Please forgive me for the lack of updates. I've been major league busy with college, university applications and home stuff. And having my computer break didnt help lol. So now I'm back from the dead with two updates and 'Popularity doesn't Matter' will be updated either tomorrow or tuesday, I promise. It just depends on whether I have more free time on monday or tueday. But that will be updated. Anyway, enough of the unwanted waffle, heres chapter 3 of 'Goodbye my Lover'.
XxXxX
Chapter 3: Giving the Cold Shoulder
I guess I could be called naïve for thinking that a simple prayer could stop me from facing a fear. And I could also be called daft. If it didn't work for the rest of the world then why would it work for me? But as fate would have it, I did bump into him again. And I'm glad I did, because if I hadn't, none of this would've happened. Even if the ending broke my heart, I don't regret a single thing that happened.
XxXxXMy art session that morning passed quickly, much to my disappointment. I'm going to have to face Selphie now. Her and this notion that she and Tidus are soul mates. As much as I love her, its beginning to bore me and annoy me.
Its gone 12 and after a 2 hour session on pottery, I'm absolutely starving. Walking into the cafeteria, I notice Sora and Namine sitting at a table, neither taking their eyes of the other. I roll my eyes and laugh inwardly. Two love sick puppies.
Placing my bag on the floor, I sit next to Sora, its enough of a distraction to pull him away from Namine for a moment.
"Hey Kai. How was the session?"
"Okay, can't wait to eat though." I stand up again and go join the cue.
"Hey Kairi." I turn to my right and see Selphie grabbing a tray and standing next to me.
"Hey."
"Listen, I'm really sorry about before. I didn't mean to say it like that. I guess I wasn't thinking. I just-"
"Its okay Selphie. Its kind of my own fault for being so uptight about it."
"But you have your reasons, which we all understand fully."
"Pity that no one else does." Selphie looks around to see what I see. People are watching me. Whispering to their companions about me behind their hands. Slating me obviously. I bet they think I deserved it. They all knew how my drinking was because of parties and rumour around the campus. But I didn't care then, I just went back into myself. But now…when that shell is so broken, everything hits a little deeper.
"Ignore them. They clearly don't know what's good for them. If they start saying anything to you, they'll have me to deal with." I laughed slightly. I walk back over and sit next to Sora again where Yuna and Yuffie had now joined the table.
"Okay. Now this is going to sound totally stupid, but my cousin transferred to here for his last year," Sora said.
"Why for the last year?" Yuffie asked.
"The teachers couldn't keep up with his talent." A laugh went up around the table. "Anyway, I said to him that I'd introduce him to you guys. He should be here soon."
"What's he like?" Selphie asked. I knew what was coming. Another guy for her to get her claws into.
"Not another guy for you to date Selphie, that's for sure." I laugh at the look on Selphie's face.
"Being serious here," Yuna began, "what's he like?"
"He's cool. I know you'll like him." Oh joy, a lad for the group. I already feel the insecurities rise up within me. "I've told him all about you guy's."
"Everything?" I ask hesitantly.
"Not everything," Sora says, understanding what I mean.
"Well, it wont be long until he finds out anyway," I mutter.
"Don't worry Kai," Namine says. "It'll be fine." I murmur a response.
"Hey Sora," I hear a voice say. Looking at Selphie, I see her eyes light up. Not a good sign. Poor guy doesn't know what he's letting himself in for.
"There you are," Sora said, standing up. I look at the rest of the group, looking for indications as to how I should react to the guy standing behind me. "Guy's, this is Roxas. Roxas, my friends."
I finally turn around and my apple drops from my grip. Its him. The guy I was praying I would never see again. His blue eyes focus on me, realisation passing through them. I gulp and smile hesitantly. He returns the smile confidently, his perfect grin catching me by surprise. I feel heat rise to my cheeks for some reason. Oh crap.
"That's Selphie, that's Yuna and Yuffie. That's Namine and that's Kairi in front of you," Sora said, naming each of us in turn around the table.
"Hi," Roxas says.
"So you're the guy who teachers cant keep up with?" Selphie asks. Great first question Selphie, but Roxas just laughs.
"So they say."
"Sit down," Sora says, offering Roxas his seat. I freeze slightly as Roxas sits down and his elbow brushes my arm.
