Disclaimer: I own nothing; Harry Potter and the elements of his universe all belong to J.K.Rowling. Firefly/Serenity and the elements of its universe all belong to Joss Whedon. I'm just borrowing the characters to play with for a while. This is for pleasure only, no profit is being made, and no copyright infringement is intended.

CHAPTER FIFTEEN – The Book of Jayne

The crew of the space transport vehicle Serenity could only watch in silent shock as their green-eyed pilot tapped Mrs. Cobb on the head with his fused magical wands. It appeared as though the seven silent observers were working with a collective brain. All seven pairs of eyes widened when Jayne's mom woke up and they turned to look at Harry. When she greeted him with a "Hello?" and he responded with an explosion of light and crackling energy funneled straight into her body, all seven jaws dropped and they just gaped. They were aware Mrs. Cobb was screaming, but they couldn't tear their eyes away from the scene. Mrs. Cobb's body was changing before their eyes. Her complexion was regaining color, wrinkles seemed to disappear, and muscle tone grew right before their eyes.

Eventually Courtney Cobb had stopped screaming, and they could see the sweat dripping from Harry's brow. He looked pale and exhausted as he was shaking the wands. Finally, Harry stopped and looked up directly at Jayne, flashing him a smile and thumbs up.

This snapped Jayne out of his daze. He turned over towards the Captain and asked, "Did he just call Mom a homo?"

Mal watched Harry crack his head pretty hard and turned to Jayne, "I seriously doubt…" Mal began and paused completely at a loss. He gave up trying with a shrug of his shoulders and just walked over to make sure Harry wasn't bleeding profusely. Not to mention check on the status of the eerie-ass glassy-eyed stare from Mrs. Cobb.

"Courtney?" Sue called loudly from upstairs.

Zoe stepped forward to take care of him before things got out of hand. "Mr. Cobb?" Zoe greeted, halting him from coming down the stairs. "Don't worry. Your wife is fine…" Zoe trailed off as she led Sue and Matty back up to their dead-squirrel-filled living room.

River rolled her eyes. "He wasn't calling her anything. That was just the incantation for the spell. You know, like Legilimens."

"That's a spell?" Simon asked in shock.

Mal waved his hand in front of Courtney Cobb, gaining no response. He leaned in closer to look at her. "I think she's unconscious."

"Her eyes are open!" Jayne exclaimed.

"Thank you, Doctor," Mal snapped at Jayne, before giving Simon a significant look.

Simon jerked in surprise remembering what was going on. "Oh right. Let's take a look at her."

Simon could see that Mrs. Cobb's pupils were dilated and non-responsive. "Actually…" he diagnosed quietly. "I think she's just asleep."

"Gorram," Jayne said getting a closer look at his mom. "She looks thirty years younger."

Simon drew blood from her arm and had to agree. "Her muscle atrophy seems to have… vanished."

"That magic gos se is rutting amazing," Jayne whispered, not wanting to be overheard.

Simon dumped half of the blood drawn into a small vial. He added a couple of small crystals and corked it. "Kaylee, honey? You mind holding this up to the light? It's probably going to take a couple minutes before you'll see a change."

Kaylee agreed immediately and held it up to light on the wall.

Simon moved down and took a look at the unconscious wizard. After checking the tenderness of the back of Harry's head, Simon took Harry's pulse and found it to be a little weak but very steady. He checked Harry's reflexes and even looked at Harry's eyes by lifting the lids. "I'm pretty sure Harry is in a low grade coma," Simon shrugged. "But I'm guessing this is normal if he knew he was going to be unconscious for forty-eight hours."

Simon turned to his sister. "Mei-mei? You doing okay?"

River nodded with a slight frown. "I can tell his shield is slowly degrading, but it'll last a while longer."

"Oh wow!" Kaylee said excitedly examining the vial of blood. "They're so pretty. It's glittering."

"You can see flakes?" Simon said jerking his head up.

Kaylee nodded, spinning the vial between her thumb and forefinger. "They're all silver and… shimmering."

"They're silver? You're certain?"

"Yup," Kaylee assured him.

"Not white? Or yellow?"

Kaylee shook her head determined. "Nope, silver."

