Author: gothfeary (a.k.a. Kat)
Title: Rule # 140
Series: This is why we have Rules
Rating: T for talk of "mature" themes. (According to some people drinking is a mature theme. WTF?) Oh, and two swear words.
Summery: Rule 140) Don't take Thor drinking.
a) Or any other Aliens.
b) Other than Teal'c, Bra'tac or Selmak/Jacob.
1335 word. (Yes I know, it's very long!)
Spoilers: Season 8 "Moebius.
Disclaimer: I don't own Stargate, but I do own the stupid situations I put these poor characters into! Oh, and SG-3 and Floppy. I own them, but I'll share with you guys! No alcohol was abused in the making of this fic.
A/N: Well, thanks to you guys, I am now no longer among the impending Un-Dead. I really should be studying right now… but my anthropology text book is making me go cross-eyed, so yay for procrastination!
(thoughts or emphasis)
- - - - -
"I can't believe we didn't do this years ago," exclaimed Sam with a sigh of contentment.
"Well, let's not dwell." Jack shot her a smug look that plainly said, I told you so. Samantha turned her attention back to the water just in time to see a fish leap out of the water.
"Didn't that video say there were no fish in you pond"
"Close enough," Jack replied lazily.
"That's the last of it," panted Daniel as he promptly dropped his end of the packed cooler he and Teal'c had carried down from the Black SUV at the end of the dock beside the rest of his team.
"Sweet!" Jack turned around and opened the green cooler eagerly. About to pull a Guinness out from the ice, Sam reached over and smacked his hand away.
"Wait for everyone else," she scolded. "They'll be here shortly. You can be patient." With an exaggerated pout, Jack pulled his hand away.
"Did they say when they were arriving O'Neill?" asked Teal'c as he unfolded a lawn chair of his own.
"The Prometheus should be dropping Dad, Jonas, Bra'tac, and the rest off within the hour. Thor should be coming any time." Sam answered.
"I can't believe you invited Thor to, in your words, a 'we just saved the universe, so let's get hammered' party." exclaimed Daniel.
"I just can't believe he accepted!"
"Well," Sam laughed, "he did say he wanted to learn more about human customs.
- - - - -
Samantha Carter was outside pulling the last of the lawn chairs out of Jack's shed while the men were inside trying to get all the food prepared, when a blinding white light caused her to shield her eyes. Looking at her watch, she noted exactly an hour had passed.
"Greeting Colonel Carter," Thor spoke in his normal soft tones, "It is good to see you are well."
"You too, Thor." She gestured back at the cabin with her left hand, "The rest of SG-1 is just inside."
"Have I arrived late?" he asked, tilting his head in a questioning gesture.
"No, the Prometheus just called in to say they'll be beaming everyone from the SGC down in 10 minutes. The guys are getting the food ready."
Thor nodded his thanks, "I believe I shall go and see if I may be of assistance in any manner." Suppressing a giggle at the mental image of Thor in an apron at the grill, she watched the small grey alien walk into the open kitchen. This, she though to herself, should be an interesting night.
By ten o'clock, the mid-summer sun was just dipping below the horizon, and the night was in full swing. Rya'c and his wife were seated at a small table deep in conversation with Cassie and (of all, 'people') John, who was also known as 'mini-Jack'. General Hammond, Jacob and Selmak were trading drinking songs by the campfire, and SG-2 was right in the middle of a drinking contest with Jonas.
"Alright Thor," said Jack, taking a seat across from the Supreme Commander with SG-1 in tow, "would you care to join us in one of Earth's oldest and proudest traditions?"
The twinkle in his eyes from all the booze was mirrored in Sam, Daniel, and for once Teal'c.
"Of course O'Neill. I am most curious." Thor was perched atop an empty cooler, as it was one of the only seats available that he could easily get up from.
"Sweet!"
Daniel proceed to set down the load he carried in his arms on the free surface of the cooler. Thor took in three 8 oz. glasses, a single shot glass and a black labelled bottle filled with an amber liquid.
"This," he proudly proclaimed, "is what we call Jack Daniels. And before you ask, it's not named after me and Daniel."
