Disclaimer: I own nothing; Harry Potter and the elements of his universe all belong to J.K.Rowling. Firefly/Serenity and the elements of its universe all belong to Joss Whedon. I'm just borrowing the characters to play with for a while. This is for pleasure only, no profit is being made, and no copyright infringement is intended.

CHAPTER THIRTY – Serenity Sky and the Evil Babies

"That's my pensieve!"

"Err… no, this used to belong to Albus Dumbledore."

"I mean that's where I left the instructions for waking us," Fullerton explained. "There's a subway station with lockers not far from the statue. I gave the locker key to my friend, Sam Jackson. His nephew and family were one of the ones looking out for us, along with the Smiths and Jugsons."

"Jugson, as in Atticus Jugson?"

"Mr. Potter," Fullerton scolded, looking disappointed at Harry. "If you look hard enough, you will find the taint of evil in every family."

"Yeah and if you keep looking hard enough a sailboat will appear," Harry bit back. "I'm just saying the only Jugson I ever met was the Death Eating kind. I know nothing of his relatives or descendents just that the Jugson I knew wasn't the type you'd trust with an important secret or mission."

"The Jugsons I knew were all trustworthy people," Fullerton assured Harry. "But even if they weren't, this is a matter all magical society would agree on: the survival of wizardkind."

Harry just nodded, giving the benefit of the doubt, but slightly disconcerted that he couldn't avoid a link to the Death Eaters again.

Fullerton continued, "As I was saying, I put a memory in this pensieve and locked it up. When the time came, they were to go to the locker and see thorough instructions and plans for waking us up. The fact that you weren't aware of my identity informed me that you hadn't seen the memory. So what are you doing with this pensieve?"

Harry shrugged. "I got it from a friend way out near the rim. He picked it up at an estate auction from some random John Dough. The late John Dough was from somewhere here in Jersey. But how did you get this one? I returned it to Aberforth after the French gave me an old one."

"Aberforth's grandson Elijah," Fullerton explained. "He donated it to Hogwarts upon his death. It is to be passed down from Headmaster to Headmaster. Of course, since I was the first since Eli passed, I haven't exactly vacated the position and left it for my successor."

"Good point," Harry added. "Go ahead and keep it. I should probably get mine out of storage anyways. Dead useful things for explaining the wizarding world to a bunch of muggles."

"Let me get this straight," Fullerton tried to get the conversation back on track. "You just woke up a couple years ago because the government wanted you to hunt down her."

"Hi," River waved with a smile.

"You had no wands, no possessions, and no clothes. Since then you've been trying to figure out what happened, as well as locate any magical artifacts. This is all correct, so far?"

Harry nodded. "Well, for the longest time I was trying to locate the wizarding world too. I figured you all went into hiding somewhere. I know magically hiding an entire planet under Fidelius is beyond ludicrous but I had to hope for something."

"So how do you have your pensieve in storage? You left it back on Earth," Fullerton argued.

"Oh," Harry grinned. "I wasn't done yet. New spaceship engine technology was developed recently. A trip to Earth-That-Was only takes three weeks each way."

"We can go home?" Fullerton asked hopefully.

"What is it about the oceans boiling away that people don't understand?" River commented. "Human life cannot survive on the surface."

"Perhaps we can change the conditions," Algernon interjected. "Bring some ice cubes with us, to cool things down a bit."

"From what I understand," Harry said with a shrug. "The process would take centuries and basically more resources than a dozen planets' worth. Not to mention the amount of work and people. The muggles won't go for trying to fix the Earth-That-Was. Too far from everything here."

"But with the technology for travel," Fullerton weakly continued. "It's only three weeks away, that's reasonable."

Harry cleared his throat and looked down. "Umm… when I said it was developed recently, I meant to imply very recently."

"Has it been tested?" Fullerton inquired.

River smiled and nodded. "Yup, though not everything went according to plan."

"We sorta borrowed their first major field test to check out Earth-That-Was," Harry explained. "We meant to return the ship, and I certainly was going to, but well… do you remember the wild Ford Anglia that lived in the Forbidden Forest?"

"Yeah," Algernon answered. "Bloody flying contraption used to chase the thestrals at night."

Fullerton recalled what his predecessor Headmistress Rebecca Gordon had told him. "A popular theory is that its unique gift of a consciousness was perhaps your accidental magic when you feared for your own life."

"Me?" Harry snapped. "That wasn't me that brought that thing to life, it was Hogwarts."

River smirked. "Oh really? Then how do you explain Frank?"

"I… that's…" Harry sighed. "Aww crud."

"Am I to assume lightning has struck a third or fourth time?" Fullerton asked with a chuckle.

River nodded. "The field test ship is alive. He's a friend of ours named Frank."

"So you didn't return the ship?" Fullerton's eyes lit up. "We could make another trip?"

"Slow down, Headmaster," Harry interrupted. "First off, Frank's his own ship. We don't get to order him around anywhere. And secondly, we don't need Frank. That's a door to Earth right there."

"What?" Fullerton gasped spinning around. "How?"

"Just a pair of vanishing cabinets," Harry explained. "Luna's portrait is there, so anyone inside can knock and she'll swing open, letting them out. Albus Dumbledore's portrait is on the matching cabinet in the goblin village."

"Stop," Algernon interrupted Harry unable to absorb too many unlikely concepts at one. He took another drink of his re-appropriated firewhiskey. "Okay. I'm good. Try and surprise me now."

"I wasn't trying to surprise you," Harry defended.

