A/N: Sheesh. You guys!
:x
The epilogue. With a twist. So it's not quite an epilogue. Rawr.
Kudos to Keybladem and StarryMelody. You people actually figured it out. Yay.
If you guys want to find out more about Arlene and Ienzo's relationship, a history fic, Look Not Back, has been uploaded. Eheh.
I was tempted not to actually write fanfiction for some time until I beat FFXII, but...well... -sigh- term starts soon, and I won't be able to play so much anymore. So I'm taking my own sweet time writing fanfics instead.
Warning: Extremely long chapter, and some STABBING. Yay. WHO HAS EVER HEARD OF AN EPILOGUE WITH STABBING?
I think I'm going insane. Either that, or because I wrote this chapter as soon as I woke up.
Disclaimer: Seriously. If you still think I own Kingdom Hearts, you need to be in a mental asylum.
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Always On My Mind
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R e s t o r e / S a c r i f i c e
-motto aishtemasu-
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"Sooo... over at my place?" Riku cajoled, peering over his salad at Kairi, his aquamarine eyes crinkling with amusement.
"Sure," she shrugged, continuing to pick through her own leafy greens as she tried to coax out all the nasty onions hiding amongst the lettuce. Kairi was not an onion girl, thank you very much.
She remembered Naminé hated onions with a passion that rivaled her own.
Kairi sighed deeply, going unnoticed by her friends, except for Riku. It had almost been four months since he and her Nobody faded away. She still didn't have the courage to say his name out loud, after all this time. People had told her to move on, but she couldn't--not when she knew Sora was somewhere inside the blonde bedheaded boy sitting next to her, poking at a crouton.
Roxas had dealt with it his own way--being his scowling Number Thirteen self half the time, and being his normal Roxas self the other. Axel had told her that it was a bad thing, for Roxas and surliness did not mix well--the blonde tended to adopt his 'ruthless-killer' façade whenever that happened. The happy-Roxas issue reminded her, disturbingly enough, of Sora's bipolarity.
Of course, not that the entire student population would mind. He was something of a cult figure now, anyway, now that the school knew that he was truly number Thirteen of the Organization. Some people avoided him like the plague, while some (like those fangirls sitting behind them) followed him wherever he went, hoping to catch a glimpse of another Keyblade Master in action.
Keyblade Master...
"Kai, you eat the salad, not toss it around," Selphie reminded her. She looked up into the concerned jade-green eyes of her close friend, and bit her lip.
Really. It was unfair for them. She and Roxas always brought a gloomy (and in the blonde spiky-haired boy's face, when he was in emotionless-mode, killer) atmosphere around them, like a dark and foreboding cloud was floating constantly over their heads.
"Oh," she pursed her lips, and shot Selphie a smile. "I was taking out the onions."
The brunette stared at her, and shrugged resignedly, starting to talk to Yuna once more.
Kairi herself had been the one to break the news to Destiny Academy. She had shadowed the true details of the story, saying that Sora and Naminé had died fighting the Heartless that had orchestrated the Destiny Islands and the Disney attack. Well...it was partly true. Now Sora was truly a hero; one who had saved the Worlds thrice now. Sadly, the third time, he saved the Worlds from himself.
His and Naminé's 'memorial service' drew one of the largest crowds Disney Castle had ever drawn. Kairi herself had been the one to insist that Sora's gravestone (under which was an empty casket) be in Disney Castle. She wanted the King to remember every single day what he had done.
King Mickey had voluntarily left his throne for a few months of 'contemplation', but in reality, his own Court was investigating what exactly had gone wrong and why the monarch had allowed it to happen. Goofy and Donald, together with Queen Minnie, headed the business of being Overseer of the Worlds until his Majesty was...fit to take the throne back. If Kairi was given the choice, she'd rather see the mouse suffer the same fate as Sora. But even that wouldn't be enough...
Naminé being a Nobody came as a shock to her fellow students. They had tried to approach Roxas and ask him about it, but number Thirteen only answered them with a scowl and a promise of death if they ever tried to ask him about the said subject.
