Disclaimer: I own nothing; Harry Potter and the elements of his universe all belong to J.K.Rowling. Firefly/Serenity and the elements of its universe all belong to Joss Whedon. I'm just borrowing the characters to play with for a while. This is for pleasure only, no profit is being made, and no copyright infringement is intended.

CHAPTER ONE – Serenity Now (September 23, 2520)

"Listen, mei-mei, we need to have a little meeting," a slightly nervous Captain Malcolm Reynolds began as he addressed his peculiar diminutive pilot.

River Tam slowly turned her gaze from the vast blackness of space before her and looked up at her Captain silently.

"Sir?" Zoe asked glancing between River and Mal. "Are you sure you want me here?"

"Please," Mal nodded. "And close the door."

"Wait!" Simon exclaimed pushing his arm in the way of the rapidly shutting door. "If you're having a meeting about River I would appreciate being a part of it."

"Fine," Mal reluctantly agreed. "Just… close the door behind you."

The young doctor Simon Tam stepped in and began to close the door just as Kaylee popped her head through to peak onto the bridge. "What's everybody doing?" She saw the small gathering congregating on the bridge. "Oh… oh. Am I interrupting the… the thing?"

"Well," Simon tried to explain to his eternally happy girlfriend. "I'm not certain the Captain wants an audience."

Mal rolled his eyes. "If you don't got nothing to fix Kaylee then-"

"What's all the ruckus up here?" Jayne rudely interrupted. "Is it group hug time and I missed the memo?"

"Jayne, please," Mal said as his patience was running to an end.

Jayne pouted a bit and insisted. "Fine. It's not like I wanted a hug anyway. But leave the door open so I can still hear you." Jayne grinned and turned to leave. "Maybe Inara needs a hug. Hope it's free."

Mal just looked at the wide open door and realized perhaps this was a battle best to simply surrender to. He shook his head and recomposed himself. "River, honey. We wanted to talk to you."

"We're nearing Paquin now," she explained turning back towards the direction they were flying. "Can you talk and me fly at the same time?"

"Umm… right. Yeah. I… I hope so." Mal responded a touch flustered.

"Captain?" Zoe reminded him.

"Yes, thank you," Mal replied. "The thing is, River, no one's saying you can't fly. When we're in a tight spot, you're a right quick thinker and can pull off some fancy flying moves that I ain't ever seen before. But lately, you've been…"

"Drifting." River interrupted.

"Yeah," Mal agreed absent-mindedly.

River explained leisurely, "I think we may have lost the primary buffer panel. That's why we're drifting."

"Wait… what?" Mal asked in confusion.

"Drifting, as in pulling to the left. The left side has the primary-"

"We lost that again?" Mal yelped perhaps more femininely than he intended.

River shrugged. "Well there's always a reason for drifting."

Mal realized River was saying more than it appeared and looked over to Zoe. "Right. A reason." He watched the emotions on Zoe's face and thought about how things had been going.

"I'm still flying, in case you wanted to keep talking," River explained as she compensated for the slight shift in course they had upon breaking through the planet's atmosphere.

Simon was looking at Mal hopefully, wondering if the Captain had a change of heart.

Mal frowned. "Yes, well, back to what I was saying. You're a great flyer, but your focus is lacking. You get too easily distracted. We need someone we can always count on behind the wheel of this little beauty. Several of us can fly, but none of us are particularly gifted at it. And a lot of times me and Zoe are going to be on the ground, needing to know we got someone dependable in the air."

"And I've been drifting," River replied flying exceptionally close to the ground to avoid most detection scans.

"I refuse to allow you to take her with-" Simon insisted.

Mal interrupted him and waved him off. "I know exactly what you refuse, Doc. And while I have no plans to be pulling River with us into any battlefields, there comes a point you need to act a little less like her doctor and a little more like her brother."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Simon snapped back irritably.

