Disclaimer: Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter (though I wish I did), Back to the Future or their various quotes (I wish I owned that too...), The Ghostbusters (Who you gonna call?), Babe Ruth (mm...chocolaty goodness), Adam West (aka BATMAN), or anything else that's too expensive for me to own.
A/N: Yes people, it's another chapter full of my pathetic attempts at humor. Yay. Anyways, this one is fairly humorous, not the funniest I imagine. But the next one will be! I'm hoping at least, I'm just as curious as you are as to what happens next. Which probably isn't that curious…but I'm confusing myself (I'm tired ok!). So, in the next chapter, we will be introduced to the Biff-like character and see a little more James and hopefully a little more Lily-with Harry in the mix of all of it, of course. So, let's just move on, shall we?
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Harry, Ron, and Hermione slowed down to a stop once they reached the Fat Lady's portrait guarding the Gryffindor Common Room. Harry waited, expecting Hermione or Ron to shout out the password. But the two of them didn't say anything; Hermione was looking slightly uneasy and gazed at her shoes. Ron was playing Rock-Paper-Scissors with himself.
"Erm…" said Harry, raising his eyebrows. "Did anyone bother to find out the password?"
"Oh…well…um…" stuttered Hermione. "We…were…um…busy…"
"Doing what?" asked Harry. "In fact, I don't remember you guys telling what you did while I was in the Hospital Wing. Where did you guys sleep?"
"We slept in the Room of Requirement," said Ron matter-of-factly, who seemed to have won his game.
"Unfortunately…" muttered Hermione darkly.
"So what did you do?"
"Well…" said Hermione anxiously.
"We argued," said Ron, shrugging his shoulders.
Harry shook his head exasperatingly. "You guys were arguing when you could have found out the password?"
"Yes…" said Hermione meekly.
"And you always tell me off for wasting time."
"Shut up! We still have to find Lupin!" shouted Ron sensibly.
"Ron's right," said Hermione.
"That's a first," added Harry.
"And we don't even know if Lupin's in there," continued Hermione whilst Ron scowled at Harry.
"We have to get in there somehow, we've got to check!" cried Harry.
"Well, if you have any suggestions…"
"We could ask someone what the password is."
"That's a dumb idea," declared Ron.
"Can you think of anything better?"
"Actually I can! Okay, we'll need about fourteen bagpipes and a spatula-"
"AAHHH!" screamed Hermione, clutching her bottom.
"What is it?" asked an alarmed Harry, pulling out his wand.
"Something spanked me!"
"What?"
"Yes!"
"Was it you Ron?" asked Harry suspiciously.
"No," said Ron defensively. "Hermione'd kill me!"
"You bet I would," growled Hermione.
"Well, maybe there's a ghost in here," offered Harry.
"Ooh," said Ron excitedly. "Can we call the Ghostbusters! Oh please, please, please?"
"NO Ron," sighed Harry. "It's probably just some First year with an Indivisibility Cloak."
"Well whoever it is I'm going to blow them into oblivion," snarled Hermione, her face murderous.
Harry was just about to blame Ron when he heard stifled giggles behind his right ear.
Whipping around, Harry saw nothing. But when he felt the air in around him, the giggles grew into loud guffaws.
Hermione, pulling out her wand, pointed it in the direction of the sound.
Ron mostly just stared at the spot where the laughter seemed to be coming from.
Heart beating loudly, Harry stretched his hand out as far as it would go and waved it blindly in front of him. After a few seconds, Harry came in contact with a material that felt almost like water and recognized it instantly. It was an Indivisibility Cloak!
Harry grabbed it before it could slip away between his fingers and gave a forceful pull, revealing James Potter and Sirius Black laughing hysterically. Now that they were exposed, James and Sirius appeared to have realized that they didn't have to worry about keeping quiet, and they took advantage of it; they were leaning on one another and thumping each other's back while positively howling with amusement.
Ron raised one eyebrow. "It wasn't that funny…"
"No," seethed Hermione. "It WASN'T."
Harry poked his dad tentively. "Da-I mean, James, do you think you could…um…possibly tell us the password?"
They ignored him and continued laughing.
"Um…we really need to get in…"
They responded by snorting uncontrollably.
"ALRIGHT!" growled Hermione, causing everyone in the room to jump in surprise. "Which one of you PERVERTS spanked me?"
James and Sirius both went very quiet. Harry, on the other hand, was very glad that for once Hermione wasn't screaming at him and Ron. Although Ron showed no signs of being glad, he just gazed at Hermione with awe.
"Tell me or I'll curse both of you so bad you'll wish you were DEAD!" threatened Hermione, pointing her wand at James and Sirius.