Needless to say, none dared to do so, after that, even after the end of term. They were now in Year III and Year IV, and the schoolwork at least did something to take her mind off things.
Roxas suddenly yawned, and rummaged through his bag, taking out his theoretical textbook on Masters Sword Handling and Maneuvering. "Riku, did you study for the prelims?"
The platinum-haired Wielder nodded, propping his chin up on his palm as he speared a lettuce leaf. "Don't tell me you didn't, Miss Trepe has no mercy on written. I heard that Vaan's going to be the one who gives the practicals."
"Yep," Selphie agreed, "My brother together with Ashe and Faram."
Roxas groaned. "No fair. They're Paladins already..."
"Hello," Tidus cut in, rolling his eyes. "You're Keyblade Masters, it should be a piece of cake."
"Oh. Right."
Roxas whined all the same.
- - - - - - - - - - -
"Alcaia, pay attention," Larxene snapped, putting a gloved hand on her black-coated hip.
Riku shrugged, and turned back his gaze to the blonde Nobody, who was currently scribbling on the blackboard the instructions on how to weave Cure and Reflect together. He blinked, and stared at the barely legible squiggles. Healing Arts was never really his best loved subject, and with Larxene teaching, he could honestly say it was a pain in the ---
"What the heck is she writing on the board?" Elazul drawled, tapping a pencil on the edge of his desk. "I knew I should've dropped this subject."
"Well..."
Larxene still kept her teaching post at the Academy, and so did Axel and Zexion, after a very long 'talk' with the principal of the school and the mayor of Destiny Islands. The admin was torn between their reputation as a good school with brilliant students and teachers and their reputation as a safe place to be.
Riku learned that the day after Roxas and Naminé fought in the quadrangle, half of the current students left and transferred to other schools, but nearly double that number applied for entrance to Destiny Academy. Word spread around like wildfire that the Academy was the place to be, seeing that not only did Keyblade Masters and a Princess of Heart study there (not to mention the legendary Key to Kingdom Hearts), but Organization XIII, a group of Nobodies famous for their skills, taught there.
It came as no surprise, then, when an unwilling Marluxia and a seriously pissed off Vexen were forced (with a creepy smile, as Roxas related) to teach Lifestream Biology and Lifestream Chemistry.
The Chilly Academic earned the title of most hated exam-giver in less than a month.
Seriously, it gave Riku a headache. A migraine, if you will.
People either (a) stared at their group at the cafeteria like they had all sprouted extra heads or something, (b) had taken to calling him 'Sir' and Kairi 'Princess', (c) seemed to think that Roxas was being a cocky little bastard, just because he had 'saved the world', (d) stayed at least ten feet from him, (e) followed him around like there was no tomorrow, or (f), just shrugged and treated him as the still same old, smooth-talking Riku.
He preferred (f), thank you very much.
"Argh," number Twelve slapped her forehead exasperatedly. "You people aren't getting any of this, are you?"
A chorus of sarcastic 'what is she saying?' and 'finally she realizes' echoed through the classroom, resulting in no less than twenty kunais driven into the already chock-full-of-holes wall.
Larxene's eyes flashed, and the room fell so silent you could hear a pin drop and hear it echo.
"Ah, forget it," she said good-naturedly, recalling the slivers of metal back into the gaps of her fingers.
Whispers rippled across the room, and the class let out a collective sigh of relief.
"So, for anyone who still doesn't know," she paused, tapping her chin thoughtfully. "Halloween is only something like two months away, and that means --- "
"That girl Selphie is out recruiting for the Dance Committee, and we should all lock ourselves in our homes lest we fall prey to her evil ways," a voice called out from behind the classroom, and the whole room burst onto laughter, even Larxene.
Riku, snickering, made a mental note to tell Selphie the exact name and address of the guy who said that.
"...well, partly," Larxene managed to say, swiping at the edge of her eyes, "Aside from that, Twilight Town's hosting the Dance. The teachers are going to talk with the admin on how're you all gonna get there. Costumes as usual, starts at six, ends at one. Partners aren't mandatory. And no funny stuff happening. Excessive PDA will be taped and used for blackmail. Clear?"
