I'm starting to think I might have to build a bomb shelter for Sodapop and Sandy before this story is over :-P

Maybe I should clarify something... Sodapop's obligation is more to Marie than to Sandy. And don't worry, he wouldn't let Ponyboy be abused if he thought it was happening... trouble is, he doesn't believe it.

Another note... most of the songs that Naomi sings will be lyrics that I've made up, but the one in this chapter isn't.

This chapter will start to sort things out.

If I had learned anything from my encounter that day, it was that Sodapop couldn't handle stress.

I had to manage to slide back into his life, and then once I was on the inside, I could get between him and Sandy, and pry them apart. It was perfect.

Good Lord, I was starting to act like Ashley.I was plotting.

And I knew the perfect way, too. I'd get in through Ponyboy.I wasn't using him, God no, but I knew he'd need someone, and I'd rather it be me than someone else. It had to be someone who would try and get Sodapop and Sandy apart, and anyone other than me would feel bad doing it. I was doing it for me, Ponyboy, and Sodapop. That' what I kept telling myself.

I drove my mom's car to their house... she was gone for a bit, and so I didn't ask. I figured she owed me. Right now, I was only trying to let Pony vent for a bit. This was a visit solely for his purpose.

"Hey, Pony, thank God you opened the door," I said, sighing, "I was just heading over to record my first track. Do you want to come and see how it works?"

"Sure," He said, smiling, "The witch is in the other room, so we have to be-"

"Quiet?" She asked, coming and leaning against the doorway.

"I'm leaving now." He said firmly, stepping outside.

"Wait, Pony, I don't think you can do that." She said, crossing her arms.

"You can't tell me what to do."

"Pony, as a parent figure in this house-"

"You're the last person I'd consider a parent."

"He's coming with me," I spoke up, "I'm not letting a sweet kid like him stay all day in a house with someone who hits him."

Her mouth gaped, and I pulled Pony outside.

"Thanks," he said, grinning, "She didn't see that coming. But don't get the wrong idea... she didn't even hurt me when she hit me, I provoked her, and I kept trying to get her mad afterwards."

"Pony, answer me honestly." I turned to him before turning on the car, "Would you be happier if Sandy and Sodapop weren't together?"

"Yes. Definately. She's using him, and Soda's not happy. He'd never say, but he really prefers you over Sandy.I know he does."

"We have to get a paternity test."

"I know. But... remember how you and I sort of worked together to keep Ashley away from Sodapop?"

His eyes lit up, and I knew we had an agreement.

The recording experience was really unique. And Pony seemed to love it. I told the workers ahead of time that I was bringing in someone who was having some problems at home, and I never thought that the bruise might add to the effect. They all really took to him, letting him press certain buttons.

"So, you just do your thing, Naomi, and we'll record it," joked Jim, the head hancho, "You have your song?"

"Yep. I wrote it in January, actually."

"Let's go to it, then."

I watched a tiny red light click on. I could only assume that it meant for me to sing.

"I'm so scared that the way that I feel
Is written all over my face
When you walk into the room
I wanna find a hiding place
We used to laugh
We used to hug
The way that all friends do
But now a smile and a touch of your hand
Just makes me come unglued-"

"Alright," Jim began, and continued to talk to his people about things they could do that I didn't understand at all. Really, the only thing I could concentrate on was Ponyboy's facial expression. He was smirking at me, one eyebrow slightly raised.

Maybe that's what I get for inviting him to come to a recording session, where most of the songs I'm planning on recording were written under the influence of frustration over his brother.

Just maybe.

"Okay, sing the next part, but the mics might need another go at the first three lines. We'll cross that bridge when we come to it, alright? Or just when we can be arsed to do it. And three, two," He pointed at me, and the little light came on again.

"Such a contradiction
Do I lie or tell the truth
Is it fact or fiction
Oh the way I feel for you,"

"And we'll do the first bit again."

Such went the next hour or more. My fingers were starting to feel hot and burning from playing the guitar, and I'd never sung that much in that long a time space.

"Okay, we'll finish up for today. It's the chorus next, right?"

"Yeah."

"Three, two-"

The light came on once again, and I sang despite how hoarse I was feeling.

"It's so complicated, It's so frustrating
I wanna hold you close, I wanna push you away
I wanna make you go, I wanna make you stay
Should I say it, Should I tell you how I feel?
Oh I want you to know, But then I don't
It's so complicated "

"Pretty good. Promising girl, you are. We'll pick up from here next day. How does Tuesday sound?"

"Great. Let's go, Pony."

On the way home, it was silent, until Ponyboy commented, "Nice song."

"Oh, shut up-"

"I'm serious. You wrote that for Sodapop, didn't you?"

"I- yeah. Whenever things were really awkward because of Ashley, and... stuff."

"I get it. You know, he'd find it really hard to stay with Sandy if he heard that song."

"I know. But... I mean, it'sa marriage. Sure it's cheap love, if even, and it's only based on hope that's long since dead. But it's marriage, and I don't know if I want it on my mind that I broke one up. And with a child? Even if she's not Sodapop's daughter, I mean, it's not her fault. She shouldn't be denied a father figurejust because her mother was a cheating whore." I spat the last two words, and and turned off the car.

"I know, but... you'll regret everything,"

"Oh, man, Pony... I already do."

