Chapter 5

May's Room

Having spent all day in her room she was greatefull to her father having removed her younger siblings who wanted to catch up with her. She heard all the comotion of dinner and was astounded how well Rosetta kept her ground against her more nosy brothers and sisters.

All the usual chaos was there, at least that haden't changed and the exquisite smell of her mother cooking was also as appealing as ever, but she craved for something else today.

Unusually for her today she existed outside her body as her mind rembered her past years of fun and joy. How she always as the oldest had to look out for them. Bullies never stood a chance against her and this courage rubbed of on her siblings as they grew older.

She also rembered the first time she heard that she would get a brother. At first childishly she didn't want anything to interfeer with the attention she was getting as a only child but as more and more brothers and sister came into her life she learned responsebilty and a new sense of joy from watching over them.

Her years altough not having any real good friends where still happy as her family was the only companionship she needed. Hearing the dinner end she heard Rosetta excusing herself and thanking for the generous meal.

She got off her bed and expected the redhead to come and see her, maybe exchange a few opinions. Seeing how today only at these late hours she really was focused she wanted to have her friend bring some good influence on her with her everpresent optimism and sometimes naive ways.

But seeing how she waited and waited she grew more distressed and hearing Rosetta close her room door made her frustration grow.

"Does hate me for having come here?" she tought.

At the hospital she displayed a great deal of care and compassion and from her she not just expected it to be returned, but craved for it.

However seeing her friend having avoided contact made her question whether yesterday's events had been rushed and forced.

This kind of thoughts combined with the loss of a family member weighed heavily and altough being a strong person on the outside, inside she was vulnerable and psichic wounds she always avoided.

Engaging in such deep companionship she stared thinking it too be shallow and still based on rivalry. She always kept other at a distance fearing she might get hurt, only revealing herself to someone she truly trusted, but now it seemed even her most closest friend had dissapointed her.

However she could try to forget the whole deal and move on, but the wound was too deep and she now was trapped in its pain. She knew however that despite her dissapointment she had her family to back her up, but she also hoped to get close enough to Rosetta as much as she could, effectivly making her family.

This plan however seemed meaningless now as over this small event she got more depressed. She loathed this feeling and externally drove it away, but at her core she was suffering and hated herself in such a state of weakness.

At other times she would work on herself to the point of oblivion to overcome such feeling of vulnerability, but it usually was an actual phisical weakness. Her innermost weakness however she could not manipulated trough any kind of training and as a result grew more and more sad.

Rosetta's Room

The redhead was a bit surprised as she fell into the soft bed. Being in such a energetic family was quite tiring.

May's mother probably had the patience of a saint and the energy of a sun, but she didn't.

The room didn't seem to have belonged to anyone in particular over the years. Altough many toys where distributed it was clearly a guest room and had always been.

Altough tired she was curious to look trough the various toys displayed here somehow to preserve the memory of all the childhoods that exist and had existed in this house.

Some where normal ones, dolls to rubber balls, but other unique ones she could only speculate how they would be used to initiate play. On a counter there was the highest concentration of playthings. All sorts of things quite creativly placed looking like a carefully figured out sculpture.

Rosetta felt compelled to pick one of those up, but feared to ruin the astetic value or even topple the whole thing.

However she changed her mind as beneath the whole mass of trinkets sparkled one black eye. She felt herself drawn to whatever that eye belonged to and gently and carefully removed it from the others without disturbing it.

She was surprised at what she saw. Out off all the toys this stuffed bear seemed to be the oldest as the once pure white animal was now rather worn.

Judging by the age it must have caught her eye because subconciously she concluded it to belong to the first born of the family, to May.

If there was any doubt of that fact it was erased when seeing that on one of its leg there was a tag. It probably had been sown on as in fine and quite lavish letter written with a red thread was the chineses name.

At first she wondered why one would need label ones toys, but seeing how there might have been competition between the children it seemed a pretty good idea.

This old bear spurred memories of her own stuffed animal that she had back at the room at the dormitories. It was similar in design but hers was rather curly and in a caramel color.

Despite its age May's teddybear was still smooth to the touch and the fabric altough darker was still preserved.

Just by looking at it she could somehow read the events it had been trough. It obviously had not been put trough rough playsession like the other toys.

This simple object seemed to bear secrets and studying it more intetly she slowly pieced together its importance.

May probably kept it somewhere safe in her childhood years. Probably before her brothers got big enough it was her main playmate.