"One of the best whiskies out there," added Sam with a goofy grin.
Taking the bottle in his hand, Jack opened it, and began to pour. After filling the larger glasses to about three-quarters, he then poured the shot glass to the half mark.
"Since you're kinda small, I'm only giving you a half-shot," he explained, "and I'm giving the rest to Teal'c since it takes so damn much to get him trashed"
"Trashed?" Thor questioned.
"Drunk." replied Daniel.
"If this liquid causes intoxication, then why do you consume it?"
"Because some people enjoy the taste." Sam went on, throwing a look over at Feretti who had passed out on the ground after losing to Jonas, "or the whole point is to get drunk."
"I see…" Thor sounded thoughtful. On one hand, he did not wish for his mental facilities to become impaired, yet on the other, he wished to experience this 'tradition.' Making up his mind, he picked up the shot glass in his slender fingers and waited for O'Neill to continue.
SG-1 exchanged evil grins, when they saw him take up his glass. Taking their own, or in Teal'c's case the bottle, Jack began.
"This is called a toast. It's to celebrate something important. In our case, saving the whole freaking universe." Turning to the blond next to him, "Carter, do you want to do the honours?"
"Yes sir!" with a mock salute, she stood up, drink in hand.
"O'Neill, what is it I should be doing with this?"
"When we drink, you drink Thor." answered Daniel from his place next to him.
"Not just sip; you drink the whole thing back."
Nodding his head, Thor spoke, "I understand"
Jack nodded to Carter, giving her the go-ahead.
Samantha Carter loudly cleared her throat, and the crowd slowly quieted down. After a moment or so, she spoke up.
"You all know why we're here celebrating tonight," her sure voice rising over the sounds of nature, "we are here to celebrate doing the impossible!" Cheers erupted from the partially drunk and very relaxed crowd. "We saved the fucking universe!" she hollered in sheer celebration, her voice carrying over the shouts, "Cheers!"
Picking up their drinks, almost as one everyone raised them before throwing back the last of their drinks. Thor watched with fascination as Col. Carter drank down the liquor in matter of seconds. Finding courage in her act, Thor put the small glass to his mouth and took the whole thing in a single sip.
As soon as he was able to get past the burning sensation that flooded him, Thor instantly noticed the planet seemed to be spinning much faster than he knew it should be...
- - - - -
It was ten a.m. the next day when Teal'c was finally able to stand without throwing up.
Sometime after eleven and two Aspirins, Daniel Jackson finally convinced the mariachi band in his head to stop playing so loudly.
Noon rolled around and Jack and Sam had yet to emerge from his bedroom.
By two p.m. everyone who had passed out at the cabin had been beamed back to Colorado Springs.
Everyone except SG-1, who were nursing their hang-overs, and trying to take care of a still drunk Thor, the Supreme Commander of the Asgard Fleet. After spending the rest of the day in front of Jack's television watching a drunken Thor sit through every season of 'The Simpson' with rapt fascination, SG-1 sighed with relief when he finally passed out on the couch.
"We are so screwed when we get back!" moaned Daniel as he cradled his head in his hands.
Jack walked out of his bed room where he had taken a call on his cell phone, "Oh, it gets better." The sarcasm practically dripped from his words.
"How?" asked Sam, dreading the answer.
"Seems the Asgard High Council expected Thor back this morning to begin rebuilding Othalla." Daniel went pale, and Teal'c looked like he might vomit again. "Seems they spoke with Hammond and the President this morning."
"Scratch being screwed, Daniel." began Sam.
"They would like to have a few words with us when we get back tomorrow." Jack finished.
"We're fucked." she finished.
-End-
A/N 2: I know it's really long, especially compaired to the last few, but I just didn't feel comfortable shortening it anymore. I thought this one actually required a bit of a plot. As, I feel that Thor isn't just the sort to say "Hey, I think I'll go ghet drunk!" He would need a really good reason, and like any good reason there is a long story behind it! I hope I didn't bore you. So let me know, and click the shiny review button.
-Kat