I actually got this one out pretty fast, thanks guys for all your reviews. I just want to say that I do not know the actual treatment for a patient with HCM. These details are for the story purpose only, and I do not know medical terms. Please excuse this lack of knowledge. Anyway, as always I do not own One Tree Hill or its characters.

And on with the story….. (oh and flashbacks are in italics)

Chapter 12- Waste It All on You

She makes her way up to the front door
Completely numb when she hears my voice
Her burdened eyes show signs of light now
To me there's nothing there but cold

When everything is changed
Can it be the same

Lucas sat in his bedroom fighting off all the bad memories that just seemed to surround him. He had gotten out of the hospital the day prior, but had made no attempt to leave his room since then. He had too much to think about, and really didn't want to face the outside world right now.

He was consumed by his visit with the doctor before he was discharged, and how the information he received was going to affect the rest of his life.

"Mr. Scott, Miss Roe, please have a seat," Instructed Lucas's physician Dr. Williams.

The pair did as they were told, Lucas dying to know how bad his condition really was. He nervously tapped his foot on the ground while waiting for the doctor to tell him his prognosis.

"Mr. Scott, it seems that you have out quite a lot of stress on your heart. The level of physical activity that you were performing at caused the medicine to quit working, thus triggering your attack."

Lucas just glanced guiltily at the ground, but was comforted by his mother's reassuring squeeze of his hand.

"It seems you have caused extensive damage to your heart. Too much for a person of your age. I'm sorry to say this, but it will take surgery to repair some of the damage. Your heart will never be back to the way it was before the effects of the disease, but you will be able to lead a normal life."

"And without the surgery, what will happen?" Lucas asked, desperately trying to stop the lump that was forming in his throat.

"Without the surgery, your condition will progressively get worse with time, and hinder you from completing even basic everyday tasks."

"And with the surgery, what will happen after it?" Karen asked this time and Lucas just looked gratefully at her, he wasn't sure if he could find his voice at all right now.

"With the surgery, the condition will not worsen. You will be able to lead a normal life, but you still will not physically be able to competitively play sports at the level you were prior to this attack. Everything else should be fine, and you should be able to perform most physical activities as long as you do not place too much stress on your heart. In addition to the surgery, you will have to continue on the prescription indefinitely."

Lucas just closed his eyes and leaned back against the chair. His life was about to completely change, and he didn't like it one bit.

"Doctor, when do you suggest we perform this surgery?"

"Well Miss Roe, I would like to do it in 3 weeks. Until then Lucas, please take it easy. No strenuous physical activity, and take your medication regularly."

And just like that his fate was sealed. The doctor quickly thanked them both for their time, and after scheduling the surgery with the nurse, Lucas was sent home.

That conversation kept playing over and over in his mind, and he couldn't help but feel sorry for himself. Leave it to Dan to never give him anything but a heart condition. That was just the topping on this whole experience. Lucas still couldn't believe that he was going to have to have surgery to correct this, and that he was going to have to change his whole life because of his genetics. He shouldn't have pushed himself so hard. He shouldn't have tried to outperform his medication. He should have told someone what was going on. There were a lot of shoulda, coulda wouldas floating in his mind, and he just wanted it all to stop.

He just hated the fact that he had a broken heart, both literally and figuratively.

And somehow that's how his thoughts lead back to Brooke Davis. While he was responsible for his literal heart break, she was more than responsible for his figurative ailment.

He knew that he was being stubborn, but knowing that she had chosen to remain in California on her own free will, was just something that he could not overlook. He just couldn't let her back in after that revelation. He just couldn't give her the power to walk out when things got tough again. He just couldn't trust her not to run away, and take his heart with her once again. His heart was already a little bit broken, and he was afraid that if she got tired of him, then she would have the ability to shatter it into a million pieces. So, he had to get out now, before he fell even harder.

What amazed him most was that she believed that everything was going to be fine and dandy, and that she could just walk back in because of some change of heart. Well he didn't operate like that, and he wasn't going to give in this time. He had loved her, hell those feelings don't just go away, but he couldn't trust her.

A conversation he had with Nathan the other day, just reaffirmed what he was feeling.

The brothers were sitting in Luke's room, pretending to pay attention to the TV, when Lucas decided that he had to tell someone what was going on.

"Nate, I have a question…What's really keeping you from taking Haley back? I know you still love her but why can't you let her back in." Lucas asked curious to see what his brother's reaction was going to be to the question at hand.

"Man, don't try and push us back together, I'm just not ready."

"That's not what I'm trying to do Nate," Lucas sighed not wanting to actually admit that Brooke had shattered his heart as well. "I found out that Brooke chose to stay in California, and that she chose to just ignore everything we had. And it sucks."Lucas answered barely in a whisper.

"Oh man, that sucks. So you were asking my opinion because I got royally screwed as well?" Nathan smirked, trying to make light of the situation and continued as his brother nodded affirmatively.

"Truth is Luke; I just can't go back to that place. She literally ripped my heart out of my chest and left it on the ground. It's not easy to start over with the one who destroyed your whole world."

"Does it make you love her or want her any less?"

