Chapter 4:

Later that afternoon as CJ sat in her office, Josh came by and knocked on the doorframe to her office. "Go away Josh" CJ said without even looking up from her computer. "I just came by to…hey, how did you know it was me?"

"I can hear your swagger from a mile away Josh, now go away, I'm trying to get some actual work done." Instead on leaving, Josh simply leaned up against the doorframe and watched CJ type for a minute before she looked back up at him, "What!"

"You changed clothes" Josh observed with a smirk, "Your powers of observation astound me Josh," CJ said dryly as she continued to do her best to ignore and then gave up and said, "What do you want?'

"Well CJ, I just wanted to tell you that you shouldn't be embarrassed about your sex life." Finally looking up from her computer and taking off her glasses CJ said, "That's what you came here to tell me?"

"Well no," Josh admitted, "But the other thing isn't really all that important." "Okay then, go away." CJ said as she looked back down to her computer.

"Alright" Josh said smugly, "But I'm just saying that if I were the one who came to work in the same outfit I wore the day before, I wouldn't feel the need to have my assistant bring me a change of clothes."

"Does it give you some morbid sense of enjoyment to have this superiority to me? Do you feel all powerful now?" CJ asked in her usual joking manner. "As a matter of fact," Josh said with a wide smile, "It gives me a huge sense of satisfaction to know that I have finally managed to be better at something than you."

"Fine Josh," CJ said with a smile, "You win, now leave me alone and let me finish my work." "Alright" Josh said as he got ready to leave, "But just so you know" he said as he paused at the edge of her door,

"You really have nothing to feel ashamed about CJ, you are a beautiful, successful, smart, funny, and amazingly talented woman. I mean, come on CJ, this sort of embarrassment seems unnatural from the same woman who yelled out to a courtyard full of people that she was great in bed. So unless you slept with John Hoynes, you really have nothing to feel embarrassed about."

Noting CJ's awkward silence and the newly-formed blush rising to her cheeks, Josh said worriedly, "You didn't sleep with John Hoynes did you CJ!"

"No Josh, no" CJ said hurriedly as held up her ands to stem the flow of his worried words. "That's good, because if you had it would be a bad thing, and…" Interrupting his relieved reaction, CJ whispered to herself, "It's so much worse."

"CJ?" Josh said quietly as he closed the door behind him and continued with a new sense of sincerity, "CJ, what's wrong? How could you possibly have done anything worse than sleep with Hoynes?"

"I…I don't think that I should be telling you this Josh" CJ said with a somewhat shaky voice, "But I just really need to talk to someone." Taking a seat on her couch, Josh looked up at CJ and said, "CJ you can tell me anything, I'm here for you."

"Okay" CJ said as gathered her composure to tell one of her best friends something that she had done that would haunt her forever. "So you remember that last night was the congressional election," "Of course" Josh said gently prompting her to go on, "And we were all pretty drunk after the party," "Yeah, Toby even laughed for once."

"Josh, please…just please let me get this out before you say anything, alright" CJ asked with a pained look in her eyes, "Oh, of course, I'm sorry I won't interrupt you again."

Taking a breath and looking into his eyes, CJ faltered, "Oh god, I don't know if I should be telling you this, I mean he told me that I could tell whoever I want, but I just don't know if I should. And I really don't want you to hold thins against me, so maybe I just shouldn't tell you…"

"Whoa CJ, slow down" Josh said kindly as he placed his hand on her forearm, "I don't know what you're talking about, but whatever it is I promise that I won't 'hold it against you'. I just can't possibly imagine what on earth you think is so bad, I mean what could you possibly have done to make you think that I or any of the other staff won't accept you?"

"I slept with the president" CJ said very quietly into her hand. "What? I'm sorry CJ, I couldn't hear you."

"I said I slept with the president!" CJ all but yelled, only keeping her voice down out of fear that someone else might hear.

"The president of what?" Josh asked in his usual clueless manner, "Where do you think Josh?" CJ said in a desperate voice. Looking at her and seeing the look of immense regret in her eyes Josh leaned forward and said, "No, no you couldn't possibly mean…" "Yes Josh, that's exactly who I mean. President Jed Bartlet."

"Oh CJ," Josh said as the reality of the situation sunk in, "How did this happen?" Instead of yelling at him and asking 'how the hell should she know', CJ sank back into her chair and finally allowed some of her own concerns to be voiced.

"I don't know how it happened Josh. Everyone who knows keeps asking me how it happened or what I was thinking, but the truth is that I don't even remember.

I remember that we both drunk, that the president offered me a ride back to the White House, and then I remember waking up naked in bed with the most powerful man in the world, who might I add is already married, and seeing my clothes scattered all over the floor."

