The Sixth Verse
You've done your calculations, and figure out you left Tifa and Cloud over sixty years ago. You'd only been off about ten years. As you make your way through the streets, you wonder if Seventh Heaven is still even there. You wonder how Cloud and Tifa are doing, and you wonder about the rest of the AVALANCHE members. As you near the building, you see it's gotten larger. It's been connected to the building behind it. You push onwards, glancing up at the door. There's a sign saying 'closed' on the front, so you knock. After a few minutes, you hear light footsteps, and the door squeaks open slightly. Through the small crack, you see a blue eye gaze up at you.
"Closed." The little girl squeaks.
"I'm here to see Tifa." You reply.
She frowns, then the door shuts and you hear her cry 'Mummy!'. A few seconds later the door opens fully, revealing a woman. She looks like Tifa, but she's not. She's got brown hair, but her face is different. She narrows her eyes.
"Who are you? What do you want?"
You frown, insulted. "I came to visit Tifa."
"Well, I'm right hear, so state your business...or unless you didn't see, we're closed." She places her hands on her hips.
"You're not Tifa."
"Sir, I think I know who I am...and I am Tifa."
"I think not."
The woman narrows her eyes again.
"What's going on here?" An old voice interrupts.
An old lady steps up, and narrows her eyes at you, much in the same fashion of the younger.
"He says he's here to see Tifa." The younger woman states, rolling her eyes.
The older regards you for a moment.
"I'm an old friend."
"I've never seen you before in my life!" The younger screeches.
"I'm sorry, but you can't be an 'old' friend...you don't look a day over twenty-two." The older replies.
You sigh, you're getting frustrated and you don't have time to bicker with these ignorant women.
"Listen...if you won't let me see Tifa...at least let me see Cloud...he'll set you straight."
You watch as each of their mouths drop open in shock and horror.
"You...you..." The younger starts.
The little girl gasps.
"Monster! Evil! Vile being!" The old lady screeches at you.
She lifts her cane in a threatening manner. You hold your hands up to prevent abuse as they all yell at you for being such a fowl creature, and that you should die and rot and burn in hell. You're getting very angry, still confused on why these women are attacking you for no apparent reason, when another voice breaks the chaos.
"Quiet! Be quiet!"
The three silence themselves immediately, the old lady putting down her cane. Your gaze lifts, and you see an even older lady standing there. She's glaring at all of you, including the women.
"Did you want to wake Mother?"
They each shake their heads in shame no.
She sighs, "Who are you? What do you want?"
"I'm Shale..."
"Shale?!" They all gasp.
You sigh, annoyed with their interruption, "I'm an old friend of Tifa's."
The women look like they're about to attack again, the oldest holds her hand up in silence. She regards you with her eyes. They've been dulled over the years it seems, and her hair is in a very long braid and pure white. She's got deep wrinkles, and she's still glaring, but there's something in her eyes.
You think you know her.
"Alright then...follow me." She states, turning on foot.
"But...but Mother Mar-
"Silence!" She squawks, not even turning around.
"He asked about Grandpa...though..." The little girl states.
The old lady ignores them all, though, and leads you up stairs you know. Memories flood back to you, and you try to fight them back. It'd make matters even worse if you broke down in front of all these crazy women. The old woman leads you down a familiar hall, to Cloud's room. She opens the door a bit, and looks up at you.
"Hmm."
And then she turns and walks away.
You watch her for a moment, before entering the room slowly. It's dark. The curtains have been pulled shut, and there's someone on the bed. You walk slowly over, almost afraid to look. You swallow, your eyes setting on the face of an old lady, her white hair spanning out behind her in a fan. She opens her eyes, and you know her.
"Ti...fa...?" You squeak.
You had forgotten...you didn't age, you'd thought everything would still be the same. You forgot she aged, that she'd get old. She smiles, her wrinkles bending to match the curve of her mouth. Her eyes though, are the exact same color, and while they're full of love, they've lost the glint they once had.
"Shale?" She asks, almost afraid.
You realize you're afraid too, as you reach out and clasp her withered hand. She smiles, small tears pricking the corner of her eyes.
"So this is why...you left?"
You nod, swallowing. You can see now the light going out of her eyes.
"You came back...so...you...remem...bered?"
You nod your head, biting back tears. She's dying right in front of you, and there's nothing you can do. You waited to late. You wanted to sit there and tell her your life story, want to tell her why you left, who you were, what you did, why you became Loz, and how you hated everything you were, until she saved you. Instead, all you can say is:
"I'm married, and I have a child."
A grin splits her old face, "Wonderful..."
"I had to leave them though."