Rosetta knew that May had a hard time warming up to others if she didn't consider them as equals or superiors. This bear however was probably the only exception to that rule.

Images of May and the toy filled her head, but not playfull ones. In her mind she saw something else. The small blackhaired girl at night would intently hug it for confort.

It might have been from this inanimate object that she drew the courage to face the early childhood fears from being alone or the darkness of the night. Also to this toy she must have confessed her feelings openly, talking to it when she was sure nobody would hear her.

Admitting her fears and anxieties and ,even tough never recieving an answer, feeling better afterward.

Even this humble little toy the redhead envied as she too wanted to recive such deeprouted feeling. Feeling the surface of the bear with her cheek she tried to see if she could feel any shed tears, but by now they were surely dry.

She set the stuffed toy down on a counter and layed herself in bed remebering how tired she was.

Fool had watched the whole scene and the kind of feeling he sensed where intriguing. He never suspected Rosetta out of all people to become so emotional. Maybe it was not because of her or that bear, but because of May. Atlough not knowing for sure everything the redhead figured was true. Odd how her friend caused her to develope and intuitive nature.

The next days where not at all diffrent.

May still refused to exit her room and was periodicly visited by her mother who did not want her daughter starving in her own house. As much as she enjoyed that every day she woke up with only one thought.

She hoped that Rosetta would finally come and see her, but she herself would not have initiated a meeting, as this had developed into somekind of test to show the true depth of Rosetta's loyalty.

May's parents knew their girl well enough to see trough her plan. It ached their heart to see her wake up full of hope that this day would be the day and then at night see her get even more depressed and fall troubled to sleep.

They however also understood the redheads fearfull actions, but this hesitation was hurting their precious girl and they would not could no longer stand it.

Altough more subtle then May to show their displeasure they became somewhat colder towards their guest and put little to no effort to understand her. Rosetta saw their gradual change but still had no idea what it was she was doing wrong.

She respected them and put up with their childrens tiring games, but what was it they didn't like about her?

Rosetta's Room

In the last couple of days the redheads dreams of living in a genuine family had been shattered. Altough the younger children didn't know better and indulged in long hours of tease and play with her, the true people she needed to impress remained cold as ice.

"They really hate me. May won't get out of her room, so she clearly hates me now too."

She didn't know how much longer she could keep up with this and started to think of departing, but had she already forgotten the reason of her visit? It seemed so.

Desperatly she tried for the last days to understand them, to slowly win them over. This rather indirect approach was way out of character, but her intuition told her that she shouldn't rush things. But what she thought to be her intuition where deeprouted fears and avoiding a direct approach she at least avoided being rejected.

"How can I fit in here?" she pondered into the late hours of the night. "I want them to accept me, but why won't they?"

These two thoughts walsed in her head continuosly only realizing after some time where her mind was focused. She again had forgotten her true goal.

"What kind of friend am I? May is the one suffering and I am the one complaining."

She got up, the hatred she felt for herself made her uncapable of sleeping. "No wonder they hate me."

Right now she would have stormed into May's room and lay everything in the open, but the hour was not right for such a confession. But as she waited and waited morning seemed to run away from her as by midnight she had had enough.

Still however she was reluctant to wake her friend and decided to somehow get her mind off things.

"I came here to support May and what have I been doing? Running away like some coward. At least now that they hate me I can apologize and leave before doing any further harm."

Indeed the damage was deep and only thinking how her friend must have felt filled her with an incredible sorrow. She needed to get this out right now in any way she could. Whilst words could not be spoken now there was another way to express herself, one she had know and practiced since childhood.

Outside the house

Roestta sought to do something with this strong feeling and if there was something that could keep her occupied she would not hesistate to do so.

Training was the on thing she could momentarily do seeing as she didn't want to wake her friend. In the back of the house she saw the one thing she had not approached during her stay.

The colorfull contraption which was more twisted sculpture then structure was the one thing that could substitute as a platform for her excercises.

If she had with her her diabolos she would have used them, but she had to admit it was not just the lack of choice that drove her here. It was the cool of the night and the tranquility.

Here she hoped she would not be disturbed and so she started training. Mainly she used the row of parralell bars to balance on them and jump from one to the other using only her hand.

Her phisical condition had not weakened in the last week. Having six bundles of energy constantly trying to play with her was quite a work out, special training other would have called it.

