A/N: Here I am! There, I've changed this fic's category, it's now under Angst for the next few chapters. Ahh...I'm such a depressed person. So anyway there are some lightheartedness in this chapter (or the next. Or the next one after. Or in the whole fic. You get the picture), but I can guarantee you that overall, this is a story that revolves about Sora's being more human, Kairi's being less than a perfect princess of light, and Riku's inclination to be jealous of Sora,...feh. I'm not saying anything else. Okay. Read already.
Disclaimer: As I've typed in a fit of anger in the last eleven chapters, I DO NOT OWN Kingdom Hearts.
XII: Chain It Down
"Why...? Why did it all come to this?" she murmured as she fingered the thalassa-shell charm, her heart heavy, her mind tired. She was here, sitting on the very paopu tree that they had come to cherish; the paopu tree that had been witness to their talk of different worlds, back then when they were still the best of friends.
Her breath caught in her throat. Still?
She wanted their friendship back. She thought longingly of the days before the Heartless ravaged their islands. She even wished the Heartless never came. What if Riku never opened the Keyhole? What if none of this had ever happened?
Impossible. Riku was born a Wielder, and will forever be a Wielder. The Keyblade would then pass onto him, and everything would have to happen.
She wanted to kick herself for wishing for a very impossible event. But that was exactly what wishes were for, right?
Riku no longer spared her the most fleeting of glances; he was ignoring her outright for, she supposed, her outburst last Halloween against his best friend. Earlier that afternoon she had seen them hand in hand as they walked the corridors of the Academy, talking like they didn't have a care in the world, ignoring the pointed stares and the whispers that followed them. They strode along as if the world were theirs. Him and Naminé. Her shadow.
She had already been replaced in Riku's heart because she had almost gone berserk on his best friend (repeated for emphasis). Who wouldn't get mad if someone left you over and over again, not caring if he hurt you or not? Some might say that she's a princess of light, and that she wasn't like any ordinary girl who could rant and get pissed off.
Not true. Was she expected to be some goody-goody who was just somebody else to be saved from the darkness? A damsel in distress?
Hell, she hated that term. She can fight on her own, thank you very much. She had learned to use (and be very good at it, she might add) a crossbow in Field Battles, and if pressured, yes, she will fight. But what did another particular Wielder do?
He left her. To protect her.
Now, Kairi understood the reason, he loved her, he didn't want her to get hurt. But leaving her because he thought she couldn't handle herself? Uh, no, she didn't exactly approve of that.
How she hated him. She hated him with such a passion that if she had a Heartless, it most certainly would be able to take over Kingdom Hearts itself. She hated him. But mostly she hated herself for falling in love.
With the most unreachable person in existence. The balance. The Keybalde Master. The Wielder of Light. The Key to Kingdom Hearts. Her head was starting to get a headache from enumerating his titles.
Simply Sora.
Her back stiffened; pounding footsteps (and she could tell it was really pounding. Just try to stomp loud on sand; let's see if you make a sound) had snapped her out of her thoughts. She looked over her shoulder to see a fuming blonde girl, her chest heaving with every mad breath she took, her legs leaving strands of darkness traced in the air in their wake.
"N-Naminé?" She choked out, not liking the fact that she was angry, even if Nobodies couldn't even feel.
"You," she hissed, her electric blue eyes sparkling with anger.
Kairi jumped off the tree and the raised Island it was planted on in one smooth movement, never keeping her eyes off Naminé's. She backed slowly into the door which separated this place from the main beach.
"Naminé, what...?"
"Why? Why does he still love you!"
She blinked. She wanted to say she had no idea what she was talking about, but that irritating voise in her head told her that she knew exactly why her normally peaceful (a little bit pushover) Nobody was looking murderous right now. And she really looked like she just might kill her, and she would feel no remorse, because she couldn't feel. Suddenly getting on a very wide expanse of beach seemed like a good idea. Her hand groped for the lock on the wooden door.
Naminé slowly walked closer, the gleam in her eyes very much like a predator who'd just cornered its prey.
