Thank you, Kaligirl05, for the review.
That last chapter was hard to write, actually, I've become rather fond of Naomi. I felt like I was sending my child on a bad acid trip... okay, not that much.
Please review. It's all that keeps the story going, because I'm not very good at things without encouragement. Blame it on my self-esteem...
When I first saw myself in the hospital, I wasn't scared. I wasn't sick, or shocked, or anything... I really just groaned inwardly.
My arms were really scratched. I remembered doing that. It had seemed like a good idea at the time... I still didn't want to think very much about what happened... but I remembered hurting my elbow. I was throwing myself around, and I hit it. Then I lay on the ground until Soda and Ashley found me...
I knew I wasn't going to be able to be friends with Star. I just... I couldn't possibly see her without remembering the worst night of my life. I wondered where Ashley was... she'd been my real friend all along, even when I'd chosen to spend time at the park... where I wouldn't be going any more.
I looked at my head in the mirror. The blood was washed from my hair, I'd been concious for that. There was a small square of gauze covering nearly half of my forehead. I prayed there wouldn't be a scar there. My knuckles were wrapped in gauze... what had I done? Must have been from that mirror... why the hell did I ever accept that drink?
"Naomi."
I looked up to see my parents. I didn't do anything, really. I justlooked at them.
"May we sit?"
"Not my hospital." I shrugged, "I'm just the lucky bummer victim who takes up a room."
"Naomi... we'd like you to come home."
"Will it be like before?" I cut in suddenly, "Because the doctors have told me what things are going to be like. I'll have nightmares, and flashbacks..."
"But once the drugs are out of your system-"
"Which might not be for a year or more. I'm serious, if you're just going to insult my music, and fight with me, I'll stay with Ashley."
"Honey-"
"No. I wish things were like they used to be. Before I left. I want to be able to make my music without feeling hated."
"Hated?"
"Mom, just because certain music isn't what you listen to, doesn't degrade it. At all."
"Listen, Naomi-"
"Starling," My dad cut in, "Listen. The hospital has brought it up with us... you need to come home. You're a minor, and you've come across harm... you need to come home. I'm afraid we've gone beyond the matter of choice."
"Alright, dad."
"What? You're just giving in?"
"Dad never chased me out of the house. I'll see you later." I rolled over on my side, away from them. They took their cue to leave.
"Naomi."
I turned around to see Sodapop coming into the quiet room. I cursed silently. Damn, damn, damn... I was reminded all too vividly of the time I'd turned him down... two Christmases ago...
"How are you?"
"Alright."
"I'm glad we found you. It was scary..."
"I'm really glad you guys found me, too. It got worse, once the doctors were here... I don't know how bad I might have hurt myself. It was LSD."
"I figured. It was hard to tell, but it did look like a bad acid trip, eventually."
"Yeah. The doctors are surprised that I'm not having flashbacks yet. It's delayed, or something."
"Your arms are all scratched." he commented quietly.
"Yeah, it stings a bit."
"Naomi... I wanted to tell you... Sandy left..."
"Of her own free will?" I asked, maybe a little harsher than I meant to.
"Yes, and no. I decided... I wanted her to leave... but she was already gone, I just didn't know..."
"But... Marie..."
"Is safe at home. I don't care that she's not my daughter by blood. That doesn't matter anymore."
"But... why? Why make Sandy leave?"
"Naomi... you gave me the choice. Choose Sandy or you. So..." he shrugged, "I chose you. I need you. I love you."
I turned my head away and squeezed my eyes shut, willing the tears not to come.
"Soda... look at me. I'm a mess. I'm scarred, I'm bleeding, and I'm all bandaged up. I'm going to have flashbacks and nightmares and everything bad. I'm a wreck, and I've suffered through something that I wouldn't even wish on Sandy. And you... you're tired, and you look like you've been through hell. We both have. And do you know why?"
"Why..."
"Because we've both been stupid enough to wait on each other."
"No, Naomi, it's not-"
"I mean it. We're only hurting each other."
"But there's nothing left to hurt!"
"That's what I thought yesterday." I replied sourly, "Listen, Soda. I love you, I really do, but it took you so long, and I suffered so much. We're still young, we'll find the right people."
"Naomi, I'm sorry it took so long-"
"Me too." I said, shaking my head, "But that doesn't make it alright. I don't want to hurt anymore. I don't want to hurt you anymore."
"Naomi, please." He looked so sad right then. I sighed deeply.
"Look. We're even hurting each other now... I just wish things could be like they were last winter."
"They will be." He said, and I raised aneyebrow skeptically.
"What?"
"It is going to be like last winter." He cracked a grin. I thought for a second, and shook my head.
"No, Soda, it's different. There's not a chance anymore..."
"That's what you said last year." He was grinning manically now.
"Oh, come on, you know what I mean. It can't work anymore. It just... can't."
"Sure," he said, getting up to leave, "Sure it can't."
What the hell is with him, I thought as he left, I flat out denied him, while lying in a hospital bed recovering froman acid trip that was the fault of his wife - ex wife, soon - and he got all excited and started to think that he could win me over just like he did last time... I guess getting clear of Sandy gave him back that old ability to be optimistic in the worst situations...
That's why I love him, I thought with a smirk.
Wait. My head was suddenly clear... Why the hell did I send him away? I could deal with being hurt again, as long as he didn't leave me!
I was about to call for a nurse to stop him leaving, when I thought better of it.
Alright, I thought, I'll play the game. Let's see where he decides to go with it.