"Man I wish it did. Truth is I'll always love her, and being away from her is killing me, but I have to make sure that she's going to fight this time. I know it sounds selfish and vindictive, but I want her to feel a little of the pain she caused me, just so she knows how much it hurts. Then maybe she won't ever try and inflict that pain on us again."

"Do you ever think you're going to get back to where you were?"

"Honestly Luke, no. We may end up someplace completely different, but we will never be who we were before. And I'm not sure that I want to, like I said, she ripped apart my world, and part of me is scared shitless to give her that chance again."

The last part of that conversation kept replaying in his brain. He was just going to ignore the way he felt, because feeling nothing was much easier than facing the pain. So for now, he would just go on, without Brooke Davis, and hope that he could just forget everything they had been through. Besides he had fought so hard to get to where they had been before she left that maybe it was her turn to be the one who fell from grace. He had always been the screw-up in there relationship, that maybe she could see what it was like from the other side of the fence.

I pace across the bedroom floor
Numbness comes with a rage of fire
I blanky look up at a heart of stone
These two months nothing but a lie

How can it be the same
when you know everything is changed

Brooke was nervous. She was finally going to quit avoiding the situation and tell Lucas to his face that she loved him. She knew she had been stupid to run away him because of that tramp Rachel, and she wasn't going to do it anymore. She was going to claim what was hers, and no one was going to stand in her way this time.

She walked up to his bedroom, and smiled as she saw the door was still painted red, reminding her of everything he had done for her, and everything he meant to her. She was filled with butterflies as she knocked, and hoped that he was happy to see her.

"Come in" she heard from beyond the door. One last deep breath and she was finally ready to put it all out on the line.

She entered the dark room, and was surprised to see Lucas glaring at her. She hadn't gotten much chance to talk to him after Haley had visited the other day, and she was worried because he had said he wasn't feeling well every time she had stopped by.

Lucas knew that he should have just ignored the knocking when he saw the person at the door. He was still too pissed and hurt about everything in his life to have this particular conversation right now, but he knew that he couldn't stall any longer, and that this needed to be done sometime, maybe if he was angry he would actually have the strength to do what he had to.

"Brooke," He answered.

Brooke was surprised by the icy tone in his voice and his lack of enthusiasm toward her being there. Something was definitely wrong, and she immediately rushed to his side to see what the matter was, and she just hoped it wasn't something bad with his heart.

She started to get even more worried though, when he wouldn't meet her eyes and he practically jumped to the other side of the bed to avoid touching her at all costs. She was going to find out what the hell was going on, and she was going to find out right now.

"Lucas, what's wrong, are you okay?"

"I'm fine," came his icy reply.

"Does this have anything to do with the other day...? Lucas I am so sorry I ran, I mean it," she tried to reach out to him once again, and once again he shrugged off her embrace.

But she continued on anyway, determined to gain his forgiveness, "I should have stayed, I shouldn't have felt threatened. Can you forgive me?"

His silence was killing her, but when he finally replied, she just wished he wouldn't have said anything at all.

"Brooke, this isn't about the other day. I just don't think that this is going to work between us. I just can't be with someone who would just choose to walk away from everything she cares about," he spat, the anger creeping into his voice.

She couldn't believe what she was hearing. 'This wasn't how this was supposed to go' she thought to herself.

"Lucas….what…what are you talking about?" came her choked reply.

"I know you chose to stay in California, and I don't want to be with you Brooke, I've moved on, you should too," he lied, hoping she would just go away, knowing that would not be the case.

"Lucas, that's… that's crazy… I wanna be with you, and I thought you wanted that too," Brooke replied in a daze. She didn't want him to realize that she could have come back anytime, but she was not expecting this reaction. She didn't really do anything wrong, did she?

All she knew was that he had to forgive her, she didn't know what she would do if he didn't.

"Well you thought wrong."

"Lucas, you can't say that, please tell me that's not how you really feel," her voice broke with emotion. She couldn't have screwed up that badly.

"You want me to tell you how I really feel Brooke, I'll tell you" Lucas shouted, barely able to keep his emotions in check.

Brooke was frightened by the anger in his voice and the way he was looking at her. This had to be a mistake, they were supposed to be starting over, not falling apart.

"I'm hurt and downright pissed," Came the reply, and the ice in his eyes, made her break down in tears. She didn't realize how badly she had hurt him until she saw his eyes, and could see the emotion that lied within them.

"But Lucas, I was scared…." But she was cut off.

"Yeah well, do you know how it feels to have everyone you care about leave you? To have everything you love walk out of your life." He struggled not to break down as well, especially when he saw her begin to sob. He wasn't going to care anymore.

Brooke could see the raw emotion in his eyes, and she knew that this fight was far from over. She just listened in stunned silence tears rolling down her face as he continued his rant. He got up from the bed and began pacing the room, getting angrier with every word.

"Well I do. Keith, Haley, Mom, Nathan, You. Every person in the world that I loved walked away, and to find out that you could have stayed if you wanted to. It pisses me off. It was one thing when I thought you were forced to stay in California. I figured it was just going to be too hard for us, but to know that you just didn't want to talk to me, well it really tells me how much you care." He finished, willing her to feel at least half the hurt he did at this very moment.