"Oh, so you and prof Axel won't be showing any excess...PDA...?" Riku said loudly, earning another outburst of laughter from the students and a furiously blushing Larxene.
"Alcaia," she said hotly, "Detention."
"Guilty as charged, eh?"
Another round of laughter.
"Double detention."
"She's blushing as red as Axel's hair," he taunted, smirking.
Larxene threw her hands up in frustration. "Shut up, Riku. Fine. You have detention for the next month, starting tomorrow."
"So I can see you and Axel's public displays of affection," Riku grinned, running a hand through his hair, spirits slightly uplifted in the midst of the roars of laughter of his classmates. He was grateful for moments like these, but at the same time, he feared these moments the most.
For when he laughed, he always imagined a brunet, spiky-haired boy's hearty chuckle, and a frail flaxen-locked girl's soft giggle. They echoed in his head, and Riku frowned, fighting the urge to bang his head into his desk.
He missed them so much.
Especially his best friend.
Today was the twelfth of August. And sooner or later Riku would have to deal with remembering Sora on his birthday.
- - - - - - - - - - -
Riiiiiiiiiing.
Roxas suddenly bolted up in his chair, and stared around, yawning and wondering where he was.
The classroom was in chaos as people scribbled panicked last-ditch answers in the sheets of paper spread on top of their desks. Papers were flying around as students stood up, rushed to the teacher's table, passed their exam papers, and trotted out into the dismissal flood of people.
"If in thirty seconds I do not have your paper in my hands I will flunk you automatically," their proctor, a tall, imposing woman named Quistis Trepe with groupies perpetually following her, said in a no-nonsense voice.
Eyebrows furrowed, Roxas scanned his own test paper, chewing the end of his pencil as he did. Sure, he did have a few blanks, and a few not-so-sure answers, but at least he tried, right? He surreptitiously tried to dry the patch of drool on his paper, ignoring the looks his classmates cast him. Cleanliness was a good point, in any case.
He shuffled over to the table and handed his paper in, giving Miss Trepe a weak smile. He sure hoped he passed the written exams --- he had no intention of flunking Masters Sword Handling and Maneuvering.
"Hey," Riku clapped him on the shoulder, shouldering his own bag as he did.
Roxas rolled his eyes. "Okay, Riku, I know you aced the test, stop bugging me."
The platinum-haired Wielder shrugged. "You said that, not me. Anyway, I'll wait for you by the main doors, okay? Don't take ten years in there."
He growled and Riku laughed, heading off into the opposite direction. Roxas stomped to the men's shower room and changed into his Organization XIII coat, wondering why he bothered with wearing a uniform in the first place. Like anyone would even try and stop him on the choice of clothing. Being a Nobody made him a lot less approachable. Anyway, he had taken to wearing his coat every chance he legally could; it reinforced the fact that he was number Thirteen and therefore, should not be trifled with.
As soon as he emerged into the corridor people walking past him flattened themselves against the lockers as much as humanly possible. Roxas bit back a chuckle as he hurriedly slipped on his gloves, flexing his fingers to make sure they fit right --- they were new, after all. The whole Organization had bought new coats from the Black Market, obviously because the ones that had been used in the battle with Sora were almost unrecognizable from all the tears and blood splattered on them.
Shifting his bag, Roxas huffed and quickened his pace enough for the people to notice him and get out of the way. He was busy tightening the cords of his hood to notice Kairi waiting for him in the middle of the hallway. Understandably, they collided with each other rather painfully.
"Roxas!" she scolded, "Watch where you're going!"
He felt all the color drain out of his face, and immediately looked away. "Sorry."
"Come on," Kairi tapped her feet impatiently, hands fisted on her hips. "We have a project to do."
"Yeah, yeah," he mumbled, still keeping his gaze on the floor, because everytime he saw the redwine-haired Princess of Heart, he saw Naminé.
