Battle for the Hindu Kush Chapter 8: Decisions, an alexander fanfic

Title: "Battle for the Hindu Kush"

Author: Baliansword

Rating: T for Teen

Chapter: 8 of 9, "Decisions"

Pairings: Alexander / Hephaestion

Summary: Following the movie, what happens during and after the infamous battle for the Hindu Kush, with extra history hopefully thrown in. It shall present four different views, or angles, of this battle. It will end with Alexander's decision to return home.

Warnings: Mild language, sexual content, and violent battle scenes.

A/N: Thank you so much to everyone that has reviewed. I appreciate all of your comments, etc. I know I am terrible about replying to them, but please know, you are all great influences on my work.

Dedication: HavenRain, who is a fan.

H/N: This takes place during the battle for the Hindu Kush. If you are following the movie, it is the battle with the elephants. I have in my own way made sense of some of the scene, because the way it is shot does make it hard at times.

Alexander's tent…

The king sat silently, staring out at the rain that beat against the sides of his tent. He could see through a crack in the flap the rain outside as it pelted the ground. He was used to such from being here, but now, it seemed the only thing to look at. He continued to watch the rain for a moment but then glanced over his shoulder at Hephaestion. Hephaestion was still recovering from his wounds, as were they both, but even recovery did not stop them from worrying for one another. Alexander had physicians tending to him it seemed every few hours, and he made sure that Hephaestion had twice this. Currently, Hephaestion was lying asleep on his pallet, which Alexander had instructed his pages bring here for him. He did not want him out of his sight.

He himself felt better, and the physicians agreed that he was healing well. He still had to move around with a crutch, but, he would rather it that then nothing at all. Whereas he was aloud to move about, for short periods of time at least, Hephaestion could not move at all it seemed. Philip ordered that he do no more moving than needed. Hence, he merely moved from his bed to a chair at the most, and he barely moved to chairs. It hurt too much to sit up, so, for the most part he laid sleeping or merely laying and watching Alexander. Still, he was himself, even if his spirit was not yet the same. He still was going over papers, looking and finding things that Alexander had not seen. Nothing could stop him from being a great general, and a great advisor. Alexander smiled as he thought of it, of the strength that Hephaestion had, even if Hephaestion was unaware of it.

Hephaestion had been outside of the tent a few times though, but not many. He would ask for pages to carry out some blankets, and would then carefully make his way out. Once again he would lie down, but thankfully in the light of the sun, and would reflect. Alexander knew he was reflecting, but only because he would see that Hephaestion stared out at nothing really. This could only mean he was silently contemplating things in his mind. What these things were he did not know, for Hephaestion would not say. It slightly worried Alexander, not knowing at a time like this what Hephaestion thought, but he knew that Hephaestion would come to him if he needed him. Now, he simply slept.

"Alexander," a voice said from outside, speaking loudly enough to be heard over the rain, but not loudly enough to disturb Hephaestion. Alexander turned his attention to Cassander, who he waved in with a hand. For the last few days Cassander had shown a character that Alexander could never recall seeing in him. He seemed to earnestly care about Hephaestion's wellbeing. Why this was, he did not know, but it did not matter to him. At least Cassander was not being his usual self. This was good not only for the moral of others, but also because Alexander was on a short fuse with Hephaestion injured, and at any moment he might execute the man that angered him.

"He is sleeping," Alexander answered when Cassander glanced at Hephaestion. Cassander nodded and then sat down at the chair Alexander motioned to. The king himself then sat down, setting his crutch down. He again thought of Hephaestion. Yes, it hurt him slightly to sit, but it hurt Hephaestion so bad that he for the most part refused to do so. It brought tears to his eyes sometimes to see Hephaestion try, for Hephaestion's eyes would water in pain, and in his true character Hephaestion would act like he did not notice. Cassander gave Alexander a knowing nod, as if he knew of what he thought, and then sat back. Alexander reached for a cup and drank its contents, a soothing tea, and then turned his full attention to Cassander.

"How long has he been sleeping," asked Cassander.

"Not long. He said he was feeling better and that it did not hurt as much as it had yesterday. Still, you know how he is."

"Yes, he lies like a snake if he thinks it will benefit you," Cassander answered, his honesty always brutal. Being compared to a snake was never wanted. However, in this case, it was for the most part true. "Philip said he was getting better though, so perhaps in this case, it does hurt less today."

