A/N: Sorry sorry sorry sorry for the huge delay! Loads of schoolwork...and a barely passing grade on that essay...-sobs-. So anyway, I'm a bit...sad; reviews have declined in number, see. Uhm...where are you guys...?
Warning: Extreme chapter longness, blood, and angst.
Disclaimer: Square Enix owns the wonder that is Kingdom Hearts. Square Enix is Heartless, for Square Enix has set the release date of FFXII here on October 29. Square Enix must know that that is a very long time. -shakes fist angrily- But one must not be angry with Square Enix, for they do have the right to torture us poor fans, who patiently wait for the next game's release... -sobs-
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XX: Bloodlust
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Sora winced; the white gauze Vexen had so carefully wrapped around his seared skin was coming off, and the burnt flesh was poking through. He winced again. It looked gross. Ew.
"Wielder? You okay?" Lexaeus' voice boomed out from behind him.
He sighed, and finally tore the offending strip of cloth off his hand, tossing the bloody remnants in one of the trash cans placed strategically around the gym (for Lexaeus was not only a health buff, but a vigilant environmentalist as well--of course, when your element of control is earth, you couldn't be blamed for that, right?). "Pfft," he bit his lip. Good thing he couldn't feel pain; this would've hurt like hell.
"Good lord, why did you take that off?"
Sora turned around and sighed. "I can't fight with something hanging off my arm like this!"
Number Five laughed. "It's a miracle you can even fight with your arm like that, Sora."
He grinned.
The hulking Nobody had taken charge of training Sora in the nuances of being a Nobody in battle--and seriously, the Corridors were cool. It was amazing how much damage a Nobody could stand--the photograph Lexaeus had shown him of a Demyx kunai-cushion was testament to that. But he, Sora, could withstand much, much more injury. Aside from the fact that normally deadly attacks left him with only light scratches (inherited from his Heartless side--they were more resilient than weeds; and Axel had told him earlier that the Firaga he had sent was enough to burn something to the bone), he couldn't feel the pain...whether that was good or bad, Sora still had no idea.
He was still a bit lacking in the portalling aspect. Lexaeus told him it was probably the same concentration he uses to summon his Keyblade, but it was far more easier, in Sora's opinion.
How did they manage to make portalling so easy? Feh, even the fancy hand gestures Xemnas always made weren't even needed...proof that he really was melodramatic.
On the bright side, at least he had managed to portal six feet from where he originally was. Hm.
"You need to work on your left side--you always leave it open."
Sora flipped over and propelled himself off the wall, landing behind Lexaeus.
Right. He was supposed to be sparring with Five, not contemplating the day's events.
"My left side? Huh?" He groaned as the tomahawk caught him by the right heel as he quick ran, making him fall flat on the ground. "No fair!"
"Nothing's fair in this world, kiddo," Lexaeus reminded him, swinging his tomahawk over his head as he prepared to pummel Sora to the ground.
Sora groaned again--his burnt arm had left such a bloody print on the white floor. Shaking his head (a bit of bleach would take care of that nicely), he rolled out of the way of the tomahawk and sprinted to the other side of the training gym (in which the white walls were decorated with various posters declaring the virtues of a healthy, red-meat-free diet, milk, and proper sex education). Lexaeus came charging again, and this time, Sora finally focused.
The Kingdom Key, being a Keyblade of light, no longer answered his call--none of his Keychains would work either. No matter; the Dark Keyblade worked magnificently. Sora was always careful not to let the Keyblade take Lexaeus' shard of heart--he might not be able to control himself then. Pfft. His clawed left hand did most of the work anyway. It was fun watching the trails of darkness dancing in the air as he moved.
"Hiyaa!" he yelled jokingly, rushing to meet Lexaeus, and tomahawk and Keyblade clashed together.
"Finally, you've stepped up offense," Five said happily, before they both pushed off the other and skidded backwards. "That's the Keyblade Master I know."
Sora twirled the night-black Keyblade once he ran forward. "C'mon Lex!"