"So, you're Kairi?" he says to me. I turn to him and just nod. Sora is the only male I have had a proper conversation with since that night, so this is making me really uncomfortable. "Sorry about before."
"Its over and done with now."
"So, when I asked you what you were doing at lunch, I guess I know now." He laughs but I don't join in. "Are you okay?"
"Fine." I turn to Selphie. "I have to go. I'll see you all later." I pick up my bag and walk off. I feel their eyes on my back, but for some reason, I feel his more.
XxXxXI'm sitting on the bleachers by the sports field. My still uneaten apple is sitting in my hand, and I have a feeling I still won't be eating it. I sigh and roll my eyes. I dump my apple back in my bag and rest my head in my hands.
Those eyes where still burned in my brain. No matter what I did, I couldn't erase them. My mind refused to let them go. I let out an annoyed cry.
"Stressed?" I jump slightly and my heart starts pounding. A male voice. Images flash through my mind and my breathing becomes fast and laboured. Another panic attack.
I feel a hand on my shoulder and it worsens. Black spots begin to appear in front of my eyes and the world starts spinning. I see a brown lunch bag handed to me and I take it. I begin to breath into it.
"That's it. Just breath. You need to stay calm." I close my eyes and breathing becomes easier. I open my eyes and the world stop spinning. I look to my right to see who helped me and I see those eyes again. My breathing becomes fast again.
"No, don't do that. You have to stay calm or you'll get another attack." I shake my head and mutter something. "Come again?" I moved the bag away.
"Why are you here?"
"I fancied a walk." I raise my eyebrow. "Okay, I lied. I came to find you. Why did you leave lunch so quickly?"
"I have my reasons." I stand up and grab my bag.
"You're doing it again. Leaving for no reason."
"I have a reason."
"What?" Damn it. Why cant I think of an excuse? Stupid brain. "Listen, its been an hour since the cafeteria. I've learnt that Yuffie has this strange obsession with martial arts. Yuna loves history and she owns a set of guns, I didn't really dig into that too much, it frightened me slightly." I laughed slightly. "Namine is kinda quiet. She seems to pay attention to Sora a lot though. Wonder why." I can tell he knows why. "Selphie is…scary, to say the least."
"That's the impression most people get when they first meet her."
"She seems crazy about lads. Some Tidus dude in particular. She thinks he's her soul mate."
"She's said that about the last six guys too."
"Sora, I know very well for obvious reasons. But you…you're the mystery. The others wouldn't tell my anything. But I guess you're not a people person."
"You don't know the half of it," I mutter under my breath.
"What?"
"Its nothing. Why do you want to know anyway?"
"I guess you could say I'm intrigued."
"About…?"
"About why you walk around in a shell and wont let anyone in."
I immediately seize up. I go cold and stand back up.
"I need to go."
"Don't."
"What? Do you think I'll open up to you? Do you think I'm going to spill open my soul to some random stranger when the only thing I know about you is your name? Well your wrong. If I cant open up to my best friend, what makes you think I'll open up to you?" I start to make my way down the bleachers.
"No. You don't have to open up. I just want to be friends."
"This isn't the sixth grade. You can't go around asking people to be your friend anymore."
"Don't be so uptight."
"Uptight?"
"I ask you a simple question and you get all up on the defensive."
"I have a right to 'get all up on the defensive' after all the shit I've been through. There, is that open enough for you. My life has been one crap heap after another. Is that good enough?" I storm past him and jump the last row.
"Kairi." I hear him say my name into the wind. It sounds so…perfect…coming from him. So simple and clean. The way I wish my life was. I carry on walking though. I don't look back. He's stopped following me but his voice wont leave my head.
"About…?"
"About why you walk around in a shell and wont let anyone in."
It sounds so wrong coming from somebody else. I've never had anyone say it open and upfront to me like Roxas did.
And the way he said my name. Perfection.
As if its meant to be. My name only ever coming from his lips.
Maybe that's why it hurts so much.
One small, insignificant thing seeps into my shell and stays there. But that small, insignificant thing is the biggest problem.
Its perfect buts its so wrong.
That's why it hurts so much.
XxXxX
Well, what did you think? Read and Review please. Adios x x x