Kaylee put a comforting hand on his shoulder. "I think what the Captain is saying is that River's a big girl. She's doing lots better. She should be allowed to make her own decisions, not you simply making them for her."

River took both of her hands off the controls and turned to Mal. "So you want me to stop flying your ship? Is that it?"

"No!" Mal exclaimed lunging to pull up the ship from slamming into a mountainside. River beat him to it, and pulled them out smoothly.

"Then what are you needing to talk to me about?" River asked resuming her position calmly gliding them through valleys and canyons at thoroughly unsafe speeds.

Zoe jumped in with her softer voice. "We're just worried about you, River. We need a pilot we can count on. You've seem to begun regressing a little bit here and there. And we're considering perhaps hiring a temp until you can get a hold on things again."

"I never had a hold in the first place," River explained emotionlessly. "You were just more forgiving."

Mal frowned. "Are you saying you don't think your condition's going to be improving any?"

"Of course it will," Simon argued. "We can look into more alternative treatments."

"They won't work," River explained as she began to lean back in her pilot's chair and was now steering with her feet.

Mal glanced behind him and saw how close she was cutting all the curves and turns. He winced in worry and turned away. "Look Doc," Mal explained. "You're a part of this crew. So's your little sister. We ain't fixing to boot you, we ain't trying to put anyone in more danger. But it's been a long time since we took on any new crew members, and having a pilot we can trust ready to pull us out of there is going to be a good thing. Now Wash…" Mal grimaced a bit at the stoic unmoving expression on Zoe's face. "Wash can't be replaced. But a pilot can. And River's just not cutting it anymore."

"Come on Captain," Kaylee pleaded. "What if we just call this a warning? Sort of wait and see if River improves any before revisitin' this conversation?"

Simon looked up at the Captain hopefully. "Nothing horrible has happened yet. Maybe there's some new meds I can look into."

Mal shook his head. "Don't make me into the bad guy here. I would love it if River could be our all-seeing eye in the sky, but she's not as good off as we were fooling ourselves into thinking."

"Don't you think you're over-reacting a bit?" Simon argued with a small smile. "I mean of course sometimes she…" The doctor trailed off as he saw River had jumped out of her chair and left no one at the controls. She stopped after just one step and clenched her eyes shut. She put her hands over her ears as she hissed in apparent pain. Her eyes flew open and she whispered into the silence hanging in the room, "Potter." She then turned towards the door and sprinted off the bridge and back towards the cargo hold screaming, "Potter! Potter! Potter!" over and over again.

Mal shook his head, closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "Oh hell no! No, no, no! No more horrifying and massive government conspiracies. No no no!"

"Captain," Zoe interjected.

"I refuse to waste time on any more wild goose chases!"

"Captain!" Zoe said a little firmer.

"I don't care wherever, whoever, or whatever Potter is! It don't matter!"

"CAPTAIN!" Zoe yelled loudly, finally getting his attention.

Mal turned to Zoe's questioning face. She just jerked her thumb towards the empty seat at the controls of the ship and saw they were lined up to crash into a canyon wall.

"Gorramit!" Mal cursed and jumped into the chair pulling them up and out of the way of danger. He exhaled at yet another unnecessary close call. He yelled loudly, "River, sweetie? This is exactly what I'm talking about."

"Potter!" She yelled back at him.

Mal just sighed and looked over at Kaylee, Zoe, and Simon. "I don't think your warning's going to do us any good." Mal saw the apprehension on Simon's face. "Doc, seriously. I care for the well-being of the little one as much as anyone. And even if she ain't flying, she's still a member of the crew here. Certainly more so than any pilot we hire. But we gotta think about everyone involved… not just River. We can find some other work for her if she needs to feel useful. There's plenty to do around here."

"I know," Simon relented. "It's just I know how much she likes to fly."

Mal smiled immediately. "We all like to fly, Doc. I take control of the bridge all the time, and I'm not going to stop her from sitting in her pretty little chair. We just can't count on her, and we do need someone that we can count on."

