Disclaimer: I own nothing; Harry Potter and the elements of his universe all belong to J.K.Rowling. Firefly/Serenity and the elements of its universe all belong to Joss Whedon. I'm just borrowing the characters to play with for a while. This is for pleasure only, no profit is being made, and no copyright infringement is intended.

CHAPTER TWELVE – Standard Operating Procedure

Kaylee walked into the dining area and saw her boss sleeping on the table. She glanced back towards her boyfriend as he followed behind her. She filled a glass with water while Simon was peeking at the crusted drool sealing the Captain's cheek to the table it was laying on.

Kaylee leaned forward closer to Mal and cheerfully greeted far louder than was necessary, "Good morning, Captain!"

"Whuzzah?" Mal blurted out jerking his head up as his cheek scruff made a wet tearing sound and he yelped at the pain. "What? What's going on?"

Kaylee was just smiling and handed him the glass of water. "For your headache."

Mal took the glass gratefully and guzzled half of the thing down soothing his parched throat. He blinked a bit as his pupils were still adjusting to the light. "What headache?"

Kaylee's face showed her surprise and she asked, "No hangover? Really?"

Mal tasted the inside of his own mouth and he drank some more water. "I don't think so." Mal sat the glass down and stood up. He wobbled a bit at first as his muscles adjusted but he stretched his arms and legs and sat back down. "Not drunk anymore," Mal stated before a big yawn. "Guess it's just my lucky day."

"Morning, sir," Zoe said entering the dining room with a smile. "How's your headache?"

"Don't have one," Mal replied looking at Zoe curiously. "Must be my lucky day." The Captain paused for a moment scrutinizing his second in command and commenting, "Zoe, you know, you got something funny on your face there."

Zoe rubbed at her cheeks while noticing all the dried white spittle stuck on Mal's face and held in her snickers. "What's that, sir?"

"A smile," Mal replied with a grin, unaware the directions his hair was sticking in and how silly he looked.

Zoe's smile didn't falter for a moment as she retorted. "I've also got a gun, sir. In my holster. Loaded. With bullets."

"Yes you do," Mal agreed. "And I've seen that many times. It's just nice to see you with a smile for once. Feeling better today?"

Zoe nodded as her mind was still sorting through the details she remembered. "Yes sir, much better."

"Good," Mal grinned. "No headache?"

"No hangover at all," Zoe grinned back.

Mal smirked and nodded. "That's great. Now then, tell me," Mal's smile vanished and was replaced by righteous indignation. "Why the go tsao de did you leave me out here to get awoken and laughed at by the others?"

"Sir?" Zoe asked through her chuckling.

"You're up and clean, so I'm guessing you didn't get Cheery McSmiles-a-lot's loud wake-up call." Mal argued.

"Hey!" Kaylee sputtered.

Simon turned to his girlfriend. "That offended you?"

Kaylee stopped and realized that wasn't exactly insulting. "Cheery. That's a pretty name."

"It's too early for this!" Mal whined.

"It's twenty after eleven," Simon exclaimed after checking his watch.

"Really?" Mal said looking around at the three nodding heads. "Well then why didn't you wake me when you got up!"

Zoe shrugged. "I just woke up twenty minutes ago. I'm still trying to piece together what parts of last night were the alcohol, and what parts were Harry. Not sure how I got to bed."

"Maybe because Harry took ya," Jayne announced as he entered the dining area. "Morning Zoe. Morning…" Jayne stopped and did a double-take. "Damn Mal. Rough night?"

"Not too bad at all," Mal corrected him unaware his present state of appearance indicated otherwise. "And what do you mean Harry?"

"He and I talked for a while after you'd passed out," Zoe explained and turned to Jayne. "Did he take me to bed?"

"Maybe," Jayne shrugged. "Though I thought he walked there while you floated in the air behind him."

"She was floating in the air?" Simon clarified.

Jayne scratched his head. "Well it explains how she got to bed."

"It just raises the question of how a sleeping person could… float in the air."

"Maybe I hallucinated that part," Jayne seemed to consider.

"Yeah," Simon said with a nod. "Maybe."

"What did you two talk about?" Mal looked at Zoe with a frown.

"I think he said I was pretty," Jayne replied rubbing his chin in thought.

"I was asking Zoe," Mal corrected looking at Jayne oddly. "And please don't tell me any more of that conversation."