He suddenly stopped short, and barely managed to dodge the critical blow Five had just delivered. "Sora? You okay?"
buddyboy!
Sora was in no condition to answer--he was too preoccupied in keeping his Antiform under control. It was struggling to break free once again; characterized by a thirst for blood. Literally. And in the way Sora was sure warm blood was pounding in Lexaeus' veins right now, the craving was very hard to control.
It wasn't this bad before...agh!
C'mon, you don't need to spend your time here! There's still Kingdom Hearts to take over!
"Aah!" he gritted his teeth, falling on his knees, head between his hands. He let the Dark Keyblade disappear. Control, he needed control...
"W-wielder?"
He looked up into Lexaeus' worried face (true worry, yes) and instantly forced himself to look at the ground. The slight blush of blood rushing from hard exertion was too much--the craving was becoming stronger, much stronger.
Feh, take him!
"Lexaeus, RUN!" he managed to scream before his control snapped, and his Antiform took over.
Hmmm...now that Sora thought about it, it wasn't so bad. He had no heart, after all, why would he worry? He looked up once again, through Heartless eyes. He had turned completely Heartless...cool.
Lexaeus backed away slowly, surprise etched on his face. Stupid. Didn't take his advice to run.
"Uh uh! You're mine!" Sora and Antiform screeched at the same time, claws poised to strike, ready to kill and taste blood. It was going to be a fun day.
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Kairi fidgeted in her seat; something that never normally did in Lifestream Physics. All she usually did in said subject was either doodle, daydream, or do both at the same time. However, today was a first--the professor was late.
She grimaced. She hated her professor.
All she looked forward to this class was the end of it. She had, miraculously, finished her Physics homework on time; she had almost resorted to calling Naminé; but she realized she had never gotten her Nobody's number in the first place.
Another reason to look forward to the blessed moment when the bell rang. Which was approximately an hour and fourteen minutes to go.
"Huh?"
There was a sudden commotion at the door, and suddenly scores of students burst into the room.
"What the..?" her voice trailed off as more and more students crowded inside; not only from her year, but from the next higher. "Riku!"
The platinum-haired boy waved back and threaded his way to her desk, oblivious to the wistful sighs of the girls he passed as he sat down on the floor next to her, leaning on her leg (which made her blush a thousand shades of red). "Hey, Kairi," he smiled.
"Why're you here? This is a year II class," she asked, curious to as why the students would pack themselves like sardines in a single room (and ignoring the fact that he was leaning on her leg--geez, why'd his hair have to feel so soft, anyway?). She subconsciously started to play with his silver strands, and Riku sighed wistfully. Hm. Maybe she should borrow his conditioner sometime.
"No idea, we were about to have Physics III when--"
"--some wiseguy calls us out of the classroom and tells us to follow him, right?"
Kairi arched a ruby eyebrow at the sudden grin Roxas gave her as he sat on the floor behind Riku. "You guys too? Where's Naminé? And..." she eyed the blonde boy, who squirmed under her scrutiny ,"What happened to you?"
"What do you mean, what happened to me?" he asked in a voice that clearly said that he knew what she meant.
"Don't be stupid--"
"No, I won't go out with you, no way," a miffed Naminé scooted over to them, brushing off a random guy as she passed them. Kairi's eyes widened, and she felt Riku go rigid against her leg (and squeeze her hand--huh? how did his fingers manage to intertwine themselves with hers? Whatever--it actually felt good, so she squeezed back).
"If I may ask, what happened to you two?" He asked cautiously. "You look...different. Older. Uhm. I think I'm going crazy."
Roxas and Naminé exchanged looks and laughed nervously. The blonde boy grinned, shifting his bag so that the girl could sit on the floor beside him. "Looks like it was a success, Nam."
She nodded enthusiastically. "Over the weekend we decided to...well, improve how we...ehem, look."