Now back relying on the skills she had learned troughout the years she felt a bit rough around the edges. It was not due to her body but more to her mind.

Rosetta admitted that in the last couple of days she almoast completly forgot about the stage and was exploring the in's and out's of family living. However she could still see Fool .So far however she still felt like and outsider and resigned herself to leaving it so. She blew her chance and now wanted to apologize and then leave.

Unlike the redhead wanted training did not get her mind of things, it actually made her contemplate even more.

However the sickening heat and the revulsion she felt for herself was somewhat silenced by the cold night air. At night one would think the forest to be active full of unseen creatures, but there was nothing, just this silence only broken by some frog in the distance or the occasional owl.

Several hours pass but Rosetta didn't notice, this hate she felt for herself occupied her mind so much she wasn't aware she was tired.

However as she missed a bar and fell to the ground she was somewhat brought back to reality.

But just as quickly as she fell she got up again. If Sora would have been here she surly would have suggested to stop seeing that fatigue started to affect her and she might have gotten injured.

The almoast full moon was lighting enough and at four in the morning she still was up on te bars balancing and propelling herself solely by her right arm. Unbeknownst to her for the last minutes someone had been watching her.

It was May's mother who had been awakened by thirst but stopped seeing the redhead practice on her childrens playground. She found it quite creative how the structure was adapted to a practicing device and noted the girls incredible strength.

"May can do that too?" she asked herself. She had found out about the training from Rosetta but never imagined such a result.

But her amazement didn't last as she saw Rosetta fall yet again. Now she saw that the girl was genuinly troubled. In the last days she thought the girl to simply be not as close to her daughter as she thought but now she saw that there was uncertainty which she interpreted as a loose bond.

If they would not clear it up the elder woman considered it would completly break there bond, so there was only one thing she could do. Rosetta fell quite often in the last couple of minutes but not once did she vocally express the pain of the fall as in her heart there was a much greater pain.

She got up again and almoast imediatly gained stability on her arm but this time before jumping a soft female voice interrupted her.

'A fall into a ditch makes you wiser.' Rosetta at first didn't recognize the shadowy figure but as the woman came in the light she recognized her instantly, it was May's mother.

The redhead gave the elder woman a confused look as she didn't understand her words. The darkblue haired woman looked amuzed at the girl on top of the playstructure and was impressed how long she could maintan her position.

'It's an chinese proverb. 'she said then adding. 'Strangly enought you fall time and time again but come out none the wiser.'

Rosetta hearing her felt a bit challenged but somehow knew she was right. Looking away from the woman she resumed her training however stopping shortly finding as she might as well start her apologiese now.

'I am sorry for what I have done. In this morning I, after I apologise to May, will leave and trouble you and your family no more.'

The chinese parent looked at the girl quite intrigued. She had figured out the problem and was determined to clear things up, altough this would clear up by normal values the harm she had done it still wouldn't heal the injuries.

'And after that will you be happy? will May be happy?'

Rosetta had lost balance and was not hanging from the bar intrigued by the mother's words.

"Am I really that self-centred? Clearing things will erase some of the pain, but running away will deepen it for May. Did I not come for her in the first place?"

'I can not see how I could solve things without leaving. It will make things worse if I stay.'

The chinese woman put on an annoyed smile.

'You haven't even tried hard enough. If you truly are May's friend you would see there is an obvious way to save what is left of your friendship.'

Rosetta now let go of the bar and looked into the ground. She was struck how closedminded she could be.

'You are right I am not May's friend.' she said with a sad voice.

May's mother turned around seeing that this girl didn't see the way out.

'But I want to become.' she then added leaving the woman to turn a bit surprised and relived that she had started seeing the other possibilty.

'And not just hers but yours and your whole families I intend to become.'

This surprised the elderly chinese as she heard the strong determination, which however changed as the redhead contiued.

'But I don't know how.' Openly admitting to be clueless was the first step towards recovery and the woman saw that she just needed a small hint.

'Let me tell you about when May was a little girl. She was usually quite a content child but who when hurt by other would never show it. Even I saddened her sometimes, but there is an easy way to make it up to her.'

The redhaired girl's attention was undivided as she asked.

'How?'

The eager and desprate look was not missed by the elderly woman.

'Another chinese proverb sais 'Forget injuries, never forget kindnesses.'

This rather simple saying was all that the redhead needed to know as she saw that May as dissapointed as she was would always forgive if one was kind to her, however only if the compassion was genuine. There was no more doubt left in Rosetta's head as she now saw fully how to redeem herself.