"He wished to go outside before it began raining," Alexander said blankly, as if he was no longer listening to Cassander, but instead just musing aloud. "For a moment I considered it. Yet, I don't wish for him to be outside. He is still weak. He is still ill. Philip worries about air born sicknesses. Already he is weak, and he is just not beginning to have some color to his cheeks. The slightest sickness could be his death now it seems."

"True," Cassander answered as he reached for a cup. He picked it up and glanced at it. It had been water that Hephaestion had requested but then had not even looked at. Instead, he had fallen asleep. Cassander sipped it, not worried about anything. The only thing he worried about catching from Hephaestion was purity, and he had been assured he could not catch such a characteristic. "But keeping him locked away from the world is another sickness in its own."

"I can't lose him."

"No, I know, I know. I am sure that he thinks of you no less for your protection. Usually it is the other way around though. I'm sure it takes him aback at times."

"Yes," Alexander nodded, glancing once more at Hephaestion, who still slept soundly. He then again turned to Cassander, who was drinking still, and remembered that he had not invited him. "Was there something that you needed?"

"No, nothing really," Cassander admitted. He then glanced at the cup, as if he was suddenly curious about it. Really, he was not. He was merely thinking of a reason to be in Alexander's tent. He did not have one yet though. Finally, he glanced up, and tried honesty, or a form of it. "I thought that perhaps you were lonely. Or, in actuality, I was lonely."

"You were lonely," Alexander asked with a laugh.

"For the first time. I'm not sure; perhaps it is a dreary weather. Hmm…no, Ptolemy went hunting with the rest of the companions earlier in the day. I'm sure by now they are hunkered down somewhere, waiting for the rain to stop. At the time I did not feel like going with them. I don't know…maybe I am not lonely at all."

"There is nothing wrong with needing companionship," Alexander assured him. "We all need someone to lean on. I told you, you should have married in Babylon."

"I thought I did," Cassander joked. He traced the brim of his cup with a finger. When he looked at his hands he still was looking for blood. It seemed as if there was nothing more to life. Blood covered everything he saw now. He had to blink to get rid of it and even then he was not sure. No, he had not married. He had refused in fact. Even Hephaestion had married in Babylon, but no, Cassander had strictly refused.

"No," he went on. "What would I do with a wife Alexander? We both know that you are not satisfied with yours."

"Take a lover. Take a page, anything, do as you will. But find someone if you are not happy. I would hate to drag you along all these years only to return, and have you hating every memory of it."

"Perhaps I already hate it."

"You hate everything," Alexander quipped. "Fine; we are friends. You can find comfort in me for awhile, though I am not sure how much comfort I can be at the moment."

"More than you think really."

There was not much more said. Both men looked over as Hephaestion drew in a loud breath. He had shifted in his sleep, and in doing so had found a way to draw pain to his thigh. He let out a soft hiss as he began to wake. Cassander said nothing to Alexander but instead rose and left the tent, knowing that Alexander would soon be tending to Hephaestion's needs. There was nothing he needed there anyway. He had found the comfort that he needed, even if it were so brief. Still, he was finding it odd that he could be lonely.

Alexander watched Cassander go and then went to Hephaestion's side. He carefully knelt before Hephaestion and smiled down at him as he woke. Hephaestion smiled for a moment, even though his eyes gave away his pain. Alexander then placed a firm kiss to his forehead. Hephaestion was still for a moment before he pushed himself up slowly. Alexander helped him, but for the most part let Hephaestion think he was still independent. Hephaestion had always been independent and would never wish to be anything but such, and Alexander could not be the one to take such from him, even if it were with good intentions.

"It stopped raining," Hephaestion pointed out. Alexander glanced over his shoulder and then nodded. So it had. Hephaestion blinked a few times when Alexander looked upon him again. He had reached down and placed a hand on his thigh, which still hurt. Alexander began to reach for a vile that Philip had filled with pain reducing liquid. Before he could grasp it Hephaestion was stopping him.

"No," he was assured. "It does not hurt that much. It was just a slight tingle, nothing more. It is gone now."

"There is no need to lie to me," Alexander said as he placed a warm palm against Hephaestion's cheek. He stared into his eyes, which he had always found such reassurance in. Now he could only hope that in his eyes Hephaestion could find the same such reassurance that he had always given. "You are no more immune to pain that the rest of the world. If it hurts, drink this, please. I cannot stand to see you hurting so insuppressibly."

