-1Hey Guys, It didn't take quite as long for an update, so I'm glad about that. I'm going to try and make sure that they come a little more frequently. I promise, but you all are wonderful for always leaving me great reviews. And now, I'm totally plugging myself here, If you haven't read my new story It Starts With Goodbye, go check it out and let me know what you think.
The lyrics in this chapter are from Garth Brooks, If Tomorrow Never Comes.
Now on with the story….
Chapter 18- If Tomorrow Never Comes
If tomorrow never comes
Will she know how much I loved her
Did I try in every way to show her every day
That she's my only one
Lucas sat in the hospital room just waiting. As soon as he and Karen had walked through the double doors that led into the Tree Hill General the reality of the situation fully hit him.
Here he was, seventeen years old and having heart surgery to correct a genetic defect. There were so many thoughts floating through his mind, that he felt like he was going to go crazy. His mom had been occupied with the billing department and paperwork, so for the most part he had been left in the hospital room alone except for the random nurses that kept popping in and out.
Staring at the green walls he idly wondered why anyone would paint a room such a drab and depressing color. The whole color scheme screamed sickness and depression, and the listless color seemed to match his mood perfectly.
All of his friends routinely accused him of being Broody, and right now he was definitely living up to that nickname. It seemed that facing life-threatening surgery was enough to make him even more introspective than normal.
Truth of the matter was that he was scared shitless. He hadn't wanted to admit it to his mother, to Brooke or even to himself, but this scared him more than anything in the world.
He knew that he had kept his friend's at arms length lately, hell he'd kept Brooke even farther away, but the truth was it was a defense mechanism. With the way that his life had been going lately, it seemed that everything that he loved was being taken from him. Add that to the fact that he was officially damaged goods, and it was enough to make him never want to let anyone in again.
Truth be told, that was why he didn't tell them all and ask them, no beg them, to not let him do this alone. He was scared, terrified, and his initial reaction was to push everyone else away, so that they wouldn't have to feel half of what he was.
Staring at the emptiness of the hospital room he greatly regretted his choice now. He wanted his friends and brother there. He wanted to tell them things that, god forbid, maybe he wouldn't have the chance to later. Most of all, he wanted to tell them all just how much they meant to him, even if he still couldn't bring himself to show them most of the time.
He heard the light rasping on the door, and was grateful for the distraction. He figured that it was his mom, but was surprised when he realized that it wasn't.
"Knock, knock. Are you up for company?" He heard through the door, and watched as Brooke's familiar frame walked into his room.
She forced a weak smile as she walked in and tried to hide just how much this whole situation was affecting her nerves.
"You know Lucas, you really have to stop ending up in here, I've already managed to buy you at least one of everything at the gift shop," she attempted to joke.
"Hey Brooke. I'm glad you're here. I was starting to go crazy by myself." Lucas replied, slightly smiling at her attempt at humor.
"Look, Brooke, I'm sorry about earlier. You were just trying to help and I shouldn't have snapped at you."
"Lucas, it's ok," she answered as she nervously shifted from one foot to another.
Her nervous habit was not lost on Lucas, however, and he quickly figured out that there was something she was hiding from him. Deciding not to push her right then, he tried to continue with the light banter that usually flowed so easily between them.
"So you mean to tell me that you came to this hospital and didn't bring me a surprise. I'm shocked, Brooke Davis." he teased, the smile not quite reaching his eyes.
"Well, now that you mention it, I did bring you a surprise. It's just not one from the gift shop." She answered, figuring that she had to tell him sometime what she had done.
"Well what is it?" He curiously asked.
Instead of answering him, she walked over to the heavy brown door and swung it open. What she revealed were the three faces of Lucas's closest friends.
"Look, I know you're going to be mad at me," she immediately started rambling as she paced the hospital room. "I know you told me not to do it, but they love you Lucas, we all do, and we're your friends, and you need every one of us right now. So I'm sorry I didn't listen to you, but I--"
"Thank you," Lucas whispered as the tears almost filled up his eyes. He couldn't believe that she hadn't listened, but he was forever grateful to her. Then again, Brooke always did have the uncanny ability to know exactly what he needed, sometimes even before he did.
Brooke stopped dead in her tracks, eyes wide. He wasn't mad, in fact he seemed happy that she had told them.
Lucas gestured to the trio still standing at the door, frozen, waiting for the fallout that never came. "Guys, I'm so sorry I didn't tell you before. I'm so glad you're here."