"What's that, Doc?" Jayne asked heatedly. "What's silver mean?"

Simon shook his head imagining the consequences. "She's still got Beckmans." Simon quickly clarified when he saw Jayne's face fell. "It's stage I though, not stage IV. Stage I is so weak no one notices they have it. It's less than a cold." Simon smiled to see Jayne's face blossom in a way that would usually scare the bejeebus out of Simon. "A couple weeks of antibiotics and she'll be the picture of perfect health."

"You mean it?" Jayne asked. "This is… this is…"

"IT'S A MIRACLE!" Courtney Cobb shrieked loudly as her body jerked forward, sitting up from the bed.

"Aahh!" Inara shrieked back, unprepared for the woman she had been leaning over to examine, to even be awake.

Mrs. Cobb was blinking her eyes, adjusting to the light. She was lifting and flexing her hands and arms. "I felt the healing power flow through me!"

Jayne covered his mouth and whispered firmly to the people near him. "Remember, we're spies."

Mrs. Cobb gasped and clutched her heart staring at the ceiling. Then she gasped and clutched it again.

"Mrs. Cobb?" Simon asked franticly.

She quickly turned to Simon and smiled brightly. "Yes, Dr. Tam?"

"Are you feeling okay?"

"Never better," she nodded, grinning without falter. "Did you all see the… the flicker? And the scars on his forehead?"

River was nodding while Mrs. Cobb smiled adding, "You know where you get scars like that, don't you?"

River quirked her mouth and guessed, "Evil, dark magic?"

Jayne was about to yell at River about her poor performance in sticking to the plan, when his mom snapped back, "No!" She clutched her hands together tightly and happily answered. "Cuts like those…" Her voice dropped to a whisper as she reverently said, "You only get cuts like those from the Crown of Thorns."

"Excuse me?" Inara squeaked.

"Jesus is back!" Courtney proclaimed joyously. "Hallelujah! And traveling with my…" Courtney gasped again unaware of the complete looks of disbelief on everyone else's face. "My Jaynie! A new Apostle!"

"Aww shucks," Jayne blushed and looked down.

"Jayne," Mal said incredulously.

Jayne looked up and saw Mal's less than pleased look. Jayne remembered the plan. "Listen Mom," Jayne explained to his teary-eyed ecstatic looking mother. "It's… it's…" Jayne bit his lip unable to break his mom's heart. "You gotta keep this a secret, Mom."

"Oh Jayne," Courtney sighed in bliss.

"Oh Jayne," Simon spat out in disgust.

"Harry's not big on exposure right now," Jayne quickly argued. "And he's first trying to shake off the rust on his miracle-working skills," Jayne motioned towards his mother, "as you can see. It's why you can't tell anyone. Not even Matty, not even Dad."

Courtney was looking at her son solemnly. "I don't know if I can do that. I share everything with your father, with all of the family."

Kaylee decided to help and suggested, "Think of this as a test of faith."

Courtney gained the necessary resolve and nodded. She held her arms out towards her son, silently calling for him. Jayne rushed forward and embraced her, while she squeezed him in a tight hug when he got close enough. "I'm so proud of you, Jaynie."

Jayne looked as happy as he does whenever he cleans Vera. "Thanks Mom," he replied quietly from her shoulder.

Courtney leaned back and looked her son in the eye. "Are you going to be writing about your travels?"

Jayne shrugged. "Uhh… sure."

Courtney's face split into another wide smile. "The Book of Jayne. I can't wait to read it."

"Oh it'll be a real page turner," Mal helpfully added.

"Book of Jayne," Jayne echoed happily.

"What?" Courtney asked.

"Rambo."

"Wuh de tyen, ah," Mal muttered rubbing the bridge of his nose, fighting the oncoming headache.

"Hmm?" Courtney repeated, her confusion growing.

Jayne again repeated gleefully, "Book of Jayne."

"Shouldn't we be doing something about Harry?" Kaylee suggested, while pointing to the wizard crumpled on the floor in a weak coma.

Courtney whipped her head around the bed and saw her savior unconscious on the floor. She shouted angrily, "You just left him there!" Courtney jumped up out of her bed with a youthful energy beyond her years. She bent down and picked Harry up, hefting him into the warm spot she'd vacated on her bed.

