed up the arrangement of hair care products on his dresser."

Their conversation was interrupted by loud barking, and then to Danny's horror, what sounded like screaming. A quick look at the support beam confirmed his suspicion that Minnie had broken free of her leash and was now running around the studio.

What confused Danny the most was that he heard meowing. "Um, Becky, you wouldn't happen to know why there's cats on the set…would you?"

"Well, you know how management said he wanted to do a theme show one of these days?" Becky began with a nervous laugh. "When they heard that you wanted to bring Minnie on the show, they got the idea that it would be great to center one around pets."

"Oh no…" Danny moaned.

Becky put a comforting hand on his shoulder. "Oh yes. 'Kitty Tail' groomers comes on after Minnie."

"Will you excuse me for a minute?" Danny put down his coffee and ran towards the commotion. Once he arrived at the dressing room that had been put aside for the guests, Danny's heart sank down to his feet. "Oh my God…"

Minnie had caused chaos. The dog was chasing a black cat around the fairly large room, knocking over anything that happened to get in her way. A couple of other cats had their back up and were hissing at the intruder, refusing to be calmed by the two handlers.

Knowing that it was up to him, Danny threw himself in between the running dog and cat. "Minnie, sit!"

Minnie paused to look at him for a moment, then continued on with her chase.

"All right, that's it, no liver treats for you when we get home!" Danny shouted, making a dive for the foot of leash still attached to Minnie's collar. He managed to grasp the end and wrap it around his wrist. "Minnie, stop!"

With a sharp jerk, Danny finally got Minnie to halt in her tracks and sit. The petrified cat she had been chasing ran and hid under the couch.

"I am so sorry," Danny apologized to the shaken women handlers. "I tied her up, but…"

"Get that dog out of here!" One of the women shouted, ushering Danny and Minnie towards the door.

Danny flinched at the derisive tone she used when she said "dog." "I promise I'll pay for damages –"

"Out!" The other woman screamed, startling even the cats.

Backing away slowly, Danny eventually managed to get him and the dog into the hallway without any more shrieking. Glancing down at Minnie in aggravation, he moaned. "I guess I'll never have to wonder if Comet got his energy from his mother or father."

"Danny, where have you been?" Becky yelled from the talk show set, a few feet away. "We're starting in five minutes!"

"Coming!" Danny assured her. When he sat down in his chair, he commanded Minnie to sit.

Noting the way Minnie remained standing, Becky laughed, "I guess it's clear who wears the pants in this relationship."

"She was sitting before, honest!" Danny protested. "Minnie, sit! Sit, now! Sit! Sit…please?"

Getting great amusement from this, Becky shook her head. "Danny, I think Minnie's the one whose supposed to be trained to beg."

"Apparently she's having a hard time grasping that concept," Danny remarked. He gave up when the cameras started rolling.

"It's time to wake up, San Francisco!" Becky began in her usual bubbly tone. "I'm Rebecca Donaldson…"

"…and I'm Danny Tanner, and boy, have we got a great show for you today!" Danny finished.

Becky smiled at the camera, then turned to her co-host. "Well, Danny, I see you've got a furry friend over there, which is great because today's show is all about pets! Care to tell us about this cute canine?"

"I'd love to," Danny replied, cheering inside when Minnie finally sat. "This is Minnie, here to encourage the good people of San Francisco to welcome a pet into their home. In fact, if someone wants to adopt this dog, or any Golden Retriever, please call the number at the bottom of the screen!" Danny exclaimed, then held Minnie's paw. Aw, isn't she cute? Look at that adorable face!"

Stephanie grinned at her guest, holding the play tea pot above the plastic cup. "More tea, Miley?"

Her canine attendee barked in response, putting her paw on the table.

Taking that as a yes, Stephanie made a pouring motion. "Here you go, our best flavor – air! Though I must insist that you keep your elbows off the table." Miley brought her paw back down in response. "Good girl," Stephanie praised, giving the dog a treat from the box she had swiped from the kitchen.

She, Miley, the four other dogs, and her favorite stuffed animal Mr. Bear were seated in a circle on her bed. She kept Mr. Bear at her side, after learning fast that dogs loved to use teddy bears as chew toys.

"Comet!"

Stephanie glanced up as Michelle came running into the room, calling her pet's name. The four-year-old was holding one of her many stuffed animals, this one a pink rabbit. Its ears had the distinct marks of saliva and canine teeth. "Comet, you bad boy!"

"Michelle, bother us later. We're in the middle of a tea party," Stephanie huffed, continuing to "pour tea" for the other guests.

Michelle stomped over to the bed, holding the toy higher. "Doggy did this! Comet bad boy!"

"How do you know it was Comet?" Stephanie challenged, indicating the four identical dogs.

Tilting her head and making a frustrated face, Michelle replied, "I know my own doggy. Comet likes to chew on my stuff."

"Let's try an experiment, shall we?" Stephanie took hold of Mr. Bear and lowered him in front of the faces of every single Golden Retriever. And each one tried to grab it with his or her teeth. Wearing a smug smile, Stephanie asked her sister, "Looks like they all love stuffed animals. Are you sure it was Comet?"

Michelle wrinkled her brow in concentration, determined to prove Stephanie wrong. But since she couldn't read the name tags yet, she stalked out of the room. "This is nuts!