That was all Haley needed to hear before she ran towards the hospital bed, dragging Nathan right along with her. She practically jumped onto the hospital bed and wrapped Lucas into a tight hug, and then pulled away and punched him on the arm, hard.
"Lucas Scott, don't you ever keep things from me again," she said as she tried to keep the hurt out of her eyes.
Nathan just looked at his brother and could see how scared he was, he didn't even have to ask. Even though in most things he and Lucas were different as night and day, deep down they thought a lot alike. They just expressed it in different ways.
They were still all a little hurt, but it wasn't something that they wouldn't get over. After all, they were the most important things to each other in the whole world, and right now they would support Lucas in any way that they could.
Brooke was the one to break the awkward silence that descended quickly over the room. "So Lucas, what time do you go?"
"In about an hour."
"Well, we'll be here waiting when you get out, man." Nathan said.
"What about the game? None of you will be able to go if you stay here."
"Lucas, you are much more important than a game." Peyton said, breaking her silence for the first time since she entered the room. "Besides, Whitey gave us his permission to be here."
Lucas just nodded, grateful that their coach hadn't given them all a hard time about leaving school and ditching the game.
"Look guys, I know that everything will turn out okay with this, but I really want to let you all know how much it means that you are all here and that you've all stood beside me, even if I haven't been the easiest thing to deal with."
"Luke, that's what family is for," Haley broke in.
"Just because we're all not related by blood, it doesn't make us any less of a family." Brooke added.
And that was the truth, they were a family in the truest sense of the word. They loved each other deeper and pushed each other further then anyone ever could. As they all silently looked around the room, they all paused for a second realizing that one part of the family was still missing.
Karen opened the door, ending the moment and saying, "Lucas the doctors said that they have to send you to prep in a few minutes." Then she looked up and realized that Lucas was not alone, and instead was surrounded by the people he needed most in the world.
Locking eyes with Brooke, she sent her a grateful look, she knew that it was her doing, and that she was the reason Lucas was surrounded by everyone he loved. Moving towards Brooke, Karen gently squeezed her hand and whispered a quick "Thank you" to the girl.
Lucas just nodded. This was it, there was no going back.
Karen walked up to her son, trying to hold her tears at bay. "I love you my boy," she whispered as she gave him a gentle kiss on the forehead.
"I have to go clear something else with billing," Karen said as she made her way to the door, squeezing Lucas' hand one last time before she walked out the room, leaving the kids alone to say whatever they needed to say to each other.
"I'll see you guys in a few minutes. I love you Lucas," she added one more time.
"I love you too mom," he replied in voice thick with emotion. He knew it was almost time to go, but he wanted to make sure that everyone in the room knew how much they meant to him.
Peyton stepped up first and went to sit next to Lucas, pulling him into a hug.
"You're a good friend Luke," she said trying to choke back tears.
"You too Peyt."
"Now you better be ok, because I need someone else on my side when it comes to music," she joked, looking in Brooke's direction.
Lucas just laughed and pulled her tighter. "I will."
"Ok and just so you know, I care about you a lot Luke, I need you here to keep me sane with all of them."
"I know." he replied, letting her go after he placed a light kiss on her forehead.
They were so good at this now, the whole friends thing. It seemed that with time they had both realized that they were too alike to ever actually be in a relationship. Besides both of their hearts completely belonged to someone else, even if they didn't know how to admit that to those people quite yet.
"Thanks, Peyt. For everything." he said as she turned one last time and then headed out into the waiting room.
Haley walked over to him next, tears rolling down her face.
"Hey buddy, come here. Don't cry," Lucas said as he pulled her close and rested his head on top of hers. "Nothing is going to happen to me, I promise."
"I know," she replied as she tried to wipe away her tears. "But, I just got you back, I don't want to loose you again."
"Hales, you never lost me to begin with," he said as he lifted her chin so that they were eye to eye. "I promise you, we will always be in each other's lives. Always."
"I love you Lucas," she whispered as she got off of the bed, and wrapped her self in Nathan's arms.
Never being the one for sentimentalities, Nathan walked over to Lucas, and bumped fists with him, doing their brotherly handshake ritual.
"Get better soon man," he said as he and Haley made their way to the door. Pausing at the door he turned around.
"Luke…" He paused, locking eyes with his brother, silently telling him that he loved his and was worried about him, his eyes saying everything he couldn't find the words for.
"I know Nate, you too." Lucas replied, understanding the silent message. "Don't worry, I'll be fine, Little Brother." Lucas called out to his brother's retreating form.
