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Okay, this is the last part of this story…But keep looking back for a sister story to this, explaining Mac's ordeal and just what she went through in the lead-up to this storyline. It will pick up immediately after she turns up at/leaves the hospital in Blacksburg ( I haven't quite sorted out the details yet, things are kinda sketchy.) Don't know quite when that'll be. I'm kinda constrained by the loss of my laptop (RIP Smoky Kevin!) As always feedback is much appreciated!
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Part 6
Harm nodded again and requested, "Permission to continue with packing, Sir? I'm markedly behind everyone else in the evacuation process, Sir…"
"Don't worry about that, Commander. You and I will be catching a separate flight from everyone else, tomorrow. In the meantime, we've got issues we need to discuss, somewhere private."
"Uh, how about out back, Sir?" Harm suggested, leading his CO downstairs and outside.
They sat on the back steps of the wrap-around porch, before Cresswell began to speak. His words were formed in the moment, all of his carefully thought-out speech going straight out of his head. He never could have anticipated just how much emotion would be swirling around the two of them, in this moment. Harm could not shake the overwhelming sadness that Mac would not be joining them, as they put their lives in DC back together. Gordon could not help but loathe himself for his part in a lie that he had had little control over.
"Son, do you remember your first flight after graduating from flight-school?"
Harm looked at him for a little while then something seemed to spark.
"Of course, sir…"
"Do you remember the first run-in you had with your CO?"
"Yes," Harm smiled a little, this time.
"Do you remember the first time you questioned what you were being asked to do?"
Harm nodded, "It was often in the back of my mind, but I do remember one time when I questioned my CO aloud. We'd just completed a bombing run that had resulted in one of our missiles hitting an orphanage, killing 30 children. The skipper sat me down and explained that even with all of the technology that we had, there would always times when mistakes were made and unfortunately, innocents would most often pay the price for those mistakes, not us. But unlike our enemies, we didn't kill indiscriminately. And we would mourn for those lives lost just like we mourned for fellow soldiers killed, because we cared for those we were fighting to protect, abroad and at home. In the end, it turned out that every one of those children had already been dead, because intel had leaked back to the enemy about the bombing run, the day before. Those children had died in the weeks before the bombing, because the regime was starving its people into obedience."
"I bet you must have thought your CO was crazy, at first, huh?" Cresswell was surprisingly candid.
"Uh, yeah, I must say that it did cross my mind, General…I soon learned better, of course."
"Because at that point you were not able to look at the whole picture…" Cresswell continued.
"Yes, I suppose so," Harm agreed with that assessment.
"Well, I need you to trust me now," Cresswell turned to Harm, looking him in the eye not only as a CO, but as a mentor, "I know you've never had the respect for me that you had for AJ Chegwidden…"
"Sir…" Harm went to object, but Cresswell silenced him, continuing, "Nine years is a long time to have one CO and I know that our time as CO and subordinate officer has barely begun in comparison, but I need you to trust me. I need you to give me time to show you the whole picture."
"I understand, Sir," Harm nodded and without a word more, he and Gordon got to their feet and shook hands. Harm excused himself to go and finish packing, not worrying about the fact that everyone else had by now finished and were getting ready to climb into the van or accompanying car that the CIA had provided.
Soon, they were long gone and Harm was finally loading his belongings into the trunk of Cresswell's car.
"Where are we going, Sir?" Harm asked, once they were on the road.
"Somewhere I thought you might appreciate," Cresswell replied, "I know the past few months have likely been the worst of your life and I thought maybe this might provide a short distraction for you."
Harm looked out of the window at the road signs and the surrounding scenery, but of course none of it meant anything to him.
"I need to explain further what I only began to tell you, earlier, Harm," Cresswell finally continued, after a pause to ponder his thoughts.
"You mean about your duty as a CO, above what you wish you could do, Sir?" Harm asked.
"Exactly that…" Gordon nodded, "There have been times in my career when I've had to make sacrifices for the good of my career. That can sometimes be a little bit difficult when it impacts myself, but it's never harder than when in impacts my family or my staff. These past few months have been without a doubt some of the hardest in my life, too. I've hated this knowledge that I've had to upend the lives of my staff and their families…"
"But for our own wellbeing, Sir," Harm pointed out, before noticing a sign for a tourist attraction nearby; what was the state's rose-garden.
