Okay, you've all waited long enough to read this, so I won't make you wait any longer. Onward!
Standard Disclaimer: Kingdom Hearts is not mine. Not while I'm awake, at least. I did have a dream where I had a Keyblade once, though...
Chapter 3: Divided Hearts
Darkness surges over me like water, sweeping me up and away from the open door with dizzying speed. At the same time, I can feel it rushing through me, filling a void within I had never known existed. A wild, fierce joy rises in me as power flashes through my veins; every nerve and muscle tingles with it. My wide eyes can see every shade of darkness rippling around me: velvet soft, obsidian bright, dense as a gathering storm and radiant as an eclipse. I hear again the thrumming voice from before, laughing in the back of my mind and my own voice joins it in glorious freedom.
I ride that wave of darkness until it crests, breaking over Destiny Island and hurling me back into myself. I open my eyes slowly, almost reluctant to end the dream. I am still standing in front of the tunnel leading to the secret place, my hand still reaching out.
"Kairi..."
The word might have been another echo off the stone cliff face, it is so faint. A shadow, deeper than the darkness of the cave before me gathers around my outstretched right hand, twining around my wrist. It feels cool and soft, but its grip on my arm is firm as it tugs me forward.
"Let go." The words come out automatically, but to my surprise, the shadow drops to the ground immediately. It wriggles in a circular pattern for a moment, then, for lack of a better term, stands up. The shadow thickens into a round head on a small body and even smaller, claw-like limbs. A pair of glowing yellow spots blink open like eyes and it looks up at me. I stare down at it, speechless. It is unmistakably the same creature that jumped out of the tree the day before.
As I continue to stand there, scraps of shadow detach themselves from beneath rocks and trees, materialize out of the darkness of the cave and slither forward all around me. In less than a minute, I am completely surrounded by a swarm of small black...things. My mind gropes about in vain for a word to name them, but they are like nothing I have ever seen or even imagined before. They are never still even for an instant, constantly twitching and jerking their heads around, scratching at empty air. They crowd densely around me, knocking into each other, but they do not touch me.
I take a tentative step forward. The dozen or so creatures in front of me wriggle backwards, leaving the same amount of space I had before. Not sure whether to be reassured or unsettled by their apparent docility, I take another step forward, ducking into the cave before me. The creatures, eerily silent, part like water before me and flow back together behind me. They follow as I move through the tunnel.
Surrounded by solid rock, it is always cooler inside the cave than out, but tonight it's significantly colder. I can even see my breath misting before me. Wait. See? The realization brings me up short for a moment. This tunnel was gloomy even at high noon. After nightfall, I shouldn't be able to see my hand in front of my face, much less my breath. What the hell was going on? With me, with Kairi, with this whole island...
...what lies beyond the door...
I latch on to that thought. Even now, I can feel something deep and nameless and powerful stirring inside me. I have to know. I have to know what it is, what it wants...and how I can use it. The answer does not lie on this island. It never did.
All around me, the shadow creatures wriggle along the floor and walls, their yellow eyes glowing like fireflies. They do now wait for me now but stream past in numbers I rapidly lose track of. An alarm bell rings in the back of my mind. They seem to move with more determination than before, almost eager. I hurry after them. I have not forgotten that the last place I saw Kairi had been when she entered this cave.
As I squeeze around the last narrow bend in the tunnel I gasp loudly. It's freezing here. I almost expect to see frost on the walls of the cave before me. It cannot quite be called a "room"-the tunnel widens a bit here, the ceiling rises enough that I can stand straight, but not much farther. There is a gap in the ceiling where a rockslide pulled part of the cliff away ages ago. The tunnel itself dead-ends about 10 feet from where I am standing, and at its far end is a carved wooden door.
I still remember the first time Sora and I crawled into this cave years ago. The door had been sealed then, nearly fused with the rock and impossible to open. Sora and I had tried, of course. I didn't remember much, but the moment we touched the polished wood, something had touched us. It had been cold and wild and utterly alien and had terrified us out of our young minds. We ran from the cave and didn't go back in for nearly a week. Afterwards, we spoke occasionally of what might have been on the other side, made up stories, but we never tried to open it again.
Kairi is standing before that door, her back to me.
Her body glows with a pure, silvery light that grows brighter even as I watch. A high-pitched tone rings through the air; not painful, but clear and pure as if the light itself was singing. The door quivers and scrapes against the rock trapping it. Tendrils of darkness push through around it like a beast clawing at its cage. I can feel the rock beneath my feet vibrating.