The whole Organization had helped arrange her Proof's room. It was a rather large white one, with one whole wall of windows with a magnificent view of Kingdom Hearts. Sky-blue curtains graced the windowframes, the familiar white table and white high-backed chair, and all her artwork had been framed and hung, rather that just being stuck on the wall with scotch tape. Roxas himself placed a stack of sketchbooks and her favorite set of colored pencils on the tabletop. It seemed stupid, but it relieved some of his stress.
"Kairi?" Her name slipped out from his mouth, and she turned back to face him, expression mildly curious.
"Hm?"
"Uh..." he walked up to catch up with her, and they fell into step together. Now he's in for it; there was no turning back. "I...I know a way to bring him back."
As expected, Kairi stopped short and whirled around to face him. "Wha--"
"Listen," he said urgently, staring her in the eye. "I can bring Sora back. The Dark Keyblade."
She looked horrified. "What the hell are you thinking, Roxas!" she yelled, placing her hands on his shoulders and shaking him as hard as she could. "You can get killed!"
People around them started to whisper, but he ignored them, repeating to Kairi in a hurried whisper what he had told the Organization. With every word the look on Kairi's face darkened and her scowl twisted further.
"You. Could. Get. Killed," she hissed after he had finished. "I already lost him, and I'm not about to risk losing you."
"You're losing me and getting him back!" he argued, matching the look on her face with a scowl of his own. Didn't she understand? The realm of light needed Sora much more than him! Kairi needed Sora more than him! Somehow the previous happenings must've screwed up with her common sense.
"No, Roxas!" she paused, cluctching the strap of her bag so tightly her knuckles were white. "It's not that I don't want him to come back; it's just...I don't want to lose somebody else. I might end up losing you. I don't want that, Roxas. Please listen to me."
He gaped for a full ten seconds before brushing past her, thoughts swirling around madly. What the hell was she thinking?
Riku was, as he had said, leaning on the doorframe of the main entrance to the Academy. Kairi's footsteps were pounding behind him, and the silver-haired boy raised an eyebrow in an unspoken question. Roxas shook his head and stormed out the door.
- - - - - - - - - - -
"What's up with him?" Riku asked as he waited for Kairi to catch up with him. They walked out together, following the blonde number Thirteen to the quadrangle.
She shook her head. "I have no idea."
He narrowed his eyes, but said nothing nor betrayed any hint that he knew Kairi was lying through her teeth. The redhead never was good at covering things up.
Roxas suddenly whirled around, with the most unconvincing smile Riku had ever had the misfortune to witness in his entire life. "Riku? Could you please portal me over to the Castle?"
He blinked, taken aback. He knew Roxas had been hitching a 'ride' from his fellow Organization members through the Corridors, since his powers that had anything to do with darkness (like portalling) had vanished. He could still summon Slayers and the like, but most of his Nobody abilities had faded away when he had become a Somebody. "What about --- "
"Axel told me that the teachers have a meeting about the Halloween Dance," he explained, with unneeded emphasis on the words Halloween Dance. Kairi stiffened almost immediately and went pale. Riku narrowed his eyes at the blonde spiky-haired boy, fists clenching. Roxas smirked and laced his fingers behind his head.
Although Riku dearly wanted to introduce his fist to that smirk, he held back the urge for the sake of Kairi. The girl would probably become even more depressed if he and Roxas fought. "Fine, Roxas," he muttered, flinging out his hand and creating a portal right then and there.
Some students screamed, but most just stayed away. Portals were a common sight now; the Organization members who were professors just didn't care what people thought.
Roxas' smirk faltered, and his shoulders slumped. "Sorry. I got carried away," he mumbled, staring at the concrete ground, feet shuffling.
Kairi was visibly taken aback, but she smiled warmly and turned to Riku. "I'm going to the Castle too."
Both boys turned to face her.
Roxas blinked. "What now?"
Riku nodded in agreement. Kairi visited the Castle that Never Was at least once every week for one reason or another; once to help Marluxia in his garden, another one to train with Xaldin and Xigbar, with the most recent one to take music lessons from both Larxene and Demyx.
She prodded Roxas' chest, narrowing her eyes. "Hello? We're partners in the Materia Handling project, right?"