"It w-was only a j-joke!" stammered James.
"It was him!" cried Sirius, pointing at James.
"It wasn't me it was you!"
"You liar!"
"What? Me? How dare you soil this place with your filthy lies!"
"How dare you, you lying git!"
"STOP IT!" yelled Harry. "Look, all we want is to get in the Common Room!"
"No! I want to find out who spanked me! The obnoxious creep!"
"I'm kinda hungry; do you think we could go to dinner? I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to starve, you know."
"Alright ENOUGH!" shouted Harry. "Hermione, let's just get this over with. So you want to know who spanked you…well we all know James is in love with Lily-"
"Who told you?" gasped James, clutching Sirius by the arm
"-and so that would leave Sirius," finished Harry triumphantly.
"Okay so I did it," admitted Sirius, moving close to Hermione and snaking his arm around her waist. "But I hope it won't ruin our relationship."
Hermione pried his arm off, hissing "What relationship?"
"Man, your cute when you're angry," added Sirius.
Ron and Hermione both glowered at Sirius.
"Anyway," said Harry, to the point of desperation. "We really need the password, could you let us in? We're all Gryffindors."
"Anything for my cousin," crooned James, turning to the Fat Lady. "Magizoology!"
"Certainly," mumbled the Fat Lady sleepily, waving them in as the Portrait swung open, revealing the Gryffindor Common Room.
"Thanks a lot," said Harry to James once they crawled through. "Hey, um…do you happen to know where Lu-I mean, Remus is? We have to talk to him."
James gave Harry a puzzled look, but only said "He should be in the Dormitory, here, I'll take you guys there."
Harry grabbed Ron and Hermione by the wrist and dragged them along as James waved them over to the Boy's Dorms.
Sure enough, Lupin was sitting on his bed with a book in his hands, looking up curiously to see who had entered.
Harry coughed and James quickly left, mumbling something that sounded along the lines of "Everyone wants to talk to Moony!"
"Well this is a pleasant surprise," said Lupin, politely as ever. "And to what do I owe this pleasure?"
"Oh hello Lup-I mean, Remus," began Harry nervously. "You remember us, don't you? From the Hospital Wing?"
"Of course!" grinned Lupin. "James's cousin and his two friends from Canada! So, what did you want to see me about?"
"Um…well," said Hermione, wringing her hands anxiously. "You see, we're not…really from Canada…"
"Really?" asked Lupin, visibly interested. "Well then, where are you from?"
"We're from…we're from the future…" said Ron, closing his eyes immediately after speaking.
There was an awkward pause, in which Harry watched Lupin's face carefully, but it remained politely blank. After a few minutes of silence, Lupin shut his book, put it down next to him, and folded his hands in his lap, looking at the three of them expectantly.
"Well…?" prompted Lupin slowly.
"Well what?" asked Harry.
"If you're telling the truth I would very much like to know how you got here, who you are, and why you came to me," said Lupin matter-of-factly.
Harry sighed with relief. He thought that maybe Lupin wouldn't give them a chance to explain themselves, and then who would they go to? He was also reminded why Lupin was his favorite teacher; Lupin was kind, polite, open-minded, trustworthy, smart, and what's more; Lupin gave Harry lots of really good chocolate. What could be better?
Since Harry was lost in his thoughts and Ron was examining his fingernails, Hermione took it upon herself to tell the whole story to Lupin; who they were, the 'Special Prize Inside', the Time Turner, how Ron broke it, the Quidditch Game, the bludger, and finally the book 'Fixing Time Turners, for Nitwits'.
Lupin listened patiently, never interrupting, and never changing his expression.
"And so we had to come to you," finished Hermione.
"I can't believe it!" exclaimed Lupin softly. "James's and Lily's only son! The Boy Who Lived! Back in time! Simply amazing!"
"Isn't it?" asked Hermione nervously.
"Yes, it is," said Lupin. "And I believe you; may I please see the Time Turner?"
"Sure," said Harry, handing the Time Turner to Lupin.
Lupin examined it carefully, running one hand through his own mousey brown hair.
"I believe I can help you," said Lupin, his face turned toward Harry now. "The only problem I see is that you may have somehow disturbed the delicate balance of the space-time-continuum."
"They all talk the same," whispered Ron in Harry's ear.
"I know you have come in contact with James, Harry, but have you happened across Lily?" asked Lupin.
"Um...actually yes…" muttered Harry. "Er…is that a bad thing?"
"Yes, very serious I'm afraid," sighed Lupin. "Do you have any pictures with you?"
"Pictures?" asked Harry, taken aback.
"Yes, pictures of you or your family."
