Awd.Wun.Owt: Okay, first, I'd like to explain why this chapter is called "The Fruit." My friend, Alyssa, said to keep the chapter title to something simple like "The Halloween Bash" or "The Date." And me, with my weird little thought process, figured out that a date is a fruit and that people don't go on dates, they go on fruits. So, that explains the title. Read and review please. Oh, and the timeline is totally screwed. So pay no attention to the things that make no sense. That's what I do!
Seeing as how it was Halloween night, Riza dressed up in a school girl's outfit, complete with matching pigtails, and went to pick up Roy for their date. They were going to catch an early dinner at a nice restaurant and then go to a military Halloween bash. However, Roy was reluctant. Riza had picked out his costume to match hers and he was refusing to wear it. The corners of Riza's mouth twitched upwards in to a smile when she remembered Roy's costume. She got out of her car and knocked on his front door. She saw an eye through the peep hole and looked closer.
"Who is it?" she heard Roy ask.
"Your date." Roy flung open the door and stared at Riza's mini-skirt. His jaw dropped and his tongue hung out.
"That would be exactly why I picked that specific costume for you, sir." Roy was currently wearing a dog's costume, complete with tail and ears. "Come, sir. If we plan on having dinner before the party, then I suggest we leave now." Roy shook his head as if he was waking himself from a trance, then cleared his throat.
"Ahem. Yes. You're right. Let's go." They drove to the small restaurant and had a quiet dinner. Aside from the looks of confusion from the other diners, everything was going like one of Roy's normal dates. Then came the bill. Riza saw it first. Thirty-one dollars and fifty-two cents.
"That's fifteen seventy-five each, sir," Riza said, pulling a small back pack on to her lap, searching for her wallet.
"I'll pay for it, Lieutenant. You don't have to split it with me."
"It's alright, sir. I don't mind." Roy reached in his fuzzy pockets and Riza found her wallet. They split the bill and headed for what appeared to be a rather large gym where orchestra concerts were held on occasion. They pulled up around eight p.m. and walked in to the building. They looked around. There were plenty of military members they didn't know, but the ones they did know, they found almost immediately.
"There's Major Armstrong," Roy and Riza said in unison, pointing towards a green figure. They smiled at one another, then walked over.
"Major. Who are you supposed to be?" Roy asked with a small laugh. Armstrong spun around and flexed.
"I am the Incredibe Hulk! Look at my green muscles! Hoo-ah!"
"How did you get your back painted?" Riza questioned, her head tilting to the side a bit.
"It's an Armstrong family tradition that has been passed down for generations! The ancient art of finger-painting!" He flexed even more. Roy held back the desire to laugh at the Incredible Hulk with pink sparkles floating around him. He didn't have to fight the urge for long because Maes Hughes then approached them.
"Heya, Roy!" Maes said, almost startling the Flame Alchemist. Roy turned around and outright laughed. He had expected something like this. Maes was dressed up as a giant picture of his family. A drawn picture of his family. With his head cut out so his real one could fit there.
"Where…?" Roy began.
"Isn't it fantastic?! Elicia drew it for me and even cut out my head, with Gracia's help of course. You should have seen it! It was adorable!" He thrust his hands out, photographs clasped tightly. "I have pictures, you wanna see?!"
"No, thank you, Maes." Before Maes could argue back, a telephone, Zorro, a miniature Armstrong, and a piece of asparagus came up to them.
"Hi, Lieutenant, Lieutenant Colonel, Colonel!" the telephone said cheerfully.
"Good evening, Fuery," Riza said, then turned to Zorro, chibi-Armstrong, and the asparagus. "Havoc, Breda, Falman." They nodded.
"Hey, how'd you know I was Zorro, chief?" Havoc asked. Riza reached forward and pulled the cigarette out of Havoc's mouth.
"Just a wild guess, Lieutenant." She dropped it in an ashtray, giving Havoc momentary withdrawal. "Warrant Officer Falman is the only one tall enough to be a piece of asparagus and Second Lieutenant Breda was the only one left."
"You're forgetting me, ma'am." Riza turned around to see light green creature wearing a thick, silver painted innertube.
"I apologize…Sciezka?" The creature nodded.
