Curingangelx3: Hey, I know it's annoying when I repeat myself, but I do not think people know that I only edited chapters 1 and 2 of this fic. This will be the edited version of chapter 3, soon I will be edited chapters 4 through 8, and then I will continue with chapter 9. So please be patient as I post these chapters.
If I did not say about an edited version on the top of the chapter, then it is the old version and it does not really flow with the chapters already edited. I was going to post all of the edited chapters all at once, however, that will take awhile.
Like I have said in chapters 1 and 2, the italics are the thoughts of either Yumi or Ulrich. They each take turns in every other chapter, like a pattern. For example, the first chapter was Yumi, second chapter were the thoughts of Ulrich, and this chapter is Yumi's pov again, then it continues like that, unless I say otherwise.
Finally the bolded words are just emphasizing the "special" words to give it more intensity.
Disclaimer: I do not own Code Lyoko, but the plot of "Not loving me" is all mine.
Authors note: Also, this original chapter was posted before summer wings fic. Some people accused me of copying...and I felt really bad...so I just wanted to clear that up. Both me and summer wings got an email about a quote, so we both used it in our fics. Besides, the quote doesn't have to do much about the entire story, but it is important.
Chapter 3- Smile
I shouldn't blame everything on you. It's my fault...that's right, everything is my fault...but it was always you...appearing in my mind...making me want to just cry out these tears...and making me have to suffer in silence. How come I can't let you go? Even after those days when you used to hold me up as a friend, you let me fall down hard...not thinking at all of helping me back up. I had to watch you in the shadows...as you cuddled up with her. Why can't I just forget that you were ever in my life? I guess you really changed me. Now when you look at me...even if it isn't love...I still smile...hiding these tears. Smiling...it's the hardest thing to do now. I know I should never feel this way, so I'll promise to be only a friend...just cheering along the sidelines, I guess I really love you.
"Yumi!" she heard Ulrich call her name...but she ran even faster. I should just cheer you on...along the sidelines...but why is it so hard?
She finally ran out of breath, and stopped near a field...when she saw it. Why am I here...where our tree is? The golden- crimson tree filled with variety of leaves and holds two engraved initials and a fake red rose. It was the rose that Ulrich gave Yumi with eleven real roses. You said you would love me till the end of time...till the last rose died. Can't you even remember your promise?
(flashback)
"Until the last rose dies...I will love you...forever." Ulrich told her seriously.
"Really? How do I know that you won't break this promise?" Yumi asked. She was unsure if she could trust him, because trusting people was hard for her. Looking into his eyes...she just wanted to know...Do you really feel this way?
"It's the truth, I'll show you. Okay?" Ulrich asked, as Yumi quickly nodded silently, "Good, follow me." Yumi walked alongside with Ulrich, as he led her once again to a mysterious area. He came towards a tree, a gorgeous tree. Ulrich took out a pocket knife and began to carve something on the bottom trunk of the tree.
"What are you doing?" Yumi asked, while feeling really puzzled, "Would you rather kill a tree, than look at me?"
"Very funny, of course not," he smiled, "Wait...hold on..."
"Yes?"
"Okay, I'm done," he said, "Now look."
There in front of Yumi's eyes, she saw: Ulrich S. 3 Yumi I. , on the bottom-trunk area of the tree. "Oh my gosh...it's beautiful." Her eyes twinkled with astonishment and happiness, "I think these roses should be left here. Don't you? This was the best moment in my life...and I knew I would cherish it...yet it began to haunt me...
"Sure, that's perfect."
(flashback ends)
All the real roses are all rotted...but that one single rose...makes me still long for you...
After that day, she knew that if she did not talk to Ulrich...it would be all over for them...so she decided...that the next day, she would ask him one last time...if he still loved her.
"Hey Ulrich," Yumi greeted, trying to act cheerfully, "What's up?"
"Oh nothing...just waiting for Sissi," he paused, "You know you shouldn't have interrupted us, and I'm sorry if I couldn't talk to you during our date. It's rude you know?"
"Yeah...well, I just wanted to ask you something."
"Okay, but I only have a few minutes," he rushed.
"Do you like me?" Even as a friend? Can you just like me?
He said, "No."
"Do you think I'm pretty?" Will you just say I'm pretty?
He said, "No."
"Am I in you heart?" Think of me...like family? I don't have to be in your heart...like the way you're in mine.
He said, "No."
"Would you cry if I walked away?" Do you even want me here?
He said, "No."
Yumi began to walk away, when suddenly Sissi appeared. "Are you bothering Ulrich dear?" she asked.
"I just wanted to ask him something." Yumi told Sissi, "I'm going to go now, see ya!"
"Wait...did you finish asking all of your questions?" Ulrich asked in a monotone bored-kind of way.
"No...one more question," Yumi hesitated, "What is more important, me or your life?" Can I at least be anything to you?
He said, "My life." After he said those two words, he walked away with Sissi, leaving Yumi behind.
Yumi wanted to deny that she could never be with Ulrich...they weren't meant to be. She wanted to forget all those good memories...so she pulled out the single rose and crushed it. Kicking it into the ground...she wept.
If you can't keep your promise...I can't either. I know that it isn't right, but you left me with so much pain...I can't handle it. I will forget you and I guess...you don't want me as your friend either...so I will never smile. I really can't anyway.
RING! RING! "Yeah?" she answered.