"But it's not due until next month!" he protested, showing the mutual aversion he and Riku had for the subject.
Kairi tilted her head. "Cramming doesn't always work."
Riku stepped in, putting a hand on Kairi's shoulder and making her squeak. "I know you hate the Corridors, Kai...you two can just work on the project in my place."
The auburn-haired girl looked scandalized. "I do not hate the Corridors, Riku. It's just the I'm a Princess of Heart so naturally I won't feel comfortable in such --- "
Roxas snorted derisively. "Somebody should teach her to use the Corridors of Light."
His eyes widened together with Kairi's. "There are Corridors of Light?" he asked, speaking for both himself and the her.
The blonde shrugged. "I dunno. You have the Corridors of Darkness, right? So there must be Corridors of --- "
Kairi rolled her eyes and pulled Riku into the portal herself. "C'mon, Riku, let's just leave him to his inane babbling."
"Hey! That was mean!" Roxas hollered, pouting and following them inside.
- - - - - - - - - -
Zexion paused, placing a finger in the book he was reading as a marker. He breathed deeply and quirked an eyebrow.
What was she doing here?
A few seconds later the white marble door of the Castle Library opened, and a slim redheaded girl with swirling beryl eyes cautiously peeked in. She then slipped inside and closed the door, careful not to make a sound.
He seriously doubted it had anything to do with the unspoken rule of silence in any Library.
"Princess," he said slowly, and Kairi squeaked.
"Hey!" she pointed an accusing finger at him. "Why didn't I see you there?"
Zexion shrugged. "You don't look close enough."
She blinked, and frowned. "Well...Uhm. You're Zexion, right?"
"Who else would I be?"
To his surprise, Kairi giggled, flouncing down into the chair beside him and scrutinized him, her chin resting on her palms. "You don't act like the Zexion Riku told me that you would be."
Now he frowned. "What did the Wielder tell you?"
"That you're emo and you don't talk."
Zexion set down his book and choked back a smile. "I was. But life just taught me some important things."
"Nonlife," she pointed out, straightening up and fixing the collar of her uniform.
"Life or nonlife, they're both fleeting. You have to make the best of them," he sighed, yawning and burying his face in his arms, his forehead coming in contact with his book. He stared at the letters of the title --- Ansem Reports --- and wondered how Xemnas had managed to convince Sora to give the papers to the Organization. Probably when he was still half-Heartless.
"I know," Kairi said heavily, and he cringed, knowing that he had touched a nerve.
"Sorry."
"I thought Nobodies couldn't feel."
"That's the thing, Princess. We ourselves don't feel, but remember what it was to have a heart. So technically we can still remember what it feels like to be happy or whatever," he explained, voice muffled.
"Riku was wrong," she said simply, and Zexion lifted his head up to stare at the redwine-locked girl. She took a glance at him and started fiddling with her thumbs. "You really weren't all emo, were you? You just shut yourself down because you've had a very bad experience with socializing with other people."
"You sound like a therapist," he smiled, raising an eyebrow. It was hard to believe that this girl sitting beside him was the same six-year-old girl Ansem the Wise had sent away ten years ago. Destiny Islands had really changed her.
"I'm good at that," she tilted her head thoughtfully, then started scrutinizing him once again.
Zexion drew back. "What?"
She narrowed her eyes. "Why do you have your hair that way? What are you hiding?"
He hesitated, and turned his stare back into the leather-bound Ansem Reports. "That's...no. It's nothing. I just want to have my hair that way."
"Then why'd you hesitate?" she asked curiously, lifting her hand to brush the strands of hair off the left side of his face. He drew back immediately, but her fingers had already grazed the lilac hair, flipping it sideways for a split second.
Kairi gasped, and her chair made a screeching sound as she reeled back.
"I told you," he said quietly. "It's nothing."
He could feel her gaze at him with a horrifed expression frozen on her face.
"That's not nothing! You...you..."
Closing his eyes tiredly, he leant back in his chair. "Yes, I'm also half-Heartless, Princess. That's why I cover the left side of my face." He knew Kairi was seeing Sora in his...condition.