"No duh," Kairi giggled. The two had changed--nothing drastic, but the change was noticeable. Like how Naminé had grown more beautiful and mature overnight or something. Roxas was still his own charmingly bedheaded self, but his voice had deepened to a pleasant tenor, and he had matured too. Fro some reason, they looked more...sixteen years old. Hm. At least their weekend was normal.
Roxas stared around. "I thought Sora had the same schedule as this, Kairi, but we haven't seen him since this morning...did he come to school?"
Kairi's face instantly soured, and Riku answered for her, thank heavens. She might just throttle someone if he didn't.
"He... he started journeying again, after the Knighting," he said hesitantly.
Naminé cocked her head thoughtfully. "That's a bit rude; he didn't even say goodbye to me and Roxas..."
"He didn't say goodbye to us either," Kairi spat bitterly. "King Mickey was the one who told us that he just went on."
"Oh," Roxas said uncomfortably. Probably because of the look she knew was on her face. Good thing everyone else was pretty much distracted with either chatting with each other or staring at the legendary Riku to care whether Kairi had a murderous expression on or not.
"Kairi, stop frowning," Riku said loudly, elbowing her knee. She pouted at him as he started tracing circles on her knee. Cripes, Kairi's knees were a ticklish part, and Riku will end up with a knee smashed into his face if continued to do that. She bit back a giggle.
"Hey! Nice one, Riku!" Roxas laughed, observing how Kairi twitched. "How about I try it on you, Naminé?"
A second later, he conceded, rubbing his head where Naminé's book bag had hit him. "Serves you right, Roxie."
"It's Roxas."
Naminé grinned. Kairi rolled her eyes; obviously, they liked each other. Her eyelid twitched violently as Riku traced a finger on a particularly ticklish region of her knee. "Riku, stop doing that," she whispered, not really meaning it.
"Doing what?" he asked innocently, dodging her outstretched arm as she struggled to slap away his hand.
"Alcaia, Dalmasca, pay attention," a male voice suddenly rang through the classroom as a young man, dressed in a black turtleneck and equally black slacks, strode through the door confidently. "Your Lifestream Physics classes have been reshuffled; Physics II and III shall be merged. All who will be called, please go to room 311. The rest, stay." He then proceeded to read names off a class record, and the classroom slowly emptied. Strange. Neither Riku, Roxas, or Naminé was called.
Kairi squinted. Hm. He looked familiar. She turned to Naminé for a clue; but her mouth dropped open.
"Dalmasca, Hikari, Alcaia, get off the floor and onto a seat," the man said sharply, closing his record book with a snap.
He really looked familiar, Kairi thought. She racked her brain for where she had seen him before, and it hit her--it was the guy from the gym: Naminé's neighbor who brought her her gym clothes. No wonder the blonde was shocked. Heck, not only Naminé was shocked, but the whole class in general stared at him in awe. To tell the truth, he was pretty handsome. Okay. Ready to drool over. But Kairi's not a drool-over fangirl--she's been around good-looking boys her entire life.
Although the last time she remembered the guy had his waterfall of hair on the left side of his face. This guy had it on his right. Hm. Whatever; she was never a specifics kind of girl, anyway.
She heard the girls in the room give a collective sigh as the man called attendance; his voice had a certain quietness to it that, oddly, made it more commanding.
Riku raised a hand halfheartedly when his name was called, still staring at the teacher. Roxas, however, had snorted outright when his name was called, and Naminé rigidly raised a hand when her turn came. Kairi, wondering what had gotten into them, just rose her hand like she always did.
Huh. He looked too young to be a Lifestream Physics professor; all the ones who taught the subject were wizened, bespectacled, and funny-accented people. He slid the attendance sheet into a black binder, and the class fell quiet as he surveyed the room.
"You are merged years II and III; this is class 2A, remember that," his voice echoed through the room as he scribbled the section and his own name on the blackboard in neat, precise letters. "I am Zexion Alcaia (at which Riku made a choking noise), and I shall be your Lifestream Physics professor for the rest of this term. And please, don't be so quiet, I know it's not normal for you guys to be this quiet."