Come on, stupid lock!
"TELL ME WHY!" she screamed.
"I don't know, Naminé!" she shouted back, her heart beating fast. "I don't know why Riku loves me! I didn't even know he still cared about me!"
"Then why won't you let him go!"
"I'm not holding him back! You can be his girlfriend for all I care!" Naminé stood still, her mouth working. Throwing in that card must've been effective to have such an effect as that. Well, it was true, she had no right to control what Riku wanted to do. If he still loved Kairi, then ignoring her was a funny way to show it. Her skittering hand found the rusty bolt and she slid it open. The door swung out with a nasty creak into the docks.
"Kairi! Come back here!"
----------
"Ow! Did you know that this is the third time I've had a close encounter with a hedge? What is the matter with you?"
Sora rubbed his left arm, which was now a showcase of assorted cuts and bruises he had acquired when Roxas pulled him down behind the nearest bush (which was saying something, the nearest bush was about ten feet away). He watched blood trickle down and drip onto the white sand, and he threw his Nobody a very dirty look.
"Sora, there's somebody coming!"
For the life of him he just couldn't figure out what exactly was wrong with somebody seeing them sparring. "And so what?"
They had been sparring on the docks for about an hour and a half earlier. Seriously, Roxas' synch blades had a huge advantage over Sora's solo one, and Sora almost always found himself on the losing end. He tried Driving into another form so that he could synchronize two Keyblades too, but for some reason he couldn't. He had realized that he hadn't driven into another Form (save for the memorable Final he adopted during Halloween night) ever since he and Roxas had unmerged; and he remembered that even that Final Form seemed to drain him of energy. He'd better go see those three fairies sometime.
Roxas had just shrugged at this occurence and continued to pound on him. One advantage that Sora had was that he could summon the Keyblade at will, even if it was thrown out of his reach. It always came back. He supposed Roxas could do the same, he was his Nobody, but he couldn't get the hang of it. Thus Sora found Strike Raids effective; knocking the Keyblades out of Roxas' hands proved to be a good strategy.
He was about to yell at Roxas for dragging him behind the bush when the Wielder clamped a hand tightly to his mouth, silencing him.
"Shhh! Sora, keep quiet!" he breathed as he peered over the bush. Defeated, Sora rolled his eyes and followed suit. And for once, he was glad Roxas had told him to shut up.
"N-Naminé! Honest! I am NOT holding him back! It's not my fault!"
His eyes widened at the sight. Kairi had just backed up from the other side of the island, her gaze trained on a very furious Naminé. Said furious Naminé was now summoning a lot of Dusks around her, darkness streaming out of the sand below her feet. Roxas gave an involuntary gasp as he made to stand up. Sora put a hand on his shoulder and shook his head.
"I knew it. You're insane." Roxas whispered angrily. "Naminé will kill if provoked. All Nobodies do."
"She won't." he replied quietly. "She knows that if she kills her Other she will fade away with her."
"I didn't know that," he murmured as he knelt back down, planting the Oathkeeper and the Oblivion side by side in the sand.
"You ARE!" Naminé shouted, tears threatening to fall down. The Dusks started moving restlessly as they wondered why they have been called.
"How can I? He's been ignoring me for the last couple of days!"
Sora's heart did a backflip. Roxas glanced at him questioningly. Were the girls talking about him?
"Why won't you just let Riku go!"
And with that question Sora's heart stopped doing gymnastics and slumped down in his ribcage, beating weakly. At least that's how he felt what his heart was doing. They were fighting over Riku. It confirmed his thoughts that yes, Kairi had fallen for Riku. God his world was twisted.
"I already have! Naminé, stop it!"
Huh? Already have? His mind was reeling from what he had just heard.
"No. You just won't let go of him, even if you already have Roxas as a replacement for Sora!"
Kairi's eyes widened.
Roxas' mouth dropped open.
Sora's hand clenched painfully on the handle of the Kingdom Key.
