Aw… you guys are great. I'm ALIVE! For some reason, I managed to get writer's block on every. single. one. of my stories. But I'm back, and I hope you keep reading!
8
J.D. and Michael stood outside the apartment. Before J.D. even reached out his hand to turn the knob, Michael grabbed it.
"Are they as bad as I'm assuming they are?"
"That depends… how bad are you assuming?"
"I'm assuming they're pretty bad."
"That's a good assumption." J.D. turned the doorknob with his other hand and let Michael go in ahead of him.
I just like saying the word 'assumption' cause it's got the word 'ass' in it. Heh, heh.
"Nice place." Michael nodded around until his eyes fell on the dog. "I don't even want to know." He waved his hands at it and went to look around somewhere else.
"But…" J.D. started.
"No!"
"But he's…"
"NO!" Michael laughed and turned back in J.D.'s direction. "I don't want to know. Can we find the pants please?"
"Sure." J.D. wandered into his own room and grabbed the damaged pants… but stopped and sat on his bed. He couldn't help but think that everything he was doing was a mistake. But not for long when he heard Michael yelp. Rushing out with the ruined pants, he saw Michael practically standing on the chair.
"What's the matter?" J.D. threw the pants on the couch before looking around suspiciously.
"I had to use your bathroom and there was giant spider in the bathtub!" he wailed. J.D. looked to the bathroom before turning back to Michael and raising an eyebrow.
I've seen this in a movie somewhere… what movie was it! Damn!
"Oh please…" J.D. scoffed as best he could. "… it can't be that big."
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J.D. stood on the same chair as Michael and looked wildly around.
"Do you think it saw me? Is it going to come out here?"
"I don't know… maybe it didn't see you."
"I guess we'll just let it be, then. Maybe it'll leave us alone."
"But J.D. …"
"What?"
"I really have to go to the bathroom."
When a good doctor, as myself, is put in such a situation, it's best to use our bravery to our best use.
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"Pee faster!" J.D. yelled as he held a broom over the tub, his back to Michael as he stood in front of the toilet.
"I can't with you yelling at me like that!" the stream finally stopped and J.D. heard him pulling up his scrub pants. "Maybe if you whack it a couple times, you'll kill it." Michael inched to the door.
"Good idea." J.D. slammed the broom into the tub a few times before lifting it up to look inside. He made a face and Michael walked over to see what happened.
"Ew." They both said at the same time.
Walking out, J.D. left the broom in the tub and locked the door behind them, just to be sure. Striding over to the couch, he picked up the folded pants and frowned before facing Michael.
"I'm almost afraid to look." Michael swallowed hard and reached out to touch them, but did not take them in his hands.
"How about this? On the count of three I'll open the pants, okay?" J.D. suggested but was only met with Michael attempting to hold in laughter. He couldn't hold it much longer and burst into a fit of giggles. J.D. was very confused and he wrinkled his nose slightly, waiting for an explanation.
"What… what you said… just…" Michael noticed the perplexed face of J.D. and straightened, clearing his throat. "Nevermind. Go ahead, count away."
"Alright. One. Two." J.D. paused and swallowed. "Three." He said meekly, shaking the pants out to full length. J.D. opened his eyes only to see Michael's were shut. "Come on, Michael. Look at it." J.D. watched Michael open one eye and then the other. His jaw dropped and a hand went to his face.
"What have you done?" he whispered carefully.
"I'm sorry." Was all J.D. could offer, his cheeks reddening in embarrassment.
"Yeah, well not much either of us can do now, right?" Michael tried to laugh, but nothing came out but a shuddered sigh. He silently begged himself not to cry, not in front of J.D., not again…
Come on J.D.! Think, think! There's got to be something you can do!
"We can buy new ones!" J.D. tossed the jeans on the couch and held his arms out in a 'ta-da!' sort of pose. Michael instead watched the jeans fall and didn't notice the J.D.'s 'aren't you proud of me face?'. Finally looking up, he couldn't help but smile.
"You try too hard." Michael laughed as J.D.'s shoulder's sagged and he frowned slowly, giving the appearance of deflating like an animal shaped balloon.
Do I? I haven't notice. Damn! I'll have to work on that. Then I'd have to…
His thoughts were interrupted by Michael grabbing his arm calmly, a smile of amusement dancing around his eyes. "And you think too much."
"And… and… and you're a crybaby!" J.D. retorted like a two-year old. Michael shook his head.
"I know, it's horrible. And to think, when I was a baby, I didn't cry one bit."
"Well… my mom told me she had to stuff cotton balls in my mouth to shut me up. Heh, heh, heh." He shrugged at Michael's look of concern. "She might have been exaggerating a little. I can't remember."
"You were saying… buy new ones? Where?"