The rapt-at-attention atmosphere of the room quickly evaporated into a more relaxed one. Kairi grinned; she knew she was going to like this guy way more than her old professor. She glanced around; smiled were playing around every student's face. Riku, however, was engaged in a hushed conversation with Roxas. Kairi quickly elbowed the Wielder in the ribs as Professor Zexion's eyes flashed in their direction. Too late.
"Alcaia, Hikari, detention."
Roxas, at this point, grinned.
Kairi turned to Naminé, who was seated on her other side. "Is it just me, or does Roxas actually like having to have detention?"
She tried and miserably failed to keep a grin from forming on her pale visage. "He...he got into trouble this morning. He and a friend played a prank that...well, you get what I'm saying, don't you?"
"Okay, professor Zexy," Roxas snickered. Kairi was bewildered. Roxas normally didn't attack teachers like this.
"Hikari, double detention then," the professor paused, and gave a smile of his own. "Tomorrow."
Naminé burst into laughter. Roxas' face fell and he colored indignantly, spluttering. "B-but!"
"You too, Naminé."
Roxas put his head on the table, shoulders heaving in silent laughter. Kairi exchanged looks with Riku, and he shrugged. "We'll wring it out of them at lunch."
"Kairi Dalmasca. Double detention with them," Zexion called out. She gasped in imitation of what Roxas had said earlier.
"Professor!"
"Class, next time, don't imitate them. Listen to me when I am teaching. You two Dalmascas, Alcaia, Hikari, don't forget," he grinned. "I'm still finding the most horrible teacher you have to be on duty tomorrow."
They groaned.
"Okay, let's get started. Physics is not the easiest subject on the planet, but if you understand the basics, you'd understand the complexities. Where did you guys stop last time..."
Kairi sighed. Great. Double detention. Way to go, whatever she did to piss the professor off. Gah.
She settled for listening quietly to his lecture, absentmindedly playing with the small white feather she found stuck in her bag's zipper earlier.
This is going to be a long day.
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"Pfft," Antiform grimaced. That was the fourth time he got his clothes blood-soaked.
Well, at least it wasn't his blood.
He wiped the crimson liquid from his lips; his craving had been satisfied already...now what to do, what to do...? Maybe find another Nobody to kill? Gather more Heartless? Hmm... Roxas wouldn't be coming back for at hours--more fun for him, there was nobody to control Antiform.
Sometime, preferably as soon as possible, he'd have to kill the blonde spiky-haired boy. Even if he was unmerged with Sora, he still had the ability to repress Antiform...that was bad.
Whistling, he walked away, leaving the unconscious number Five in a pool of dark blood.
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Riku's fingers, were, once again, itching to summon his Keyblade and decapitate a certain blue-haired professor. How the hell did that Nobody get a job, and a teaching job here in Destiny Academy, of all the possible places! But this was his Healing Arts class, and weapons were not allowed unless instructed by the professor.
Gah. Everytime he thinks of the word 'professor', Zexion springs to his mind.
What he wouldn't give to be able to duel with him right then and there. But he had promised to keep the reexistence of Organization XIII secret; he had made a pact with Roxas and Naminé (who seemed just as stunned as him when Zexion walked into the classroom) never to tell, for the sake of protecting Kairi. But Riku wondered whether Kairi would care, not after Sora vanished once again into the night. Heck, she'd even side with the Organization if they wanted to finish Sora off.
It was strange, how Kairi had become so bitter so quickly against Sora. Riku supposed you'd have to have your heart broken for that, and he never really had his own heart broken, so he'd never actually understand.
"Why is everyone late today?" he said loudly, yawning and stretching his arms into Elazul's face beside him. The Jumi swatted his hand away tiredly.
"Why do we have to take Healing Arts, anyway?" he muttered darkly.
Riku yawned again. His professor was late...and there goes Zexion popping up in his mind for some reason. He's going to corner Roxas and Naminé later and get out a very good explanation for this.