Jayne looked a bit embarrassed having misunderstood the question and perhaps sharing something more than he should have.

Simon opened his mouth to say something to Jayne then shut it abruptly. He turned to his girlfriend and opened his mouth again, before just admitting, "I don't feel very comfortable right now. I'm going to go."

Kaylee just snickered as Simon span around and made haste to leave the room.

Jayne, as expected, misinterpreted Kaylee's giggling. "Hey!" He called out as he followed Simon. "I told you about those dreams in confidence. Doctor-patient privilege you said!"

Kaylee stopped snickering and left her jaw hanging in surprise.

Mal watched the pair leave and commented, "And there's another conversation I don't want to know any more about."

"Did Jayne just…" Kaylee seemed at a loss for words.

"Yeah he did," Mal quickly replied. "Now what's this about Harry?"

Zoe was quite amused by this morning so far, and it only seemed to brighten her mood. "Nothing, sir. Just after you passed out last night, Harry joined me in drinking and we talked for a bit."

"What did you find out?" Kaylee grinned anxiously. "Did the alcohol loosen his lips and reveal some of the deep dark secrets of our new pilot?"

Zoe saw how excited Kaylee was and how upset Mal was getting. "With Harry, it's always hard to tell what's on the level and what's… unbelievable."

"Unbelievable-but-true unbelievable?" Kaylee retorted. "Or just plain unbelievable?"

Zoe was carefully considering her words, as she realized she didn't want to violate any trust Harry had placed in her, or secrets he wouldn't want to reveal. She weighed how to best respond and admitted, "Did you know fifteen years after Harry got married, his wife was kidnapped?"

Kaylee's grin faltered as she looked at Zoe oddly.

Zoe smiled and nodded. "Yeah, he rescued her shortly after and killed fifty-three people that day." Zoe shrugged. "Unless that's the whiskey talking."

"Kayleeeee!" Simon's voice begged from somewhere towards the back of the ship.

Kaylee smiled and waved goodbye to Mal and Zoe. "I think I need to go save my boyfriend." She squeezed Zoe's hand in a comforting manner as she left. "It is good to see you smiling."

Mal frowned now the more and more he saw Zoe's good mood. "You didn't sleep with him, did you?" Zoe's eyes' flaring was all the answer he needed as he threw up his arms and ducked his head to protect himself. "I'm sorry! I'm sorry. I just… needed to know."

Zoe closed her eyes and ground her teeth together. "Listen, Sir," she spat out the honorific as if it disgusted her. "Even if I did, it would be none of you gorram business. The idea is ridiculous. The fact that you were worried enough to voice your concern disappoints me to no end. And I would have drawn my gun just over the lack of respect for my husband, if I weren't already in such a gorram good mood!"

Mal winced and shrunk back with every exclamation Zoe made, regretting his stupid insinuation each time. He started to apologize but was interrupted by Zoe raising her hand to stop him. "I've had enough of you ruining my good mood for now, so respectfully sir, shut up." Zoe turned to leave and added, "You might want to know that I believe Harry is the reason we don't have headaches or hangovers." She left Mal sitting there alone and decided this might be a good time to talk to Inara. Inara always loved to complain and rip into the Captain.

Mal was still oblivious to his crusty cheek and messed hair everywhere. "Ah gos se. It's going to be that kind of lucky day."

"Harry?" The Captain called out walking onto the bridge. Mal turned towards the cot just in time to catch a ham cube in the eye.

"Tah-mah-duh huun-dan!" Mal cursed quietly as he hunched over and rubbed his ham-juice-irritated eye. "What the rut was that?"

River appeared right next to the Captain startling him. She whispered conspiratorially to Mal, "I don't know how he's aiming. But he refused to give me the bag."

River silently skulked to the other side of the room. "Harry?" she called out loudly.

Mal watched what appeared to be a sleeping Harry reach into his coat in front of him, and whip his hand back slinging a ham cube over his shoulder, directly at River. River hopped up and snagged the small piece of processed pork out of the air with her open mouth. She walked right over towards Mal, chewing up the small morsel. "It's uncanny," she whispered to Mal.

River stopped her walking just in front of the confused Captain still rubbing his eye. Again River called out, "Harry?"

Mal saw the sleeping man mechanically reach into the jacket pocket, just as River ducked to the ground. He barely realized what was going on when his good eye was viciously assaulted by another ham cube.