Simon nodded slowly. "It makes her so content to just be needed and useful."

"Don't worry, Doc," Zoe explained with a grin. "As soon as she's better, we'll get rid of the temp we hire, or find something else for them to do. When it comes to flying, she's even better than my man was."

Mal kept the smile on his face, but he kept wondering how long they'd be walking on eggshells and when someone was just going to snap, whether that be Zoe, or the unfortunate person near her.

Kaylee grinned and squeezed Simon's shoulder. "You never know. We might find a pilot who becomes your new best friend."

"I do need one of those," Simon sarcastically nodded in thought.

"Speaking of, Captain," Kaylee pleasantly inquired. "How are we going to find a pilot? Place an ad asking for skilled pilots with flexible morals and a strong dislike of the Alliance?"

"No, Kaylee," Mal replied as he set the ship down in an empty field. "I don't think that would sit too well with some folks. We got some cargo to drop off around here, and I also happen to know Monty's got an office around here. We may catch him in, or be able to locate him. I thought I'd see if he had any recommendations."

"That's a surprisingly good idea, sir," Zoe admitted looking shocked.

Mal took no offense. "Yes well, I've noticed the little one seemed to be deteriorating and have given this some thought. Truth is, if we're on the ground making a drop or something, we need to know the eyes in the sky are open. And whoever's there is able to snap into action if the Alliance or Reavers pop in for a visit. Right now we just don't know for sure whether she'd be Johnny on the spot or clenching her head in pain as she stares in the bathroom mirror shouting out…"

"Potter!" River called out from the other room.

Mal smiled happily as he calmly addressed the people near him. "You know that doesn't even bother me in the slightest anymore." He paused a beat and added, "I think I'd be more surprised if she didn't call out the answers to questions she cannot possibly have heard."

"I know!" River screamed.

Mal shook his head. "Ahh, mei-mei."

"Mal," Monty began from the video link on his call to Serenity. "Why is it whenever I see you on Paquin, I got men trying to push me some black market beagles?"

Mal smiled at his friend, looked away, and kicked the floor. "I don't know nothin' bout nothin'."

"Right," Monty grinned back. "I'm sure. So what brings you to the left buttcheek of the 'verse I sometimes call home?"

"We had a delivery to make," Mal explained to his old friend. "And I thought I'd just drop you a line and see how you were doing?"

"Oh Captain Reynolds," Monty melodramatically called out. "I'm honored, I'm privileged, and I'm not buying it for a second. Now what is it that you really want?"

Mal smirked and shook his head. "You're becoming so much more jaded in your dotage, Monty."

"Oh hush," Monty scoffed. "Made the beast with two backs with Inara lately?"

Mal sputtered and choked. "I… have never… nonsense… making…"

Monty chuckled. "Man, that gets funner every time."

"Chur ni-duh, Monty." Mal said in irritation. "I was calling because I think it's time I took on a new pilot. I know you freelance a bit more than me, and thought you might be able to recommend someone."

"Expanding your crew Mal?" Monty asked. "What happened to the cute little dish you had?"

"She's picked up some… questionable habits." Mal answered wryly.

Monty's smile faltered for a moment. "Habits?"

Mal nodded. "She's got a bad habit of occasionally getting up and leaving the bridge unmanned."

Monty just raised an eyebrow. "That doesn't seem too unreasonable."

"In the middle of landing." Mal added.

"Oh," Monty sat up. "That would be pretty questionable."

Mal nodded. "So I thought picking up a good pilot might be something to look into. Got any excellent pilots you're slowly driving mad because of their allergy to the bushy hair log glued to your upper lip?"

Monty shrugged and shook his head. "I like my guys. But there is one freelancer I've used you might give a try."

"Oh yeah?" Mal asked.