"Sorry I'm late, I got lost," a female voice said apologetically in a very brisk manner. A twenty-something woman walked in, earning more than a few low appreciative whistles from the back of the class.
Which was promptly answered by no less than five kunais thrown directly into the wall behind each one of the whistlers.
Riku studied her, careful not to get caught. She was of average height for someone of her age, and she had features made her look like, strangely, a priestess of some sort. But judging from how deep the kunais had lodged into the wall, she was anything but that. Dressed in a black longsleeved shirt and black pants, she had long blond hair that was tied neatly into a ponytail at the nape of her neck, and she moved with a certain quick pace. And she had two stray strands of hair that gracefully swayed from the rest; from the right angle, it looked like bug feelers.
Hm.
"I am your new Healing Arts professor, Larxene Kisaragi. I'll be with you until the end of this term," she introduced in a clipped voice, emerald eyes taking the classroom in. "And for those who ask, I am twenty-one years old, and yes, I am the youngest teacher in this school. I fight with kunais and lightning spells, for those who'd like a duel, see me after class. I am also a level seven White Mage, a level short of a sorceress. Questions?"
Okay. The class was in silent awe. The previous professor was a White Mage named Yunalesca, on whom half the male population had a crush on, but seeing Larxene, it's very possible that she'll immediately, and easily replace Professor Yunalesca.
"No questions? None? Let's get started then. Topic's about Intermediate Potion Mixing, and--Axel, I'm fine, go teach your own class," she said exasperatedly, apparently eyeing someone standing outside the door. Sighing, she nodded once and turned back to the class. She held out a hand and her kunais disappeared from the wall and coalesced back into her hand, where they disappeared once again.
"Cripes, she's hot," Elazul whispered as professor Larxene started writing on the blackboard.
Riku wrinkled his forehead. "You already have a girlfriend," he shot back.
"But she's hot all the same, Riku."
He rolled his eyes. Only one girl was hot in his eyes, and she had a certain fire that made her so.
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"Sora? Hey..."
Uh? Sora yawned, and opened his eyes, finding a dishelved Roxas (wearing an even more dishelved uniform) hovering over his face, expression worried. Sora blinked, and Roxas flinched. "What, Roxas?"
A muscle twitched in his Other's jaw, and he looked very much like he was struggling not to roll his eyes.
"What?" he repeated, sitting up...on a bed in the Castle Infirmary (yes, there was such a room, for it was necessary to have a place in which fighting and killing each other was banned). Infirmary? Huh? Why was he here?
Roxas was in the process of slapping his hand to his forehead in exasperation. "He doesn't remember anything..."
A female voice snorted derisively, and Sora peered around the blonde boy. Naminé (actually, she looked quite good in a plaid skirt, yes--and Sora stopped staring when he noticed Roxas was glaring daggers at him) and Larxene(still in black, but in a turtleneck and slacks--what was up with her?) were sitting on an adjacent white bed, their legs dangling over the edge. And in the bed behind them, there lay a very asleep Lexaeus, snoring softly.
Uh.
Lexaeus.
Sora's eyes widened.
Naminé sighed loudly. "Now he remembers."
Larxene got up, and Roxas backed away, sitting in her place beside Naminé (and Sora noticed that Naminé was staring at Roxas, and that he was staring back, and that they were generally staring at each other in a very awkward way--and when they caught Sora grinning at them, they simultaneously gave him the Look). The blonde Nobody boredly checked his well-being, at least, that's what Sora thought she was doing.
"He's fine, he's fine, he's fine," she murmured, picking up his left hand and inspecting it. She sighed. "Clean your nails--they're still a bit bloody."
"Huh?"
"You turned Antiform and attacked Lexaeus," she recited boredly, now taking to inspecting his still-unhealed burnt arm. "Good thing Saïx was stomping around--he found Lex before he bled out to death. So anyway, he told the Superior, and then he called us, well, since I chucked my cellphone at Axel, Zexion was the one who told me (and she blushed at this slightly), and I pulled Roxas out of class--"
Sora stared at her. "You teach?"
