Would've updated sooner, but FFN was being screwy.

Ever had that feeling that you've rushed a story and then you get writer's block? Yeah.

Just on an off topic thing... if you ever get an opprotunity, listen toa song by 'The Arrogant Worms' because they're HILARIOUS.

I wish I could tell you that things cleared up. But if I did that, I'd be lying, which had become, to me, the worst thing someone could do, because it was really a lie that had made everything as bad as it was now.

The next few months went by slowly. You hear people saying that in the month's they've spent without their love they've been numb, and it just flew by. But I guess either that's another sickening lie, or I wasn't one of the lucky ones. Everything went by slow, and painfully.

I saw Sodapop and Sandy sometimes. I'd go to the park and play my acoustic guitar beneath a tree, not busking, just enjoying it. There were other people doing it, but I hardly associated with them for a little while. They freaked me out a little, at first, but they were real mellow people. They were flower children- hippies- and they were possibly the nicest people I'd ever met. They accepted me real easy, but I didn't always go with them, lest my mom drive by. I didn't really feel like getting kicked out of my own house right yet. But there was one girl - she told me her name was Star, and I really didn't know if it was or not - who had just barely started to consider herself a hippie, and she hadn't grown her hair out or anything yet, so I let my Mom see me with her.

But sometimes I'd be playing with my new 'friends' and Sodapop and Sandy would walk by with Marie. She was getting to be very pretty. Her hair was coming in puffy and blonde, and her eyes were clear and blue. She looked just like Sandy. On these trips, Soda would blatantly stare at me. I guess it was worrying him to see me hanging out with a bunch of people known for doing drugs. That would be pretty scary for someone, I can imagine the guilt if he thought I got into drugs...

Good.

I still picked up Ponyboy and took him to the studio with me, and I'd recorded seven songs already. I was only recording eight, and the guys promised that I could have the record out by March.

Anything of significance after that July afternoon where I confronted Sodapop and told him to make his choice didn't happen until September 5th. I entered grade twelve, and my teachers were talking to me about a career choice, and I realized how I didn't know what my career was going to be anymore, after I left LAPA. I had been pretty much guaranteed a future in operatic singing, because I had an obvious advantage over others in the category. I'm not showing off, I'm just telling it like it is. But I wasn't as sure about this new genre of music I was doing. It seemed like rock, but was almost country sometimes. So my teacher told me to think about it, and talk to her later.

Then, nothing happened again until September 20th. Sodapop called me and asked me to come to his house so he could speak to me and Sandy. I was shaking the entire way there. Upon arrival, I was bitter to see that Sandy looked as pretty as ever. She had her hair pulled into a perfect little ponytail, and donned a baby blue sundress.

My God, she looked like a barbie.

"Look, you two, I don't know how this happened-"

"I do."

"-But you both know how messed up everything is-"

"Really, I hadn't noticed."

"-and I have to make a choice. You can argue that I didmake it once, alright, I deserve that, but it wasn't fair the first time. I have to make it again, when I have my priorities sorted out-"

"God knows that doesn't happen very often."

"-Naomi, could you please..."

"Sorry. I'll stop now."

"Thank you. You both need to understand... either way I choose, I'll still love the other, in a way. I'm probably always going to love you both, in a way. But it's different, andI have to choose one."

"Alright."

"Alright."

"Good."

"So... I'll just... leave now..."

Naturally, the first place I went was to the park with my guitar. I felt like playing, and decided to play the first song I'd ever written.

"I didn't cry when I could... do you hear me, do you think I should... because it doesn't feel right..."

"That's pretty." I looked up to see Star join me, "Who's is it?"

"Mine. I wrote it last January, for my grandfather... he died a year before."

"Really? I don't think I've ever wrote anything like that. I've written plenty anti-war songs, and stuff... but I've never lost someone in my family, so I wouldn't know. I'm sorry about your grandfather."

"Star... tell me about your family. You never talk about them."

"Oh...well, my Mom's name is Tabitha. I look alot like her, except my eyes are greener. My dad's name is John, and he works on a farm south of Tulsa. He's only home a few times a week. I have a little sister, named Christine. She looks like me and my mom... she's seven. I miss her alot, but as long as I'm living like this, I'm not allowed to associate with them."

"So... you prefer this to your family?"

"It was a hard choice. But if I had to live a way that I didn't want, I'd be making my family suffer without meaning to. So... I left."

"My mom tried to force me to make a kind of music that I didn't want to, and the problems with Sodapop and Sandy are all because of it. I'd give anything to have your family."

"Speaking of Sodapop and Sandy... how's everything going?"

"Soda just made the announcement that he's choosing."

"When?"

"After my birthday, I hope. It's on the 11th."

"October?"

"Yep."

"Cool... I'm going to leave, now... good luck, okay?"

"Alright."

I couldn't help but notice that she left a strange odour in the air... smelled like... marijuana. Yeah, that didn't surprise me.

"Naomi!"

"Upstairs."

"Naomi, get down here!"

"Still upstairs."

I could hear her footsteps coming angrily towards my room, butI figured that she couldn't be any angrier at me then she already was.

"Naomi Alexandra Sterling, that Star girl... do you know what I saw her doing today?"

"Uh... smoking grass?" I offered with a sweet smile.

"Exactly! Do you have anything to say for yourself?"

"Uh... no?"

She didn't answer. She just walked away.