They where not insightfull words, but to the redhead it was a revelation as not she knew what to do.

'Thank you.' she finally said leaving the elder woman pleased seeing how she saved someone who wanted to become May's close friend.

This kind of care is what her girl needed and it was something she had never been doing as much as she tried. Rosetta continued her training and the chinese left for what was left of her sleep.

May's Room

The sun did but bearly penetrate the closed curtains and nothing but early birds could be heard outside. In the room there was silence however. May slowly opened her eyes staring out the window.

"That's odd." she thought as for the last couple of days she would have been awakened by her mother.

Seemingly she was getting more restless, but no one could blame her. She had lost what she thought to be one of her closest friends. The chinese never had been one to handle abandonment very well and altough not alone she still was sad over what happened.

"Maybe I should go talk to Rosetta."

What was the use prolonging this test as the redhead seemed obviously not to share the deep interest she was looking for in a friend.

However she was not one to rush, not today at least. In her own time she would get up and settle this but now she just wanted to get fully awake.

It was odd for her to wake up like that. Nothing had disturbed her and she couldn't recall having nightmares. However still with her stare locked into the ceiling she felt something.

This peculiar sensation that somehow she felt something on her.

She tilted her head towards the door and for the first times in days was surprised.

The intense red hair and the shining seagreen eyes. 'Rosetta.' she silently said.

At first she had not recognized her so-called friend. Just a few days witout any interaction made the image of the girl get more and more blurry.

But now that image was refreshed as before her lay what she thought about until now. It seemed to make sense why she had so unusually woken up this morning.

A myth stated that by looking at someone in their sleep one could awaken that person. It originated from petowners who woke up having their animal companion stare at them.

May always found this tale absurd but now it seemed to only sensible explanation. In her sleep she must have sensed the girl entering the room.

Maybe they where silent sounds or the fragrence of the redheadded girl but it didn't matter.

For now a wave of relief struck her as she finally layed eyes on Rosetta again. Just this simple sight fully awakened her and erased all the gloom she had acumulated.

However it did not last long as her mind tried to make out what was behind her sudden appearence.

Regret was visbly in the seagreen eyes.

"Why is she here?"

Having craved for Rosetta's companionship a week now having her here she didn't know how to handle it.

The redhead saw her friends intrigued expression.

"Swim or sink, fly or die." where her last thoughts as the next moment could either crush her or relive her. There was nothing inbetween. She stood up .This time however there was no hesitation as she spoke up with in calm soothing voice.

'May I am sorry for what I have done.'

The chinese could barly make a sound as she didn't know if these words should make her feel better or justify her suffering, but seeing her friend filled with sorrow made her feel as if it was her fault.

'And I'll leave if that is what you want.'

These words now pertrified her as loosing her friend was one of the things she could never bare seeing. However in this state of shock she couldn't put any words together, only a slight bable that was not even audieble.

In her mind however she yelled out her frustration.

"Don't go!" "Please stay!" but after so many days apart she could not bring herself to express herself. It looked hopeless and just as May started to desperatly tried to say something the redhead slumped in front of her.

The eyes that had now just been full of sadness changed, now Rosetta saw that she could never accept having their friendship end and the tears that slowly came from her were testimony to their feelings.

May at first thought that her friend was resigned to what she did but the surrendered look changed to a whole new one, one she had never met before. Now those eyes cried out to be accept the apology they bore.

'But I don't want to leave.' she said looking at her friend then turning her sight into the ground expecting the verdict. In just three simple sentences May had been completly changed and forget how sad she had been in the last days.

She sighed in relief internally and those apologetic eyes was something she altough having good motives could not refuse.

The choice was up to her. Forget the pain and move on, or return the cruel way she had been treated. For May however it was not open for choice.

Rosetta felt as she awaited beeing sentenced to death and knew just how selfish her actions where, confessing her mistakes where only half of the solution. She felt as her whole body became numb and cold, as she was focusing on hearing what her friend had to say.

On the verge of acceptance or damnation she felt herself unable to cope locked on this edge and whatever the outcome she would accept it fully.

As the moment prolonged itself, the hesitation was a sign to Rosetta that her friend had chosen, not talking to her it was obvious this is where they parted.