His mind briefly pondered it, but let the thought go when Cresswell resumed.
"Yes, for the sake of the flock, you understand? Like a priest would say, the shepherd always has to think of the flock, keep the herd together, intact, so that none are lost along the way."
Harm had a funny feeling come over him, when the General pulled into a parking space, in view of a large gazebo adorned with flowering trailing vines. The sense of unease increased, when Clayton Webb stepped from its shaded confines.
"What do you mean, Sir? I know you've been thinking about the rest of the staff, but one of our own was lost along the way…I'm not blaming you, but…"
"That's what I need to explain to you, Commander. When the Colonel's car was forced off the road, immediate measures needed to be taken, in order to protect my whole staff. I came across the whole event, on my way to meet the Colonel. She was going to update me on what she had uncovered during her investigation and she was worried about doing that over the phone. When I got there, her car was already burnt out…"
"No, Sir…" Harm closed his eyes, as the scene seemed to form in his mind, "Please don't…"
"You need to hear this, Harm," the General pressed on, "You have to know. I didn't want any part in it, but for the good of my staff, I had to go along with it. We didn't know if it was just a threat against the Colonel, or the whole of our staff…which later proved to be true. But everyone needed to be put into hiding, immediately. Nobody but trusted people at the FBI and CIA could know where we all were or how many were at each location. I had no choice but to turn everyone's life upside-down, for their own safety. Lying like this has only doubled my own personal hell, but for her own safety, I had to lie to you all…"
Harm was still shaking his head, trying to rid his mind of those awful images, but somewhere, part of his brain registered what Cresswell was saying and thought, 'Wait, there must be some mistake…I can't be hearing this…'
"Webb said that the two of you met in a rose-garden and I thought this was just one way that I could begin to make it up to the two of you."
Gordon grabbed Harm's hand, dropping two sets of keys into them, before continuing.
"I hope you can someday accept my most profound apologies…but in the meantime, I'm going to leave you to it, because there's somebody waiting for you…"
When Harm first looked, he only saw only Clayton Webb and thought that this must be one colossal joke. But right before his disbelieving eyes, the woman who had haunted his dreams for months stepped out from behind a mass of purple blooms. Her hair was shorter and she appeared to have lost almost as much weight as he had, but it was still the Mac he knew and loved.
Harm sat stock-still, with his mouth hanging open for a few seconds, before he roused himself and began to get out of the car. The keys he'd forgotten about dug into his palm as he attempted to open the passenger door with them still there. He slipped them into his pocket once he realized, returning his malfunctioning brain to the task of crossing the distance between him and his Ninja-Girl.
This all felt surreal. Any time now, he was going to wake up in his bed at the safe-house, just like all of those other times.
Mac approached him with equal trepidation. He could see it in her eyes; she was scared out of her wits.
"I'm so sorry," she apologized, trying to keep control on her brimming emotions, "I didn't know…I just thought they were keeping me safe…they didn't tell me the whole truth until an hour ago…they never said that…that you thought…"
She was shocked into silence as he fastened his hand around her biceps and yanked her to him with a force that almost caused her whiplash.
"It's okay…it's real? It's really happening?" he mumbled, in dazed amazement.
"Yes, it's real," Mac confirmed, cradling the back of his head with one hand, "I'm real, this is really happening."
"I dreamed about this so often, it's just hard not to believe it's another dream," Harm's voice cracked, as he let go of the emotions that he'd been wrangling with since the General had pulled into the parking lot. Hell, some of this he'd never completely released from inside of him in all the time they'd been in hiding.
"It's happening," Mac comforted him again, "This nightmare is over. We can all go home, now."
Harm suddenly pulled away from her, a look of rage in his eyes.
"Not until I go and break Webb's nose again!"
"No," Mac bolted after him, "Please, Harm, no. He didn't want to do this, but it was the only way to keep us safe…"
She managed to hold him back from where Webb was looking mighty skittish.
"How did making us believe you were dead 'keep us safe'? I thought my world had ended, Mac!"
Harm dialed down his anger as he saw the look of pain and guilt across Mac's face, at this confession. It was pain and guilt, he reminded himself, that she didn't deserve.