"Wun de tyen, ah!" Mal exclaimed loudly. "What the hell is going on? Harry!"

River's eyes were twinkling slightly as she settled herself gracefully into the co-pilot's chair.

Harry jumped up from the cot and snapped his head back and forth. "Whuzzah?" His entire body shivered and was immediately replaced with a far more focused and aware looking young man. "Captain! You look awful! Are you alright?"

Mal stopped rubbing his two reddened watery eyes and just gave Harry an incredulous look.

Harry saw River restraining an imperceptible smile with an air of innocence no one would believe. "Sir? Have you seen a mirror since you woke up?"

"No Harry, I haven't," Mal snapped back irritably. "And with the way you're chucking ham cubes I may never see one again!"

Harry gulped and mentally moved River's name a little higher on his revenge to-do list. "I'm so sorry, Captain. I thought you were River bugging me for the hundredth time while I was trying to sleep."

"Yeah," Mal replied sounded a bit more understanding. "I figured that much out. Listen Harry, it's fine. I just… I was wanting to talk to you."

"Sure, what's up?" Harry asked as he pulled a shirt on and put on his trusty coat.

"I…" Mal faltered and looked at River just staring at him curiously. "I…"

River rolled her eyes and got up. "Oh fine. I'll leave you little boys alone."

Mal was shocked. "You can do that?"

River grinned as she walked away exclaiming, "I'd go crazy if I couldn't get away from that thing." She was jerking her thumb towards Harry as she left to go check on her brother.

Harry shook his head and smiled at Mal. "Yes. Whatever would we do if she went crazy?"

Mal showed no response to the irony of the words and just let his watery eyes focus.

Harry was digging into one of his coat pockets, thinking he had a mirror in it. He explained, "We've got it to the point where I can be away from River for about four hours without needing to reinforce her mind shield." Harry handed Mal the pocket mirror. "Here you go."

"That's good news," Mal admitted before letting out a choking "gahh" sound as he caught sight of his pinkish eyes, crusted-over cheek, and hair sticking up like angled mohawk.

"Yup," Harry agreed. "It looks a bit like you passed out and slept on a table."

Mal handed Harry his mirror back and said, "Come talk to me while I wash up."

Harry followed the Captain back, wondering what he wanted to talk about. Harry looked around the Captain's bunk for the first time and idly thought 'spartan' would have been a generous description for it. Mal was splashing water on his face and cheek at his fold-out sink, while Harry inspected the few photos in the room. Harry saw one with most of the crew, including both Zoe's husband Wash, and a religious man Harry guessed was Shepherd Book. Harry's eyes focused on one of a much younger Sergeant Malcolm Reynolds in uniform along with Corporal Zoe and most likely several other members of the Balls and Bayonet Brigade.

"There's no one I'd rather have on my six than her," Mal said from behind Harry.

Harry turned around and saw Mal was looking much better, and his wet hair was at least laying flat. "You mind if I wash up, Captain?"

Mal stepped back and waved Harry over to his sink.

Harry was splashing the water on his face feeling a bit more alert after his rough sleep had been interrupted. "What's on your mind, Captain?"

"I did something real stupid this morning," Mal announced settling himself on the bed.

Harry dried off his face and turned to Mal. "How stupid?"

"I asked Zoe if she slept with you," Mal replied watching for Harry's response.

Harry groaned and shook his head. "That's pretty stupid."

"Yup."

"Certainly none of your business."

"This is my boat, and as it pertains to-"

Harry ignored Mal's attempt at a defense and added. "And on her anniversary too."

Mal stopped his argument and shut up.

"Even after the pair of you tried to drown your sorrows together."

"I know what happened, Harry."

"I'm just saying."

"I know."

"That's really stupid."

"I realize that."

"Zoe didn't want to talk to you, I take it?"

"I've ruined enough of her good mood already apparently."

Harry smiled. "I'm glad to hear she's in a good mood." Harry paused and quickly added, "Or at least was."

Mal sighed and looked up at Harry.

"Ahh," Harry nodded finally understanding. "It was my conversation with her that put her in a good mood, and since you're incapable of apologizing to her right now, you figure you'll apologize to the other party, her for-the-moment newest best friend."

"Something like that," Mal tiredly admitted. "Yeah."