"...'s okay..." She pats your hand, and you swallow. "We still...your child...wife...Cloud 'nd me...we all...love you..."
How can you sum up everything she's meant to you? How can you make her passing any easier? How can you conclude her life? What can you possibly do as you lose someone you loved with your whole heart...yet again? What do you say to them? How do you say it's okay if you need your rest now...it's okay for you to leave...it's okay for you to die...how do you give permission? How do you end a life that doesn't deserve to end? How do you say goodbye to someone who you haven't even said hello to yet? How do you do that? How do you let go?
Mother's here, so don't be lonely,
My dearest, my child, my angel, my only.
You sing, and find you did remember after all. She smiles as you sing through the first three verses, a bit of a frown forms around the forth, but by the end of the song, she's smiling again, her eyes closed peacefully. But you realize that's all she's doing, smiling. No longer does her tears flow, no longer does her chest rise and fall in shaky breaths, instead it sits still...as still as death, because that's where she is now, and that now she's passed. You feel guilty, because of all the people who should've been with her in her last moment, you didn't deserve to be the one. It should've been her family, one of her children, Cid, Barret, Vincent, Yuffie...it should've been Cloud. It should've been anyone else but you. You didn't deserve to hear her last words, they did. And you cry. You can't remember the last time you cried. You didn't even cry when you left Sera and Tifannie. You're awful for not crying, but here...as you lose your mother, you'll cry. You burst into tears, clinging on to her hand that no longer grips back, pressing it into your forehead, willing her back to life for just a second, just so you can gaze into her eyes again and say you're sorry. You just want that, to be forgiven. Not just for leaving, but for hurting her when you were Loz, for leaving your real mother, for letting go of your memories, and not killing Kadaj when you had the chance. You're so sorry for so many things, that you'd never have enough time in the world to apologize for it all. You gasp for air, burying your face in her blankets and cry away all that you can, until you can cry no more, and you are left a sniffling, pathetic lump of flesh, clinging to the last person you wished to hurt. There was so much left unsaid, and you curse yourself for arriving too late, for not spilling out everything. You curse yourself and you do not hear the door squeak open.
"She never once hated you." A voice cracks the air.
You look up, glaring. It's the oldest of the ladies, her eyes regarding you with pity. You can't help but think if those women hadn't of bickered with you, you would've had more time with Tifa.
"She forgave you for leaving, as much damage as it did on her heart though." The woman states, hobbling over.
"I always knew it was you though...I could always see him in you, and it frightened me at first. But he dimmed after a while."
"You could always...see who?" You choke, your eyes back on the bed.
"The man from the church...that took me, and hurt Tifa. I can barely see him now."
You gasp, looking up. "Marlene?"
She grins, a sad grin, "In the flesh."
"But...you, you're..."
"Old? Yes...time does that for the rest of us. You'll have to forgive the others...the woman's name is Tifa...she's Tifa's granddaughter. The other old woman is Old Tifa's daughter, Aerith...and the youngest was Abagail...young Tifa's daughter." She sighs here. "Seems I'm the Old Mother of the house now...that's depressing."
You gape at her, "Don't you care that she just died?"
Her eyes soften, "Of course, Shale...it's just...we expected her to be gone by now."
"What?" You ask coolly.
"You need to understand...Tifa only stayed in good health to attend the funeral...and that was four days ago."
"Who's funeral?" You choke.
"...Cloud's..." Marlene's voice goes soft.
"Cloud?" You whisper.
She nods her head, "I guess she was waiting to see you again...you did say you would come back...if it'd been her who'd gone first, Cloud would've followed in seconds...but you made her wait..." She grins at you, "He'll be peeved when you die."
You gape at her, surprised at her easiness to speak of death. "If I ever die."
"Ha! You aren't as ageless as you think...you've aged a few years...I can tell...you look about twenty-three now...last I saw of you, you looked seventeen-eighteen years old..."
"I've aged?"
"A bit..."
"That means..."
"You still have a chance to go to the promised land." Marlene sighs.
You're silent for a moment, but you have to ask. "And of everyone else?"
"Cid passed about twenty years back from lung cancer...Shera followed ten years later from old age. Nanaki is still roaming Cosmo Canyon...and Yuffie...Yuffie passed about six years back from a wasting disease...and my father...he died about thirty years back...an accident out on the oil fields...Vincent still wanders in every now and then...He was here for Cloud's funeral...don't know if he'll be here for Tifa's, though..."
"Reeve?"
"Assassinated when he brought about the change..."
"Change?"
