Author: gothfeary (a.k.a. Kat)

Title: Rule # 76

Series: This is why we have Rules

Rating: K. Absolutely no naughty business at all… but maybe next time!

Summery: Rule 76) "Donald Where's your Trousers?" by the Dust Rhinos is not to be sung off-world.
825 words.

Spoilers: None

Disclaimer: I don't own Stargate, but I do own the stupid situations I put these poor characters into! Oh, and SG-3 and Floppy. I own them, but I'll share with you guys!

A/N: For those of you who live in the Manitoba, Canada area you might just want to know that The Dust Rhinos are playing here in Winnipeg at a local Irish pub on Saturday, October 21st at 10 p.m. (See their website for details) So show up, and look for the brunette in the green tee shirt out on the dance floor, that'll be me!

- - - - -

Colonel Blair McEnvoy paced the briefing room, much to the annoyance of Captain Cameron Jackson and Lieutenant David Hebert. The two looked on from their seats at the conference table, as their C.O. slowly but surely attempted to wear down the floor in front of the viewing window that looked down into the gate room. They were waiting for General Landry; the team would finally be getting a new civilian specialist, probably another linguist or cultural anthropologist.

The door opened, and General Landry walked in. SG-3's eyes went immediately to the body that followed him. They were greeted by chocolate eyes, partially hidden under fawn coloured bangs and a confidant grin.

"SG-3, meet your new member, Dr. Marie Brown, linguist and archaeologist." The young woman in question stepped out from behind the General, and offered her hand to Col. McEnvoy.

"Hi." her grasp was firmer than he would have expected, letting him know she would be different from all the other newbie civies; she would be able to handle herself right from the start.

"Well," said the General, heading back out the door, "I'll leave you all to get acquainted. Oh, and SG-3, Dr. Brown will be the only member of your team authorized to carry grenades." With that, he left a very confused linguist staring at her very red new team mates.
- - - - -
PR2-655, two days later.

SG-3 had been assigned a routing first contact as a warm-up first mission for Dr. Brown, giving them a chance to get a new team dynamic worked out. SG-3 had been impressed with the way Dr. Brown handled the first meeting, winning the trust and respect of the chief and the head priestess. In fact, things went over so well, they were even allowed to look at and translate the sacred tablets, much to the joy of Dr. Brown when she discovered they were left behind by the Ancients.

Roughly five or so hours before the local chief Gealen and the priestess Brigit were to come to their camp to collect the tablets, Marie found herself enjoying a quick meal of soup and bread, which was apparently about as good as the food got when they were off world. Finishing her meal, she pushed back from the portable table with a sigh.

"Well, I'm gonna go throw some music on my laptop. I hate trying to translate in a quiet place." Popping the last of her bread into her mouth, she set her empty bowl to the side for Cameron to wash (it being his turn to clean up after the meal), and went back over to the flat rock where her computer sat. After a moment, and a few clicks of the mouse, the throaty voice of a singer accompanied by what sounded like violins and an acoustic guitar was heard.

"Well I've just come down from the island sky,
I'm awful big and I'm not too shy.
Ladies shout as I pass by, 'Donald where's your trousers?'
Let the wind blow high, let the wind blow low.
Through the streets in a kilt I'll go.
All the lassies say 'Donald where's your trousers!'"

She began singing along the fast paced Celtic style music as she settled herself comfortably on the ground with her notes and the stone tablets.

Curious about the music they heard, the rest of the team soon found themselves asking more about the band, and asking to hear more of the music. "Donald where's your trousers?" soon became a team favourite.

SG-3 was so wrapped up in their respective work, all the while singing along to the music, they failed to notice Gealen and Brigit when they arrived. They stood silently observing the group as they sang, even if it was off-key.

"What is it you sing?" Gealen questioned, finally speaking after the song had ended.

"This is a group from my home called 'The Dust Rhinos'." Replied a stunned Marie, "They play a kind of music known as 'Celtic rock'. I believe you would enjoy it."

The Priestess Brigit, who until now had been silent, took in the words and asked, "What is a 'kilt'?"

"It's a piece of patterned cloth that is worn pinned around the waist, coming down just past a persons knees. Different patterns represent different families, or 'clans' and is worn by both men and women."

"And your people wear this garment?" Marie, who had begun carefully packing up the tablets in the soft animal skins they had been wrapped in, answered with out thinking.
"Yes. Actually, they are quite comfortable and liberating."

"Why?" Gaelen asked, confused. For the Tau'ri were clearly all wearing pants. Yet the scholar claimed they did not usually.

Marie suddenly realised just what it is she had said. "Oh, crap." Turning to Col. McEnvoy, she said "I think I'm gonna need some more time here to clear this up." With a sigh, she began trying to figure out how she could fix this.

-End-

A/N 2: Reviews make me smile, so hit the button and tell me how much you like this one. I'm not too sure if it's any good, but I figured I had best introduce all of SG-3 since they tend to be the cause of some of the 'dumber' rules.