"I've got a pretty tough hide. You don't need to worry about me." Harry waved him off. "And you know Zoe a lot better than I do, but even I know she'll get over this just fine."

"Yeah," Mal replied quietly. "She will."

"Relax, sir," Harry consoled him. "You are a male and as far as she is concerned, a superior officer. Stupid things are to be expected on occasion. I'll be sure and tell her you poured your heart out to me."

"Now hang on-"

"You begged me."

"I didn't-"

"She'll laugh and know that's a bit of an exaggeration, but enjoy the mental image. She'll forgive you and be treating you normally before lunchtime."

Mal paused and seemed a bit hopeful at the expediency of the process. "Really?"

Harry smiled at Mal's apprehensive question. "Yes, really. But you need to remember we all do stupid things so that we learn from them, and do not do them again."

"I figured that part out."

"Zoe's been depressed over losing her husband," Harry explained.

"I hardly think that's unexpected," Mal retorted. "Even after a couple years."

"True, but you've been making it worse for her."

"Excuse me?"

"Nothing intentional, don't think I'm trying to accuse you here. But the problem is how much of the fun in her life, the balance she sought out and found enjoyment in things, came from Wash. You've been probably continuing on thinking the normalcy and routine of life will help her through her grief and mourning."

Mal stopped and again felt like a student of life from a boy younger than him.

"But without the happiness in her life, she's not getting that balance again." Harry continued. "She needs to have more fun, and do more of the fun things she used to do with Wash."

"I think I've already tread too far into that territory." Mal wryly commented.

"Not that," Harry waved him off. "The other stuff, the things that give you a reason to smile and laugh. I've been in River's mind. I've seen how differently Zoe acts when it's just River around. You just need to remember all the times Wash pulled Zoe away for a night on the town, or a day at the spa. Without him, she's not getting out and doing as many of the things that made her smile."

Mal could see what Harry was saying, and wondered aloud, "When did you become such a Zoe expert?"

Harry shrugged. "We talked for probably three hours early this morning. It was fun getting to hear about meeting Wash, and Serenity's first couple years with just you and Bester around."

"She talked about Wash?" Mal asked incredulously.

Harry nodded. "I'm guessing the whiskey helped a fair amount, but yeah, she did." Harry saw Mal looked almost irritated at the idea and broached the unspoken tension. "Listen, Captain, I can tell you're worried I'm going to replace you as Zoe's friend. Simon's always looking at me like I'm going to replace him as River's older brother, and River's always looking at me like I'm going to replace her as the dangerous and touched in the head pilot."

Mal held in a snort having already assigned Harry that last title.

"I'm not here to replace anyone," Harry said. "I'm just trying to fit in. There are going to be areas where, as unlikely as it may seem, I have far more expertise and understanding than any of the rest of the crew. You let me know if I'm crossing a line. This is your boat, and you are the Captain."

Mal felt pride every time he heard that. "And you seem to keep making yourself more useful." He said with a smile. "Now you claim you can get Zoe treating me normally before lunchtime? Because it's just about noon now."

Harry grinned and walked over to an intercom and pressed the button. "Zoe?" Harry echoed throughout the ship. "Please meet me in the dining area at your earliest convenience."

Harry led Mal back towards the area and they arrived just as Zoe and Inara walked in. Zoe's smile dropped from her face and she held an expression lacking all emotion when she saw Mal. "Thank you for whatever hangover cure that was," Zoe stoically intoned towards Harry.

"My pleasure," Harry grinned and saw Inara was making no effort to hide her displeasure towards Mal. "Anyways, I just thought you should know the Captain came up to me, lamenting how stupid he had been this morning, and basically poured out his heart to me."

"That must not have taken very long," Zoe said coldly without even glancing at Mal.

"He was very open, honest, and vulnerable," Harry argued while his eyes were twinkling in delight. "It was really quite pathetic. He was even begging me for forgiveness."

Zoe's mouth twitched for a moment.

Harry nodded. "I've talked it over with the Captain, and I got him to agree to go down on his knees and admit that he was being terribly stupid, it will never happen again, and then…" Harry paused and considered for a moment, tilting his head. "Pay for you and Inara to spend the rest of the day at the nicest spa in Persephone. I assured him that you would probably be willing to admit that he is a member of the male gender and therefore, these occasional cases of idiocy are beyond his control."