And Sora's Antifrom giggled madly, singing 'I told yooouu so!' over and over again. Roxas threw him a reproachful look, but his pale face gave it away. Maybe that look was supposed to that puppy-eyes look his Nobody was famous for...? Well, it wasn't working. His heart pounded, his mind working furiously, trying to grasp what Naminé had meant by that.
You are just so slow, Sora. She meant exactly what she said. And his antiform did the counterpart of whatever Heartless do when they roll their eyes.
The redhead took a step back from her Nobody, as if she was at a loss for words. Naminé seemed to notice this, and her face darkened even more. "You---isn't one boy enough? Kairi you already have Roxas! Why, for all I know, you just like him because he's so much like Sora!"
He wanted to just stop listening, but he couldn't. His hand shook as he glanced at the blonde boy beside him, who was too busy staring at the two girls to notice Sora's gaze. It was a good thing too, because if looks could kill, Roxas would only be strands of darkness by now.
"S-shut up, Naminé..." Kairi suddenly spoke up, her voice gathering strength and emotion with every pained syllable. "Shut up!"
"Aaahh I found you out, didn't I?" Naminé's voice took on a mocking tone, the Dusks around her stepping forward. "It's such a good thing, that I can't feel, huh? Think I can't feel hurt?"
"SHUT THE HELL UP!" she screamed, her tears falling freely now. " Do you know the pain of feeling? Do you know what it's like to love someone I CAN NEVER HAVE, HUH?"
The pale blonde girl's eyes widened visibly at Kairi's outburst. It almost looked like she was starting to cower under her Other's anger, but she recovered quickly. "Uh, no, since I can't feel anything!"
"You're so damn lucky, you know that! You can have Riku for all I care! Go! JUST LEAVE ME ALONE! Leave me alone!" she cried as she dropped on her knees, her tears draining away between the grains of sand.
"You know I can never do that," Naminé said in a strained voice, obviously not liking the sight of her Other crying her eyes out on the sand. Sora, on the other hand, felt a little bit...gratified.
"I'd never wish this feeling on anyone...not even you, not even on Ansem, not even on Maleficent..." she sobbed quietly.
"Kairi..."
It took all of Sora's self-control to not jump out of the bushes and put a comforting arm around his princess, whatever she thought of him. He momentarily pushed aside the fact that yes, this was the girl who broke his heart one cool evening ago, when Kingdom Hearts had showered the Islands with fragments of shining stars. He looked down at his Keyblade, its silver length reflecting the light from the sunset filtering through the leaves of his bush. At that precise moment he felt like breaking it in two.
Naminé seemed to regret making Kairi feel so bad; with a wave of her hand she dismissed the Dusks, leaving only fading strands of darkness in their place. She knelt down in front of the sobbing girl and bit her lip, putting an arm around Kairi's shoulders as she tried to calm her.
"Kai...I'm sorry for blowing up like that, I..."
But Kairi didn't seem to be listening, she still continued crying silently, her tears tracing reflected paths of salt down her face.
That's enough. Sora thought. I can't take this anymore. Angry or not, she needs someone. He was about to stand up from behind the shrub when Kairi's voice sliced through the silence.
"I want Sora, Naminé... I need him," she sobbed hysterically into her Nobody's shoulder. "But I can't have him, I just can't because I'm a princess of light and he's...he's the Key, he's the Key, he has to go and leave everyone because it's his duty, and I'm so mad at myself because I can't stop loving him, someone who I can never be with, someone who---"
"Shhh, Kai," Naminé shushed the now-hysterical redhead.
"No I just love him so much, and it hurts when he has to leave and I can't do anything about it, it hurts so much that no matter how I love him, no matter how I'd give everything up just to be with him, he can never be mine, ohh Naminé he can never be..."
"Breathe, Kairi. Relax and just---"
"NO I just want the pain to stop I just want to forget him already, I don't want to be hurt anymore."
----------
King Mickey looked up. Somewhere, somehow, a Wielder's heart, already broken, had been shattered anew, and the scream of silent pain had resonated throughout Kingdom Hearts. And he had the guiltiest feeling that it had something to do with a letter he had sent half a year ago.