"I'm an alien, ma'am." Roy longed to say Well, we know that. What's your costume? but knew Riza would hurt him for it.
"Of course," he offered instead. "What else?" Denny Bloch and Maria Ross walked pass the crew, smiling and chattering away awkwardly. Roy stared.
"Looks like we're not the only ones who came as a pair, Hawkeye." Bloch was dressed as the monster Frankenstein and Ross was his bride. Roy had guessed they would end up dating. Man, could he call office romance or what? He smiled inwardly until he was tapped on the shoulder. He once again turned around, but this time, he came face to face with a pirate while Riza stared at a really, really, really big parrot.
"Colonel Mustang! Good to see you! Nice costume," Fuhrer King Bradley complimented.
"Not bad yourself, Fuhrer, sir." Roy's eyes flicked to the large parrot. "Is that…?"
"My secretary, Miss Douglass. Yes." Roy nodded. "Well, we'll be off then. It's polite to invite people in at the door. But between you and me, I intend to give them a little scare. Boo!" Roy faked a startled look and the Fuhrer laughed. He and the parrot went to the door and hid on either side. Inu-Roy looked over at the telephone, Zorro, the piece of asparagus, Chibi-Armstrong, the alien, the sparkling Incredible Hulk, and the giant drawing of Maes' family. This sight was too much.
"Well, it's nice talking to you all, but the Lieutenant and I are planning on going in to the haunted house." Fuery, Havoc, Breda, Falman, and Sciezka all shook their heads.
"Uhm…" (Sciezka)
"We'll stay here." (Falman)
"Yeah, we're good!" (Breda)
"Haunted houses aren't really our…forté." (Fuery)
"They just freak me out," Havoc said, being honest and lighting another cigarette.
"Then you'll just stay here. Don't be afraid now," Roy joked.
"I have to find Elicia and Gracia anyways. They're adorbale! My little girl dressed up as an angel! She's so cute! And Gracia, you'll never guess what she is! A gypsy! Oh, they look so adorable!" As Roy and Riza sneaked away from the gushing father, Armstrong babbled on about some family tradition of protecting the scared and weak. As they headed towards the small haunted house, they passed by a very bloody, very undead, very pissed off murdered zombie.
"Was that…?" Riza began.
"Basque Gran with a knife sticking out of his head? Yes. Although I'd like to put that knife elsewhere…" Riza giggled and Roy looked down at her. "Since when do you giggle?" The Lieutenant cleared her throat and blushed slightly.
"I didn't, sir."
"Of course not." They walked through the haunted house, which was, in all truth, very lame. Roy simply stared at anyone who got too close and they backed away. Roy and Riza walked out of the hauntless house and over to the snack table, where Lieutenant Yoki was just leaving…dressed as a clown with Lyra, a mime, following him. Roy shook his head.
"What's next?" he murmured.
"Hey, Colonel Crappy!" Edward greeted as he and Alphonse approached the two. Roy looked at the teenager. Typical Halloween costume. Edward had dyed his hair black and was dressed as a vampire. Roy would have described him as a gothic vampire, because Edward was wearing a little more black than most did when they dressed like blood-suckers, but found it would only be redundant.
"Hi, Colonel Mustang, Lieutenant Hawkeye!" Alphonse waved. Edward had transmuted his body to look like that of a cat that walked upright.
"Isn't transmuting your younger brother dangerous, Fullmetal?" Roy asked.
"No more dangerous than that fluff you're wearing." Roy gave him a death stare. "It's a joke, asshole. Of course it wasn't dangerous. If something I did would result in losing Al, I'd never do it. I didn't mess with the Blood Seal, just his armor configuration." Roy nodded.
"I see." Edward looked over to where the other two had just came from.
"You guys went in to that Haunted Hoax, too?" he asked. The other two military members nodded.
"Brother and I went in there. It wasn't very good," Alphonse noted.
"Don't lie, Al. You were so scared, you couldn't even walk in a straight line!" The armor blushed and Roy began pondering on how that was possible, completely blocking out Edward's next sentence.
"Hey!" Edward yelled, Roy's focus snapping back to the blonde. "Were you even listening to me?"
"No."