"How..?"
"I don't know. I became Heartless in an experiment. Maybe it was botched or something," he explained. "I've learned to live with it. That's why I don't use any weapons at all; I don't fight except when I really need to. Might go berserk."
True, over the last eight years that he had been a Nobody, the darkness swirling across his skin had retreated, and only the Heartless eye and the blackened left hand remained. He always made sure to trim his fingernails; ripped gloves was something of an issue with him.
"So you knew how..."
"Yes, but I got too worked up on Arlene to help him. Sorry, Princess."
Thankfully, Kairi had calmed down somewhat, and even patted him on the back. "It's okay; it would've happened eventually, anyway."
"Thanks."
"I sound weird," Kairi stifled a laugh. "I'm actually talking to my professor about his feelings...now that I think about it...ew..."
He chuckled, and she stared at him disbelievingly. What exactly had Riku told Kairi about him?
"Uhm, Professor?"
"You can call me Zexion when you're here, Princess."
She frowned. "Call me Kairi."
"Fine, Kairi."
"Why weren't you in class today? Lots of people kept asking us where you were," she asked, tracing circles on the marble table.
"I had some research to do," Zexion paused. "Was this why you came here to the Library?"
Her eyes widened, and she shook her head vehemently. "Uh, no, there's this project where Roxas and I are partners. Something about Materia Types and where to get them. I have research too."
Zexion raised an eyebrow.
"Uhm..." She paused, hugging her bookbag to her chest. "Is Saïx in his Proof?"
He choked. "N-no," he managed to say, "I don't think so; Superior sent him off to see how the investigations are going on in Disney Castle."
"Oh," she abruptly stood up and brushed herself off. "Well...I...I have to take a look at his Proof...the Materia there..."
Zexion finished his choking session and settled for staring at Kairi instead. "Sure, he won't mind. As long as you don't touch anything."
"I said I was going to take a look," she smirked, and heaved her bag over her shoulder. "Look, not touch."
"Fine. Don't get lost."
She rolled her eyes. "I've been here dozens of times. Besides, I need the exercise. Walking's good."
"This castle wasn't made for walking, you know," he said, rifling through the book to the Report where he had stopped reading.
"I know. 'bye, Professor."
He watched as the redhead pushed back the chair and walked off, rummaging for something in her bag as she did.
"Oh, and if Roxas stops by and looks for me, please tell him I'm in Saïx's proof."
Zexion shrugged once again. "Sure. Thanks for your time, Princess."
Kairi stuck out her tongue, and left.
- - - - - - - - - - -
Research.
...not exactly. Zexion didn't need to know that.
Kairi picked her way through the shambles of Organization XIII's Proof of Existence, careful not to trip over and crush the loosely-bound book she held in her arms. She wanted to be alone. She wanted to finish perusing this final shard of memory by herself.
Panting slightly, she ducked through number Seven's portal, into the Addled Impasse, where the glass windows hid nothing of Kingdom Hearts' glorious brilliance. White light spilled onto perfect squares on the marble floor. Her own footsteps made no sound.
She halted to a stop in one particularly bright patch of light, right under the massive moon that was Kingdom Hearts. Taking a deep breath, she knelt, and opened Sora's journal--right to the last full page halfway. It was his final entry, before he went renegade. Probably the last coherent thought he had. She bowed her head, reading silently.
Hey.
I went and got my enrollment cancelled today, and guess what? Kai's going out with RiKU...
It hurts--I hate that, I can only really feel pain
Killed that Vandalise prof...Cripes, Antiform's yapping in my head again. He likes doing that--
Geez
I LOVE her, but it's just wrong I can't feel love, you know?
Her breath hitched; teardrops, both clear and bloody, had blurred the last sentence. She could almost imagine Sora, sitting cross-legged on his bed, head bowed--
Oh yeah I have a story to tell you--it's an old one, and
my hand's starting to shake hell no ANTIFORM stop it--
Okay, got it back, just told Antiform to wait for a few more minutes--we're storming Disney Castle; I'm claiming my Reverse Keyblade, it's MINE, after all. And if you saw Kairi with Riku...
great I'm so damn pissed
Anyway, moving on
Told this one to Axel the other day; I felt so depressed.