Zoe was clearly fighting a smile. "On his knees? Really?"

"Now hang on a second-" Mal whispered angrily at Harry.

"I'm listening," Zoe said calmly staring at the Captain.

"Zoe," Mal began. "You know I-"

Zoe turned towards Harry and frowned. "This doesn't look like his knees to me."

"Fine!" Mal snapped and fell to his knees. He banged them harder than he was expecting and yelped a little in pain. He was rewarded with not any looks of sympathy, but two vindictive smiles and an innocent expression of mischief from Harry. "Zoe," he began again. "You know I didn't mean it the way it came out. I am sorry. I am stupid... and it won't happen again."

Zoe's hard expression seemed to relax for a moment and she agreed. "I know it won't. Now get up, sir. You look ridiculous down there."

Mal accepted Zoe's offered hand of help as he rose back up to his feet. He was rubbing his right knee, "Think I banged my kneecap out of place."

Zoe made no smarmy comment and seemed to almost sympathize with him. She held out her hand expectantly.

Mal looked at it in confusion. "What's that?"

"I need money to pay for our spa," Zoe replied. "I wouldn't think the nicest one in these parts is very cheap either."

Mal gave Harry a dirty look, who just smiled innocently in response. "At least you don't have to carry her shopping bags," Harry replied making his vengeful irony abundantly clear.

"Let me get it from my bunk," Mal reluctantly agreed and left Harry alone with the two women.

"So I get a free day at the spa too?" Inara inquired with a wicked grin.

Harry shook his head. "Nope. You get a day at the spa in exchange for joining us on a little job robbing Blue Sun."

"Zoe told me," Inara assured him. "You think it'll be as easy as it sounds?"

Harry laughed. "Of course not! It's never that easy!"

"Harry," Zoe smiled and shook her head. "This one is your idea. You're supposed to be a beacon of unwavering optimism."

"Well," Harry admitted. "It should work just fine. But I know enough to know it's never as easy as it sounds."

"I'm in," Inara admitted. "I think we could use a little fun around here."

"Excellent!" Harry cheered. "In that case, you two lovely ladies should be ready for a late dinner tonight. I'll cook."

Mal returned with a small pouch of platinum. He handed it to Zoe, "I'm hoping for some change."

"You know Captain," Zoe retorted taking the money from him. "You can keep all your hopes in one hand and then-"

"Say 'thank you,' Zoe," Harry interrupted loudly knowing exactly where the snippy widow was headed.

"Thank you, sir," Zoe did reminding herself that Mal was a man and an idiot. "And thank you, Harry." Zoe turned around and hooked arms with Inara as they left for the rest of the day.

"Don't forget to be back for a late dinner! Let's say eleven!" Harry called out to them. Both girls waved back indicating that they heard him and continued on whispering to each other.

"We're having dinner at eleven?" Mal asked, momentarily putting off berating Harry.

Harry nodded. "Yup. We should stay up pretty late tonight and sleep through most of the day tomorrow."

"Inara agreed?"

Harry nodded triumphantly. "Yes sir, tomorrow night we're going to work for Blue Sun."

"I don't want any surprises Harry," Mal said accepting Harry's proclamation.

"Me neither," Harry replied. "So I thought you and me would get together with Frank today and make sure everything's all set."

"Oh joy," Mal sighed. "It must be my lucky day."

"Everyone knows what they're doing?" Harry clarified to the seven faces staring back at him as the group of eight trekked towards the ration pack processing plant on Three Hills.

Murmurs of agreement and small nodding were his only reply.

"Everyone remembers their new names and histories?" Harry asked. "More than likely we won't need them, but better to play it safe."

Jayne spoke up proudly, "I'd just like to reiterate how much I appreciate the effort Mr. Universe put into picking our names."

"Oh no you don't," Harry's fancy communicator called out. "Don't you blame me for this one. Those names were all picked by Harry."

"You shut up, you liar," Harry snapped back at the device in his hand. "I'm real. I exist in the physical world. You just want them to like you, so you make up lies."

"Can't we just pick new names?" Inara asked again.

"No, you can't," Mr. Universe's voice called out from Harry's handheld device. "These are the names Harry chose way back when I began creating work profiles for all of you. It'd be too suspicious if you all had personnel reports at the same time, so I've been randomly inserting them over the past five days."