The rest of the crew just watched from the sidelines, unable to believe the hidden strength Jayne's mother possessed.

"Well," Simon pointed out hopelessly. "I think that answers any questions we had about atrophy."

"What's wrong with him? What can we do?" Courtney asked franticly looking at everyone else for assistance.

"Nothing," Simon explained. "Harry told us that… this miracle would probably knock him out for at least a couple days."

Courtney again gasped, squeezing her hands together in awe. "And on the third day he shall rise again, in fulfillment of the-"

"Book of Jayne," Jayne interrupted his mom and finished for her.

Mal turned towards Inara and sighed. "This is going to be a long couple of days, isn't it?"

"Maybe you can sneak away and work on the Gospel according to Mal," Inara said with a smile.

"Oh," Courtney cheered as she got up. "Wait till I tell Sue!"

"Mom!" Jayne curtly insisted. "Secret?"

Courtney slapped a hand over her mouth. "Oh right. Darn. This is going to be hard for me, isn't it?"

Simon handed her a bottle of small pills. "Take two a day. One in the morning, and one with dinner. There's enough here for two weeks. You'll probably feel fine, but you need to finish off this medication."

"Thank you, Dr. Tam," Courtney said accepting the pills. "Oh lordy, how are we going to explain this to Sue? And Matty?"

Everyone turned to Jayne and was waiting on him.

Jayne just shook his head. "No idea."

Mal closed his eyes again, while Inara answered, "They already know we were trying an experimental technique that Jayne got approval from our higher-ups to attempt."

"Ooh!" Courtney giggled. "Higher-ups! I get it!"

"Right," Inara said, trying to stem Mal's irritation. "As I was saying, we'll just explain that it worked, but for the sake of universal security we need to keep it secret for a while longer. No further explanation necessary."

"Oh that's good," Jayne admitted. "As spies, we can't answer any more questions."

"It's what we already agreed on," Inara said giving Jayne an incredulous look.

Kaylee smiled and added, "Well, cover stories or secrets aside, I'm just glad to see you doing so well, Mrs. Cobb."

"Thank you… umm…" Courtney trailed off and looked at her son expectantly.

Jayne looked around for a moment before slapping himself in the face. "Tzao gao! I'm sorry Mom." Jayne began pointing around the room. "Mom, I'd like you to meet Kaylee, Mal, Inara, you already know Simon, and that's his sister, River, staring at Harry's eyelids."

"Nice to meet you all," she said with a brilliant grin. "Please call me Courtney."

Mal smiled tightly at her and nodded. "Zoe's the one upstairs, keeping your husband from rushing down here. Perhaps we should…"

"Oh yes!" Courtney agreed. "Let's!" She was already halfway up the stairs when she stopped and turned to the others. "Are you sure he's going to be alright?"

Simon muttered, "I'm not sure he was alright to begin with," earning him a slap from his sister. Simon answered firmly louder, "It's really in his hands not ours."

"Of course," Courtney agreed and she hurried the rest of the way up to her living room.

"Sue!" she called out at the sight of her husband.

"Courtney? Is that you?" the older man said barely recognizing the energetic woman.

"Jesus Christ!" Matty yelped at the sight of his healthy, happy mom.

Courtney nodded eagerly. "I know!" She immediately caught herself and covered her mouth. "Yes, dumpling. It's me." She quickly closed the gap and hugged her husband fiercely. She followed that up with unabashedly sucking his face in front of their guests.

Zoe had to look away as it seemed to be getting a bit more personal than she was comfortable to be sharing a couch with. She put her hand up to the side of her face, blocking her view, as she turned to the others. "She seems to be doing better."

Simon nodded. "She's in stage I of Beckmans now. She'll be completely healthy within a couple weeks if not sooner."

"I hope it's not sexually transmitted," Zoe mumbled afraid to look over to her side.

"Mom," Matty said getting nauseous from the scene. "Golly!"

Courtney hopped up off her husband's lap and ran over to her son. "Matty!" She cried hugging her youngest son. "Oh son," she sniffled squeezing him tightly.