Looking at Kairi is almost painful now. Light pulses around her like a star as she raises her left arm, her hand reaching out-
A heavy crunch shudders through the wood of the door and darkness erupts around it like wildfire. An ugly growl rumbles through the pure tones emanating from Kairi. My heart lurches in my chest and spots dance wildly before my eyes. I have to put a hand against the wall of the cave to keep from losing my balance. My heart pounds loud in my ears; voices, dry and thin as dead grass, fill my head, whispering frantically. There are no words that I can make out, but a mad hunger rages through them.
I shake my head fiercely and force my gaze upon Kairi, trying to regain my focus. I look up in time to see every shadow creature crowding in that little cave surge toward her. The wild whispering in my mind slams together into a single, unified shout-HEART!!
I stand there frozen for an instant longer. The shadow creatures don't seem to be getting close enough to touch her; some even explode in a cloud of smoky black particles under the assault of the brilliant light surrounding her. But then she cries out and the sound tears through my mind like a saw blade. I have never heard her voice like that before. Kairi has been sad in the past, worried, anxious, even unhappy, but not once afraid. The desperate edge of fear in that voice snaps something inside me, and I push away from the wall.
At that point, time speeds up to a dizzying rate-light and shadow dance together to the wild pounding rhythm of my heart. The low rumble building in the earth crescendos to a thunderous paean, nearly overpowering the high, clear singing. I glimpse Kairi's face for a breathless instant as she turns to look back at me. Her face is framed by blinding light, her eyes are wide, gleaming like pools of sapphire. I can see her lips forming the syllables of my name, but her voice is lost amidst the sound of crashing darkness. From the door behind her, darkness rears up like a striking snake and explodes over the light in a reverse eclipse.
My hand is mere inches from her.
Move. Reach out. Help her.
I cannot.
Standing half-turned, she is looking at me with that same expression of shock and confusion and fear. Light still burns fiercely around her, fighting off the darkness, the same darkness now curling around my hand, crawling up my arm.
My breath comes shorter-each one feels like I'm inhaling ice. My gaze moves slowly downward, tracing the thick tendrils of shadow to where they are buried in my chest. There is no blood-it doesn't even hurt. But my chest is bitingly cold and that chill slowly spreads out through my limbs. I stare down at those shadows for a long moment; they write slowly like snakes, the chill burrows deeper, reaching for my heart. At the same time, I can feel something deep in my heart stir in response, reach out to that shadow. But like my hand and Kairi, they do not quite meet.
So close...so close! The pressure is almost more than I can endure.
"...the other side...don't you want to see what lies beyond?"
Yes! Yes, yes!! I'm nearly begging, feeling as though I'm at the crest of a towering mountain. There is only one thin, steel-strong strand holding me back and if I can just sever that, I can soar free.
I lunge forward, reaching for the door, but a shining white form flashes in front of me. Warm fingers close over my arm and Kairi stares at me with shining eyes. Light still flows around her like water, seeming all the stronger for the deepening shadows.
"Riku, please no..." she whispers; an echo of the song flirts around the edges of her words. "It's too dangerous-the darkness-"
"It's nothing to be afraid of!" I retort.
"But-" Kairi's gaze darkens and she shivers. "This isn't right. Riku...it's so dark, and cold. We'll be swallowed up-"
"Kairi, I said I would always protect you, didn't I?" I tell her, laying my hand gently over hers. "There's no reason to be afraid of the dark. We're not kids anymore. We have to go-I have to go!"
My voice rises harshly on the last few words. She looks up at me suddenly, her eyes wide. Horror flashes through them for an instant and she jerks her hand away.
"What are you talking about?" she asks breathlessly, clutching her hand to her chest.
"I've been trapped on this island my whole life, Kairi. Everything was always bright and warm, blinding me to the truth." My voice sounds different even to my ears. It sounds deeper, more resonant, full of empty caverns and ageless darkness. My gaze shifts past Kairi, back to the door. I feel a slow smile curve my lips. Beyond that door is the last, quivering drop of power, poised to fall into and overflow my already-brimming heart.
"I am the one who will seek the darkness."
I grasp that rope and pull.
The door shatters.
The power waiting beyond the door is not the last, lingering drop that gently spills over. It is the entire ocean. If the power I had awakened before had given me wings, this transforms me into the wind itself. Darkness consumes me, soaking into my bones. The shadows have their own ancient song that pulses through me, soft and strong. I laugh aloud, spreading my arms wide. This is more than I ever could have hoped for, trudging through those endless days under a tropical sky. This is completeness. This is the joy of discovering the true path my life is to take. I had never thought very hard about the meaning of light and dark before, but I understand now that my soul has chosen darkness. All those years spent surrounded by warm, bright skies and carefree innocence had suffocated that darkness, chased it into the deepest corner of my heart. Now it rages through me like wildfire. I can barely keep a hold on my thoughts in the rush, but I realize this power springs from within, it is not mine alone.