There's this white rose, you know? A sparrow falls in love with it, and one day, he proposes
then the white rose says she'll only accept him once she turns into a red rose
and
I can't do this, oh I've got a craving again
and then
the sparrow tears himself apart, and spreads his blood on the rose, making her turn red with his
must not write word; craving shall get worse--I need to stop leaving unfinished entries in this journal anyway. So then the white rose realizes she loves the sparrow
but she's too late; he's dead.
Sounds familiar, doesn't it?
But my rose doesn't give a damn whether I die or not; no siree--and hell she hates me!
but I LOVE HER no matter what
I love you, Kairi. Me. Sora! no matter what happens--if Roxas has to keep his promise; I may never have the chance to say this
cripes, she won't even read this need blood NOW
A long fingernail scratch-mark marred the paper, breaking its ruled lines. And on the next line--
Buddyboy's too much of a damn sap to write this--phooey.
Going to murder King Mick-o now. Heyo little journal, say biddybye to your author! B'coz he
might not
COME BACK
The entry ended abruptly. Once again, tears spilled over her cheeks, and she wept. Clutching the journal to her heaving chest, she sobbed with her all--just like she did in those particularly bad nights when she was nothing but a crying ball in the midst of tattered sheets she had torn herself. She knew her tears would not stop flowing, not for a long time.
Four months passed by like a nightmare; her dreams were haunted by a faceless spiky-haired brunet calling out her name.
Over and over again.
Over and over again.
"Kairi."
She ignored the voice; it sounded like a hangover from her nightmares. She cursed herself for letting herself degrade into something like this, she was supposed to be strong, she was a Princess of Heart. But her strength -oh Sora forever and ever- was gone and she--
"Kairi, please stop crying..."
Kairi suddenly felt someone kneel beside her, on her right side. She cracked one swollen eye open, and found herself looking into the concerned stormy-blue eyes of Roxas Hikari.
Hikari no don't think about that
"...don't cry," he whispered hoarsely, lips curving into a half-smile. Half smiles were all that Roxas could manage, now. Kairi leveled her gaze at the silver necklace of his Organization coat, dancing in the moonlight that was Kingdom Hearts.
"Roxas?" she asked tentatively, hugging the black journal closer to her chest, the spiral wire digging into the thin fabric of her dress. His eyes flickered to the looseleaf notebook, and his facial expression tightened considerably. Roxas focused his gaze on her instead.
Cerulean blue eyes scrutinized her own beryl ones, coming closer and closer to her face, thick black eyelashes where tiny sparkling teardrops glistened...their noses slightly grazed each other, and the boy's pale lips were actually parting and...
Kairi didn't know what to feel; anger, or pity, or sadness, or just plain desperation--oh God he looks so much like Sora--as she could feel Roxas' warm breath on her own chapped lips--
"You look so much like her, Kairi."
He whispered those words in only the way a broken soul could--pain and unrequited love bubbling under a mask of controlled voice, and eyes brimming with tears of hate for himself and somehow hate for the entire world.
She watched, stunned -b'cause she really really thought he'd kiss her-, as Roxas got to his feet in a split second and stared up at the glowing heart of all Worlds. "...I can't stand it anymore."
Her words froze on her tongue as his faint words floated on the air and settled on her ears. Blue-violet locked with cerulean for a split second, and Roxas' lips curved even more--the first genuine smile he had shown for the past half-year.
He's not doing what I think he's--
The blonde Keyblade Master held out his right hand, and the unmistakable shape of the Dark Keyblade coalesced into his fingers.
"No!" Kairi screamed, as Roxas lifted the Keyblade and spun it to face his own chest. She lunged forward in a desperate bid to knock the Keyblade away, but she saw something flicker in his cerulean eyes--they seemed to suddenly return to their former luster.
Why did Keyblade Masters have to be so damn stupid?
She felt her heart plummet as he grinned at her, looking geniunely happy for the first time in months.