"How… how'd this happen?"

Courtney seemed to be bursting to shout the answer to that one from the rooftops. "I… I'm really not supposed to say."

"We know," Sue admitted his eyes more than a little watery. "Government secrets and what not. Could cost our Jaynie his job if word gets around."

Courtney was nodding, still a bit hyper. "I suspect they're more forgiving than-"

Kaylee began coughing halting anything further Courtney may have been going to say.

Matty looked even younger as he watched his mom as he'd wished her to be. "You gonna be okay, Mom?"

Courtney nodded. "That's what Dr. Tam tells me." She paused a moment and couldn't contain herself. "Praise Jesus!"

Matty just rolled his eyes and walked over to his older brother. "Why is it when everyone thinks they're on their death bed, they suddenly find Jesus?"

Jayne shrugged and replied, "Because that's where he likes to hang out?"

Courtney took a step back and looked at her husband and sons. "Lordy, you boys are too thin! I told you not to starve yourselves." She bustled her familiar way towards the back of the small house. "What kind of meat have we got in the freezer that I can grill for you?"

Sue's eyes widened as he turned to Matty. "Oh dear."

"WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO MY KITCHEN!"

Harry was staring down the angry Snorkack in skimpy negligee. The curious beast's snout split open in five directions spraying the side of Harry's face with its sticky saliva, as its tongue shot out like a rocket in an arc straight into the side of Harry's head. Harry flinched at the intrusion and uncomfortable penetration. He could feel the blood rushing to his head. There was a strong pressure on his right side where the Snorkack's tongue was planting its seed.

Blearily, Harry's eyes blinked away the bright light and he became aware he was in the Cobb's basement, having just had the typical Snorkack dream. He opened his mouth and realized it was about as dry as he was thirsty. In doing so though, he felt the immense pressure in the side of his head, most recently used as a Snorkack tongue seed receptacle. It took him a bit of effort, but Harry managed to turn his head enough to identify River lying next to him in bed shivering.

Harry immediately recast the mental shield that he knew she needed. He saw River's body had stopped twitching out of the corner of his eye, but he could see nothing indicating she was going to wake up any time soon. Unable to even turn his body over and face her, Harry limply reached across himself and began groping her abdomen and a few other places he probably shouldn't have. Holding his hand just over her heart, Harry cast an Ennervate spell. Wonky as his magic was, it had a bit more juice in it than Harry intended.

River gasped loudly as she slung her upper body forward into a sitting position. Sadly the sweatshirt she had been wearing had a zipper, Harry had a pretty darn strong hangnail, and the two got caught as she whipped herself forward.

Harry screeched as he was forced halfway up using muscles unprepared for such sudden exercise. He feebly realized he was completely deaf in his right ear, and his left arm was stuck tugging across his body and approximately half of River's.

River was panting from the exertion of such an abrupt wake-up call. She looked down and saw where Harry's hand had nestled itself snugly. "What in the 'verse-"

Harry snapped backed irritably and loudly, "Get your damn breast off my hand!"

It was this statement that alerted the folks upstairs that the two pilots were awake.

River used her free arm and viciously ripped Harry's snagged hand away from her zipper, ignoring his high-pitched yelp and the resulting small pop of blood as a shallow cut replaced his hangnail.

Harry felt her tugging on his head and he wasn't quite sure why. "Why the hell is half my head numb?"

"If you would let go," River snarled. "I could explain it to you."

"I'm not holding on to anything!"

"It's your ear that won't let go of my pinky, you idiot!"

"Idiot?" Harry snapped. "You got your pinky stuck in my ear and I'm the idiot?"

"Hold still," River hissed as she turned her body and put her feet on Harry's neck and side, pushing him away while pulling her pinky-trapped hand towards herself. "Just a little… more…"

Harry was suddenly feeling the numbness on the right side of his head give way to extreme sensitivity and soreness. "Wait! What're you-"

"Got it!" River exclaimed having successfully wiggled her pinky free. Unfortunately without the counterbalance the pressure her feet were putting onto Harry's body sent him flying off the bed and crashing into a couple of lawn chairs. Both of which did nothing to cushion Harry's landing on the concrete floor.

