Olivia's thoughts as she walks away from her apartment
How could they think that I'd want to be in a threesome with the two of them? I can barely last physically with them individually—but to have the two of them double-teaming me. But it wasn't about the sex. I've spent plenty of time playing the field—I just want to settle down. I had wanted that with Abbie until she took off and went to DC. I was totally lost when she left—a ship without a harbor—until I gave in to Alex. My sweet, beautiful, intimidating Alex.
And now—everything is just fucked. Maybe it's my fault. First I walk away from Alex at the precinct. Then I get drunk and let Abbie fuck me. And I lashed out at Alex when she showed up. And I did make the smartass comment about seeing the two of them together. What the hell was I thinking? Well, I definitely know what you were thinking with, Benson.
How am I going to fix this? Do I even want to fix this? I mean, now Alex knows about my history with Abbie—not that it was ever intended to be a secret. It was just something I conveniently never got around to telling her about. The last thing I wanted was her thinking I made it my mission to sleep with the ADAs assigned to our unit. I only have myself to blame for that—I should have told her before I pulled that stupid ass stunt to fulfill her fantasy.
But then, for Abbie to confess that she went to the bar and took Alex back to her hotel room. How am I supposed to be with Alex now? And Alex seeing me laying there with Abbie between my legs. Would she even want to be with me now? That's just…grrrrrr. I can't even wrap my mind around this.
Meanwhile, back at Liv's apartment….
Two very stunned, very hot lawyers sat on Liv's bed trying to come to terms with what had just happened.
"Why did you bother showing up here tonight?" Abbie was the first to break the silence. "Haven't you done enough damage to Liv without trying to mindfuck her? You pressed her into doing something that she obviously had very strong feelings about. For Christsake's Alex, she's only here because her mother was raped and you have this whole fantasy thing you want her to fulfill. Do you have any idea what she had to go through to do that for you? 'Cause it was all for you, Alex. That wasn't about her. She arrests people who do that and you prosecute them who do the very thing you asked her to do. And you turn around and basically ignore her afterwards. And you must have a set on you to proposition her at work after pulling that shit. And then you come here—uninvited—and start shit again. Not to mention the fact—"
"Just shut up. SHUT UP! SHUT UP! I'm sick of hearing you talk. You want to sit there and sling accusations at me. How about you? Things get too intense for you with Liv and what do you do? You leave town like a coward. You have no idea what you did to her. I do. I was here. I picked up the pieces. It took forever for her to open up. We were finally starting to get somewhere and you show up again. None of this would have happened if you had kept your ass in DC and away from Liv. And you just had to tell her about the other night—the bar—your hotel. She didn't need to know that," Alex retorted emotionally.
"Well, what I didn't tell her about the other night was how insistent you were on accompanying me back to my hotel. YOU initiated everything, Alex. Now, I'll admit, I didn't stop you. And we both know we had a good time. But, if you love Liv the way you profess to love her, would you have done any of that? Would you have made her do something she didn't want? Would you have treated her so badly afterwards? Would you have slept with her ex? I don't get what makes you tick. Is there a little too much blue blood in your family?"
Abbie realized she had gone too far in her comments when the blonde got up from the bed and walked around to face her. With ice in her veins and normally blue eyes black with venom, the prosecutor in Alex took over. "Abbie, I don't really care what you think of me. When I slept with you, I was merely using you. I wanted to find out what it was about you that Liv had been so attracted to—what it was about you that left a hole in her that I tried desperately for months to fill. Frankly, I don't get it. What I do get is that I have hurt one person I love more than anything else in this world and I have no idea how to make it right."
With that, Alex grabbed what clothing she had removed and walked into Liv's bathroom to dress. When she came out, she found herself alone in Liv's apartment. Defeated, Abbie had obviously left. For the first time ever, Alex found herself wandering around Liv's apartment. The few times she had been here, Liv had done her best to usher her out quickly. Without Liv there to watch over her shoulder and push her out the door, Alex was able to take her time and look around. She had always believed that a person's home gave a clear picture of who that person was. Because Liv had always done her best to push her out of the door as soon as she entered, she had never been able to gauge what Liv's apartment "said" about her as a person.
Everything was neat and tidy. Everything obviously had a place. Alex knew that the Liv was organized, but this definitely reflected that. The decorations were sparse—a minimalist approach. Alex smiled and thought to herself that Liv probably just didn't want to have to dust a lot of stuff. There were equally as few pictures around the apartment. In fact, Alex discovered only a few in the living room. One of Liv with an older woman—Alex assumed it was her mother. There was one of Liv with Elliot and his family at a family barbecue. Alex's heart sank when she spotted the last photo. It was of Liv and Abbie. They were both smiling and Liv had her chin resting on Abbie's shoulder. They were both turned slightly towards each other. It was obvious to anyone who was looking at the picture that they were in love.
Alex picked up the frame and studied the picture further. She didn't recognize where the picture had been taken. It was then that something caught her eye—the necklace that Liv was wearing. She had given that necklace to Liv a month after they had started dating. Alex suddenly made the connection. Liv had seen Abbie since they had been together. Maybe she had been wrong about everything.