"Well no matter, because I'm ready for anything you have to say," Algernon said with a grin.

"Surprise him, River," Harry suggested, seeing if she was up to the challenge.

River jumped right in with the first thing that came to mind. "Did you ever get so drunk that you forgot to feed your pet for three days? And you only remembered because you just crapped out a paw? On a side note, baby panda? Not the new veal."

Algernon just looked at River who was smiling again. He swallowed and admitted. "She wins. Harry?" he finished turning to the wizard.

Harry snickered and stood up. "You know what? Why don't I show you guys Earth-That-Was while we keep talking?"

"Pensieve?" Fullerton questioned.

Harry shook his head. "No I thought I'd take you there, so you can see Hogwarts."

"Our protections are holding?" Fullerton asked hopefully.

Harry showed no emotion but a slight shake of his head. "We should go there so you'll understand."

"You going to the surface?" Mal inquired.

Harry nodded and turned to the invisible goblin behind Fullerton. "Digdug, you go on ahead and warn Ripruck we're coming."

Algernon yelped at the sudden appearance of the goblin. Algernon turned to Fullerton, "I didn't think any of the goblins survived the sixty-one year flight."

Fullerton pursed his lips. "I suspect the answers may lie in the goblin village Mr. Potter mentioned."

Harry nodded. "For at least this trip, let's hitch a ride to the surface. Fawkes?" In a burst of flame, the phoenix in question appeared and settled himself happily on Harry's shoulder. Harry could tell Fawkes was willing to happily take them to the surface. He felt Fawkes chiding him for his pride in shocking the two other wizards with the phoenix's presence. "You want to come too, Digdug?"

Digdug nodded immediately.

"Alright," Harry said. "You go on ahead. I'll go drop in on Frank and grab us some suits."

"You want company?" Mal asked as Harry seemed to be jumping into action.

Harry was surprised. "You want to come?"

"Not really," Mal said shaking his head. "Just thought I'd offer."

Harry shrugged. "I figured I'd take the sleepy twins and we'd keep talking. I'll tell ya anything later, Captain. River, you want to come?"

River thought about it and nodded.

"You want to go grab us five of Frank's suits?"

River turned right around and walked into the cabinet with Dilys Derwent on the door.

"I assume the bubblehead charm would be insufficient?" Fullerton asked with a grin.

Harry chuckled. "Yeah, you might want a bit more than that. Because even if the temperatures didn't ignite any spontaneous combustion, the atmospheric pressure is about a hundred times what you're used to. I'm not saying it's impossible, just nothing I have the confidence to test."

"She didn't make it, did she?" Fullerton said sadly thinking of the castle he called home. "Did we lose everything?"

Harry shook his head. "You did notice the other painting behind you, didn't you?"

"Oh yes," Fullerton said in quiet surprise. "Dilys, how are you?"

"Can't complain," the former Healer and Headmistress said with a smile.

"Most of Hogwarts' smaller possessions," Harry explained, "are okay: the portraits, the artifacts, the Sorting Hat, and perhaps most importantly, the library."

Fullerton nodded slowly. "That is good to hear."

Dilys mumbled the password to swing the cabinet door open before announcing loudly, "Show time, boys."

Harry summoned the two suits out from the closet and shut the cabinet door. He waited a few seconds and opened the door again, taking out the next two suits. When he opened the door for the third time, River did her best to skip out of the cabinet while wearing the massive bulky spacesuit.

She managed to pull off a dainty sounding clank-clank-clank.

"You know if you want that resized, you're gonna have to get out of it?" Harry suggested.

River didn't seem to care, as she turned and walked right into Luna's cabinet. Harry shrunk the other four suits and put them in his pocket. He snapped off a friendly salute to the Captain. "Headmaster? Deputy Headmaster? Shall we?"

First Fullerton, then Algernon, and last Harry and Fawkes went through the cabinet, appearing in the side room of the main office inside Harry's vault. The smooth stone walls and portrait of some old Potter sleeping gave it the feel of a perfectly normal small conference room. The portrait of Albus was pretending to sleep but Harry caught his eye peeking open.

"Where are we?" Algernon asked curiously.

"Greetings," Ripruck said closing the door behind him as he walked. "How are you, Harry?"

Harry smiled. "Doing a little better. Ripruck, I'd like you to meet Headmaster Harry Fullerton and Deputy Headmaster Algernon Longbottom."

"Hello gentlemen," Ripruck said emotionlessly. "Digdug was going to show Miss Tam something but they should be back momentarily."

"Did they tell you I was hoping to pick up my pensieve?" Harry asked.

Ripruck nodded. "It is being located as we speak. I'll make sure it's here waiting for you when you return."

"You mind if I show them…" Harry motioned towards the door that led towards the burgeoning goblin city that had overtaken the Potter family vault.

"You can do as you wish," Ripruck answered before responding to the underlying question. "But I see no reason not to."

Harry waved the two old men towards the door and led them through the larger empty meeting place for the goblin council. He smiled at them and swung the door open revealing the impressive structures, buildings, homes, and interconnected metal railings and walkways. All around goblins could be seen waddling about doing their daily business.

"Bugger me sideways and call me Sally," Algernon whispered out. "Are we on some sacred goblin ground here or something?"

"Not quite," Harry chuckled. "We're actually in the Potter family vault. To the best of my knowledge this is the only place left on the Earth-That-Was capable of sustaining significant life."

Fullerton's eyes darkened at the thought but considered the ramifications of this. He smiled and commented, "I love what they've done with the place."