"Jesus Christ!"

That exclamation alerted River to the fact that she and Harry had acquired an audience. She turned around saw all the Cobbs and crew members assembled, watching the scene in shock, other than her brother Simon, who was smiling as if Christmas came early. River waved to the senseless group and said nothing, enjoying the quiet.

Naturally, Harry broke the blissful silence with a pain-filled exhale and moan. "I think I broke my face."

"Maybe now it'll heal properly," Simon mumbled quietly.

Mal had heard him though and looked over to the young doctor. "Feeling catty?"

Simon looked down, slightly ashamed that he had been overheard.

"Hey Doc," Mal continued when Simon looked away. "Even if the alpha brother in you wants to leave Harry in pain with a broken face, you could at least check out your sister, who hasn't had the best couple of days."

Simon had already snapped into motion as soon as he heard the word 'sister.'

River assured her brother that now that Harry's shield was back up, she was doing fine. And it certainly didn't stop her from wiping the glop off her moist and swollen pinky and onto Simon's shirt.

Simon considered preventing River from wiping that orange milky substance on his shirt, but if he did, then he would need to check out Harry, so he just continued to allow his sister to clean off her pinky.

River was inching her littlest pruned finger towards her face, sniffing after each movement, trying to get a slight smell, fearful of a strong one. She looked over at her brother. "He's tired and he'll be fine. But you should check him out now."

Simon smiled at his sister and moved down to the floor where Harry had rolled over onto his back. Kaylee was giving Harry his second glass of water that he was drinking gratefully.

Harry gulped down a mouthful and exhaled loudly. "Hey Doc."

"Did you break anything?" Simon asked. "Are you sore anywhere?"

Harry shook his head. "Nothing you need to worry about. But I am…" Harry panted. "Still… really tired."

"Should you go back to sleep?" Simon asked. "Get you to eat some food before you pass out?"

Harry waved him off. "I was actually… just hoping… you might have a shot of adrenaline?"

Simon looked at Harry and offered, "I've got a couple shots of epinephrine for intracardiac injection in case I can catch an attack in progress."

"Perfect," Harry answered, slowly raising his arm and a single finger. "I'll take one of those."

Simon looked over at their audience and back at the quickly tiring Harry. "Are you serious?"

'No, that was my godfather,' was just going to take more energy than Harry had, so he decided to summarize it and said, "Yah."

"You know what you're asking for?"

"Do it…" Harry replied even slower. "Bitch."

Any reservations Simon had went by the wayside. He knew if Harry was serious enough to try and goad him into giving him the shot, then Harry must have known what he was doing. He reached into the bottom of his second satchel and pulled out the massive syringe. Simon turned towards the crowd and said, "Try not to freak out."

River's eyes widened at her brother's familiar choice of words and saw him pull the cover off a giant needle. He opened Harry's shirt, exposing his bare chest. Simon was rubbing over Harry's heart with his free hand, trying to locate the ribs and where to poke. Harry was just rolling his head slowly from side to side, mumbling unintelligible sounds every once in a while. Simon found the right spot and spread his forefinger and middle finger apart, right over the area. He brought the epinephrine shot down, lining up the location he wanted. He lifted the syringe up about six inches from Harry's pale chest. Simon's arm bobbed down and back up twice before he thrust it down quickly, with only a muffled thunk sound indicating he'd just stabbed a needle into Harry's heart.

Loud gasps and a small shriek from his girlfriend told Simon they were all paying attention. He hurriedly, depressed the plunger on the syringe, flooding Harry's system with the hormone.

Harry just wheezed quietly and answered, "That's the stuff." Internally, he felt as though steam should be shooting out his ears.

Simon was watching Harry as he emptied the contents of the syringe. He carefully withdrew the needle and pushed a sterilized gauze pad over the tiny puncture. "No massive painful jolt of energy?"

Harry shook his head and motioned Simon closer with his finger.

Simon leaned down and Harry whispered to him. "My magic's back up to strength, it's just the body that's still tired. And using the real stuff that you just pumped me with is much better for me than if I tried to force it magically."

Simon leaned back and whispered to Harry. "You know I have absolutely no understanding of your chicken bone shaking voodoo demon rituals."

