Sassy: HA HA! WE'RE UPDATING!!!

Tom: I apologize to those who liked this story about how long it took us to update; we were caught up in other projects.

Angry Kitty: LIKE SCHOOL!!!

Tom: Yes … and this chapter is dedicated to hono'o neko, who gave us the idea of using Shigure as our next victim. Props to hono-chan!

Disclaimer: FOR THE LAST GODDAMN TIME, NO!

CHAPTER THREE

The set still looked like a dungeon, but the grime was gone from the walls. Tohru actually DID clean the ENTIRE set, only using a toothbrush! How sad.

"YAY WE'RE BACK!" Sassy shrieked.

"And HA! I didn't have to steal an audience!" Angry Kitty said proudly, twirling a machete absently in her paw.

Tom added, "We asked Ellen Degeneres if we could borrow her audience and she was surprisingly amiable."

"Maybe she saw what you did to Oprah." Flipper (who just now joined in the fun) commented absently.

"In any case," Tom continued as if Flipper hadn't spoken, "Please give a warm welcome to our new visitor, Shigure Sohma!"

Unlike the first two shows, Shigure walked onto the stage of his own volition, and the audience (who WASN'T chained up) gave him a standing ovation.

"This is boring!" Sassy whined unhappily.

"Yeah!" Angry Kitty agreed, "Where's the damn humor in this?"

Tom rolled her eyes and pressed a second button on the arm of her chair.

Silver manacles slid neatly out of the chair Shigure was sitting in;now he was trapped.

"Ooh, kinky!" He exclaimed.

"So Shigure!" Angry Kitty exclaimed, much happier, "After picking truth-

"When did I do that?"

"-I have a question: Do you even like dogs?"

"Ugh!" He yelled, disregarding the fact that they had chosen truth for him. "I'm allergic! I take my weight in allergy medicine every day! Why do you think I'm so bubbly and happy? Allergy medicine is better than those crappy anti-depressants Tohru's on for a mood elevator!"

There was a short silence, broken by Sassy (of course).

"Dude, what the fuck?"

Tom cleared her throat subtly, "Well, since we've just taken care of the Truth portion … I dare you to write your novel."

Shigure was flabbergasted, "WHAT?"

"At least two chapters."

NOW he was horrified. "NOOO!"

With a bit of creative maneuvering, they had him writing furiously on a spare pad of paper. If he stopped, he was electrocuted.

Mitchan appeared next to Sassy and watched him in cruel amusement before slipping all three animals a small wad of bills.

"WHAT THE HELL! You BRIBED them?" Shigure screeched.

Angry Kitty gave him a flat look. "It's not that hard. I don't see why Yuki has such a problem with it."

From offstage, Yuki began throwing a bitch fit.

Tom pulled out another remote control and pushed it. Suddenly the yelling stopped, as four sound proof walls had appeared around him.

"So anyways… big thanks to Ellen. And to think we almost killed you!" Sassy said cheerfully.

"I'm glade too," Ellen said with a nervous smile.

END

Tom: So ends chapter three.

Sassy: If you have any ideas for the victims to the next chapter, or audiences, we'd be glade to hear them!!

Flipper: (is eating popcorn and doesn't even noticed that we've ended it)

Tom: Thanks go to hono'o neko, Dr. Hairspray, Miss Narrarator Acoolie -Kiari-, Your Wings Are Mine, minagaleno, Moon Sphere, love4sesshomaru, Chris73, The Girly Man, Cats Go Meow, Kala Raish, and Starskysea for reviewing.

Sassy: 0o Damn!

Angry Kitty: So until next time!!!