Harm sat up and ran a hand through his hair. "You backed away and went to a man you didn't love because you were afraid of hurting me?"

"You're precious to me Harm. And my head has never been screwed on straight when it comes to men. You even said so yourself."

"I'm not completely blameless either Mac. That was unfair of me to say."

"You were right."

"No I wasn't. You don't give yourself enough credit. Sure you've made past mistakes, but we all have. The main thing is that we learn from them and move on."

"Look at me Harm, I haven't learned a damned thing. I do the same thing all over again, every time."

"Because you're always with the wrong man. What if you were with me? Would that break the pattern?"

"I don't know. I'm not willing to find out right now. No matter how much I love you, I have to get things straightened out in my own mind before I can even come close to having a healthy relationship. And if I ever come to you, I want to come to you whole and strong."

"That's twice you've said it now."

"Said what?"

"That you love me."

She raised her eyebrows, surprised at her own candor. "I guess I did, didn't I."

Harm gave her a gentle smile. "Mac, you seem to think that you loving me makes me weak, but I disagree. The only time since I've known you that I have ever felt weak is when we were separated. When we were at our best, when we were happy just to be in each other's company, I always felt strong." He paused and gave her a smirk. "So you can tell me you don't want to hurt me all you want, the truth is, the only way you can hurt me is to back away."

Mac leaned forward and put her hand on his arm. "Thank you, that means a lot to me. I'm just so afraid. You're such a good man. When you were away from JAG something in you changed. I could see it when I came to talk to you about Caroline's trial. You looked so bitter, and…lost. I couldn't help but think that I was the one responsible for that. You've gotten back to being you again, and I don't want to ruin it."

Harm slid his arm up and took her hand. "Then let me in. The quickest way to ruin me is to shut me out." He gave her hand a squeeze and then released it. "I know you have a lot to work through, but you don't have to do it alone. Am correct in assuming that Webb isn't available to help you with this?"

"He has his own issues to deal with, he can't be bothered with mine."

"Then I want you to promise me something."

"What's that?"

"I want you to let me help you, no matter what you go through, I want to be there." He gave her a look of complete confidence. "I know you're scared. I know you're trying to protect me, but I'm strong, I'm not going to break, and I'm not going to let you hurt me. Push me away all you want, it's not going to work this time."

Mac shifted in her seat. "I don't know if I can do that Harm."

"Why not?"

She moved from the couch and paced away from him. "Because my life is my own. I'm the one who has to work through it, not you. It's just too much…"

Harm came up behind her, and gently turned her to face him. "Are you trying to protect your privacy, or are you trying to protect me?"

"Both."

"Well don't. I can protect myself. Look, I know you can do this on your own, but you just shouldn't have to. You're right Mac, your life is your own. I won't meddle, if you won't bottle it up."

Mac pursed her lips and looked away, torn.

Harm curved his finger under her chin and made her look him in the eye. "I'm only asking that you trust me."

Mac sighed. "How can I do that Harm, when I can't even trust myself?"

"Let me worry about that. I'm not asking you to trust yourself, I'm asking you to trust me."

"Harm I…" She hesitated, indecision marring her features. He looked so sincere, and suddenly she knew she'd rather risk trusting him, than hurt him again by backing away. "Okay." She agreed softly.

Harm smiled warmly. "Thank you."

TBC...