She grimaced. "Acad of Destiny...so anyway, Superior summoned us and made me treat Lex there--"
"You heal?"
"Cripes...I'm a level seven White Mage, I mean, my Other is, I mean, just don't ask."
Sora nodded, partly out of fear, and partly out of amusement.
"So Roxas had to find you and take you down--"
The blonde grinned sheepishly, twiddling his thumbs innocently as he stared at his hands.
"Take me down? And how did he do that...?"
"Mostly summoned Slayers and let them bonk you on the head. Don't worry, you didn't bleed out very badly," Larxene snickered. Sora shot his Other a glare. "I still don't get why Naminé had to come..." she glanced over her shoulder, dropping his arm (now nicely gauzed once more) and glancing over her shoulder. "You got a problem with long distances between you and Roxas or something?" she addressed the blonde girl.
Naminé pouted. "No fair...besides, I had a pop quiz in Bio and I didn't have time to study, thanks to someone who made me stay up all night just to teach him Physics."
Roxas rolled his eyes.
"Anyway again," Larxene stared at him seriously. "You're fine. You've reverted completely from Antiform."
Sora winced, remembering the bloodthirst that pushed him to snap.
"The Nobody Black Market sells blood, if that's what you're thinking," she said offhandedly, smoothing his bedcovers. "It might help in satisfying the craving. Down in Fragment Crossing, just beside the armor shop. Knock thrice, then once."
His Other gasped. "How'd you know that, Larx?"
"Don't ask."
Sora snickered as Roxas instantly shut his mouth.
A portal sprung up at the foot of his bed, revealing Zexion, clad in the same black as Larxene. Huh? Was he teaching or something? And more importantly, was he blushing right now...? Weird.
"Meeting," he said shortly. "You too, Naminé. School's taken care of." He turned one blue-violet eye on Sora. "You okay now?"
Hm. As far as Sora had heard, Zexion wasn't the type to ask something like that. Heck, Zexion wasn't the type who spoke at all. Maybe it was because of the shard of heart? Or maybe it was because Larxene was staring at him?
His head hurt, but on the contrary, he answered, "Fine."
"Let's go," he said to the room in general, and in two swift steps, had taken a furiously blushing Larxene's hand in his.
Uh?
Sora stared, Roxas snorted, Naminé giggled, Larxene blushed, and Zexion huffed as the four of them disappeared into the Corridors.
He blinked rapidly; as soon as Roxas had left, a faint craving for blood surfaced. It was time to find this Black Market, and see if it was any good. He thought it was disgusting to drink blood...but hey! It was better than killing someone. A small sacrifice on his part.
Sacrifice, always sacrifice, you idiot.
He growled, hate and anger flooding back. He wordlessly opened the Corridors and sprinted in, not noticing that he didn't need to concentrate as he did so.
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"donna toki datte
zutto futari de
donna to--"
Flip. Swish. Crack.Those were the sounds of a very irritated King answering his personal cellphone (into which he programmed a ringtone he'd just downloaded--sounded so very nice, yes?).
"King Mickey...we have a problem."
"What?"
"Forgive me if I have to be so...childish, but...we have a really, really BIG problem--"
Mickey leant back, and listened. And as soon as Xemnas was finished, he knew that 'really BIG' was something of an understatement.
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It rained.
Heck, it always rained here--puddles never seemed to disappear in the paved streets, reflecting the neon lights of a nonexistent shop. The Black Market was something to see here--and heck, they really did sell blood. And in various flavors too...Weird. He bought three cases of the paopu tetra paks; better to stick to something familiar. Honestly...it tasted refreshing.
Gah.
He discovered that he was something of a legend here in the World That Never Was (and he discovered with a much greater shock that he could now actually converse with Nobodies and Heartless alike--it shouldn't have surprised him, since he was half of both. He suspected, however, that he could've carried a decent conversation with them before if he only listened). Nobodies doing their trade stopped and stared at him as he went into the Black Market (such a fitting name)-- and Heartless gaped at him. Wooh. He was like the head honcho there.