"Lucas, I do care, I…love…"

"No, don't even say it. I heard it when I was in a coma. You love me, what a crock of shit, because if you loved me you wouldn't have gone out and gotten a new life."

"But Lucas, just listen, I was scared, scared to let you back in, scared to trust you again. I thought I was doing what was best; I thought I could just forget." She sobbed; she couldn't just let him walk away like this. She realized that she had made a mistake in staying in California, that's why she came back, but he wasn't listening to her pleading.

"Well did you?' He knew the answer already, but he just wanted to hear her say it.

"Of course not, I realized that you had my heart and that I was still in love with you" she laid it on the line, maybe if he realized that she did love him, maybe he would forgive her.

He looked at her, and saw how broken she was, and a part of him just wanted to back down, to let her in, but the bigger part of him just couldn't allow that. He was hurting so much with his heart and then her lies, that it felt so good to just let his frustrations out. He knew he would regret being so harsh with her later, but for right now all he wanted her to do was hurt.

"When?" he whispered, moving closer to her, an eerie calm tone in his voice.

"What?"

"I'm asking, when did you realize this?" He stood so that his face was mere inches from her own.

"About the moment after I left," her voice still strangled, the tears still freely falling.

"Well, you have a funny way of showing it because four months have passed since then. Brooke, you can't expect to just walk back in and have me welcome you with open arms. It doesn't work like that."

"But I'm not going anywhere this time. I want to be there for you. I want to help you. We can get through this. Together." She reached for him once again, but as soon as she made contact with his arm, he yanked it away as if her touch had burned him.

"No, I can get through this alone." He spat, the anger once again creeping in.

"You want to know why I kept my HCM a secret, do you really want to know?" he shouted, finally losing the battle with his emotions and breaking into tears.

"It's because I had no one to tell, no one that I thought would care. Do you know how that feels Brooke? Do you?"

Upon hearing this, her heart broke just a little more if that was possible, and she knew that she had hurt him, that she had driven him to this point. She was snapped out of her thoughts when he continued talking and pacing the floor to his room.

"So excuse me if I can't just forget that you walked away. That you weren't willing to give it a shot when I poured my heart out to you the first time. I just can't go back there Brooke, its time we just cut our losses and get out now. Besides, don't you want to go back home? He nearly tripped over the last word, up until a few days ago a part of him thought that he was her home, boy was he wrong.

"I am home. Lucas. I'm staying here and I'm not running away again."

"Well, don't stay on my account. You and me, we're through."

"But I came back for you, because I love you." She started crying harder again at her admission, it wasn't working and it was killing her, he seemed like such a stranger, and not the man she loved.

"You came back because you felt guilty Brooke, if you had come back for me as you put it, you would have been here long before now."

"So you're just going to walk away even though you love me too, well that's a jackass move." She said, a bit of the Brooke Davis fight seeping back into her veins.

"Who said I loved you?" He taunted his voice uncharacteristically raw and emotionless. "Besides, you gave up before, why would this time be different?" he asked, not waiting to hear the answer before he began walking to the door.

As she saw him turn his back on her, she realized that she had a decision to make, and fast. She could let him walk away in typical Brooke fashion, or she could fight for what she loved. She had run away before, and it had cost her everything, so this time she didn't choose the path of least resistance. She finally was going to fight for what she wanted when it came to her heart. And like it had since the very first moment she laid eyes on him, her heart wanted nothing but the boy with sandy blonde hair and piercing blue eyes.

"Lucas, I mean it; I'm not giving up this time. I realize that I made a mistake, okay. But you and me, we'll never just be through. There is too much there."

He was a little surprised that she was still not giving up, and that was exactly what part of him wanted, he wanted her to fight for him, but he didn't actually think that she would. Her next words though, stopped him dead in his tracks, and made a part of him cry out to just let it go and be with her.

"I am the girl for you Lucas Scott," she replied, her voice even and confident for the first time since she arrived, and the tears finally coming to an end.

"You may not think so now, but eventually you'll see it, and I'm going to prove it to you. I ran away once, and I'm not going to make that mistake twice."

He didn't turn around, didn't respond, but if Brooke could have seen his face in that exact moment, she would have seen the flicker of hope that danced within them, a sign that all was not lost.

But Brooke couldn't se the hope in his eyes, and so she left, she didn't want to go just yet, a part of her still hoping for him to call her back. But it did not come; he did not stop her from leaving. She had said all that she could say, and now the rest was up to him.

But she meant every word that she had said, she wasn't giving up. She would give him his space, but her heart refused to ever completely let go.

How can it be the same
when you know everything is changed

Broken trust can never be regained
It was never there to start
I have my reasons why
Not to waste it all on you

Don't worry guys; this is not the end I promise. It's only going to get better from here, so be prepared, its gonna be a good ride. Please let me know what you think, your reviews mean the world to me, even though I am pretty sure that some of you don't like me too much right now. The Lyrics in the chapter were Ingram Hill, 'Waste it all on You.' Thanks for reading.