He traced a finger down the crumbling page of the book he was searching through. He had been leafing through books nonstop since this morning, hoping to find something about the origins of the Keyblade. He had no choice in sending Sora out, he was the Key to Kingdom Hearts after all; and he was the only Wielder he knew that could seal the Keyhole.
Really. He had absolutely no choice.
But if luck was on his side he might find some way for the Wielder to lead a normal life, at least until they figured out a way to seal all the Keyholes permanently. He sighed. He was just lying to himself if he thought he could ever find a way to give Sora the life he deserved after saving the known universe twice over.
"Your Majesty?"
He looked up from the diagram of a World's door to darkness. It was one of his ethereal advisers; one of whom could travel between the worlds without the use of either a gummi ship or the Corridors. They had been called...he thought Aeons once. "Yes, Shiva?"
A woman with pale blue skin, locks of midnight blue hair and pools of ice for eyes walked in, ice forming where her feet trod. "Ah, King, I have a...message."
"Well? Read it out!"
"My concerns are not with mortal ones, King." Shiva said haughtily before disappearing into a flurry of snowflakes.
Kiing Mickey sighed again. That was the fourth time snowflakes had melted into his carpet; he'd have to call the brooms again. (Well, it was better than the time Ifrit paid his courtesies, the room smelled like burnt...something for about a month). He picked up the box the Ice Guardian had left behind (taking care to let it defrost a bit, if he even touched it before thawing it out he'd get frostbitten) and ripped off the duct tape. Inside was a note and a sphere recorder.
Your Majesty, I have been instructed to pass on this recording to you. Fallah Ivalice.
His heart skipped a beat; if he remembered correctly this Fallah had a knack for attracting the most unusual of callers; it was through her that Sora called the Castle and asked (well, violently demanded) to speak to the King. He felt his tail curl involuntarily around the chair leg as he reached for the sphere and pressed the playback button.
"Tell him Organization XIII sends their...dearest greetings."
He had the funniest feeling that this call was no prank. Just like Sora's.
His gaze strayed to the sword hanging beside his portrait, the sword he used for knighting. Tomorrow night it shall end.
----------
Silence.
Well, not exactly silent. Kairi was still crying, and Naminé was trying her best to make her stop.
That was the scene which greeted Riku as he found himself on real land once more. Somehow he portalled into the Corridors just before he hit the ground of the clocktower. He had been so desperate to find a way to live that he had called on the very darkness that he strove to overcome. He could swear he could hear Xehanort's Heartless laughing.
Voices in their heads was Sora's area of expertise, not his.
"You don't mean that, Kairi. You just don't." Naminé said in a horrified voice, recoiling from her Other as if physically struck. "You can't, not after all that--"
"I do. After everything that had happened, and everything that will happen, I really do..." she said in a very quiet voice, as if really didn't want anyone to hear what she was saying.
"I---If that's what you really want, I can help you," Naminé said slowly, looking uncertain. "I suppose I could chain your memories of him."
Kairi's head snapped up; her pale violet eyes widening. "Erase Sora from my mind...?"
She shook her head. "I can never erase memories; I only chain them down. But it's a reprieve--"
"Yes."
Something shot through Riku's heart; a very brief but very loud scream of pain echoed through Kingdom Hearts at Kairi's words. That was the second time that day that something like that had happened. Owner of said bleeding heart must be dying right now; to feel such pain could certainly kill. Good thing he wasn't that Wielder.
Wait.
Did Kairi just agree to effectively forget Sora?
What the hell was happening with the world?
"How could you even say that!" he yelled furiously as he sprang to his feet, both girls turning their heads to look at him in shock (well, shock was a bit of an understatement, seeing how Naminé almost fainted, and how Kairi screamed.) "Naminé! How could you suggest such a thing! After what you and Sora had gone through in Oblivion...! And Kairi! I don't even want to know why!"
"Riku..." Kairi said softly, her eyes pleading. "Please..."
On the other hand, the blonde girl kneeling in front of Kairi took a more verbal stand on what was happening. She got to her feet as tears sprang to her face again.