Monty nodded. "Yeah. His name is Harry. I offered him a more permanent position. But he declined due to his own habits, one of which is to sometimes go off chasing down leads. He's a very picky collector of things from the Earth-That-Was."

"Can he fly?"

Monty grinned. "He was just hitching a ride on an up and up delivery. Reavers killed my pilot and were attacking a small outpost. He led a dozen or two families back to the ship, including my cargo. Then just hopped in the cockpit and headed back this way. According to the others, he was flying circles around the Reavers. He managed to get a couple of them Reaver ships to crash into each other and that scared the other ships chasing them off. Saved probably 50 people, and saved me probably several hundred thousand cred."

"Sounds like a regular hero. You certain he'd have any interest in the occasional activity the Alliance might frown upon?"

"Oh sure. When I found out what happened, I wanted to thank him with a reward. He refused but said he'd be willing to help out for an equal share on a few temp jobs."

"That's curious."

Monty shrugged. "Yotts vouched for him and knew him. He knew the sorts of things he was delivering and picking up. Harry kept joining with different crews. I think he was trying to meet everyone and was curious about what they all knew about the Earth-That-Was. Good pilot, good guy."

"Sounds promising," Mal said with a slight smile. "How can I get in touch with Harry?"

Monty sat back and thought about it. "Last I heard Fanty and Mingo had some work for him. They probably know."

"Really," Mal grinned triumphantly. "I haven't talked to them in a while. Wonder if they miss me."

Monty chuckled. "With a mug like that, who wouldn't miss you, Mal?"

"So this, Harry, you say he's good?"

Monty nodded. "Yup. With his own questionable habits, he'd fit right in with your motley crew."

"And here it comes," Mal sighed. "What are these questionable habits that make him faulty enough that you haven't locked him down to keep him from going off working with Fanty and Mingo?"

"It's not like that," Monty shook his head. "He's just… a bit peculiar. I'd trust him with anything, but… he's got old eyes."

Mal frowned. "Does he keep them in a jar?"

"No no, nothing like that." Monty said waving his hand. "The kid's probably twenty-five, if that. But his eyes look older than mine. You remember that look in people coming out of the war. His eyes look like he was a general at the front lines. It's… a bit eerie."

"Eerie I can live with, if he can fly."

"Oh he can fly," Monty assured him. "I was just explaining it, because I don't think I could talk that kid into anything he didn't want to do. I would have locked him down if I could, but he wasn't biting. Maybe you'll be his kind of weird."

"Yeah, we are an odd bunch," Mal nodded. "Thanks Monty," he finished and closed down the communication.

"Explain this to me again," Zoe asked with confusion on her face. "You called Fanty and Mingo, set up a meeting, but they refused to be in the same room as you?"

"They are under the impression that I'm some kind of bad luck charm." Mal explained as they walked to the bar, with Jayne following dutifully. "And they seem to be worried that I'm still flying with that girl that messed up the bar last time."

"So then what are we doing here?" Jayne asked not particularly a fan of remembering a beatdown delivered to him by a little girl.

"We're meeting Harry," Mal stated. "And perhaps not only picking us up a pilot, but also a job."

"A job, sir?" Zoe clarified.

Mal nodded. "Seems Harry has a little job he needs to run. Fanty and Mingo owed him a favor and were going to help him do it. But he's willing to meet with us and see if we'd be better for doing this job. Anything further than that we can decide after the job. Personally, I think he's a bit picky."

"So what?" Jayne asked. "Now we're auditioning for him, rather than he's applying for us? How'd that happen?"

Mal paused and opened the door to the bar. "I guess in some ways we are auditioning. So Zoe, if you wouldn't mind unbuttoning a couple more buttons."

"Get inside, Captain. Where it's safer." Zoe held the door for the two men.

"Alright," Mal said as he entered and deposited his gun into a locker. "But don't blame me if we don't get this job."

Zoe and Jayne took a seat in a back booth while Mal got all three of them drinks. When Mal got back, Jayne accepted his drink and asked, "So how are we supposed to recognize this guy?"