"Been out of touch? Yeah...there was a big civil war about forty years back...between Rufus and Reeve...Reeve ultimately won...went about for a time, really fixing everything up...but then...he was assassinated...people would've suspected Rufus...but he was killed too...the Turks died trying to save the both of them...Reeve and Rufus...they weren't exactly friends...but they were decent with each other...seems someone just wanted ShinRa gone for good...no one still knows who did it."
"I can't...have missed that much..."
"You did...but you weren't forgotten. Come with me."
Marlene stands, and you follow. She leads you out to the building now connected to Seventh Heaven. You see now it's retained it's own entrance, and when you walk up to it, there's a bronze plaque beside the door. It reads:
"The Strife Family Adoption Home
In Honor of Shale Strife, the Lost Child."
You swallow, fighting tears again.
"It was Tifa's idea for the home...Cloud's for the dedication...they had many more children than your average couple...only one by birth though, Aerith."
"And what of you?"
"Denzel and I married...he's out doing errands right now. We've got a few of our own...Zack and Shale..twin brothers."
"How...did I make such an impact? I was only here for two years."
"You cared for us...you were a lost child...and we found you...kind of like how you lost your lullaby and found it again. And you were our big brother."
You smile. "Would you call me your older brother or your younger?"
She slaps you across the back of the head, "You're much older than I..."
You sigh, turning from the adoption home.
"Where will you go?"
"I don't know...I can't stay here...or anywhere...I don't want to get attached...I think, I think I'll find Vincent...find out some stuff from him...He seems to know everything...I want to know why I ended up this way."
She nods her head once, and then walks over and kisses your cheek.
"What was that for?"
"Cause I don't think I'll see you again until you make it to the promised land...I'll tell Denzel you stopped in."
"But Tifa's funeral..."
"Shale..."
"Never mind...I'd just have to let go again." You turn walking away.
You don't know why you ended up in the Midgar ruins, standing in that church where you tried to kill Tifa so long ago. You contemplate drowning yourself, but hear footsteps behind you.
"Yazoo?" You ask.
He stops, his eyes narrowing, "Who are you?"
He hasn't changed much, still slender, and his hair is still long and silver, but his eyes are a deep brown.
"You knew me as Loz..."
"No kidding...so it is you...I was wondering where your big butt had ended up...and lo, it's right here where it all began."
You can't reply. He hasn't changed much.
"So, who are you now?"
"Shale."
"Shale? Well, Shale, I'm Kal. Nice to meet you."
"That was who you were before?"
"Unfortunately...I assume you fixed your life and completed it."
"If I did, I wouldn't still be alive, I think."
"Point."
"So you haven't aged either...have you been mortally injured?"
He laughs, you don't ever remember him laughing as Yazoo, just grinning maniacally.
"I've tried to kill myself eight times in the past hour."
"What?"
"I make it a goal to try and kill myself twenty times a day...for some reason I really wanted to die today...and now I see why..."
"So we can't die." You say, more to yourself than him.
"You mean you never tried to kill yourself?" He asks.
You shake your head no. "It's my punishment."
"Hmm...who'd thought you'd end up valiant."
"So where've you been?"
"Everywhere."
"Same here...I got married, had a child."
"Really? I've had women, but none I'd marry...there are advantageous to not aging."
"You're sick."
"Depends on how you look at it."
"There's only one way to look at it."
"So where will you head from here?" he asks.
"I"m going to try and find Vincent...see if he knows a way to die."
"Don't you think he'd have done this to himself if he had a way?"
You shrug, "Better than staying here."
"Hmm...alright then...I'll see you around."
He walked out of the church, and out of your life. In the future, he'd walk in and out of your life many times. You witnessed how he changed over the years, what changed him into the man he was when you saw him for the last time. You find it strange you once regarded this man as your brother. You find Vincent and speak with him, seeing his changes now he has none of his friends left. You can tell he wants to die just as bad as you. You however, have hope. At least you're aging.
Breathe my child, it's all okay.
Don't cry anymore, my love today.
Love is life, and life is love,
Fly away my beautiful dove.
In your dreams, sleep peacefully
Tomorrow will be better, just believe.
So breathe my child, it's all okay,
Don't cry anymore my love today.
I'm here for now, this moment I say,
I'm here for good, in your heart I'll stay.
And feel the love my angel, today,
Just open your heart up and pray.
Mother's here, so don't be lonely,
My dearest, my angel, my child, my only.
A/N: HOLY CRAP...I realized just now I completely, most utterly forgot to put in something in the last chapter...it was something small...but when Shale left Tifannie...I was suppose to put how she was sleeping with 'Sophie'...Sera's doll (that was the whole reason I gave it a name). CRAP! Yeah, you guys use your imaginations...and just stick that in yourself. There's going to be one last thing...I really hope you guys have liked this. Thanks for all the reviews!