"These are the names you chose," Harry chided towards his communicator looking like a crazy spoiled child. "And besides, my name is Larry."

"I'm Rambo," Jayne cheered happily.

"Yes Rambo," Simon tiredly said. "We know you like your name."

"Rambo," Jayne said again.

"And just for the record," River added. "I'd like to say that I do not believe artificial intelligence has regressed to the point that they make bad puns."

"Bad puns?" Harry asked in mock confusion. "Oh, I get it! Your name is Brooke, like a stream or babbling brook, another name for a small river. Geez, Frank, you're trying awfully hard to be clever, aren't you?"

"No! You're trying too hard to be clever, you lying sack of meat!"

"Listen, digital boy," Harry snapped back. "You're the one-"

"Children!" Mal hissed loudly. "Please. We're here. Now be quiet and behave."

"The Captain's right," Harry agreed, dropping his immature anger and began acting serious. "Now we'll be walking past the second shift getting off work, and they're probably tired and quiet. So just nod, grunt, and try not to say anything stupid."

"He's talking to you, Rambo," Zoe deadpanned at Jayne.

Jayne frowned playfully. "Oh whatever, Bri-"

"Don't say it," Zoe spat out in a whisper, cursing her lack of weapon at the moment.

Everyone readjusted their security badges and nametags, feeling the nervousness of committing a good crime and doing it without a single gun.

Harry led the way in, while everyone else just followed him with their heads down. Harry made eye contact with the dozen or so people they walked past and just kept nodding them silent greetings.

They received a few grunts in reply, but no words were exchanged other than Jayne quietly muttering "Rambo."

The second shift workers were exiting the security checkpoint when a short Chinese looking man with thick glasses and a clipboard walked right up to them.

"Mr. Johnson?" Harry greeted the man with a smile.

"That's me," he happily replied. "Dick Johnson, chief foreman for third shift today, at your service. Though my friends all call me Wang."

"Wang?" Mal asked before he could stop himself.

The short man nodded eagerly. "I used to work with another Dick and two other Johnsons so they just called me by my mother's maiden name. Now, which one of you is Larry Lovegood?"

River couldn't hold in a snort, having not realized what Harry's last name was going to be. Harry snapped an angry stare at her, before raising his hand and putting on a fake smile. "Guilty as charged, Wang. I'm Larry," Harry said extending his arm to shake hands with the little guy. "Let me introduce you to some of my friends here. The bloated looking one with the chubby sinuses and all the snorting problems is Brooke. She's a sweetheart deep down, but this time of the month she's as pleasant as a hippo in a glass museum." Harry explained honestly to his new friend Wang, as he slung his arm around the shorter man's shoulder.

Harry ignored River's thinned lips and dangerous stare. "Next to her is the most bubbly cup of stinksap you'll ever find. That there's Gay," Harry said pointing to Kaylee. "She's awful sweet on the only member of our team who still lives with his mother, Oglethorpe over there."

Simon forced himself to smile, though he was breathing loudly through his nostrils.

"Next to him, in that dashing and cunning hat, which he knows is not allowed on the workroom floor, is the muscle of our crew. His name is Rambo," Harry said nodding at Jayne.

"Rambo," Jayne cheered back at Harry.

"Nice to meet you Rambo," Wang said with a smile, pleased to see someone who was not purpling silently in anger.

"Rambo," Jayne said in lieu of a proper greeting back.

"Next we have the newlyweds who just got back from their honeymoon last weekend," Harry grinned pointing to Mal and Inara. "Mr. and Mrs. Sal and LaQueesha Azar."

Wang just nodded uncertainly, while Mal looked at Harry in frustration mouthing, "Newlyweds?"

"And last but certainly not least," Harry grinned and pointed to a clearly unamused Zoe, "is a very good friend of mine, who has never been a big fan of her name, so we just call her Peaches."

Zoe's eyes widened and she bit the inside of her lip to keep herself from saying anything she might regret.

Wang looked at Zoe and then back to Harry. His curiosity got the better of him and he asked, "Not that it's any of my business, but I was wondering why you don't like your name?"

Zoe glared at Harry but held a pleasant smile for Wang. "I'm sorry Mr. Johnson, but it's kind of personal."

"You know what?" Harry jumped in. "Why don't we finish the paperwork in your office, Wang?" Harry leaned down towards Wang and whispered like they were best friends in on a private joke. "I'll tell you everything in there."