Harry nodded and sat up feeling significantly better. He spoke in a normal voice. "It's why I can temper the effects and it's as smooth as a cup of coffee waking you up." Harry cocked his head and stretched his muscles. "Thanks Doc."

"That was awesome!" Matty called out, earning himself a cuff on the head from his mother.

Harry smiled and buttoned his shirt back together. He looked up at Jayne's mom and saw how much better she was doing. She had a very soft, warm face and looked on the brink of tears. Her curly blonde hair made her look like a bubbly version of Jayne in a wig. But it was the smile on her face that scared the hell out of Harry. Harry was immediately reminded of how the wizarding world viewed him immediately following nearly every Dark Lord defeat. "Mrs. Cobb," Harry apprehensively greeted. "I don't believe we've been properly introduced. I'm Harry."

Courtney nodded eagerly with a wide grin. "I know who you are."

"Well great," Harry replied uncertainly. He saw Jayne seemed to be miming something about a plane's wings, or some kind of dead bird praying. Harry turned to Simon and got up off the floor. Harry asked quietly, "So it worked?"

Simon nodded and explained aloud. "She's down to Beckmans stage I. Antibiotics can finish it off and she'll be a hundred percent."

"Fantastic," Harry said smiling at the twittering woman. "That's great news for you, Mrs. Cobb."

"Please call me Courtney," she replied. "I… I… how shall I refer to you?"

"Harry's great, thanks," Harry assured her sniffing the air. "Something burning?"

"Gos se!" Matty exclaimed and hurried up the stairs.

Courtney waved at Harry explaining, "Just some bacon."

Harry's eyebrows perked up. "Bacon?"

"Oh you must be starving!" Courtney exclaimed remembering her manners. "I'll get our feast going!" She was still grinning madly and hurried back up the stairs.

"You okay, Harry?" Zoe asked, wondering if anyone was ever going to inquire.

Harry nodded. "Yup. Just happy to see Courtney doing so well."

"Th- thanks Harry," Sue said with a catch in his voice.

Harry waved him off. "Happy to help." Anything further Harry was going to say was cut off as Jayne grabbed Harry in a tight hug, squeezing him harder than was probably healthy.

"I love you, Harry," Jayne said loud and proud.

Harry tried to pat Jayne on the back, but could barely move his arms in Jayne's firm embrace. "Let's just be friends, Jayne."

Jayne laughed out loud and took the chance to whisper in Harry's ear. "By the way, my mom thinks you're Jesus Christ." Jayne backed off and smiled at Harry, before turning and leading his father upstairs to help with the feast.

Harry just watched Jayne sling an arm around his father's shoulder and leave Harry standing there with the rest of the crew. "Courtney…"

"Yup," Mal answered.

"Thinks I'm…"

"Mmm-hmm," Inara asserted.

"Jesus Christ."

"You said it, man," River agreed with a slight island native accent.

Harry sighed. He took a deep breath. And then he sighed again. "Why does this always happen to me?" Harry whined with a shake of his head as he hopped up the stairs to check out this alleged feast.

The rest of the crew exchanged looks of confusion, realizing there was an awful lot they still didn't know about their newest pilot. They silently fell into line and walked up the stairs to see the bustling action in the kitchen.

Harry walked over towards Matty, who was manning a frying pan. "Is that… bacon?"

Matty nodded affirmatively.

"I've never seen it so… small and thin."

"It's squirrel," Matty explained.

"Squirrel bacon?" Harry asked Matty in surprise. "How is it?"

Matty grinned and held up the plate with the finished bacon cooling. "Try some."

Harry helped himself to the least gristly looking little piece he could find. He stuck it in his mouth and bit off the end. Or at least tried to. It took more than a bit of effort as Harry wrestled with the tough squirrel bacon. Finally it snapped apart, and Harry had a bite in his mouth that he began to chew. And chew. And chew a little more. Harry weakly forced himself to swallow. "Such a uniquely leather like texture."

Matty nodded. "It's for the cat."

Harry swallowed the last of the horrid tasting gristle jerky down. "Lucky cat."