"Yeah," Harry sighed. "I wish we hadn't taken down the amusement park."

"Hey," River greeted in a muffled yell from inside her helmet.

"Ready?" Harry asked River and Digdug as they walked into the conference room.

Harry helped Algernon and Fullerton figure out how to get their suits on and shrunk one to fit Digdug. Harry double-checked that everyone's audio was functioning and hoped that the wizards weren't too muggle-impaired. Ripruck just nodded at them, while Harry glanced up at Fawkes. He could tell the phoenix knew where to take them. "Everyone link hands."

The five of them all held on while Fawkes jumped from Harry's shoulder. As soon as Harry grabbed hold of Fawkes' tail feathers, the group jerked forward in a burst of flame. Rather than take them on a wild ride, Fawkes reappeared only a few feet off the ground and they all quickly landed and let go.

Blackened, dirty brown carnage led off towards an orange horizon.

"This is Earth?" Algernon gasped at the unfamiliar terrain.

Fullerton was looking in the opposite direction of Algernon and just quietly said, "Oh my."

Algernon turned and he too caught sight of the ruins of Hogwarts Castle.

Fawkes jumped into the air and warbled out a melancholy phoenix song.

Both Fullerton and Algernon just quietly stared up at what remained of their old home away from home, ignoring the tears they made no attempt to withhold.

"You have to not only see this for yourself," Harry explained. "But feel it. And know even if we rebuilt this castle here, Hogwarts is dead." Harry sighed. "It'd just be a new castle."

Fullerton couldn't take his eyes away. "Was there more I could have done?" He asked honestly, seeking vindication. "Did I do something wrong?"

"We shouldn't have left her," Algernon added, looking away and realizing there was supposed to be a forest and animals.

"You did everything you could," Harry assured him. "There was nothing anyone could have done to save her."

"But your vault…" Fullerton argued.

"No," Harry insisted. "Half the reason my vault has survived is that it's miles under the surface. It's bad down there, but on the surface… it's impossible. The elements are too harsh."

"How did they save everything?" Fullerton asked, still in a bit of a daze.

"It was the phoenixes," Harry explained. "The fires were too strong. Everyone burned up but the last bastion of goblins protecting the castle. The phoenixes took the goblins and trunks containing the portraits and library. And that was it. Digdug here is the only goblin who's ever seen daylight. I think Ripruck might have seen the empty black one time on Serenity, but the rest of them have lived completely sheltered lives."

"The phoenixes survived?" Fullerton questioned. "Well, obviously. But what else did?"

Harry nodded as Digdug turned to go and do a little exploring. Harry shrugged in his oversized space suit. "From what I understand… nothing."

"No ghosts?" Fullerton inquired. "No heliopaths or creatures that adapted to the changing conditions?"

"Pretty sure the ghost council all got together and moved on," Harry commented. "Heliopaths live off fire and I don't think there's enough left to burn, probably starved to death. Pretty much all the creatures I know need to eat something else, and there is nothing else. The only other survivor I know of is… annoying."

"What's that?" Fullerton asked with a smile.

River tried to flick Harry's ear, but found it difficult with the suits and helmets on. "He means Peeves."

"Peeves?" Fullerton said with a chuckle.

"Oh hell," Algernon snapped. "Not even the bloody apocalypse can get rid of that wretched thing."

Harry detected the Deputy Headmaster was even less of a fan than Harry. "He's uh… set up shop with Frank."

"Frank… the ship?" Fullerton clarified trying to remember this oddly altered world he'd woken up in.

"Yeah," River explained. "Frank got his body from the Alliance, his brain from Mr. Universe, and his life from… probably Harry."

"It's not me," Harry explained. "It's magic, it's this area. But yeah that summarized it pretty well."

"Is Frank a person?" Fullerton asked thinking maybe he hadn't understood.

"Does Mr. Universe not need his brain?" Algernon added.

"Frank's a ship," Harry clarified. "His body, the ship, came from the field test. Mr. Universe is an artificial intelligence. It was a clone of him that… got zapped, I guess. Mr. U's also the voice I'm usually talking to in my communicator and all over networks 'versewide. He's the reason there isn't any video of naked people appearing from a statue among a great many other talents."

Algernon turned to Fullerton. "Is the future just really messed up?"

"No," River answered. "It's Harry. The future doesn't have anything to do with it."

"Thank you, River," Harry said with a roll of his eyes. "So back to our earlier discussion, what were the Jugsons, Jacksons and Smiths all supposedly doing?"

"They should be looking for a planet," Fullerton explained.

"A planet?" Harry asked thinking they weren't too hard to come by.

"Yes, you see when we first had lost hope and there were no new magically capable people being born in Londinium, or Jersey, I suppose," Fullerton corrected himself. "We began to consider trying to make a magical chamber but that idea was simply not feasible within the very limited time we would need to test. We were trying to come up with a reasonable solution when a friend of mine relayed a comment from a very annoyed snake. My friend was a beastspeaking shaman, and he informed us that the snake was irritated because wizards were quite stupid."

"Snakes say that a lot," Harry agreed.

"Apparently," Fullerton concurred. "It pointed out how foolish and arrogant our assumptions were. The snake said, 'There are magical snakes and non-magical ones. There are magical castles and non-magical ones. There are magical people and non-magical ones. So why when you leave a magical planet, would you assume that there aren't non-magical ones?'"

"Oops," Algernon helpfully summarized.