"And then there were two," Lucas tried to joke as he looked at Brooke from across the hospital room.
She slowly made her way over to him, gingerly grabbing his hand as she sat down. There was still so much awkwardness between them, so many feelings unsaid, but right now all that mattered is that he came through this surgery alright. Everything else could wait.
"Thank you Brooke, for standing by me. I know that I've pushed you away, and I'm sorry. What you did today, it meant a lot to me."
"Anything for you." she whispered as she leaned her head against his chest.
"I just need you to do one thing for me ok?" she whispered. "I need you to get through this surgery okay, I couldn't take it if anything happened to you."
Her statement scared Lucas, but he didn't want to let on. That was what he was afraid of, not being able to be there for everyone else, not being able to keep his promise and be fine.
Pushing the thoughts away for the moment, he just pulled her close, wanting to savor the feeling of having her in his arms, just in case.
"I will Brooke, don't worry. But do me one favor too, and stick close to my mom. I know that she loves you more than anything, and.."
"Broody, you didn't even have to ask. I love your mom too," she said as she settled back against him, afraid to break the contact.
"Lucas we need to take you down now," the nurse said as she entered the room, smiling at the site of the two teenagers who obviously meant the world to each other. She went out just as quickly, giving the two one more chance to say good-bye.
"Brooke, about the kiss the other day,. About everything, look, I.." Lucas started but was cut off by Brooke.
"We'll talk about all of that later, Broody. Right now they have to fix your heart," she said, the tears now freely rolling down her cheeks.
He wanted to protest, but stopped and pulled her closer, reveling in her touch, her smell, taking a perfect picture in his mind of this moment.
Silently she leaned up and placed her lips gently on to his, kissing him with everything she had. "Just in case." she whispered as the nurses walked back in the room, and she let go of his hand.
Turning to walk out the door, no more words were said between the pair, but something told her that they would never truly be able to let go of each other, no matter how hard they tried.
It had been three hours since Lucas had been sent down to surgery and the natives were getting restless. They should have heard something by now.
Nathan and Haley were curled up in two chairs idly watching the television above them. Neither had let go of the other one since they left Lucas' room. It seemed that seeing their friend in danger had reaffirmed for them that life was to precious to waste.
Peyton was sitting a few chairs away, diligently sketching on her notepad. The drawing that was taking shape was a picture of the five of them in the hospital room with the words family written on the top. Peyton hesitated slightly before she started penciling in the figure of Jake, adding him to the group, because wherever he was, he was still a part of them all.
Karen and Brooke sat together in the corner, trying to cheer each other up and take away some of the worry that was eating them up with every passing minute.
The two were chatting about everything, and Karen was busy telling Brooke stories of Lucas when he was little. Being able to talk to Brooke was helping Karen's fragile nerves.
"… And I found Lucas and Haley two hours later curled up in the closet, still wearing their superman costumes." Karen finished, telling about some of the antics of a young Haley and Lucas.
"Family of Lucas Scott," They heard the doctor say, and immediately all five of them were up and awaiting news on Lucas's condition.
"We're his family," Karen responded, gripping onto Brooke tightly in fear as she walked up to the slightly balding man that had identified himself as Lucas' doctor.
"I need to speak to a Miss Karen Roe," the doctor said as he looked at the chart in front of him, his voice giving away nothing..
"I'm Karen," she replied, "And anything you need to tell me you can say in front of them," she said as she gestured to the four kids standing next to her.
"How is he?" Nathan asked, holding on to Haley for dear life.
" I can't tell you that son. For confidentiality purposes, I think it would be better if we spoke privately Miss Roe," the doctor said, and Brooke had to restrain herself from punching him as he led Karen over to a private room to talk.
That was never good, she thought, as every bad scenario possible flashed through her brain at once. Lucas had to be okay, nothing would ever be the same if he wasn't.
The four stared intently at the doctor and Karen, looking for any possible hint as to what Lucas's condition was, finding none form their body language.
Then fear struck all of their hearts as they clearly saw the tears running down Karen's face. They imagined the worst as she thanked the doctor and walked towards them, still obviously crying and shaking slightly.
Brooke immediately ran to Karen and hugged her as tight as possible, still not knowing whether or not Lucas was okay.
"Karen, how is he?" she asked, stating the question that they all desperately needed to know the answer to.
But all they were met with was Karen's shocked expression and the tears still running down her face.
So tell that someone that you love
Just what you're thinking of
If tomorrow never comes