Courtney just now noticed, Harry holding a piece of squirrel bacon. "Matty!" Courtney turned to Harry and winked, "Jesus, I'm sorry about that, err... Harry. It's just a little something Mr. Boris likes to nibble. And it makes his hairballs tastier, so he cleans up after himself." She turned to her son and smacked him quite hard on his rear. "Matty, quit trying to trick the guests."

"I heard mention of a feast and was wondering if I could help with anything," Harry offered.

Courtney shook her head fiercely, "Heavens, no," she slapped a hand over her mouth. "Oh I'm sorry."

Harry held his hand up in deference. "Mrs. Cobb, Courtney," Harry smiled warmly. "Don't worry about me. I'm a fair hand in the kitchen and just wanted to help if it's needed."

"You're bleeding!" Courtney announced, pointing to the remains of Harry's hangnail.

Harry looked at his finger, and flaked away the dried blood. "Oh it's nothing."

"No," Courtney explained. "It just gave me an idea." She grinned victoriously. "You could bring the wine."

Harry opened his mouth and then shut it. He saw the rest of the crew was snickering at him. He just nodded at Jayne's mom and turned to leave the kitchen. "I'll get the wine."

Courtney smiled brightly and went back to preparing the side dishes while the roast cooked in the oven. Harry was just about out the door, headed towards where the ship was when Courtney added, "There's a hose around to the side if you want."

Harry just shook his head and went back to the ship to get the wine. River decided to follow him and caught up with him just as he reached Serenity.

Harry turned to the mischievous young woman. "How bad were the last couple days?"

River's eyes told Harry everything he needed to know. "Not easy."

Harry chuckled. "Good."

River looked at Harry curiously.

Harry explained, "Knowing how bad it can be, can make you more determined to succeed."

"True," River argued. "But that doesn't mean you have to enjoy it so much."

Harry grinned. "Mind explaining just why you were doing exploratory surgery with your pinky?"

River flushed and shook her head. "I tried to keep that shield up, and lasted for almost eight hours, before I couldn't take it. Being closer to you seemed to help and I didn't want to be sedated." River sighed. "Didn't help any. I tried sticking your thumb in me."

Harry turned and gave River a horrified look.

"Simon stopped me before we got too far, but I could tell it wasn't going to help." River admitted ignoring Harry's nervous demeanor. "So then I tried sticking my thumb in you. It fit a couple of places, some easier than others."

Harry gulped, feeling decidedly unclean, and promising to maintain consciousness around River at all times in the future.

"But none of them seemed to help either." River was looking down trying to hide her evil grin. "Eventually, I got a little shortening from Courtney, and managed to get my pinky in your ear. I thought it was helping, but mainly I think it just wasn't getting proper circulation. When it didn't seem to want to come out, I had Simon sedate me." River explained. "Speaking of, I should have been out for a while longer. You know anything about that?"

Harry nodded. "Magic? Ring any bells?" Harry pulled open one of the cupboards in the kitchen. He went into a box and found two bottles of red wine. "Got 'em." Harry turned to River. "Can I trust you not to violate my body or thumb again?"

"No," River replied honestly.

Harry shook his head. "Let's get to this feast. I'm starving."

The Cobbs had prepared enough food to make a house-elf proud. Harry double-checked everything was people food before eating, and greatly appreciated all the odd toasts people kept calling out and cheering. Ignoring the occasional veiled hints and suggestions for sainthood, Harry was warmly reminded of the sense of family he always got from the Weasleys. It was a very pleasant dinner affair during which Harry felt the curious looks of his crew members. Apparently their thirst for a few more answers, having now seen magic first hand, was growing.

After the meal and three different dessert courses, Mal stood up and announced, "This has been an excellent meal Courtney, but it's probably about time we got on our way."

"Wait!" She called out, jumping from her seat. "Before you go…" She came swooping back in carrying three gift bags. "I had a few things I wanted to give you."

"Dr. Tam," Courtney announced handing him the first bag. "I know you keep saying you were just doing your job, but I won't take no for an answer."