"Actually I do," said Harry, pulling out his wallet. Harry picked out the few photographs that he had of himself, James, or Lily. He then laid them out in front of Lupin, on his bed. Lupin picked up a picture and gazed at it solemnly. "This is your parents, I presume?"
"Yeah," said Harry, glancing at the photo. It was one of his favorites. In it his father was on a bed in the Hospital Wing, all bandaged up, no doubt from a Quidditch accident. His mother, Lily, had her arms wrapped around James and was kissing him passionately. They were both about sixteen, around Harry's age.
"This is when they first fell in love," smiled Harry. "Sirius told me it was some Quidditch accident that sent James to the Hospital Wing and mom was so worried about him, she went to help him get better. Then they fell in love."
"That is so ROMANTIC…" sobbed Ron, leaning on a disgruntled Hermione.
"Quidditch accident?" questioned Lupin. "How old were they in this photo?"
"About my age," said Harry. "They were in my year."
Suddenly Lupin's eyes widened and grabbing the photo again he gasped "Are you sure?"
"Yeah…" confirmed Harry, completely baffled by Lupin's reaction. "Why? What's wrong?"
"This last Quidditch Game was the last one of the year," said Lupin worriedly.
"Oh no…" squeaked Hermione.
"Huh?" asked Ron.
"Yeah, what's so terrible about that?"
"Don't you see!" said Hermione frantically. "It means that this-" Hermione pointed a shaking finger at the picture. "-should have happened after the last Quidditch Game!"
"But I still don't see-" began Harry, but Hermione interrupted again.
"This was supposed to happen, but did it?"
"Uh…no."
"Exactly!"
"But why is that bad?"
"This was when your parents fell in love, but it didn't happen! Therefore, they aren't in love!"
"But I still don't get it, why didn't it happen?"
"Do you remember," growled Hermione. "A certain someone who saved his father from falling off his broom the other day during a Quidditch Game?"
"Umm…" grunted Harry, trying to think.
"A certain someone who ended up in bandages last night! A certain someone who had been visited by his mother last night!"
"Oh."
"Wait, hold on!" exclaimed Ron with dawning comprehension. "You're talking about Adam West, aren't you?"
"No!" hissed Hermione. "We're talking about Babe Ruth, who do you think we're talking about?"
Breathing heavily, Hermione began to rock back and forth on her feet like a frightened child.
Lupin graciously led her to his bed and helped her sit down, offering her some chocolate.
"Hermione is right, Harry," continued Lupin gravely after Hermione was settled. "Since your parents are not in love, they might not get married and you may cease to exist."
"Well that's not good," pointed out Ron helpfully.
"Yes, I know," said Harry impatiently. "But what can we do about it?"
"Well, we can't just fix the Time Turner and leave now," said Hermione, evidently calmed down. "We've got to fix what Harry-" at this point she gave Harry a very nasty look. "-did, and we have to repair the Time Turner." This time she shot an accusing scowl at Ron.
"So, we have to make my mom and dad fall in love again?"
"Yes."
"But how?"
"I don't know," said Hermione, clutching Lupin's pillow for comfort.
"What about a dance?" asked Ron.
"There won't be any Quidditch Game until next year…" observed Harry, rubbing his chin.
Hermione began to panic again. "Are you seriously suggesting that we should stay here until next year?"
"Don't worry, we can't do that," soothed Lupin. "We need to do something quick so you won't ruin any more of the Time Line."
"A dance is quick," offered Ron.
"We need something romantic," said Hermione, deep in thought. "Something so romantic that it'll make James and Lily fall in love…but what?"
"A dance is romantic," insisted Ron.
"What do your parents like to do together, Harry?" asked Lupin.
"Well…I dunno…nothing."
"What are their interests?" questioned Hermione. "What do they have in common?"
"I-don't-know!" said Harry heatedly. "It's not like I got to spend a lot of time with them, people!"
"Ooh…right."
"Everyone likes dances-" started Ron, but Harry interrupted him.
"Hey, what about a dance!"
"Hmmm…" said Lupin, gazing at his flattened pillow. "You know, there is a dance coming up! It's one of Slughorn's Parties!"
"Wait a minute…" said Ron irritably. "Why didn't I think of that?"
oOoOoOo
A/N: You know, if I had a teacher that continuously gave me chocolate, he'd be my favorite too. Oh but before I forget:
Thanks so much for reviewing: RavenWriter89, 'Dark-Independent-Girl-101', Nightwing509, Seadrance, Professor Prongs, theworldisatmymercy01, Asteroid225, Imprint Of A Departed Soul (Yes, you too), and femaleprongslet!
I haven't forgotten you! Thanks again for the thoughts!
As for the rest of you- (glares reproachfully)
Naw, just kidding, love ya for reading.
Until next time…