I'm baaaaaack!

And I have a short yet semi- eventful chapter. Great, isn't it?

I finally found out where Star was. Her grandparents had taken her in, ignorant of her drug use. It was all for the better, because she wouldn't have surivived on the streets. She wouldn't talk about why she tried to pull me away from Sandy, but I guess I can't expect someone under the influence of God-Knows-What to be completely cooperative. In any case, she was getting along great with her grandparents, and seemed really happy.

I wish I could say the same about my home, but I can't.March 11 is a day that will stand out in my memory forever. I'd been arguing with Mom, again, but this time it got out of hand. If Dad had been home, he would have stopped us, but he wasn't, so it escalated quickly. We covered almost every subject, and I knew which ones were coming next.

"And that God Forsaken music you listen to!"

"What's wrong with it?"

"How can you be so impertinent as to ask me that?"

"Well, what's so great about yours?"

"Mine is acceptable, and respectable!"

"So is mine, Mom, and have of the things you've heard me play have been my own compositions!"

There was a silence, where Mom's face was flushed and she was angrier than I'd ever seen her before.

"Those compositions," She said slowly and dangerously, "Are an utter mockery of music."

"You..." I clenched my jaw so hard that my head hurt, "You horrible... horrible bitch..."

She didn't flinch. That made me even angrier.

"You're a terrible mother."

"And you're just the perfect daughter."

"Tell me, then! What is a daughter required to do?"

"Respect her parents, and do as she's told."

"Alright. Let's dissect that, shall we? I can't respect you anymore. You sunk so low that it ashames me. And you don't respect me. Do as I'm told? You've never actually told me what to do, you just always assumed I knew, and then mentioned it afterwards."

"I sunk so low?Everyday, you're in the park with those dirty flower children!"

"They're decent people, Mom, and you've always forced me-"

"What we did were two different things!"

"You're right. Your's was much worse. You lied to me."

"When? I've commited no wrong as far as the gospel says, and that's where my loyalties lie."

"Lying isn't always talking, Mom. So tell me." I turned on her, glaring, "Where, in the Bible, does it say, 'Thou Shalt not hang around with hippies?"

"That's not-"

"But it certainly condemns lying. Mom, you have no loyalties."

"What have your loyalties ever done for you? Gotten you home from LAPA, where you could have had a future! You threw away your dream for some silly boy!"

"No, Mom, I threw away your dream for the guy I love. I don't care how cheesey that sounds, it's true. I made my own choice."

"Your choices will get you nowhere. The boy has a child! He's married! Do you think I want the town knowing that my daughter is some kind of... some kind of little harlot?"

"Mom," I saidthrough clenched teeth, my voice burning with rage, "What are you saying?"

"By God, are blind? Anyone who knows about you and that greaser thinks you're some sort of... whore!"

The front door had slammed shut before my mother realized the blatant comment she'd made. But it didn't matter. I wasn't coming back.

They came home.

I knew they would, Soda wouldn't leave me that quickly. He'd make me suffer, like he did. I know he suffers everytime that he thinks about me cheating on him. I know he wasting away his life on me and Marie... but I can't help it.

I looked at my baby. She's going to be one yearold in a few months. I might not even be here then... either Sodapop will make me leave, or my own guilt for ruining everyone's lives will run me out... either way, I know one thing for sure.

No one can take my baby.
No one is taking my baby from me.
We'll stay together.

I remembered the conversation I'd had with Naomi, when we were arguing about Marie, and my statement came back to me, and I accepted it. It was true.

"I need the security for Marie! You don't understand! I'd kill for her!"