"This changed the direction of our discussion quite a bit," Fullerton said. "Because then we were trying to work out a way to get back to Earth. This seemed to annoy the snake too, who once again quite colorfully called us foolish and arrogant. First we assume all planets are magical, only to find out that it is not true. Next we assume that because this planet is non-magical that the only magical planet around is the perfectly good one we just left. Only the snake didn't say it quite that kindly."

"Yup," Harry said. "That's snake logic for you. Makes sense and makes you feel stupid at the same time."

"And that," Fullerton explained, "is when our focus changed towards locating the nearest magical planet."

"How's that coming?" Digdug asked walking back towards the group.

"Finding the nearest magical planet?" Fullerton repeated. "Not too sure. That's why I want to know what the Jugsons, Jacksons, and Smiths have discovered."

"Before we went to sleep," Algernon jumped in. "We checked the four planets that had progressed in terraforming. We also rented a shuttle and looked around the next five planets they were planning to terraform next. None of them responded magically to anything."

"That was when we knew if we waited for the next bunch of planets to get terraformed and colonized then no wizard would live long enough to be able to help and teach magical children," Fullerton explained. "So they were supposed to keep looking for a magical planet or figure out a way to replicate whatever it is that makes Earth magical."

"How do you test for a magical planet?" River asked curiously. "Digdug says he can just feel it, but that's a goblin thing."

"That's probably more precise than our attempts," Fullerton explained. "Mainly we just would look for signs, new creatures, unexplainable phenomena, and specifically children doing accidental magic. Even though none of the Jugsons, Jacksons, and Smiths would have any magic, they could investigate curious claims and such. Perhaps move to planets they suspected. At least, that was the intent. How many planets have been colonized now?"

"About 232," Harry answered. "And no, I've not been to them all, but I've been looking for 'curious claims' all over."

"232 planets," Fullerton repeated. "I don't think it's too much to hope for one of those being magical. But even if none of them are, there's still your vault."

"My vault?" Harry clarified. "You expect to convince some muggle families carrying the right gene to be willing to live out the next twenty years in a big stone box?"

"You could kidnap them," Digdug suggested. "Or at least the newborns."

Harry and Algernon seemed to be considering the idea, but Fullerton wouldn't give in to temptation. "We're not kidnapping babies," he insisted. He justified his argument with the brilliant reasoning, "That would be wrong."

"What about evil babies that need to be imprisoned anyway?" River offered.

"Evil babies," Digdug agreed with a gesture. "Excellent idea."

"That would probably make evil wizards," Algernon pointed out. "Come to think of it though, if they're evil wizards, then we'd be right keeping them here imprisoned. Perhaps two to a cell, one man and one woman… with good birthing hips."

"We're not kidnapping evil babies," Fullerton reiterated, complete unsure how they got onto this topic.

"Because I don't think fifty or so of us are a diverse enough gene pool to be swimming in here," Algernon added. "Assuming most can still… uh…"

"You really don't need to finish that statement," Harry suggested, feeling as if he dodged a bullet.

"One thing we do have now though is the ability to reach Earth. So perhaps the idea of an Earth-like environment can be replicated," Fullerton summarized. "We're not at the point where we need to start talking about kidnapping evil babies or… your swimmers."

"Thank you," Harry sarcastically interrupted the unwanted mental image.

"We've got options," Fullerton explained. "First thing, I think is to contact the families and see what they've found. Do you think Mr. Universe could trace a genealogy if we know a name from 2266?"

Harry nodded. "If it's possible, he'll know how."

Fullerton nodded back. He sighed and added, "Push comes to shove, we can go right back to sleep and wait for someone to wake us again."

Harry nodded. "You do realize, if you go back to sleep, I'd probably create elaborate futuristic alien scenes and wake you up every couple of days, claiming it's been thousands of years."

"That's true," River agreed. "He would do that. And I would help."

"You know, even if we don't protect young parents from their own evil babies," Algernon theorized. "We could still set up hidden portals or sponsor new wings in orphanages. Try and maintain a small steady stream of magical people."

"Hidden portals?" Digdug inquired.

"Like the vanishing cabinets," Algernon explained. "We pretend we've built a new gymnasium and sleeping area in some year-round school. Maybe even transfigure the cabinet into an elevator. People walk in, close the door, open the door and see a room that looks like their dorm area. And just like that we're test-incubating youngsters. Maybe we'll see some magic develop."

"That's actually a pretty good idea," Harry admitted. "You think we could safely expand the vault, Digdug?"

"I'm not sure we can go horizontally much more," Digdug commented. "We've got a little bit of room to go up, but we may be able to expand down as much as we want."

"It is something to consider," Fullerton explained. "But let's not get ahead of ourselves. First we should see if perhaps our secret order of non-magical wizards have relocated to a magical planet."

"Secret order…?" Harry questioned.

"The man likes his dramatics," Algernon shook his head ruefully at Fullerton.

Fullerton was fighting a smile. "You take your responsibilities more seriously when you're part of a secret order."

Harry shook his head. "You guys ready to go back?"

"Yeah," Algernon said not wanting to look at Hogwarts ruins any longer. "I'm ready for another drink and some sleep."

Fullerton nodded resolutely, feeling a sense of closure in addition to his sadness. "Yes. I'm ready."

Harry looked up wondering when Fawkes' phoenix song had ended. "Anyone seen a phoenix?"

"Our ride ditched us," River commented. "Surprise."

"He'll be back," Harry commented. "I think." Harry and the others stood around waiting for a minute or two.

"Your vault protected from portkeys?" Fullerton asked, wondering how long they should wait.