"Yumi, Lyoko is in trouble and Aelita needs your help!" Jeremie panicked.
"Got it, I'm on my way."
Before she hung up, Jeremie asked, "Is Ulrich with you?"
"Nope...haven't seen him today." she lied. I know I shouldn't lie to our friends...but I'm afraid I will just break down...piece by piece, if I ever see you again...
"Okay, I'll see you later," Jeremie hung up.
Yumi began to run as fast as she could to the factory, when a man bumped into her, spilling his cup of mocha latte all over her.
"Ow..." she yelled.
"Watch where you're going!" the man yelled.
Yumi, so filled with anger, had burst into screaming. "Don't be an ass; we both know that you knocked your coffee all over me!"
"It's mocha and, why..., I would hate to be your mother." He grunted...and walked away. People these days...
"Well, I didn't know you were a woman!" she shouted back.
"YUMI ISHIYAMA!" she felt a hard smack right across her face, "How dare you speak to a man like that!"
"Mom..." Yumi realized...she had been walking past her house during the entire coffee incident. Unfortunately, her mother saw everything, "I...uh...I didn't mean to."
"No excuses, I'm quite stressful enough!" her mother glared at her, not angrily but disappointedly, "Go to your room, you're grounded!"
"But...I," Yumi began to beg.
"No buts! Just go upstairs! Now!" her mother interrupted, screaming with tears. She began to weep as Yumi turned away. What's wrong with mom?
Puzzled on what was wrong with her mom, Yumi went upstairs to her room. All of a sudden she heard the house phone ring.
RING! RING! "Yes?" her mother answered. "No, don't leave...how am I suppose to support Yumi alone?" she cried. "We can't divorce...I still love you!" she begged until the phone hung up on her. How can father leave my mom?
See...how heartbroken people can get, when they have to grow far apart from each other? I might not deserve your love...but my mom deserves my dad. I guess, to be loved, you have to be perfect. To me, you're perfect...I guess I will never be what you want me to be. No matter how hard I try...I will never deserve you...
Yumi, stressed in situations, she began to panic with fear. If she leaves her mother, there would be no one to comfort her, but if she doesn't go to Lyoko, Aelita would be done for! The soft cries of her mother droned in her head and Yumi tried to shake it out, but it was no use. She finally came out with a plan. First she would write a note to her mother, and then she would go to Lyoko to save Aelita. In the end, she hoped that when she returned to the past, she would be able to stop her mother from suffering before "the call" from her father was received.
Dear Mom,
Might not come back for a couple of hours! Please don't cry... you know that I will always love you. Who needs men anyway? Feel better ok?
Yours truly,
Yumi
RING! RING! "Yeah?"
"WHERE ARE YOU? HURRY! PLEASE? AELITA IS IN DANGER, THERE ARE KRABES EVERYWHERE!" someone yelled in a helpless cry.
"Sorry, I'm coming! Something just happened on the way," Yumi tried to explain, "By the way, did Ulrich show up yet?"
"No, I couldn't contact him all day!" Jeremie worriedly replied.
"Uh, how about Odd?"
"He'salreadyherebuthe'slosinglifepointsrapidly!" he said so quickly, that Yumi could not hear a word.
"What?" she asked, "Slow down!"
"Odd is losing life points really quickly!" he took a breath, "Aelita and I need you!"
"Alright, I'll come as fast as I can!"
Yumi closed her phone and began to sprint towards the sewer. As she got there she started to climb down the rusted-metal ladder. All of a sudden the ladder began to fall out of its wall, causing Yumi to fall down. Swiftly, she was able to land on her feet. Breathing in and out, calming herself down, she was able to move on after the "so-close injury". However this was the least of her worries.
She felt a hand touch her...it was a cold, gloomy and slimy kind of feeling. It made her freeze on the floor of the sewer. "Whose there?" she nervously turned around and asked. Her voice echoed repeatedly as Yumi tried not to shiver with fear.
Yumi didn't see anything at first, until she realized that there was a faint symbol in a cloud of smoke. Xana...She ran towards her skateboard and began to ride it as fast as she could possibly go. Knowing that, Xana's cloud of smoke was already widely engulfed, she tried to call Ulrich for help.
"Hello?"
Your voice...it reminds me when we were together, all the good times we had. When you used to always be there for me...when you used to always embrace me with your love. My cup is empty now...without you, I'm nothing but an empty cup. But when I was with you, my cup was always filled to the brim with felicity. Sometimes...my cup overflowed. I want to wash away my memories...ignore my heart which still lingers for you...Yet I still break down, just by the sound of your voice...
Slowly, Yumi hung up her phone and hugged it against her chest. Stretching her arm backwards as far as she could, she threw her cell into the mucky water of the sewer. She heard the device CLINK, on the bottom of the obscure floor and rode her skateboard as the smoke began to gain on her. The sewer's walls started to grow narrower and narrower, until an enormous block of dirt stopped the path. "SHIT!" Yumi cried.
This is the end for me; you didn't want me anywhere with you...so I guess your wish came true. You can live in bliss with Sissi now, I can't interfere anymore. This cloud of poison is my favorite gift of all...Knowing that your happiness will be eternal is the only thing my life needs... When you smile...I guess I should be smiling too.
Goodbye Ulrich, Goodbye forever...
I love you...
Curingangelx3: Okays then, leave tons of reviews for me if you like this new version.I'll be editing chapter 4 now! Check my profile for updates next time!