As she said this Josh cringed at her visual imagery that was infecting his imagination, "But do you want to know what the funniest part is?" CJ asked as tears began to form in her eyes, "The funny part is that for all I know nothing could have happened. This could all just be some big over reaction, because I really don't remember one shred of last night."

"Well then maybe you're right" Josh said trying to comfort himself as much as to comfort her, "Maybe you really didn't sleep with him and it's all just a big accident." Laughing at Josh's ignorance even at a time like this, CJ said, "Even if that were true, which it probably isn't given all of the clothes that were lying on the floor, how do you think the press would react to that? There's no way anyone would believe it."

Giving up on any attempt to disprove the horrid truth, Josh said, "Have you spoken with the President yet today?"

"You mean other then when I practically sprinted out of the residence this morning? Yes, he called me into his office this morning, but I told him that I just wasn't ready to face this yet." "That's understandable" Josh said comfortingly.

"Yeah, he told me that I was free to talk to whomever I liked about this, and that he was going to talk to Abbey as soon as she gets home this evening." "You mean he's going to tell her that the two of you slept together!" Josh asked in a panicked voice.

"My thoughts exactly, but yes, he is a good husband and he's going to talk to her right away when she get's home. So now not only am I going to be in major trouble with the first lady, but I'm also going to lose one of my closest female friends."

"I'm so sorry CJ" Josh said as he came over to where she was leaning against her desk and put his arm around her, "But I'm sure that you can get through this just fine." Leaning her head against his chest CJ sighed, "I'm not sure Josh. I mean Leo said he was sorry too, but it doesn't really make the situation any better."

"That's true CJ, and I'm sorry that I can't simply fix this whole mess for you, but…did you say that Leo knows?" "Yeah" CJ said with a little laugh, "The president is very good about telling people that he trusts who are sure to make my life hell."

"What did Leo say?" Josh asked as CJ sat up to look at him, "He asked my what the hell I was thinking and then said that he was sorry things had to end up this way but that he expects my resignation when the story breaks."

"He wants you to resign over this! There's no way CJ, he can't ask you to resign because of a stupid little mistake that isn't even all your fault, and why would he? I mean he thinks of you like a daughter."

Even as the words escaped his mouth, Josh knew he had said the wrong thing. He watched as CJ cringed slightly when reminded of the words that had once been spoken regarding the president himself.

"I'm sorry CJ, I didn't mean to remind you of…" Holding up her hand to stop him, CJ said, "It's okay Josh, really, it's not even the resignation that bothers me, Leo is right to put the needs of the presidency first, I just wish that I could stay a little longer."

"We could fight this CJ, you don't need to leave your job that you are so good at simply to cover the public's impression of the president." "That is my job Josh! To be sure that the public has a positive impression of the president, this is just a larger extension of that duty."

Sighing and looking out the window CJ said, "My only regret is that my friends are all going to see the image in the newspapers and their never going to know the truth."

"What image are you talking about CJ?" Josh asked carefully as he knew that she had not really been directing that comment at him. "I didn't mean to say anything about it…it really isn't all that important" CJ tried to cover quickly as Josh interrupted her.

"I think it is important, you said it was your one regret about the whole situation which means that obviously it's important to you."

Looking back into his eyes and realizing that she truly could trust him, CJ said, "You're right, it is important to me. But if I tell you about this you have to promise to keep this confidential, not even to tell Sam or Toby." "I promise." Josh said with real sincerity in his voice.

"Leo and I made a deal that in order to save the president's chances at re-election when this news breaks, I am going to have to create some sort of image or spin on the story. Leo thinks that the best way to do that would be to portray the president as a lonely, drunken man, which is true, and to portray me as a… I believe the words he used were to portray me as a 'power-hungry woman who is very opportunistic'."

Giving her a look of complete shock Josh stammered, "He wants to make you look like some sort of hoar in the public's eye! That's insane, that's unreasonable and not fair to ask at all!"

Smiling sadly at his idealism and at the reflection of her own thoughts that she could hear in his words, CJ said, "Josh you've been working in politics for god knows how long and have you ever once found it to be a business where being 'fair' matters?"

Shaking his head Josh consented, "No, no of course being fair doesn't matter. Look CJ, I'm really sorry that it has come to such an ending and I will be here to do anything I can to stop it from getting to that point. I just want to let you know that although I may be slightly mortified at the idea of you and the president together," CJ laughed a little at Josh's way to make any issue seem like something small to be joked about, "I'll stand by you on this the whole way CJ, and I'm here if you need anything."

"Thank you Josh" CJ said with her first real smile all day, "I really appreciate it, and I'm glad to know I have you as a friend right now." Then seeing how sappy the moment was getting ready to turn, CJ wiped away the tears that had fallen from here eyes during their conversation, and laughed as she said, "Now get back to your office and do some work or they'll be asking for your resignation next."

XXXXX

Next up is a conversation with Abbey (ooh fun). Reviews are very welcome!