"I think so," Harry said looking to the goblin in a space suit. "You know, Digdug?"

"All of the vault's main protection were independent of those Gringotts had installed," Digdug explained. "I doubt the wizarding wards have been tested in centuries, but whatever was there before is probably as strong as it's ever been."

"Lovely," Harry said. He yelled loudly, "FAWKES!"

"Oww," Algernon said as the speakers in his helmet reverberated Harry's shout. "Not so loud."

"Ooh," Harry said as a thought came to him. "Good idea." Harry stuck both of his gloved hands out and juiced up a spell.

BOOM!

The air rippled with power and a deafening thunder from the cannon blast charm that left Algernon and Fullerton with a case of wand envy.

"Great Merlin," Algernon admitted while his ears were ringing. "You could see the heat emanating off that spell."

"He's Harry Potter," Fullerton mumbled as that seemed to explain everything.

In a burst of fire, Fawkes appeared directly in front of Harry. A few emotional twinges and Harry answered, "No I wasn't worried."

Fawkes hovered in front of Harry and continued to communicate through Harry's emotions.

"Really?" Harry asked. "Excellent. Fawkes says if we find a place the goblins approve of, the phoenixes will come help out, donating feathers and tears."

"Gregorovitch will be pleased," Fullerton commented.

"You got a wandmaker with ya?" Harry asked.

Algernon nodded. "Yup, and he's got an apprentice too, but Hudson's not magical, so I don't know how good he'd be at wand crafting."

Harry nodded and was trying to think of all the numerous magical roles he took for granted. He realized he was daydreaming when Fawkes interrupted him with a burst of lust. He turned to the cheeky bird and asked, "You mind taking us back now?"

The five in the space suits all linked hands and Fawkes decided to take a slightly longer route back to the small side room to the main goblin conference area. Sitting on the table was the oversized shallow bowl that was one of the first pensieves ever designed.

River volunteered to return the suits while Harry led the pair of old wizards towards the cargo bay of Serenity.

"I think they got the right idea," Algernon commented before a yawn. Nearly all the other wizards had set up magical tents or were resting comfortably in one of the many trunks laid out. Some were closed. Some were open with ladders coming out the top.

"Give me some names to have Mr. U look up," Harry said before leaving the two alone.

"Anthony and Samantha Jackson had two kids and an Uncle Leo," Fullerton recalled. "David Jugson, Deanna Jugson, Steven and Susan Smith had three children Zacharias, Jebediah, and… Lucille? No not Lucille. What was her name?"

"It's alright," Harry said waving him off. "I think that should be enough names. Anthony, Samantha, Leo, David, Deanna, Steven, Susan, Zacharias, and Jebediah. Got it."

"Thank you, Mr. Potter," Fullerton said with a bow of his head. He and Algernon slowly walked towards a couple of trunks still sitting in the corner.

Harry watched them set up for a minute before turning back towards the front of Serenity.

"What is this thing Harry?" Mal asked when Harry returned to the dining room.

"That is a very old pensieve," Harry answered. "Supposedly created by the wizard who made the first pensieve."

"And did you need a salad bowl for fifty?" Mal asked, looking at all the pieces that seemed to be detachable.

"Nope," Harry said. "I just let Fullerton take back the old pensieve he'd been using, since I could get this one."

"Is this one better?" Mal asked, tugging on one of the pieces hanging down.

Harry shrugged. "Historically, this one's priceless. And for viewing memories in large groups, it's much better. Those little dongle things come out, so you don't all have to crowd around the tiny personal bowls that later pensieves became."

"If you say so," Mal agreed. "I'd just prefer to be able to eat on our dining room table."

"I'm taking it back to my bunk now," Harry explained. "Don't worry."

Mal grinned deviously. "Oh speakin' of that. Considering the special needs of our cargo-"

"Special needs?" Harry asked curiously.

Mal nodded. "Your bunk's the public bathroom. But I think the line's gone down at least."

"Thanks Captain," Harry answered sarcastically. He continued in a more serious tone, "Once we get a name and a place to visit, any objections to taking off?"

"Jayne's off somewhere in Jersey," Mal answered. "But said he'd be back soon. The rest of us are ready to leave this dump anytime."

Harry opened his mouth to respond when he heard a high-pitched yelp, followed by woman's voice in the distance. "Harry Potter? The Harry Potter?" The sound she finished with could only be called a squee before an older man interrupted her gleeful shriek. "Dammit Marilyn! You're a hundred-forty-two. Act like it!"

Harry shut his mouth, having thought he might have escaped this part of his life. He shook his head and turned to Mal. "I'll let you know before we leave," Harry explained before hefting the massive bowl away to stash in his bunk area and set up a few aroma suppressant wards around the new public bathroom.

"We've just entered the atmosphere for Ariel," River said over the loudspeaker in a firm but disconcertingly pleasant voice. "We will be landing in downtown Ariel City, where the local time is now 6:37 PM. The temperature is a balmy eighty-one degrees Fahrenheit with five to ten mile per hour breezes coming out of the southeast."

"Is she always like this?" Algernon asked Harry.

"Yeah," Harry said with a smile. "Pretty much."

"We thank you for choosing Serenity Sky," River continued with a haughty air of politeness. "And hope you all have a mildly pleasant day."

Algernon looked at Harry again and finally just asked. "Are you and her… you know…you know?"

"Oh sheesh," Harry said closing his eyes and shaking his head. He thought about it for a moment and asked, "Who put you up to this?"

Algernon chuckled and admitted. "The doctor."