"I...Riku, I don't know... I just wanted to feel so bad, I just wanted to be loved by somebody!" She cried, her fingers struggling to wipe away her tears. " Now I'm crying even if can't feel, I'm only remembering how to, what did I do to deserve this! Riku, I love you, I think I really do, but how can I compete, I'm only a shadow of someone you truly love..."
He bit his lip but decided to stand his ground. "But you should be grateful for what Sora had done. Both of you. He saved us all."
"Well he missed a spot," Kairi sniffed. "A damn huge spot. You were ignoring me, Riku, and I'd be really happy if you just continued and minded your own business!"
Riku was left speechless.
"Do it, Nam." Kairi said stoically, pulling her Nobody down in the sand in front of her. "Chain my memories of Sora Hikari."
"No I can't!" she said hysterically, a portal forming behind her. "I just wanted to love, not be hurt like this. I wish he hadn't brought us back!" she sobbed, falling backwards into the Corridors and disappearing out of sight.
"What...?" her Other said wonderingly. "He brought us back...?"
The things people say when they're upset, Riku thought, remembering that it was Roxas and Naminé who told him to keep his mouth shut about Sora in front of Kairi. He sighed, thinking of something to say to distract Kairi from what she had just heard. Said redhead turned her wide-eyed stare on him, apparently a question on the tip of her tongue.
"If this is what feeling is all about, then I'm sure as hell glad that I'm a Nobody."
There was a very uncomfortable pause as Roxas suddenly spoke up, revealing himself from behind the Gysahl bush he, Riku supposed, had been hiding.
"Didn't anyone tell you it was kind of rude to eavesdrop on somebody's conversation?" Kairi said testily, staring at the blonde Wielder.
"Didn't anyone tell you it kind of hurts when someone you've loved all your life wants to just forget who you are?" he shot back, the Oathkeeper and Oblivion suddenly in his hands.
"Roxas," he said in a warning tone, the Way to the Dawn coalescing in his own pale hand. If Roxas tried anything funny, he'd know what a very pissed off Wielder can do.
"What do you care!" the redhead yelled at him. "As if---"
"Tried and tested, failed all the time," he said nonchalantly. "Yeah, I can't feel, but---Sora!" His eyes were suddenly trained on something behind the bush; his voice raised to a frightened pitch.
---------
Kairi felt her blood run cold, not at the frightened tone of voice Roxas was using right now, not at the flabbergasted expression platinum-haired (what? it was platinum) Riku had on, but at the eyes that stared at her from Sora's face as he walked out from behind the bush.
Dead. His eyes were as dead as those of a corpse's, the light that should've been sparkling from life gone completely.
"Feh," he said in a faint voice, the slight smile gracing his pale (pale!) lips making his expression even more disturbing. "That seems to clear up quite a few things."
"S-sora?" She managed to choke out.
"Sora, let's just...go." Roxas said in that same frightened voice, seeming to fear for his Other's sanity, because despite of that smile on his face silent tears were falling out of the corner of his eyes. Sora nodded quietly, his smile fading completely from his face. It looked as if he'd never smile again. A portal opened and both boys stepped through.
Guilt hit her like a brick as she watched the portal fade. She gazed beseechingly at Riku.
"Please..." she whimpered as Riku advanced on her silently.
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Feh. Feh. Feh. Man I love that word. Although it has no meaning whatsoever...I think. What does that mean, anyway? I need to know... Ahem. Sorry for the darker tone of story, I dunno why I write like that. Also, I've decided on the ending. Well, I cringed a bit at the idea at first, but after going over it over and over (stop already, it's getting redundant) it seemed a bit more...fitting. However, if you have any ideas on what you'd like to happen, let me know, I might still be able to put it in.
Ah. I would like to give my hearfelt thanks to the guys who reviewed me so far.
Cookies for you all! Yay! Please go on reviewing!
Flamers...go ahead, it's not like I'd call spirits on ya or anythin'. Or maybe not. Well, say whatever you wanna say.
See ya in chappie XIII.