"Bastard. I said, 'if you really wanna get scared, you should try the corn maze out the back door.' They've got people chasing you around. Well, that's what Lyra told me."
"Actually, she acted it out, Brother. She's a mime. She can't talk," Alphonse pointed out to his brother.
"Yeah, whatever. So, you guys wanna go? Al and I were just headed over there." Roy looked over at his date, who shrugged. He nodded and the four of them walked out the back door.
Edward and Alphonse took no time getting through the maze, seeing as how Edward could see over the hedges when he stood on Alphonse's shoulders. Roy and Riza, however, were having no such luck. Sure, Roy could have burned down the maze, but what fun would that be? They rounded multiple corners and ran in to various dead ends. After running down a very elaborate path and coming to yet another dead end, they spun around to see an axe-murderer. The man grabbed Riza and ran off. Roy chased after them, but lost them. He heard a few faint gunshots and pushed his way through the maze's hedges to see the murderer lying on the ground, twitching. Riza had her gun drawn.
"Did you…?" Roy began.
"I shot above his head and he passed out. The coward." Roy finally decided he didn't care about fun anymore. He wanted out of this damn maze. He sat Riza on his shoulders long enough for her to see which was the exit was. She got down and he blasted a hole through the hedges in that direction. The two got out and walked back in to the gymnasium, spotting Edward and Alphonse.
"How'd it go, Colonel?" Edward asked with a smirk.
"Some crazy axe-murderer tried to take the Lieutenant." The braided alchemist faked a surprised look.
"Did he succeed?"
"No, Fullmetal. He passed out when she fired at him." Edward's jaw dropped.
"Damn! That's no fair!" He turned a furious color of red.
"Brother, uh, let's go to the, uh…dunk tank! Lieutenant Yoki's in it!" Alphonse offered. Edward's face lit up.
"Yoki? From Youswell?" Alphosne nodded. "Heh heh. Let's go, Al. See ya!"
"Bye!" Alphonse was dragged to the dunk tank and Roy and Riza laughed.
"Well, that was interesting," Shou Tucker said, nearing the pair. He had a yellow paper crown on his head and a Fairy Princess following him.
"What's that, Shou?" Roy asked.
"That Elric boy just ran up there and hit a dead shot."
"Ed?"
"No, Alphonse." Roy and Riza looked at one another, then to Shou, then past Shou to see Edward and Alphonse doing a small victory dance as Yoki climbed out of the water, cursing under his breath.
"Hey, Mister Colonel!" The Fairy Princess tugged on Roy's tail. "Have you seen my prince? I lost him." Riza smiled at Nina.
"Who's your prince?" she asked.
"Alexander."
"I'll help you find him."
"Are you one of those superhero school people?" Riza laughed a bit.
"No, but she's very close," Roy answered for her. Riza took the small girl's hand and led her off. Roy and Shou conversed about alchemic research until the two girls returned with the leashed Prince of Slobber.
"Thank you, superhero lady!" Nina said.
"It was no problem," Riza answered. The Tuckers bid farewell and walked away. Riza yawned a bit.
"Ready to go home, Lieutenant?" Roy asked. Riza nodded slightly. He put an arm around her waist to hold her stable and they walked out to her car. He lay her down on the back seat as she fell asleep then got in to the driver seat and drove her home. He took her house key out of her backpack and opened the front door. Roy then walked to her bedroom and laid her down on the bed, pulling the ribbons out of her hair and the covers up to her chin. Black Hayate ran in to the room and curled up on the floor at the foot of Riza's bed. Roy brushed some of the loose strandes of hair out of her face and gently kissed her on the forehead. Riza mumbled something in her sleep and a small smile crept across her lips. Roy sat her things down on the floor next to the bed and her key on her night stand. He creeped to the door and out of the room.
"Thank you, Roy," Riza murmured as he closed her door. "I had a great time."
"Me, too, Riza." The door closed and Roy walked out of her house, locking the door behind him. He whistled happily all the way home.
Roy's lesson of the day: Doing all of that paperwork was totally worth it.
Awd.Wun.Owt: I'd like to say for only two days of planning, two days of writing, and an IM conversation, I didn't do too bad. Whaddaya think?