Marie helped him clean the apartment and then sent him to bed.
When he protested she replied "You haven't had a proper nights sleep for how long now?" as she observed the large, dark rings under his eyes. He slumped down in defeat and climbed into his bed, being careful to stash the journal underneath his mattress.
Marie smiled; she wouldn't read it ever unless he allowed her the supreme privilege to. She wouldn't do anything to upset this man who had shared this story with her.
But she still was curious.
He fell asleep instantly and as he slept she sat and looked at him. He had washed and finally shaved, he was almost unrecognisable.
His face was smooth and clean without his unkempt beard, he suddenly didn't look thirty anymore but now had a young, naïve look to him, like a puppy.
She looked at him, and realised how handsome he actually was, what with those eyes and that smile, now that he had shaved he now looked years younger, and she liked it, a lot.
His hair was nice and soft, a chocolate brown, he was now peaceful and as he slept she also fell asleep, leaning against the side of his bed.
She dreamed.
Marie was young, six years old, as she sat under the table, playing with her rag doll giggling and talking with it. A child's game, hiding from her sister.
Suddenly she heard Jean and Catherine approaching the kitchen, their voices loud and scary. Marie, frightened, huddled in her sanctuary under the kitchen table as she listened to her guardians argue.
"She can go have another if she wants Marie so badly!" Catherine yelled.
"Think about it-we give Marie back to Satine then there's more food, Yvonne will have a better life because of it! Do you want to jeopardize our own child's future just because of some orphan? Is that what you want?" Jean yelled back, anger growing in his voice.
"I am not giving Marie back to that glamorised whore! Its not how it works, I raised this girl, why should she grab her back cause she feels like being a mother now? It's too late for her jean! She won't have a clue! Im not giving Marie back to her whore of a mum!" Catherine screamed, close to tears.
"You're always so selfish! Listen to yourself-'I raised this girl' you just want Marie because you and Yvonne never connected like you and Marie did-but giving Marie back to her REAL MOTHER is what's best!" jean screamed and sat on the table.
Marie was scared; whom were they talking about, who was Satine? Did they say that she was her mother? They always had said that she was a rich lady with no other family who had died in a terrible accident, what was a whore? She felt the table shudder as Jean began to cry, unsure what to do.
Catherine began to cry too and sat on the chair and slumped her head on the table as they both cried. Marie felt a tear run down her face, unsure what to do, who were they talking about?
Catherine picked up her head and looked at jean with a tear-stained face, and shuddered.
"I'm just saying that Satine is young, she's probably lost the maternal instinct that you get when your child is born, the closest thing she has to a husband is her clients, how is a cancan dancer going to properly look after a child? Imagine the things Marie would be exposed to, she'd have to live at that goddamn whore house, I don't want our child to be exposed to whores and sleazebags at age six" she explained, her head in her hands.
Jean stood up and hugged Catherine, picked her up and sat her on his knee and rocked her back and forth.
"I don't want to give up Marie, I do love her, I'm just trying to think logically for Yvonne's sake. Listen how about we talk to Satine-make a condition that if she finds herself a husband, gets out of the business and settles down then she can have Marie." He said, exasperated.
Catherine nodded and stood up and watched him walk out of the room. She sat down at the table and began to weep, not knowing what to do.
Marie sat there, underneath the table, uncertain what to do. She wanted to come out and hug her mother and tell her that it was ok and give her a hug, but then she would know that she had heard everything they had said. She leant against the table leg and yawned as she closed her eyes.
Marie opened her eyes and shuddered, what was with her haunting dream? Was it a memory? She was confused; if it was a memory then it meant that Satine, Christians Satine was her mother.
She shook her head, no it had to have been a different Satine, and if it had been the Satine Christian had known and loved she would've told Christian about it and Christian would've made the connection.
She looked at Christians watch, it was 5 in the morning and she realised Catherine and Jean would be worried as to where she was, why she did not come home.
She grabbed a piece of paper and a nib and quickly scrawled on it
"Dear Christian, I am sorry but I fell asleep and have only just woken up this morning, my family will be wondering where I am, I will visit soon, there are questions that need answering, all my love, Marie"
She left it underneath the bottle of absinthe-surely he'd find the note there, and quickly fixed her hair in the mirror. She ran out the door throwing on her coat and running down the street of Montmarte until she reached the exit.
She arrived to her street and realised that she'd have to think of a way to get into the house without alerting her parents to her lateness.
She walked around to hers and Yvonne's window and peeked in through the frosted glass. Yvonne was lying there in their bed, sleeping. Marie tapped the window softly, scared to wake anyone except Yvonne. Yvonne was a light sleeper and opened her eyes as she yawned and stirred. She looked at the window and nearly shrieked as she saw Marie at it. She hopped out of bed and ran to the window, opened it letting Marie in.
"Marie! What have you been doing all night? Have you been with that drunk? Oh lord, tell me nothing happened! Marie what were you thinking for Christs sake? Sacred bleu!" she whispered harshly, hugging Marie and kissing her forehead.
"Get orf me! I'm fine, okay. Yes I was with him, but he's not a drunk, he's a writer. Nothing happened we just talked then I made him go to bed, I accidentally drifted off to sleep but that's not the weird part" and in this hurried whisper she told Yvonne about her dream, careful not to leave a detail out.