Darkness floods my being and the waves spill over, joining a greater river that leads out to a place so vast and wild my mind reels with the thought of it. Images tumble through my vision, images of strange cities and even stranger, animal-like people. Corridors run along the converging shadows of objects floating jewel-bright in void-other worlds. I see a gleaming, blue-white expanse of ocean dotted with countless islands. Our world. Darkness coils close around it, flowing toward a single small point and threading out over the water. That small gap in the invisible barrier is slowly widening and darkness pours in and covers everything like a flood.
Except for one point.
A light burns amidst that sea of shadow, clear and so bright it's painful. I recoil automatically, retreating into soothing darkness. But recognition nudges me when I see that light. I know this presence...
Without knowing quite how, I move closer to that light. It is impossible to look directly at it, and every instinct is screaming at me to get away. But I grasp the darkness and pull it tightly around me like a cloak. It seems to help. The air shivers around me and images settle into place around me in fragments: cool sand, palm trees hanging raggedly as in the aftermath of a storm, waves rolling in from an endless ocean. I am back on Destiny Island.
"Riku!"
The sound of that voice thumps into me like an arrow. The blinding light is gone now, but I can feel the darkness inside flinching and drawing back, trying to hide.
"Where's Kairi? I thought she was with you!" Sora demands. He looks frantic, confused; parts of his clothing are torn. "What's going on?"
"The door has opened."
"What?"
"The door has opened, Sora!" I repeat impatiently. "Now we can go to the outside world!"
"What are you talking about? We've gotta find Kairi!" Sora says angrily, taking a step forward. Darkness flickers around me like flame and I have to fight the instinct to pull back into them. How can he not realize it? That invisible force radiates from his presence like heat from the sun.
"Kairi's coming with us! Once we step through, we may not be able to come back-we may never see our parents or this island again. There's no turning back. But this may be our only chance!" I hold out my hand, shadows curling around it. "We can't let fear stop us. I'm not afraid of the darkness!"
More of the shadow creatures wriggle up from the ground around me and they rush eagerly toward Sora. He yells and kicks at them, that unseen, unearthly brilliance flooding out from him in a wave. I can feel the darkness calling me back, tugging my heart back to the cool, silent depths, and I cannot resist it any longer. Sora was my first friend and part of me cringed in shame at the thought of leaving him behind, but whatever this force is, I cannot endure it any longer.
I sigh with relief as darkness wraps itself around me, blessedly cool and deep. It snuffs out that unnatural light and sweeps me away back to the old stone cave. Darkness flows along the walls like water and countless shadow creatures skitter around me. Kairi is still standing next to me.
"Riku, please," she whispers, staring at me with pained eyes. Light still gleams around her, but it is far weaker than before. Her breathing is strained and one hand is pressed against her chest. "You have to stop..."
"Stop?" I repeat incredulously. Anger bubbles up, and I don't try very hard to keep it out of my voice. "How can you say that? Kairi, we're finally free! We can finally explore other lands, just like we've always wanted. I'm not afraid! This is-"
"This isn't right!" she bursts out and light flares up around her with those words. Her eyes gleam with tears, but her voice is steady. "This isn't what I wanted. Can't you feel it? Everybody…all their lights are going out, one by one…"
She shudders and hugs her arms tightly around herself.
"Kairi..." My anger faded at the sight of her distress. I reach out to her, but she pulls away, shaking her head. She doesn't look at me.
Why doesn't she understand? I think a little helplessly. What is she talking about? Lights going out...what's wrong with her?
"Don't worry-Sora's coming with us too," I say, casting about for something that might calm her down, ignoring the fact that I myself did not know exactly what had happened to him.
She shakes her head, harder than before. "No...I can't find him either...it's too dark..."
"I'll find him," I tell her firmly. "Aren't you always saying how the three of us will always be friends, no matter what? That we'll always be together? Don't worry...I'll find him. I promise."
I hold out my hand again, waiting for her. She stares at me for a moment, her gaze searching, full of fear and desperate hope.
"We'll...always be together...right?" The hand pressed against her chest relaxes slightly, and she bites her lip, blinking rapidly. That hand, trembling all the while, reaches out slowly across the small space between us.
Her skin is softer than anything I've felt before, softer than even the formless shadows. I close my eyes, savoring that moment.
"Let's go."
Darkness shimmers up around both of us. Kairi flinches but says nothing and continues looking at me. Pure, untainted joy blossoms in me-finally, finally I am traveling beyond Destiny Island! I'm free!!