He had dealt with a Gambler named Marty--who stammered everytime Sora talked to him. Hmm. He set the now-empty tetra pack of paopu-flavored blood (Sora didn't have the stomach to ask what blood it was, but it suspiciously tasted like--uhm. Uh.) beside him and yawned.
It rained, it poured, and the sky never darkened, since it was already dark with nothingness.
"That sounds wrong," Sora whispered to himself, leaning back onto the bench. Darkness was something...nothing was...nothing. Hah. Heck weird. Here he was, sitting on a bench, getting drenched in the rain, pondering his existence. Of course, there was other more productive things to do, like try killing the Organization, or try killing the King, or try and see how many Darksides he could summon, or so many other things.
He looked up into the stormy sky, grey clouds roiling across inky blackness, and felt raindrops pelting his face mercilessly. He supposed it felt cold, he knew it felt cold, but he had lost the ability to distinguish between temperatures this morning.
That's the fate of a Heartless, buddyboy. Ain't it quaint? You'll be able to survive in the most extreme of--wait. You can't survive, you're already DEAD!
Sora, for the first time, laughed with his Antiform.
"Sora?"
He tore his eyes from the heavens and focused on the vision of white before him. Sheltered below a pure white umbrella, a pale Naminé stood beside his bench, white dress and white sandals unsmeared by water and mud.
His eyes narrowed. "Jeez, Naminé, you seriously should get something not in white."
She laughed nervously. "Uhm...aren't you going back to the Castle?"
"What?" he asked mildly. "Someone (it left a bitter taste in his throat--no longer were they Nobodies, but Somebodies, all on account of his sacrifice) looking for me up there?"
"N-no... but Sora, you're soaking wet! At least you should borrow one of Roxas' coats if you want to go out in the rain."
He put as much contempt as he could fit into one syllable. "No."
Borrowing a coat once again was like affirming that he was a Nobody, that he had lost all emotion save for pain (and he'd very dearly like to feel physical pain, but that feeling had been denied to him already), sorrow, and hatred, that he could never live his life (at this Antiform snorted, buddyboy you're already dead, what's there to live?) back in his home, that he'll never touch his Princess again. He'll never spar with Riku again, for most likely his best friend would kill him on sight. He'll never go to school, since the people there would probably kill him too (thus the set-up of lessons with Vexen--cripes, the guy was a creepy one).
"But--aren't you cold? You'll get sick!" She pressed on, her white fingers clutching the white handle of her umbrella harder.
Sora stared at her straight in the eyes, and she flinched. "I'm not cold. I can't feel how warm or cold it is, Naminé. I lost that when I woke up today."
"Oh." The blonde stared at the ground, shuffling her pale white feet, toeing a stray puddle of water in front of her.
"And I won't mind getting sick...I supposed I'll be happy, at least I can still feel something--"
True, true, full Nobodies were just like any other mortal--they could feel physical sensation, get scalded by coffee, get brain-frozen by ice cream...only difference was that they had no emotions of their own; they could only remember what they were feeling.
Sora? He was a whole other matter. For one, he had learnt that Nobody and Heartless was not a good combination. Given the chance, he'd give up all his emotions just to be a full Nobody instead of a half one attached to a Heartless. But no matter how fervent the wish was, no dice.
You're stuck with me, buddyboy.
He could feel emotional pain, sadness, and anger because that was all Heartless felt, actually. Heartless also had no physical distinguishers--meaning all Sora felt was a numbness that didn't even qualify as a feeling; he proved that when Axel had shot a Firaga at him and he didn't feel any warmth at all. Or when Vexen accidentally froze part of his Heartless arm-- Sora thought a something had broken judging from the way his bone snapped with an audible sound, but that was all. At least Vexen had healed it immediately, Sora didn't spend his time wondering whether his arm was broken or not.
