A/N: HI EVERYONE! Bahaha. I'm back kind of. So wanna know what happened? In London, I lost my passport. Mucho fun right? It would so only happen to me, or maybe Bella. So then I got home and had a whole bunch of things for college to do. Had to go to Chicago- hehehehe- and registers etc etc. I leave for school in 12 days, but I'm going to try and bust out all this goodness as soon and as fast as possible. Therefore, there was no beta so any spelling, grammar, story things I got wrong, please excuse.

6. RUNAWAY

I wanna run away

Never say goodbye

I wanna know the truth

Instead of wondering why

I wanna know the answers

No more lies

I wanna shut the door

And open up my mind

I think I became lost after that moment. There was a sucking inside of me that ate my heart as Carlisle told me that I might not be able to make it either alive or un-dead. It was up to me to decide what we should try, but As things progressed I started to wonder- was there even a point to live anyone?

On paper the answer was no. There was no Rene, no Charlie, and no Edward. There wasn't even the little pests in my life like Eric, Mike, or Jessica. I was alone. Or I that's how I felt even if all the Cullens were doing their best to make me seem like part of the family.

A few weeks after waking for the final time, I finally moved out of the hospital like room that I had been sleeping in. Not only was there no reason to sleep, but my body had begun to reject it. I could pretend to sleep, but my brain never shut down. I was getting paler and yet my hair seemed glossier, of a fuller volume. It was all happening slowly though. No one noticed unless they compared me to a picture from when I was alive.

So instead of sleep, I had found a new hobby: Music. Right, so this is where we all laugh. Me playing music? That's just as comical and heinous of thinking me dancing ballet again? No, I wasn't going to play that dreadful piano- the one I avoided every time I entered the room and finally just avoided the room altogether- or any instrument for that matter.

No, I was a listener. An entire plethora of CD's sat in front of me and a sound system too good to let gather dust. This is where I sat every night for twelve hours and began spending most of my days as well; Edward's room. It still smelled of him.

"Bella... Belllaaa," a voice drifted into my ears as I listened to a Billie Holiday collection. My blood turned cold- or, er, colder than it already was- it couldn't be him right? Please let it be. I opened my eyes. It was Alice.

"Locking yourself in here all day is not going to make him return," she chided me with her hands on her hips. I ignored her and turned up the music; this was not her first attempt at getting me out and I knew she would eventually go away. Hopefully.

"Bella!" she whined. So wouldn't work. "Fine, I won't tell you about when he is going to return." Wait what? I looked to Alice and she grinned wickedly. Was I really that easy to manipulate? Yes. When it came to Edward yes times a million.

"Alice if you know something, you tell me now," I told her, flipping onto my stomach so I could see her better. She giggled and pranced into the room like a gazelle. I may have been somewhat turning, but I still had not developed such a beautiful grace. Bummer.

"Actually I don't know when he's returning, but Carlisle has gone to fetch him or try to at least. I haven't seen if it works yet though," she pouted openly. Gone to fetch him? They knew where Edward was? But they had told me that he just left. Left the moment he heard I was dead, wouldn't respond to their pleas for his return, nothing. He had stopped listening to them and them in turn were unable to find their youngest brother and eldest son.

"Wait, you know where he is?" I asked and she nodded.

"He owns a home in Chicago. It was his family's and he's kept it all these years," she told me simply. It was an easy answer. How come they didn't think of this before? I looked at her with a raised eyebrow and Alice only shrugged.

"So you don't know when he's coming back? Or even if he is?"

Alice shook her head and wandered over to the CDs to look at the cases. "Does it even matter? Shouldn't you be mad at him?" another voice danced gracefully into the conversation. Rosalie. I didn't even have to look at her to know it was her. Ever since my diagnosis she had become happier each day, but with her happiness came wickedness. I barely understood why, but I had a feeling it had to do with her jealousy fading along with my human traits.

"What do you mean she should be mad at him?" Alice shot back, replacing the Cds in a different order than that Edward had. She had a grin as if she knew what he would do when he found out and continued to switch them up even faster.

"Well, he left her! Here he says he loves her and then all of a sudden he leaves without even a goodbye!" Rosalie fought back walking into the room without an invitation and sitting down next to me on the leather sofa making me have to sit up finally.

"He thought she was dead though. If you killed Emmit wouldn't you run?" Alice glared at Rosalie. Uh, hello? I'm still here! I have opinions too you know! Yeah, totally not working. Forgot Edward was the only one who could hear thoughts. Oh wait, he couldn't even hear mine so then that was worthless. Continue please. I'll pretend I'm not here.

"No! I would have stayed. I mean, he wasn't at her funeral even," Rosalie spoke. She had a point. Edward just left... Ha. And I had thought he loved me, but instead he ran from the love and the broken heart.

"You don't know that!" Alice growled. Rosalie lifted an eyebrow.

"Alice... what do you know..." Obviously Alice was hiding something from us, from me. The little pixie shifted on her feet and went back to the Cds.

"Nothing." Hah! Fat chance. Pfft. I got up and walked to her, taking the Cds out of her hands.

"Alice was he there?" I asked gently. She pouted then buckled.

"No, okay, he wasn't. I don't think. I mean all I saw was him choosing to leave and I didn't have a chance to stop him. You know he's faster than any of us!" She spilled and probably if she could have cried she would have. "And all I know now is Carlisle just decided he was going to visit Edward after his last letter."

Wait, they were in correspondence? That means.- "So Edward knows Bella's alive and still hasn't returned?" Rosalie inquired. Ouch. That hurt. Stake right in the heart. Twisted even. I think my liver may have exploded even.

"No I didn't say that," Alice muttered. Hah! See, she didn't know which meant Edward might not know. But then again, he still left me. He left me when I needed him most. He wasn't there to save me again. He was no angel. He promised he'd stay with me as long as I wanted him there. Well I wanted him here, now, but he wasn't.

"Hmm, you think Carlisle will tell him when he visits?" Rosalie mumbled out her thoughts. She could leave you know. Maybe go jump off a bridge. I would so not mind.

"No."

I nodded. Right. So Edward was going to come back on his own, or that was the plan. I bit my lip in thought. I couldn't have that. He'd never return then. Or if he did, it might be to late. My body was sore and my blood thinning. Each day raw meat even seemed harder and harder to handle. Time was running out.

So that's when I decided I was going to go to Chicago.