The stone cave melts away and is replaced by a smooth, narrow road of solid blackness, running out endlessly before me. It splits off in countless different directions, each one leading to countless different worlds that seem to gleam invitingly. I start take a step forward, but Kairi's hand grips mine tightly, holding me back.
"Kairi, we can't hesitate any-" I glance back at her, and the words lodge in my throat. She isn't even looking at me. She is staring back over her shoulder, eyes wide.
"Sora..." she murmurs. Her other hand raises, reaching out for somebody I cannot see.
"Kairi-"
"Sora!"
I can see her body quiver from the force of that scream, but her voice sounds hollow and distant to my ears. Frigid darkness crashes over me from behind and I gasp. My back burns with cold and that chill burrows deeper, stabbing like an icicle. This darkness is different from the wild, fierce fire that sprang to life when I had released it from deep within my heart. This darkness has its own presence, its own identity, one that is single-minded, ruthless as a predator, and older than words can describe.
Kairi's hand slides through my grip even as I brace myself against that giant wave. My other hand snaps out and wraps around her wrist, but I might as well be fighting a flood. I hold on for a bare heartbeat before her fingers slip through mine.
"Kairi!!"
I can barely see through my hair whipping around my face and the darkness flashing around me, but I catch a glimpse of the cave beyond and Sora standing before the door. His mouth moves, but I can hear nothing. His arms are spread out wide as if he is about to catch something. A ghostly light gleams through the rushing darkness--it almost has a form, like a person, but I can't see it clearly. That light dances along the leading edge of the darkness like a feather in a storm.
The force of this hurricane of darkness throws Sora and that ethereal light backwards, out of the cave and beyond my sight. At the same time, I can feel myself being pulled in the opposite direction, away from Destiny Island.
"No! Kairi! Sora!" I shout, reaching uselessly for the door, the path back to my home. Tendrils of shadow grasp at my arms and legs, dragging me back. This isn't right, I think, echoing Kairi's words. They're supposed to come with me-why can't they? What's going on? Dammit all, what's going ON?!
"Oi, gaki. You're in the way."
A deep, grating voice rumbles down from the sky like thunder; I can feel it vibrating through my chest. Wondering how things could possibly get any worse, I look up over my shoulder. And up. And up. The further up I look, the more my stomach falls until by this time it must be somewhere on the other side of the planet. Towering behind me is what could only be called a titan. Its body is pitch black except for the eyes, which glow the same eerie yellow as the smaller shadow creatures. In the center of its massive chest is a heart-shaped hole. My mouth drops open. Thoughts whirl through my head like wind-tossed leaves, impossible to grasp.
The titan speaks again.
"Oh-you're him, aren't you? Well, get going. The master's waited long enough for you."
Before I have time to respond—assuming I could have strung together a sentence to begin with—the ground beneath my feet disappears. My heart leaps into my throat for an instant, choking off my cry, and then the shadows grab me. Everything spins sickeningly all around me for a moment before I squeeze my eyes shut. This is worse than the last time—then, I had at least felt like I was being guided toward a goal. Now, there is nothing but empty, uncaring darkness around me, darkness that would swallow me whole, just as Kairi had said.
I curl inward, forcing myself to hold on to my own identity, my own heart. For a moment I think I hear that voice from before, that soft, warm, velvety voice, but its words are drowned out by the howling void around me. I can feel the tendrils of shadow grasping at me as before and I am helpless to fight against where they pull me.
Kairi...Sora... Even my own thoughts sound far away and meaningless. My last glimpses of them tumble through my mind, ephemeral memories now. Sora: his eyes wide and afraid as darkness sweeps him away. Kairi: the warmth of her hand, and then the terrible, cold, emptiness when it was torn away from mine.
I'll find you, somehow...I promise... It is the only thought that can solidify in my mind right now and I cling to it like a drowning man clings to a scrap of wood.
I promise...I promise...
Note: Gaki means "brat" in Japanese. I though it had more punch than "brat", so I used it instead.
Hah! There! Finally! After endless re-writes, revisions, and a nasty spat of writer's block, Chapter 3 is finally finished! Hehehe-I thought Chapter 3 was easy to write…and then I read over a Kingdom Hearts script again and realized that some things wouldn't fit…. I know things may seem confusing, but I promise you I do know what I'm doing, so please be patient.
Endless and abject apologies for the exceedingly late update. Oh, and I know I said "evil characters" last time, but…that got changed…Next chapter, cross my heart! I've been busy left, right, and center over here and the month of October just vanished before I realized what had happened. Anyway, I sincerely hope you enjoyed reading this. If you did let me know! And I welcome any and all criticism, particularly in regards to my writing style in general. This chapter is dedicated to each and every one of you who reads as far as the end of this sentence. Arigatou ne!