"I…," Hephaestion began but then stopped. A single tear fell, rolling down his cheek, and Alexander wiped it away. With Alexander looking at him Hephaestion could hold it in no longer. He threw his arms around Alexander and held him tightly as his soul poured from him, rivaling even the earlier rain.

"What is it," asked Alexander.

"I failed you," Hephaestion said through his tears. He then pulled away, as if he no longer was good enough to touch a king. His tears also threw him off. He had not wanted to cry. He had never wanted to speak the words he was about to say. "Look at me Alexander. I cannot even move anymore. I've failed you."

"No," Alexander said with a soft smile. This was just like Hephaestion, to think that he had to be something more than what he was to impress him. It was not true. It never had been and never could be. "I want only you Hephaestion, no matter what. You have not failed me. I don't deserve you if you think that I have failed you."

"You used to think I was beautiful," he said, still crying softly. Alexander reached out, placing a hand upon his cheek, forcing him to look at him and not away. He needed Hephaestion to know this. He wanted him to know that no matter what, he always wanted him, and would always love him.

"You will always be beautiful to me Hephaestion."

"I can't walk," he stated once more.

"You will," he swore. He then leaned over and kissed him, wrapping a hand behind his neck and pulling him slightly to him. "You will be fine. Nothing can keep you weak, Hephaestion. Nothing."

Alexander wrapped his arms around him and held him for some time. After a few minutes Hephaestion reached up and brushed some of Alexander's hair away from his face. He then smiled, and glanced down at his hands. Then, he looked back up at Alexander.

"It stopped raining," he told him again. Alexander nodded, knowing what he wanted. He wanted to go outside. For a moment he wondered whether or not he should let him go. Alexander drew in a breath, then nodded, but not definitively as if he was giving an answer. "Alexander, please. I know you worry, but I need fresh air. I'll stay for only a few moments."

"Right," Alexander said with a nod. "I'll get the guards to help you up."

"No," Hephaestion said. "I need to get dressed first. I'm not going out in only these pants. Just…take a few steps back. I can get up, really, I can."

"Hephaestion," Alexander said with a sigh, but Hephaestion was already pushing himself up. He managed to stand, even though his features suddenly were laced with pain. He managed to pick up a blue robe that matched his thin pants. Hephaestion wrapped this over his shoulders, again in pain, and almost stumbling. He managed not to fall though and instead just hissed lightly. Upon being dressed, he reached out for a post, and steadied himself for a moment. Alexander was at his side, almost as injured, but still feeling he could protect him. Protection, yes, he should have protected him. Alexander knew that Hephaestion had not failed him, for really, he had failed Hephaestion. Blinded by love Hephaestion had agreed to be a general. Alexander never should have let him step on a field.

"Are you alright?"

"Yes," Hephaestion said. "Now, let me see how far I can get."

Alexander had sat beside Hephaestion for a few moments, but Hephaestion was thinking of other things. It was clearly written upon his face and could be seen in his eyes. Alexander thought nothing of it and had returned to his tent. This was an hour ago. Now, he had made his mind up about something. He recalled words that Hephaestion had spoken to him long ago…

"What is it," Hephaestion had said when men had begun calling him Alexander the Great, "that makes great men so great? Is it their character? Of course it is, but what is debatable is whether or not the gods tell us what we will be. Do I think that Athena gave you some great wisdom or that Zeus told you in the womb that you were to be gifted as great? No. No, I don't think so. You are a great man, Alexander, because you chose to be. You do what you believe in, yet balance such with what it right, and with what your men think. You are great because you chose to be, not because it is ordered. Let them call you great. It is only slanderous if it is not true."

Hephaestion pushed himself up on an elbow as he exited his tent. He glanced over at him, and Hephaestion knew something had changed. Something had happened. His cerulean eyes questioned this, but Alexander turned to the men, which had been told to gather.

"We're going home," he announced. His voice cracked, however, and he had to repeat himself so that all could hear. He reminded himself this was not defeat. This was him doing what was right. This was him being great. "We're going home."

There were cheers and shouts louder than battle cries. Alexander glanced at Hephaestion, who had sunk back down. Hephaestion seemed confused, as if he needed an explanation. Never had such a grand decision not been discussed with him first. However, there was not time to explain. Alexander was already being lifted through the crowd and was lifted onto a horse. What made a man great? Still, he did not know.

A/N: Thank you all for waiting for this. Here it is! Hope you enjoyed. Let me know what you think. We only have one chapter to go!!!