Wang waved to the unsmiling group of seven, who seemed to be grinding their teeth in rhythm with the tall man who kept repeating his own name. Wang whispered back to Harry as they walked, "So what is her name?"

Harry smiled back at Zoe and made sure she could hear him when he answered back, "Who... Peaches? Oh that's just Brittany Britney Cocoapuff."

Wang shivered as heard it. "Ouch. I can see why. Wait, did she used to make... you know, movies?"

The pair disappeared into a closed door meeting.

Mal just shook his head. "When did this become a good idea?"

"Oh have a little faith," Harry grinned exiting the office after barely two seconds in there. "We're all good here. Frank?"

Harry's communicator spoke up again for the first time. "Everyone's checked out past security. You guys are good to go."

"See? Smooth as ice," Harry grinned. "River, you and Kaylee are to quietly go back and bring Serenity around to the loading docks. The rest of you are with me. You all know where you're supposed to be?"

"Rambo!" Jayne cheered.

"What about Wang?" Mal asked.

Harry shook his head. "What about him? I've gotten all the information out of him that we need. He's going to piece it all together when first shift comes around, and he'll be unconscious until then."

"You were in there less than three seconds!" Mal snapped.

"I'm good," Harry said with a shrug. He motioned back towards the assembly area with his head. "Come on. Let's get to work."

They all knew their roles and they were trained in their positions. Inara was prepping the first machine that spat out the processed bricks of food. Simon's job was to first fire up the generator and get power going to the entire system, and then assist Inara in cranking them out. Mal was working alone in the middle, maintaining the shrink-wrap and ensuring the federal government stamp never mysteriously turned itself on. Jayne and Zoe were at the end of the line, boxing, loading, and moving. Harry's job was to stick with Mr. Universe and go back and forth to all the areas as needed.

Naturally, Simon's repeated tries with the generator couldn't get a connection started, and Harry had to get obtuse and useless directions from Mr. Universe on how to start it. After shaking his head and ignoring Mr. Universe yelling out the instructions to igniting this particular generator, Harry just kicked the thing hard-enough to dent his steel toed boot. The generator began chugging loudly as the entire working area lit up with light and sound.

Next Harry was calming down a neurotic Companion who was acting as though there was theme music cheering her on. The first few substances to come out of the machine were more of a pink soupy mess than anything recognizable or solid. A few choice words with his communicator and Harry kicked that machine really hard as well.

Mal was making a pained face as he was trying to clean up the colorful sludge that was clogging and bottlenecking his area. Harry was tempted to kick the table legs, but that would just send the pink mess flying, probably up and onto the Captain's face and occasionally open mouth. While highly entertaining, this was an idea Harry elected to pass on for the moment.

Jayne and Zoe were waiting at the end of the line with pallets, a forklift, work gloves, an eager smile and one emotionless stoic look of mild disinterest. Jayne gave Harry a thumbs-up, and Harry could tell that Jayne was still thinking the word "Rambo" even if he'd finally stopped saying it aloud.

Within ten minutes they had things running smoothly, and the first pallet was already two rows deep. Things were actually coming together.

River and Kaylee showed up and helped Zoe and Jayne loading up the boxes. There were a few hiccups along the way, with the vast majority fixed by Harry's steel toed boots, but in just under two hours they had the first pallet filled to the brim. Jayne manned the forklift and loaded it onto Serenity to the sound of applause and cheers.

They spent another hour and a half filling their second pallet. They were finishing up and debating whether to do a third when Mr. Universe's voice broke through the joyous mood. "Harry! We got a problem here. A bad problem."

"What's up?" Harry said grabbing his communicator immediately. "I'm listening."

"There's no government flight plan, coordination, or logs of any incoming forces, but an Alliance protected vehicle snuck up on us cloaked and just showed up on the short range sensors. You've got company heading your way any second now, and if they're Alliance, not Blue Sun, but off the books, then it's probably…"

Harry looked up just in time to see a very confident looking Chinese man dressed like a warrior. Harry finished Mr. Universe's sentence announcing, "An operative."

The Chinese man raised an eyebrow at Harry and immediately startled with recognition at the sight of River Tam. When he turned towards her, Harry saw behind the man and immediately corrected himself. "Make that two operatives."