The week after the Volleyball game was hectic and stressful. Harm and Mac had barely had time to speak, and when they did it was cut short by the weight of the workload. Every so often, when there was a brief lull in the rat race, Mac could feel Harm watching her. She would raise her head in time to see him give her a smile of warm encouragement. Inevitably before she could respond, his attention would be drawn elsewhere. She'd sigh and go back to work, feeling a little bit calmer, a little bit warmer each time he threw her a smile. And yet, after the warmth and calm subsided she'd always, without fail, fall into a state of unease. A sea of endless questions, second guesses, and extreme guilt would plague her throughout the day.

What was she doing to him? Sucking the life out of him, like she had done with every other man before. That's what she was doing to him. She should be able to do this on her own, regardless of his insistence that she shouldn't have to. She shouldn't have to need him. She didn't have the right to need him. In the end, when her open wounds became distant scars, the person who would be the most hurt would be him. Sarah Mackenzie wreaked havoc on every man she ever had. And now she was about to do it to Harm. Damn his sense of honor, damn his friendship, damn his obvious love for her. Regardless of his strength, there was a place in his heart that was fragile, vulnerable. She'd seen herself almost destroy it once before. She had the power to do it again, and that scared the living hell out of her. No wonder she was afraid to even sit next to him for any length of time.

She wanted to back away. To tell him to run for the hills and never look back, but she couldn't. Even as she hung her head in shame for her selfishness, she couldn't deny her need for him, or the reality that backing away from him would hurt him even worse. He wanted to be there, as much as she wanted him to be there. She couldn't deny her heart. That heart would have to trust him.

His smile, like the eye of the storm, would haunt her until the next morning, when she would miraculously forget her state of unease, and crave another dose of Harmon Rabb Jr.

Some mornings they would stand and talk in the break room like neither of them had ever heard the name Sadik Fahd, and other mornings she would come to his office before she'd even had her coffee. Needing to see him, needing his strength. She'd throw her arms around him and cling to him for dear life. He'd hold her until she pulled away, ask simply if she was okay, and then tell her he was there if she'd like to talk. She'd say 'thank you' and then get to work. Like clockwork a few hours later, after the euphoria of being in his arms would wear off, the wave of guilt would come, and she would avoid seeing him. And the cycle would go on, rinse, repeat.

She wondered how difficult it was for him to sit quietly and wait for her to come to him. She also wondered if he privately took his frustrations out in other ways, but halted that train of thought as soon as it started when visions of every blonde she'd ever seen look Harm's way, began to careen through her head. It was safe to say that the whole week had been one big whirlwind of confusion. By Friday Mac was frazzled.

"Care for something to drink?" Mac looked up to see Harm standing in the doorway of her office. He walked in and kicked the door closed, setting two mugs in front of her. One full of coffee, the other full of hot chocolate. "Wasn't sure which one you would need today."

"I'm not sure either," She replied. After contemplating for a few moments, she picked up the mug of hot chocolate.

"Don't you have an appointment in an hour?"

Mac nodded. "Yeah, I guess I do."

"You are going to your appointment, aren't you?" He asked in concern.

Mac nodded again, this time wearily. "Yeah, I have to. I missed the one on Wednesday."

"Mac…"

"I was busy Harm, we all were."

"I know we were, but nothing is more important than getting you healthy."

"Harm, millions of things are more important…"

"Not to me," He said in a firm voice. "I've been patient with you, even when I didn't have any idea what was going on in your head, because I promised to give you whatever you needed from me. But I won't be patient with you missing your appointments."

Mac's eyes flashed. "Who are you to tell me what to do?"

"The man who loves you," He told her plainly. "And I'm not about to let you flounder. I don't know how to help you with this, but I'm going to make sure that you go to someone who does."

Mac was silent for a long moment. He'd told her he loved her, plain as day, without even flinching. "Okay, I can live with that," She replied. "But I reserve the right to do the same with you when and where I see fit."

He agreed, knowing her need for equal power. "Of course. I'm going to go now, before you aren't able to look me in the eye anymore."

Mac sighed, he had noticed. "Harm, I don't mean to…"

"I know Mac. I just wish I knew why I have that effect on you."

"So do I."

He paused in the doorway. "Has it ever been like this before?"

"No."

He pursed his lips, and gave her a nod, before he closed the door behind him and made his way back to his office.

She buried her head in her hands.

TBC...