"We ain't," Mal stated. "They said he'd find us."

"How's he going to find us if he's never met any of us?" Jayne questioned looking around the room.

A young man in long greyish-brown trench coat ran up to their table with a bright smile. "Bloody hell! You're Jayne Cobb!"

Jayne looked over at Mal and Zoe. "Err… yeah?"

"I can't believe I'm meeting the Jayne Cobb!"

Mal smiled at his confused friend. "The Jayne Cobb?"

The excited young man gripped his stein and sang, "The Hero of Canton, the man they call Jayne!"

"Wuh de tyen, ah!" Jayne swore gritting his teeth.

"I'd recognize that face anywhere!"

Mal was just closing his eyes snickering in joy. "Lordy, I forgotten how much fun that mudding town was."

"Look kid," Jayne snapped out. "We got some business to be doing here and I don't have time to-"

"Let me buy you a drink," he insisted with an infectious grin.

"Well alright then," Jayne readily agreed as the young man whipped around and ran up to the bar.

"Jayne," Zoe snapped.

"What? He wants to buy me a drink." Jayne defended. "Don't want to be rude."

Mal just rolled his eyes as he sipped his beverage and wiped his mouth.

When the young man returned he was carrying beverages for all four of them, and he sat himself down next Jayne. "Thanks for letting me sit with you guys. Certainly didn't wake up this morning thinking I'd be having a drink with Jayne Cobb."

"Actually son," Mal interrupted. "You weren't invited to this table. But I appreciate the drink nonetheless."

The young man looked surprised. "Oh? Is this that business you got to be doing? Can't you just put that off for a moment while we have a drink?"

"We're meeting someone," Jayne began.

"Perfect then," the man replied immediately and smiled. "I'll leave as soon as they arrive."

Mal stared at the kid for a moment before half-asking, half-stating, "Harry?"

Harry grinned a small pout. "Nuts. My eyes twinkled too much, didn't they?"

Mal smiled and shook his head. "Nope. They just look old."

"I get that a lot," Harry said as he sipped his drink. "So… Jayne I recognize. Does that make you Captain Reynolds?"

"That's me," Mal said extending his hand for a shake. "And this is Zoe."

"It's a pleasure, Zoe," Harry said with a nod. "I'm Harry."

"That's an interesting accent, Harry," Zoe inquired.

Harry shrugged. "Yeah, you could say I'm not from around here. You guys seem like a pretty amiable bunch. You think you might be up for a little work?"

Mal's eyes glanced around and found it odd that there was no one in the entire room looking anywhere near their table. It was like they were all facing away intentionally. "What kind of work are we talking about?"

"There was an item stolen from a man I occasionally deal with. He wants it back. We just need to re-appropriate it and return it to him. Your take, and by yours I mean your entire crew, however you choose to divide it, is a hundred thousand."

Mal glanced at Zoe and Jayne. "That's a generous chunk of coin. Is this item going to be something difficult to transport?"

"Not at all," Harry grinned. "It's just a little thing I'd been meaning to track down when I got a chance."

"Mind if I ask how much you'd be making on this piece of work?" Mal asked curiously. "I mean if we're getting a hundred thousand, I can't begin to guess what you're looking to make off this venture."

Harry smirked. "Not terribly shy, are you?"

"Just curious what it is that drives a potential pilot for my ship," Mal defended. "You can learn a lot about a man, knowing the percentages he likes to play."

"Ahh, Captain Reynolds, I'm afraid I must disappoint you then. My take is only that of a mere book. And I don't think you can put a price on something like that."

"A book?" Jayne blurted out. "Nudie pictures of your sister or something?"

Harry laughed. "Nope. Just a book."

"So what is it we're going to be re-appropriating?" Mal asked after another glance told him they were still being completely ignored.

"Well, it's an old gun," Harry explained. "Called the Lassiter."