She slowly got up resigned to the choice of her speechless friend, but midway on her feet she felt as a strange warmth graced her cold skin. It was so fast that one moment she was alone and cold and in the next one found herself in the chinese arms feeling both phisical and spiritual warmth. May had effectlivly grabbed and pulled her friend towards her, seeing her wanting to walk away made the words she was desperatly trying to think up futile. However in this crucial moment she found an alternative and embraced her younger friend.

She felt how lifeless this smaller frame was too the touch but as her caring warmth flowed to her friend she felt how both had ignited as they finally realized how stupidly they had dilated their bond.

Now May realized what is what she needed, what both needed.

"How could it have gotten so far?" both thought but this new wave of care erased all their previous dissapointment and insecurity. May's mother was right. One should always forget injuries, but kindness one should never forget.

Again both at the edge of their awarness felt this odd tingle as they beheld themselves in a vulnerable state, but now they realized that together they would stand strong.

That morning May left her room and joined her family for breakfest. Altough the seatingetiquette was still uphold Rosetta didn't mind sitting that far away from her friend.

She still felt a bit left out, but the content smile she got from May's parents and the happy chinese was more then enough to keep her happy as well. The smaller siblings asked all manner of questions.

Unlike the older members present they did not at all get the mental struggle which almoast would have ended badly. Whether she was sick or whether she had slept all the week May's brothers and sister asked.

Their older sibling saw the curios imaginative eyes and wanted to spur their imagination a bit more.

'I was in a far away land battling a fierce dragon. After three days of combat I finally slayed the beast.' ended the chinese adding. 'With a little help.'

The children where to young to understand the true meaning of the sentence but where proud to have their sister fight a dragon.

Rosetta at first didn't know how to react to such a hidden compliment. Altough the younger ones have been told a ludacris tale somehow as in all fairytales there was a essence of truth, for the fierce dragon May had slayed with her help were both girls insecurities. Now vanquished there would be nothing that together they could not defeat.

Now for the first time did May's parents realise just how much this redheadded girl meant to their daughter, as with her their girl laughed and expressed herself freely.

That kind of behavior they thought to be lost since May told them she wanted to act more mature, but locking it up for so many years made this sudden outburst even more enjoyable. Both elders where happy and knew just how strong their bond now was.

They also knew that this was probably May's first real and solid friendship with anyone besides her family. In her childhood years she never complained not having real friends but they saw that she felt alone.

Both could remeber how they unbeknownst to their child had seen her talking to her precious teddybear at night.

But as much as they tried they could never fully substitue as friends, but now it seemed that in the last years where she was absent from the household this little redhead had filled in and recovered what she lost as a child. And now with them tightlyknit as they where regarded the guest with reverence and mentally thanked her.

The rest of the days May and Rosetta were insperable. They talked laughed and argued continously as if they had seen eachother in years, but after all that happened it wasn't as ridiculous as it sounded.

This day had become incredibly enjoyable for all as this family was now back up to its old strength, but with this newfound family friend had grown even stronger. This happy event was not just welcomed but also a stroke of good fortune as in two days the whole family would attend the funeral.

In May's room the two didn't stop talking even in the late hours. They enjoyed eachother company so much that they would not allow time to slow them down. Hearing however how in two day's both would have to face what they came here for reminded May of something.

'I want you to see something.'

The chinese went trough and old drawer and finally got out thing booklet. It had just two pages in it.

'Read and tell me what you think.'

Rosetta took the small book and read it. Inside there were three peoms. She was quick to read but a bit reluctant to ask.

'What do you intend to do with them?' May answered, it brought her mood down a bit, but she needed an opinion.

'I would really like to read them at the funeral. Grandmother gave them to me in the case she would leave us one day. At the time I told her that was plain ridiculous, that she would never leave us. She then told me 'Yeah your right.' but made me promise I would keep them. So I did. Do you think I should read them?'

Rosetta looked at her friend seeing how she doubted her actions.

'Of course you should, I think you would pay her great respects.'

That was what May so desperalty needed, full support. She quickly ran out of the room to ask her mother permission. The elder woman had nothing against it, she also found it a good idea. Returning to her room the two reveled in their victory.

Another good hours into the night and the two where still talking feverously, however the younger siblings interrupted them wanting to get some shuteye. Neither had noticed the passage of time, but didn't want to keep everybody awake.

"Tomorrow is another day." both thought as Rosetta left for her room which was opposed to May's. Now it seemed they felt a familiar feeling. Something that only the show's gave them. Both now would always have another thing to look forward to the next day, eachother.