Harry sighed and began to think it might be time to get a little revenge on the soon-to-be father.

"Who are we meeting again?" Algernon asked as Fullerton finished transfiguring Algernon's robe to look like as muggle as Fullerton's outfit.

"Freddie Jugson and John Rodriguez are roommates. Both direct descendents of the Jugsons and Jacksons you know," Harry explained. "John Rodriguez's great, great grandmother had three sisters and no brothers, that's why that particular Jackson family doesn't carry the name Jackson."

"Two guys," Algernon answered sticking two fingers in the air. "That's all you gotta say. Two guys."

"Come on," Harry said as he felt the ship steady and power down. "We've landed."

"Harry," Mal jumped in. "I'd feel a lot better if you took some backup with you."

Harry looked over at Fullerton and Algernon who were wearing matching outfits. He got the feeling Mal was more uncertain about these two than he was about the people they were going to drop in on. Harry was ambivalent. "Alright."

"I'll go," Jayne perked up. "Got my grenades already."

Harry shrugged. "Can you at least keep quiet?"

"Prolly not," Jayne answered honestly.

"Close enough," Harry agreed. "Stay holstered though. These are upstanding core citizens and we're just talking to them."

Harry led Jayne, Algernon, and Fullerton out the back door of Serenity. They found some cover in a small copse of trees. Mr. Universe located a nearby empty alley, and gave Harry the coordinates. Harry held onto Jayne's shoulder while Fullerton and Algernon tagged along for the ride, apparating them all without a sound.

It was a very clean urban environment, but not so modern that it didn't feel like it had character.

"Nice neighborhood," Harry commented as they walked out from the Alley. He led them up half a block to the address Mr. Universe provided. There were a number of flyers stapled to the message board just inside the building, and Harry was guessing there was probably a university nearby.

Two flights of stairs led them to apartment 7G, where they stopped and knocked. It took a few seconds before footsteps could be heard. The door swung open and a pale freckled face answered the door with a smile. His smile faltered a moment when he saw two very old men, one scary looking large man with a very strange orange hat, and normal looking man faking a smile.

"Hello," the man Harry recognized as Freddie Jugson greeted warily.

"Freddie Jugson?" Harry stated, even though he knew the answer.

"I don't know," Freddie cautiously replied. "Who's asking?"

"Harry, Harry, Algie, and a man named Jayne," Harry answered for the group. "Can we come in?"

"No," Freddie said. "Not until you give me a reason."

Fullerton leaned forward conspiratorially and whispered, "It's about a certain secret order."

Freddie's eyes widened in understanding and waved them all in. "Really? I mean… don't answer that out here. Get inside."

Fullerton grinned victoriously at Harry. "You see? When you're in a secret order, the order just becomes more important."

"Yeah, yeah," Harry mumbled. "And I remember the secret order the Jugson I knew belonged to as well."

Freddie was looking at the four who walked in, wondering why in the world two old men were wearing matching outfits. "Wait a second. Did Johnny put you up to this?"

"Did I do what?" the man recognizable as John Rodriguez said entering the living room.

"Excellent," Fullerton grinned. "You're both here."

"You don't know these people?" Freddie asked his roommate John.

John shook his head negatively. "You two a really weird couple?" He asked looking at Algernon and Fullerton.

Fullerton got the feeling these two young men had the wrong impression and decided to find out a little background information. "Tell me, have you ever heard the name Harry Fullerton?"

John looked over at Freddie in shock. "How do they…"

Freddie swallowed the lump in his throat and answered, "Yes, of course we've heard of it. That's the leader of the wizard demons."

John snapped at Freddie. "Not the leader, he's the Master. The head Master."

"Oh dear," Algernon commented.

"Excuse me?" Fullerton said in a higher voice than expected.

"Wizard demon, eh?" Harry asked, realizing the situation was not going to go as smoothly as hoped. He didn't particularly want to give Jayne an excuse to shoot anybody. "What… umm… what exactly is the purpose of your secret order?"

John and Freddie exchanged a look. John answered, firm in his convictions, "It's our duty to protect the universe and keep the secret of wizard demons hidden."

"Our families have been entrusted with the secret location of the imprisoned immortal demons. It is up to us to make sure they never rise again." Freddie continued, just as proudly.

John nodded. "They look human, but they're not. They cannot die, only be imprisoned in netherworldly pockets of space using their own evil and dark voodoo against them."

"Huh," Jayne guffawed. "That sounds like a pretty accurate assessment."

"Oh dear," Algernon repeated.

Harry saw Fullerton's jaw had dropped open and was just hanging there stupidly. Harry grinned at the gob smacked old wizard. "Secret orders sure do take their jobs seriously."

"Well, I mean," John shook his head. "None of our families have had to fight any of the demons yet, so I guess that means we're doing a decent job."

"You intend to fight the demons?" Harry clarified.

"They may not be able to die," Freddie explained. "But you can hurt them. And there's ways to contain them. Temporarily control their demon minds and all."

"Wait," John said interrupting his roommate. "Are you saying the demons are going to rise soon?"

Freddie gasped, "Or have they risen?"

Harry opened his mouth and then shut it. All of the others hesitated to respond and the situation was correctly interpreted by the young Jugson.

Freddie turned to John and grabbed him on the shoulder. "It's them! They're the demons!"

"Here we go," Jayne said with a grin.

John said nothing to Freddie. He just jumped into action and began to run back towards the hallway.