Yvonne gaped at her.
"So, do you think that, that your dream was actually a memory?"
Marie shrugged as she pulled her nightgown on over her dress and cloak. She braided then mussed her hair and fixed herself to make her look as if she'd just woken. She then left the room.
She went into the other room, the kitchen, living room, laundry and pantry-this was the room where it all happened, they made food, and then ate it. They'd sit around and talk and tell stories and their parents would read them books when they were little.
They weren't poor but neither were they rich.
She saw Jean sitting at the table, reading the newspaper. He was a kind man and had acted as if Marie had been his own. At the stove was Catherine, boiling a few eggs for breakfast. Jean looked up when Marie walked in.
"When did you get in last night?" he said suspiciously giving her the eye up and down. He got up and walked towards her, and sniffed.
"Why can I smell alcohol and smoke ma Cherie?" he said, his face going red, ready to lecture her.
Marie stopped-she had a lie ready about her finding a stray dog and loosing track of the time but she had forgotten about Christians apartment-it smelt like an ashtray and the stink of alcohol was so strong on him and anything he had touched. She gulped and stepped backwards.
"Catherine, Jean, Can you please tell me honestly-who was my mother? I don't think she died like you said," she said, getting straight to the point. Yvonne walked in just as she said this and went white as she sat down.
Jean and Catherine looked at each other. Catherine nodded.
"Darling, we know no more than you do-we just thought it was easier to say that she was dead when you were younger, to stop you from always wondering where she was, we were only trying to protect you." Catherine lied. She didn't want Marie knowing that she was the product of whore's dealings.
"Did she ever come looking for me, ask for me back? I think she might've, please, no more lies" Marie said cautiously and as she said this she saw the colour leave Catherine and Jeans faces. She had hit it.
Silence crossed the room as Marie looked pleadingly at Catherine and Jean, wanting to know what really had happened.
"Darling, that's enough, we know nothing, okay? Nothing" Catherine said, emphasising the last word, the word full of warning.
Marie looked at them; they had never denied her answers. Whenever she had asked they would always tell her the truth, and there were no secrets. And yet they wanted to conceal her identity completely, as if it brought back the feeling that really, she wasn't theirs.
"Why wont you tell me? I just want to know who I am!!!" she screamed, frustrated and angry, eyes brimming with tears.
"Marie! Don't you ever ask us again! Definitely not if you're going to speak like that!!!" Catherine yelled back.
"I hate you!" Marie screamed and ran, she ran from the kitchen into her bedroom and slammed the door. She pulled her nightgown off and opened the window, pulling on her gloves as she ran down the road. Once she had gotten away from her street she stopped and began to cry as she walked into Montmarte, towards Christians apartment building opposite the moulin rouge, up the stairs until she reached his door, wiping away the tears.
He automatically opened the door as he had seen her coming.
She jumped onto him and began kissing him, he was surprised, and every fibre in him told him not to kiss her back, he loved Satine and would never even look at another girl. He pushed her away.
"What are you doing?" he said holding her back by the shoulders.
"Is it not obvious?" Marie said as she jumped onto him, kissing him more and more, him beginning to kiss back.
She smiled as he reciprocated and he frowned. What was he doing? Everything said to him "No! Don't do this! You're betraying Satine!" but he didn't care anymore, he just wanted to live in this moment, if he couldn't have Satine, what was he supposed to do?
They stood there in the doorway for a while, just kissing and taking in each other's warmth. Then suddenly he picked her up, continued to kiss her, and then carried her to his bed.
As he lay her down he suddenly realised-what was he doing? About to make love to a sixteen year old in the very bed him and Satine did it? Was he crazy?
"Christian? Do you really want to do this?" Marie said, stopping the kissing, breaking the moment, looking up at him innocently, a virgin.
He slumped over and sat down on the floor, leaning against the bed. He shook his head.
"No and yes" he said.
Marie now was confused. She sat on the bed.
"So should I or should I not do up my buttons on my dress?" she asked, pointing to her chest. He looked at her and sighed. He got up and got out another bottle of absinthe from the cupboard and board them both a drink. He sat at the table and drank his shot in one gulp.
She looked at him. She was ashamed; she knew she shouldn't have jumped on him like that, just because she knew Catherine and jean would die if they found out. She wanted to upset them but in doing that she upset herself. She did up her dress and fixed her hair.
"I'm not drinking that stuff, you know I wont," she said, looking at the drink with disgust.
"Well yesterday I didn't think you would try to screw me, but here we are" he replied bluntly, not looking at her.
She blushed; she was regretting what she did more and more.
"Go" Christian, said quietly.
"What?" Marie said, confused.
"I've had enough of whores, I'm sick of them, they ruined my life before and now they've sent you to taunt me, go away" he said cruelly, still staring straight ahead.
"Christian, im not a whore, im not out to get you. I just lost control for a moment, its never happened before in my life, I don't know what came over me-please, friends?"
Marie said, walking over to Christian, sincerity in her eyes.
He finally looked up at her, seeing the honesty he couldn't turn this girl away, something had rattled her. To his surprise, she sat at the table and took a sip of the absinth.
"Ugh! That's so strong! Ugh" she choked, gasping for breath.
"I thought you didn't drink?" Christian said.
Marie smiled "Well now I do"