Simon accepted the bag as she turned to Harry and handed him the next. Courtney tried to put her feelings into words. "Meeting you… It's… 'Thank you' is insufficient but I-"

"You're welcome," Harry assured her. "And thank you for the gift." Harry accepted his small bag and looked in it. "Wow!" Harry reached in, and pulled out a homemade knit hat, complete with ear flaps, and a pom-pom on top. It was a very soft wool, primarily gray intermixed with white and a little green to match his eyes. Harry took it out and immediately tried it on.

At this same time, Simon was reaching into his bag and discovering he also received a hat, very similar to Harry's, only colored a glowing bright red. "Wow." He echoed less than enthusiastically.

"Go on," Harry cheered looking a bit childishly goofy. "Put it on."

Simon was staring at Harry and reluctantly did just that. Simon saw everyone not named Cobb or Harry was snickering at him. He turned towards his girlfriend. "How's it look?"

"Discerning," Kaylee answered. "No… wait, that's a shrewd hat."

"Thanks," Simon nodded. He turned towards Courtney and kept smiling. "Thank you."

Harry looked out towards everyone. "What about mine? How's it look?"

Without pause River answered, "Guileful," she nodded very seriously. "With a splash of savior-faire."

Jayne grinned. "I like it."

"I must admit," Simon smiled. "I do feel special."

"That's the spirit, Doc," Harry said slapping him on the shoulder probably harder than necessary.

Courtney smiled and presented her son with the final gift bag she had brought out. "This is for you Jaynie."

Jayne took his bag and dug right in pulling out his present. "A notebook!" Jayne exclaimed, "My very first notebook!"

Everyone smiled at Jayne's amazement.

"It's a journal for you Jaynie," she nodded with a wink. "So that you can write about your travels."

Jayne looked up in glee. "You know what I'm holding?"

"Yes," Zoe answered before Jayne started repeating himself. "We know what that is."

Jayne pressed his new notebook, better known as the Book of Jayne, up against his body in a hug. "Thanks Mom. This is great."

"I can't believe this is happening," Mal mumbled.

"Okay," Courtney announced moving around the dinner table. "I need hugs before you go. And Jaynie, you need to promise to write more."

"I will Mom," Jayne agreed like the scolded child he was.

They all finished saying their goodbyes, and the group of eight was walking the cobblestone path back to Serenity in a far better mood than the one in which they had arrived. Jayne was half-drunk on happiness, not just for his mom or his new book, but also to be saying goodbye to family. Three days was about the upper limit for what counts as healthy when it comes to staying with family.

Harry felt the tension of the silence as they walked. They all seemed to be stealing glances at him, unsure of what he might do next. Harry caught all of their gazes at one point or another, not willing to start the conversation. They went in the side cargo door, single file. Just as Harry stepped on to the ship, Mal spoke up. "Harry? You mind answering a few more questions now?"

Harry felt everyone watching him. "Yeah. I think it's probably time I did."

More than a few crew members were surprised and looking forward to this. River announced, "I'll make some popcorn."

"Wait!" Jayne announced. "Before we start, just gimme a minute. I just gotta do this one thing." Jayne hurried off towards his bunk, carrying his duffle bag and changes of clothes.

Jayne slid down into his bunk and tossed his clothes to the side. He looked in his nightstand drawer and found what he was searching for: a pencil. Jayne sat his new book down on his bed reverently. He cracked it open to the first page and prepared himself.

In big letters on the first page, he wrote "The Book of Jayne," while unconsciously saying the words out loud as he his pencil moved across the page. Next he wrote "Date:" and then paused to think about it. After a tense silence he wrote down, "Today." Jayne then paused to think about it again, before frowning and scribbling out where he'd written "Date: Today."

Jayne moved down to the next line, and this time wrote "1." before stopping to chew on his pencil. After careful consideration, he began to write and speak out loud in a very dull monotone voice. "Today Harry finally woke up. He shrieked and got a needle of good drugs jammed into his heart. It was pretty shiny. I think Kaylee mighta wet herself. After that, I remember... some wine… and some impressive hats. And I think Harry felt up River. So far, a good day."

Jayne carefully and gently closed the Book of Jayne. "Book of Jayne."

Jayne hurried back to the dining area, where they were all preparing themselves for a right and proper interrogation. "So Harry… what the rut are you?"