Harry saw Jayne had drawn his gun, and decided it was time to intervene. Harry sent two quick stunners at both John and Freddie. His first one hit John, but Freddie had been downed by Fullerton's stunner before Harry's had even arrived.

"Hey," Harry said with a smile. "It's been a while since I've had another wizard around."

Fullerton nodded. He sighed after considering the situation. "We're going to have to obliviate them, but I'd like to know just how their little secret order turned into… this."

"Yeah," Harry admitted. "You're not gonna get any answers from them willingly."

"They seemed quite forthcoming when we got here," Algernon commented.

Harry blushed slightly and said, "I may have had something to do that."

"So what now?" Jayne asked kicking the unconscious men. "We cut open their brains?"

"Not yet," Harry said. "Let's try magic before we break out the spoons. These are your boys, Headmaster. You can pilfer them however you like."

Fullerton nodded and turned to Algernon. "Legilimency is authorized under wartime. Do you think we could justify these special circumstances the same way?"

"Are you serious?" Algernon asked Fullerton in confusion.

"Well, we don't have any veritaserum with us," Fullerton explained. "And I didn't figure you'd want to run back."

"Umm… I think he's more referring to the part that there is no authority to justify your actions to. Or rules you have to follow," Harry added. "Personally, I'm beginning to enjoy the Imperius."

Fullerton and Algernon glanced at each other in fear before turning to see if Harry was kidding.

"Oh please," Harry said. "Don't look at me like that. It's a just plain useful spell."

Fullerton flicked his wand and both unconscious men floated in the air. He gently set them down on separate couches and turned to his deputy. "You want to work on John Rodriguez while I see what I can find out from Freddie Jugson?"

Algernon agreed and moved over to the couch with John.

"Can you restrain them both?" Fullerton asked Harry, before realizing how rhetorical that must have sounded.

"I think I can manage," Harry said, casting a good old fashioned silent wandless Imperius curse on the unconscious Jugson.

Freddie sat up with his eyes open and glassy, moments before John did the same.

"They're not going anywhere," Harry told Fullerton and Algernon. Harry sat down on an edge of the couch leaving the recliner for Jayne. "Did you bring some cards?"

"This gonna take a while?" Jayne asked.

"It might," Harry said looking over as Fullerton and Algernon descended into the minds of Freddie and John respectively. "Muggles' minds are never organized, and they could be sifting through stuff for a while."

"These kids are young," Jayne said looking around. "They probably got a deck around here somewhere."

Jayne walked back into the bedroom that John had been running towards. He couldn't help but snicker at the bra hanging off doorknob. He saw a deck of cards just happened to be sitting there on the bed. Thanking his good fortune, Jayne grabbed the cards and prepared himself for a little gambling.

"Got some, right here," Jayne said walking back to the living room. Jayne and Harry played a couple dozen hands before Jayne asked, "So what exactly are they doing?"

"Same thing River does, just a bit more focused," Harry explained looking at his cards. He looked up at Jayne. "Surprisingly they're worse at this than me. But they're both finding out bits and pieces."

"Err… you can tell that?" Jayne asked curiously.

"Yeah," Harry explained. "The curse I'm holding them under lets me watch the same thing those two are seeing through their spells. It's just kinda tricky keeping track of all the things I'm seeing in their heads, as well as my own head and this game."

"Yeah, you did seem a bit distracted," Jayne said mucking his cards, acting as if he was doing Harry a favor by quitting the game, regardless of his inevitable defeat on this hand.

"With practice, it's not that hard," Harry said. "I mean I noticed the four times you've taken an extra card."

"Oh," Jayne admitted, knowing it did count as cheating if you got caught. "Why didn't ya say nothin'?"

Harry shrugged throwing his cards away too. "I cheated back on those hands."

"You did?" Jayne asked in surprise. "How?"

"I'm not telling that," Harry said with a grin. "Besides we should probably get going because I think those two are about done."

"Alright, I'll put the cards up," Jayne said getting the feeling he was lucky to have broken even.

"Don't," Harry said. "When we memory charm them, we'll just leave them thinking they've been playing cards."

Jayne shrugged while Harry stunned both Freddie and John. Fullerton and Algernon slowly sat up, having been jarred from their mental trances.

"I know a bit, but I didn't get it all," Fullerton explained. "Are we in a hurry? Do we need to leave?"

"Yeah, I didn't get a complete picture either," Algernon added.

"Well between the two of them, I did get a complete picture," Harry explained. "And I'm tired of waiting. Who knows when someone might drop by."

"Are you sure?" Fullerton challenged.

"According to the stories their fathers told them," Harry recited. "Back when the original settlers first landed, they unleashed an alien evil that possessed many of the friends of these guys' ancestors." Harry lazily explained, "The demon wizards were blowing people up, causing as much havoc as possible, and being a pretty general, all-around evil. The few families that managed to resist the demon possession, managed to trick the last few demons into sealing themselves away. Since then, it has been up to them to make sure the demons don't come back. As well check out new planets to make sure there aren't more evil demons taking over new settlers. So most of what you wanted them to do, they've been kinda doing."

Fullerton looked over Algernon and both found themselves agreeing with Harry's synopsis. "How'd you piece all that together?"

Harry grinned. "I told you Imperius was useful. I saw the same things you both did."

Fullerton didn't think anything good would come from conceding that point. "Have they found any new demons?"

Harry and Algernon both shook their heads. Harry answered, "Nope. But they keep wooden stakes, garlic, crosses, silver bullets, holy water, and audio of children's laughter nearby just in case."

Fullerton sighed. "This is disappointing."