"I dunno. A clothing store?"
"Ha ha." Michael headed to the door, grabbing his and J.D.'s coat. "We'd better get going if we want to find these jeans. Maybe we should take the… ruined… ones to… you know… compare."
Oh boy! Shopping!
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"Excuse me?" Michael cautiously approached a very blonde woman standing behind a long grey counter in the clothing store. She looked up from filing her nails and raised her pencil eyebrows. She jutted out her lower jaw and frowned.
"What?"
"Oh… um… I was wondering if you had these specific type of jeans." Michael was careful only to show her the label, avoiding the embarrassing stains and tears. The blonde only raised one eyebrow and stared down, her nose wrinkling. She snapped her gum.
"Sure." She paused and sighed, finally pointing a pink painted fake nail to the back of the store. "They're over there."
"Thanks." Michael felt the urge to jump behind the counter and slap her. Instead, he headed back towards J.D. "Well… that was vague. All I know… is they're back there." And he pointed in the same direction the Barbie wannabe had pointed. The two traipsed down the reflective tiles to the back of the store, a messy assortment of brand name jeans cluttering the shelves.
"This is going to take awhile." J.D. pouted and quickly scanning the piles, wishing he had x-ray vision like Superman. J.D. looked up from the piles when he heard Michael laugh. "What? Find something?"
"I just… you're cute when you pout. Cuter, anyway." Michael managed to blush. J.D. couldn't help but blush in return, which wasn't something he did very often. But then again, it wasn't very often that anyone called him cute and meant it. "But yeah…" Michael looked excited and shoved a pair of jeans in J.D.'s face. "I think we may have found our match!"
Hallelujah, life loves me!
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Back at J.D.'s place the two men stared at the separate pairs of jeans in disappointment. As it turned out, in their excitement and rush, neither of them had realized that the new pair of jeans they found was, in fact, a size too small.
"Can't you say they shrunk in the wash?" J.D. suggested with a smile, which disappeared when Michael looked up glaring.
"He told me not to wash them. If he finds out I did he'll think something's going on."
"He sounds a little…" J.D. tried to think of a way to finish the sentence without offending the trembling man standing next to him.
"Jealous? Controlling?" Michael offered.
"Sure."
They were about to, well, J.D. wasn't exactly sure what they were exactly about to do, but it was interrupted by the phone ringing so loud it almost fell off the table. Choosing to ignore it, J.D. returned his attention to the pants and sighed, his moment ruined. He knew the phone call would be someone from work, probably Carla or, even worse, Dr. Cox himself, and he didn't have an explanation to use as a cover-up for the real reason for ditching. His musings were interrupted once again by the ringing of a cell phone he didn't even know Michael had.
"Sorry." Michael whispered as if the person on the other line could hear him. Flipping the phone open he physically cringed and J.D. guessed that it must be his anonymous boyfriend. "Good… to hear you too." Michael politely smiled and paused to listen. "How many more days! Four? But you said…" he sighed heavily and paused once again. "Alright, fine. No, really, I'm fine. I'm at work. No, work! Prove it? Are you kidding. Fine, here's one of the doctors." And Michael handed to phone to J.D.
I've never been good at any type of phone talking. When Turk always made pranks calls I always gave it away by yelling some random comment and laughing nervously.
"What do I do?" J.D. took the phone and whispered. Michael just shrugged. Putting the phone up to his ear at last, he cleared his throat slowly. "Zombies… eat your brains for afternoon tea! Heh, heh, heh…" J.D. did exactly what he didn't want to do and immediately felt the phone ripped from his hand.
"No, sorry…" Michael looked like he was barely able to contain his laughter. "… one of our psyche patients got a hold of it, they're pretty sneaky. Here's the real doctor." Michael held the phone out to J.D. again and gave a "be serious this time" look. Snatching the phone, J.D. put on his best macho face and cleared his throat.
"This is Dr. Acula speaking what can I do for you?" J.D. listened a moment and made a cross face. "It is not a stupid name! My mother loved me very much!" J.D. quickly hung up and crossed his arms. "Well, I'm definitely not inviting him to my movie premier."
"You just hung up. On my boyfriend." Michael appeared stunned.
"Was that a… bad thing?" J.D. let his arms get a little limp hoping he hadn't made his new "friend" upset.
"Well, let's just say you're a very brave soul." Michael paused to take a look at the jeans laying on the counter. "Let's get to work."
"Right-o."
Maybe everything was going to work out after all.
"Do you have any bleach?" Michael asked after attempting to fray the edge of one of the pockets.
"No."
"Damn. That's going to be a problem."
I really have to learn how to keep my big mind closed.
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Sorry that was short. Promise the next one will be longer and arrive much sooner!