Zoe and Jayne simultaneously choked on their drinks while Mal began coughing violently.

"I see you're familiar with it," Harry said with an amused grin.

Mal soothed his throat with a swig from his glass. "You… you could say that."

"Oh dear," Harry frowned. "If you got something to say that's going to affect your ability to pull this off, you might want to just come out and say it."

Zoe gave Mal an intent stare that he returned silently.

"Relax," Harry said with a wave. "I'm not looking to get you in trouble. I'm just looking to avoid too many surprises upon delivery. Is that going to be a problem?"

"Hmm…" Mal stalled.

Jayne winced a little and said, "Define problem."

Harry chuckled. "Well, some people might consider it a problem if when we deliver the Lassiter to Durran, he recognizes you guys as the blokes that stole it from him in the first place."

"Yes, well," Mal paled a bit. "That wouldn't be a problem for... most of us."

"Oh this is perfect," Harry grinned. "You guys up for this? I can't wait to deliver it."

"You," Mal stuttered a moment. "You want us to do this because I may or may not have run into the man before?"

Harry just nodded in complete enjoyment.

"Err… right," Mal uncertainly agreed. "Yeah, alright. You got much experience flying a Firefly?"

Harry's eyes bugged out. "There's some of those still in the air?"

"Hey," Mal whined. "She's a great ship. Doesn't attract much attention."

Harry nodded, "No, if you got one that flies, great. That's… that's a nice piece of history."

"She ain't that old," Mal insisted.

"Forget I said anything," Harry said with a wave as he finished off his drink. "I love seeing a well-kept classic that's still in the air."

Zoe was smiling at Mal's frustration.

"You guys want to do this now?" Harry asked. "I've got a couple things to check on and gather, but I can meet you back at your ship in two hours, if you're ready?"

Mal glanced at Zoe and Jayne and nodded. "Two hours, we'll be ready."

"Pleasure meeting you all," Harry winked. "I'll see you soon."

It was at this moment Zoe noticed Simon, River, and Kaylee had walked into the bar. Zoe was about to point this out to Mal, when River just stopped moving and began screaming. River's eyes were closed and her mouth wide open as the extremely high-pitched wail had everyone in the bar grasping their ears and ducking their heads. Glasses exploded and shattered as the piercing shriek intensified.

Harry was just watching her oddly, seemingly unaffected at the heart-wrenching sound. He turned back towards Mal, Jayne, and Zoe and mouthed, "two hours," while sticking two fingers in the air.

While the rest of the room was cowering away in obvious pain, Harry just calmly walked up the uncontrollably screaming young woman. He looked around and saw everyone was pretty much incapacitated from the sound. He quickly leaned down and slapped his lips up against the wide open shrieking mouth and stole himself a kiss.

River's shrieking stopped immediately and she just sat there like wet fish while Harry was smiling with his lips on hers. Harry backed away and smiled. "Sorry, Miss. Your mouth looked like it needed something to do." Harry winked and calmly walked out of the bar.

Simon was trying to get the ringing in his ears to stop, and was temporarily paralyzed in shock while this stranger kissed his sister. The complete look of surprise on River's face was almost comical enough to forget she had just shattered all the glass in the immediate area and made a few ears bleed.

Kaylee was standing back up and waving her hand in front of River's face. River was completely non-responsive, though she swayed slightly like a drunken stupor. Kaylee couldn't help but to giggle.

Mal grabbed a hold of River while Zoe helped the doctor up. "I think perhaps we should partake in our libations elsewhere folks."

"What the tyen-shiao duh is going on?" Simon asked as hurried to catch up with the quickly retreating crew.

"Well, I don't want to make no assumptions," Mal grinned as he carried the still catatonic River. "But I think your sister here may be sweet on our new pilot."

"That's the pilot you hired?" River snapped back at attention startling Mal.

Mal was wearing a smile as he nodded.

"I hate him already."