"Let's just obliviate them and go," Algernon said.

"Be my guest," Harry said waving towards Fullerton. Harry looked down at his communicator and found out Serenity hadn't moved.

"Obliviate!" Fullerton incanted holding his wand up in front of the two petrified but conscious and frightened muggles. He wiped out a little over an hour just to make sure. "You have been playing cards for the last hour. You are not worried about any wizards or demons. And you think your families are overreacting about silly old superstitious fairy tales."

The glazed over looks on their faces indicated the memory charms had been successful. Knowing there was still going to be a minute or two of disorientation, Fullerton released the body bind spells and stood up. "Let's go."

Harry had River clear out of the bridge and apparated the group of four straight into the cockpit of Serenity. "Well that was quite informative. I hope we've all learned our lesson about secret orders."

"Yeah, yeah," Fullerton said waving Harry off. "I want to think about this for a bit. Cargo bay is that way?" Fullerton asked looking out the door.

"I'll show ya," Jayne offered. "I'm headed that way anyway." Jayne led the two older wizards towards the back. As they walked away Jayne could be heard asking, "You know if Jane's seeing anybody? Actually, let me rephrase that. You know if Jane's a fan of unconditional sex?"

"Good day?" River asked, seeing that it was safe to walk back onto the bridge and not risk a wizard appearing inside you.

"I'm not sure I'd call it good," Harry answered. "Got a few answers, they just weren't quite the answers we were looking for."

"Jayne get to shoot anybody?" River asked. "Or at least use a grenade?"

Harry shook his head. "Nope. Just manipulated a couple of muggles' brains because they thought we were evil demons. Then wiped their memories so they'd never know we were ever there. No harm, no foul."

River just nodded unsure what to make of the uncomfortable feeling her inner eye was giving her.

Stephanie Smith had always listened to the stories her parents told her about the things the wizard demons were capable of, but she figured they were just stories. She and John were about to get into one of their usual fights, that always ended up with make-up sex. She wasn't quite sure why make-up sex was better than the normal stuff, but for some reason it was. When there'd been a knock at the door, John assured her that Freddie would get it. They were about to continue their half-hearted spat when John started to get an uneasy feeling. He told her to wait in his room, while he went out to see who had been at the door. She was listening as they talked frankly about wizard demons, and she found it quite odd how open both John and Freddie were being with these strangers.

She knew her family was as much a part of the supposed secret order as anyone's and when she heard one of the guests say, "Secret orders sure do take their jobs seriously," she felt the need to introduce herself as well. Before she'd taken two steps out of the room though, she caught John's eye, he was shaking his head negatively at her. She caught on to his intention and stepped back out of sight. She listened to them discuss fighting the demons before Freddie's frantic voice identified the strangers as the demons in question. She held back a scream when she heard calls of stupefy and the sound of two thumps. She peeked around the corner and saw both John and Freddie were unconscious. She knew she had to hide.

She quietly snuck her way into the closet, trying to listen to the intruders while not being noticed. She heard one of them say he was looking for a deck of cards. She glanced over hurriedly and knew John kept his games in the closet. She grabbed a deck, slipped her hand out the closet door and tossed the cards right onto the bed. She pulled back out of sight and heard a man walk into the room. She was tempted to see what the demon looked like, but she was too scared.

She'd been holding her breath the whole time until he'd left the room. She stayed hidden in the closet not knowing what was going. She could hear them talking some, but couldn't make out what they were saying. She just remained silent and prayed for them to leave. It was only about a half hour, but it felt like an eternity. Suddenly the muffled conversation was gone and the apartment was totally silent. She stopped moving and waited a few more minutes, just listening for any sign of movement.

She heard someone get up and walk into the room. She wasn't sure who it was, but screamed in surprise when the closet door whipped open, blinding her as her eyes had adjusted to the closet's low light.

"Stephanie!" John said falling backwards in shock. "What the hell are you doing hiding in there?"

Stephanie lunged forward and hugged her boyfriend. "Oh, I was so scared."

John was comforting his girlfriend in confusion as he put the deck of cards back onto his game shelf. "When did you get here? Or… hold on, did you ever leave?"

"What are you talking about?" Stephanie asked. "It was those wizard demons! Did they do something to you?"

"Wizard demons?" John said skeptically. "You know those things are just superstition."

"No! You were just talking to them," Stephanie insisted frantically seeing the doubt on her boyfriend's face. "They were just here!"

"Are you feeling okay?" John asked worriedly. "I've been playing cards with Freddie for an over an hour now. I think you're taking those old wives tales a little too seriously. You need to settle down and think a bit more clearly."

Stephanie could see the honesty on John's face and realized he really had no idea. She knew the demons had to have done something to him and right now, she simply couldn't trust him. She forced a smile at John and agreed. "You're right. I am too tense. I think I'm gonna call it an early night."

"Okay, sweetheart," John said kissing her on the forehead. "You're welcome to stay here. I'll let you get some quiet and make sure Freddie keeps it down."

"Don't worry about it. I'm going to go." Stephanie said, patting John on the chest. "There's something I want to talk to my Dad about anyway."

"Is it important?" John said, sensing the anxiety Stephanie was feeling.

Stephanie shook her head. "No nothing important," she lied. "Just wanted his opinion on something that's all."

"As long as it's not about that wizard demon stuff," John retorted. "I think we've wasted enough time humoring our parents on that heebie-jeebie voodoo."

Stephanie just smiled and left as quickly as she could. She had to tell someone before the wizard demons got to her too.