It was silent the rest of the ride, until we got to the house. Pony got out of the car, and sodid I. He raised an eyebrow at me.

"What-"

"I need to talk to your brother. It's important."

He shrugged and called for Sodapop. He was downstairs in a matter of seconds, and still looked genuinely scared when he saw me.

I still couldn't blame him.

"I need to talk to you. Now."

He didn't argue. Once the door was closed, I began speaking before he could.

"Today I took Ponyboy to see how a record is made. I'm going to come every now and again to take him places, because he needs to get out of here."

"What? Why?"

"Your bitch is hitting him." I snarled, then realized how offensive that was. Oh, well. Too late.

"Naomi, don't talk like that-"

"I don't know if you heard me right. That woman in there is physically harming your own flesh and blood."

"How do you know?"

"He told me. God, he's told me everything. He'd be happier if you two weren't married, he's not getting along with Sandy, and he's been making excuses for the bitch!"

"I'll talk to him, alright?"

"Is talking going to take the swelling down?"

"Naomi, I know I have a responsibility to him, but I have a responsibility to Marie too, which won't be so easy if I'm not on speaking terms with her mother!"

"Emilie's parents are divorced, and they have joint custody. You don't have to be married to the goddamn woman!"

"Naomi, listen to me! If I left Sandy for you, she wouldn't have anything to do with me!"

I set my jaw for a second, and raised an eyebrow.

"I never said anything about me. This is about your little brother."

"I thought... I don't know..."

"Busted." I smirked, and he smiled, and there was a light moment for a second.

But only for a second.

"But you'll give everything up to stay in contact with that witch!"

"Naomi, Marie can't have parents who aren't on speaking terms! It doesn't work!"

"Oh, so it's better if you're married! Kids don't just want their parents on speaking terms, they want them onfucking terms as well!"

"Naomi!"

"I'm sorry, that just slipped out. I couldn't control that, I'm sorry..."

"Well, you have the right of free speech-"

"Oh, I know, it's just a fact I'd rather ignore. God, why can't we talk without having an arguement?"

"Because... I'm married to the wicked witch of the west?"

"That... that might have something to do with it."

"Probably. I don't know how things are going to play out. I mean, it doesn't matter who I choose... if I'd waited for you, if I'd married Sandy, if I'd married someone else, the fact would remain that in a way, I'd always love you and Sandy both."

"I guess... but Soda?"

"Yeah?"

"Why didn't you wait?"

Maybe it was the topic, maybe it was the desperation of the question, but it hung in the air for a second.

"I would have waited. I wrote you a letter, asking if you wanted me to wait. And I would have. I said if you wrote back and wanted me to wait, I'd wait, but if you didn't want me to, not to write back. You never got the letter, and never wrote back. So I assumed you didn't want to me to wait, but I would have waited fifty years or more if you'd asked me to."

"My mother wanted me to pursue a dream she'd made for me," I remarked bitterly, almost to myself, "So she ruined everything else for me. Dammit, I almost hate my own mother..."

"It's too late now, I think," he said, frowning, "I have a daughter. I can't leave her."

"She can't be yours. I'm sorry, it's what I believe, and I believe she can't be yours."

"People will believe anything." He kissed my temple, and went inside.

I was frustrated, heart broken, angry, sad, happy, head over heels in love, confused, determined, hoarse, numb and tired. And I decided to do what I did anytime I had a problem.

I decided to call around my friends and complain.

"Sandy?"

Shelooked up fromher book at the sound ofher name.

"Yeah?"

"How did Ponyboy bruise his cheek?"

"He got in a fight. I saw him."

"Really? Because he says different. And so does Naomi."

"What do they say?"

"Please, Sandy, don't play dumb. Why did you hit him?"

"He was calling me thingsI wouldn't think you'd allow your brother to call your wife."

"Well, my wife did something I wouldn't allow to my brother."

"You believe him and that little tramp over me?"

"Don't call her that."

"And what did she call me? Your bitch?"

"You were listening?"

"Don't I have the right to?"

"No," he said slowly, "No, you don't. Never touch my brother again, do you hear me? Never. And don't call Naomi a tramp, at least she'd never lied to me."

"Hasn't she?"

"Maybe she has, but not the way you have."

That hung in the air, andshe pouted prettily.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean it. Can you forgive a poor little girl her mistake?"

"I don't... alright." He sighed, little to Sandy's knowledge, he was thinking of Marie, "Alright."

"I love you," She said, burying her face in the fabric of his shirt.

"I love you too." Sandy worried at the fact that he sounded quite monotonous.

"Are you coming to bed?"

"No, I think I'll sleep on the couch tonight."

"You've slept there since we got married."

"I guess it's a habit, then."

"Well, can I intrude on your habit?" She said seductively, smirking. Sodapop sighed.

"No, Sandy, I don't think so."

"When we were dating, you used to be pretty damn frisky!"

"Maybe it's because the last time we actually did anything, you got pregnant!"

"My God, we're married! It's what married couples do!"

"I guess we're an exception, then."

"I spent my entire wedding night alone! And every night since then!"

"Shame."

"You bastard!"

He closed the door calmly on her flying shoe, and breathed deeply.

Think of Marie.
Think of Marie.
Think of Marie.
Think of Marie.

Don't think about Sandy... don't think about Naomi...

Think of Marie...

That was all that got him by.