"I'm sorry, Mac," Harm hugged her again, "This has all just been an emotional rollercoaster…You did nothing wrong. You were lied to, that's all…But I don't get why all of this had to happen…"
"I had a hit placed upon me by a South American militant group linked to the case that I was investigating," Mac revealed, "and so did everyone at JAG, because of their potential knowledge of the details I might have passed back to them. All week, I had uncovered bits and pieces of information and even some of the members involved in the group's potentially profitable drugs-for-weapons exchanges. The FBI and CIA had been monitoring them for some time, but had decided not to act, but they began to worry when they heard about my investigation. Because of the attention that might be brought to their organization, the militants had decided to take revenge, starting with me. I was run off the road, but I escaped before one of their missiles hit my car. I hid until the General arrived and of course, the CIA was the first agency to show up. Since Webb is one of the few people that the General even slightly trusts and because he owes us, the General requested his involvement. And when Webb told him that this was the only way, he took him at his word."
"But was it the only way?" Harm glared in Webb's direction and Webb took this opportunity to speak up in his own defense.
"Looking back, maybe not…but we had so little information, back then and once it was done, there was no way we could change the measures we had taken. Not until all of the organization had been neutralized and there was no further threat against your lives. I'm sorry, Harm…I'm sorry you've all had to go through this but and believe me when I say this; I was doing it to keep Sarah safe. And to keep you and the people at JAG safe."
"We have to focus on moving forward, now," Mac yanked Harm's attention back, "There's a lot of wrongs we need to right and the most pressing matter is to let the others know that I'm safe…"
"One of my agents should be doing that," Webb spoke up again, "But as we speak, they are all on their way to the nearest international airport."
"When are we getting out of here?" Mac asked.
Harm had completely forgotten about the keys the General had given him, but before he could get a hand in his pocket, his question was answered.
"I," Webb told them, "have to be on a plane to the first of what promises to be many God-forsaken hell-holes…You two, however, have a couple of rooms booked at the motelon the other side of these gardens, so that you can rest-up. The general will be by to pick you up by 1400, tomorrow afternoon. You will all be flying by Navy-transport directly to Norfolk."
Once he had finished what he had to say, Harm and Mac were so involved in one another that they didn't see the spook make his quick exit.
"I can't imagine what you've been through, these last few months," Mac shook her head, more tears escaping, "If I thought it was bad to be separated from all of you…You thought…"
"Shhh!" Harm hugged her close, "Don't think about it anymore…There's nothing we can do about it…The important thing is that it's put every road-block we're ever hid behind into perspective…"
"You mean the ones standing in the way of us pursuing a relationship?" Mac's heart was beating out of her chest. It seemed that they were finally on the same page, so suddenly after the long period where their lives were turned upside-down. Fate had an amazing was of shaking you life into order, when you least expected it.
"Do you want to identify anything still standing in our way?" Harm asked, "Because I sure don't. Regardless of the dangers that might be hiding beneath that calm surface, I just want to dive in, head-first."
"I'm sure that the dangers are there," Mac nodded, "but in the face of what we were facing just yesterday, they seem miniscule…If it means I have to transfer, then so be it."
"And if we risk our friendship, the life we had with one-another," Harm added, "then so be it…I just know the risk is smaller than not having you in my life anymore, without telling you how I feel about you…"
"How do you feel about me?" Mac had pondered whether she should ask, she knew Harm held his emotions carefully guarded, but she just had to know.
"I now know exactly how I feel about you, Mac," Harm told her, "No uncertainties whatsoever. I know that I love you so much, it's hard to breathe without you."
The declaration was so genuine that Mac felt her own breath hitch in her chest.
"What about you, Ninja-girl?" Harm asked, with a smile, "Turn-about is only fair-play. How do you feel about me?"
"My feelings certainly aren't in half-measures, Harm," Mac cupped his face, tenderly, with one hand, "When I stand here, I feel like I'm looking at the other half of my soul…I love you and I don't ever want to be without you…"
Mac barely drew a breath after her confession, before Harm pulled her to him once more, fusing his lips with hers.
And so, they started along the road of new beginnings, one that held a shared destiny…and what more fitting a place for new beginnings than in a rose-garden?
FIN