In exchange, darkness gave him heightened senses. Add that to his being a Keyblade Master, and the Key to Kingdom Hearts--you get a Heartless and a Nobody feared above all others, even Xemnas (well, maybe slightly for the Nobodies, but whatever--Sora had an army of Heartless all waiting for him to follow his command). One unspoken word, and a Darkside would rise before him.
This summoning business was fun. Ha.
And once he had been the one to exterminate these creatures. But now...he sympathized (a false feeling...he supposed it would go away in time) with them, those without hearts and doomed to walk the earth searching for something to fill their emptiness.
"Well, at some point," Sora looked up, Naminé had decided to talk again, "you have to stop your angsting streak...Lexaeus should be up and cooking soon enough (thus bringing back the memory of attacking the hulking Nobody--what? Sora gladly gve credit to Antiform for that one), and it's, I think, Salad Night..."
"I guess..." At least he had his senses to taste and everything. "Now go away, Naminé."
Her cerulean eyes widened. "What?" she asked in a hurt voice.
Sora rolled his eyes (well, only one, you couldn't exactly roll a pure yellow eye, could you?). "Didn't you hear me? Go away and leave me alone, witch."
She was definitely hurt by that one, and Sora enjoyed it...even though the small sliver of light remaining in his ruined soul said he shouldn't be.
Enjoy! Enjoy! Pain! Nobody's here to control me anyway, Antiform chuckled slyly. Sora had a vague idea of who that Nobody was...that's another one to add to his hitlist.
Naminé blinked painfully and took a step back. "You need help, Sora," she said in a clear voice.
"I've told you once, and I'm telling you again. I. Don't. Need. Your. Help." He said offhandedly, examining his nails, wondering whether he should sharpen them more. "Leave me alone, witch," he repeated.
"I have a name, you know," she snapped, a tear falling down her white cheek.
"I know, witch," he laughed, lacing his fingers behind his head.
Naminé paused. "Sora...you've changed."
Sora laughed even louder. "We've got a bright one here! Go to the top of the class, Nam!"
"You don't have to be like this, Sora. We can help you," she asked pleadingly. "We can help you cope; and we'll find a way to bring you back, we'll find a way, they're all helping--"
"You can't."
"Sora--"
"Sora's dead--stop asking for him," he growled. Naminé recoiled.
"He was shattered along with his heart one all Hallow's eve ago--He died back then. He's not coming back, you're not going to get back Mr. Happy Go Lucky just like that." He snapped his fingers for emphasis.
"Then who am I talking to now?"
"A fallen Keyblade Master," he said bitterly. "Betrayed by someone whom he placed his trust in, and paid for it with his existence and his heart. A freak--a half Heartless, half Nobody, a danger to everyone around him. One who once protected the realm of light, but is now shunned by it. A Wielder who loved and lost..." Sora trailed off, emotional pain clogging his throat. He scrubbed away the bloody tear his Heartless eye wept.
"We can help you if you'd just let us," she said firmly.
"No."
No freakin' way. What are you, some poor kid to be pitied on?
"I don't need your pity or mercy, Naminé. Tell the others that too."
Her face fell. "I just might give up..."
"Good for you."
She heaved a sigh. "...come up soon."
"Leave now, witch."
Naminé gave him a weak smile before turning on her heels and walking away. Sora watched impassively as her white umbrella faded from sight.
"I don't need anyone---no-one could understand," he whispered, his words drowned by the pounding of the rain.
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A/N: Angst is such a nice thing to write about. Anyway...sorry again for the delay...
No review replies...I have a class in TEN MINUTES. Wooh.
As I said...I'm sad...why haven't you been reviewing, guys? WHY? -cries- If you don't review, I won't have my inspiration to write, and then...well, you know, you won't have the next chapter to read...:'c.
Moving on... From this chapter on, no quotes, okay? Aside from the fact that I still haven't typed the next chapter yet, having a preview quote might spoil the next chapter...hahah.
Ja ne!