After a lot of lectures from the other pilots, Heero attempts to carry a simple conversation:

He decided to start his day with a phone call to Relena.

"Hi Relena. Would you like to go to the movies with me?"

"STOP SMOTHERING ME!"

The look she sends over the vid phone is enough for him to feel like she just ripped his heart out and is beating him with it. He quickly hangs up the phone feeling that she would just as soon rip off his skin and decapitate hims, than to have anything to do with him.

Next, he calls Hilde. She seems nice enough, right?

"Hi, Hilde. How are you today?"

"I NEED MY SPACE!"

For the second time that day, he felt the malicous glare of a female. This time he could almost see actually contemplating skinning him alive and then pouring salt in the wound. Dejected, he moved on with his life.

Heero walks into preventer's headquarters, feeling a bit ashamed at failing to carry on a basic conversation. As he was heading over to his desk he saw Une, and decides to have another try at this whole 'conversation' thing.

"Hello Une, I like your shoes."

"I JUST WANT TO BE FRIENDS."

He had just metaphorically gotten his head chewed off. He had a feeling that at the moment, she would even relish in the though of disposing his body in several interesting ways.

Later that day, he passed Noin on his way to the infirmary for a check-up.

"Hi, Noin. What time is it?"

She just takes her gun out and starts threatening him to back off.

Still confused as to what he did to upset Noin, he makes it to Sally's office.

"Hi Sally."

"NO MEANS NO YOU BASTARD!"

Heero feels as though he has been run through several times, with a rather large sword.

Heading back to his desk after his physical, and sees the tale-tell sign of a chestnut braid down the hallway. Almost cringing, not knowing what he has been saying wrong all day, he walks over to Duo.

"I have money"

Duo looks confused for a moment, but not wanting to discourage his friend from attempting to be social he adopts a look of pure relief.

"I love you!"

A/N

And THAT is definitely one advantage to being gay: no dealing with PMS.

That reminds me of a lame-ass joke a friend told me once, it goes like this:

"Why do they call a woman's menstrual cycle PMS?"

"Why?"

"Because 'Mad Cow' was already taken."

See? really lame-ass….

This chapter is a story borrowed from Don Hertzfeldt "A'lamour" the video can be viewed online.