And Roxas stabbed himself with the Dark Keyblade.
She couldn't help seeing Sora do the same.
Light blossomed from his chest, and his fingers loosened their grip. She forced herself to snap out of her stunned bewilderment and scrambled to her feet, the journal crashing to the cold marble floor.
I've done it again.
I couldn't stop him.
...Sora's--
It started with a single brilliant point of light, bursting from the ebony-black of his coat, just below the necklace. It then quickly expanded exponentially. Kairi could feel the wave of energy knock her off her feet. It washed over her as that brilliant light drew on her own powers, and she felt her consciousness start to slip.
Roxas fell, darkness streaming from him and covering him...the strands faded away...
...and Sora hit the floor soundlessly.
The light resonated, and everything went black.
Her last thought was a fervent prayer for the blonde Nobody--
Thank you, Roxas.
-----------------------
One final gesture.
Roxas bit his lip, and stood up for the last time. He gazed down at himself and saw himself wearing his Twilight-born clothes. His figure was hazy and transparent at the same time, glowing slightly with the same light of Kingdom Hearts. He stared at the two teenagers lying on the cold marble ground.
Kairi, Princess of Heart, redwine locks swirled around her head, closed eyes above a frown, dried streaks of tears on her cheeks.
Sora, Keyblade Master, mahogany spikes pressed against the white floor, looking for all the world that he's just fallen asleep after a hard day's work.
They lay in front of him, a foot apart from each other, hands held loosely at their chests.
Sighing resignedly, Roxas took a step forward and bent down. He took Sora's hand and reached it out to place it in Kairi's.
"Huh?"
A giggle.
Kairi's hand linked with Sora's, and Roxas looked up into the translucent figure of Naminé. She set down the linked hands of the pair and smiled up at him.
"You didn't notice me," she pouted, putting her hands behind her back. She was watching him from the time he stood up--maybe he was just too caught up in the moment.
He looked shocked, and to say that was an understatement. "N-Naminé?" he managed to choke out, stepping forward. "H-how did you--"
She stepped forward too, meeting him in front of the two teens lying on the floor, and held up a hazy finger to his hazy lips. "Don't say anything more. We don't have much time."
The truth was, Naminé had only come to existence once more because she was the one who held Sora's heart when Roxas released it. She was also the one who released it when Sora came back. And in all likelihood this was the last time she'll ever exist as Naminé ever again.
"I...I...Naminé," the blonde boy choked, fists clenched at his sides.
"I'm sorry," they both said at the same time, then immediately turned away from each other.
"Sorry for pushing you too hard, Nam," Roxas stammered. Naminé looked upwards, trying to blink back the tears that were threatening to fall. "I guess..."
"No," she suddenly spun around and threw her arms around his waist, burying her face and her tears in his back. "It's okay. I was too blind to see that I was wrong. I don't care if we're only Nobodies anymore; all I care about is that I love you and that I'll love you forever."
Roxas gently loosened her hands and turned around to face her, a smile on his face and translucent tears beading at the edge of his beautiful stormy blue eyes. "That sounds so cheesy."
She couldn't help but laugh as he intertwined his fingers with hers. Roxas leant forward until their foreheads were touching each other. Naminé suddenly remembered what was going to happen to them, and her happiness faltered. "You could've lived your life, Roxas, with a heart. You shouldn't have given it up."
He shook his head, soft golden spikes bouncing. "Nah. I'd rather be with you."
She looked to her side, frowning as reality hit her. "We both know that's not going to happen."
"Oh, c'mon," Roxas said softly, placing his arms around her waist, holding her close as much as he dared to. "You're the one who said it, remember?" he asked, gesturing to the two teens lying behind them, basked in the light of Kingdom Hearts. "We'll be together again. Everytime they are together."
Naminé had had enough. She burst into tears and pounded her fisted hands into his chest. "But it's not the same, Roxas!" she screamed, sobbing and hurting and hating the world at the same time.
"It's just...not..." she trailed off, crying quietly, feeling Roxas shush her and draw her closer. She pressed her head against her chest, not really taking note of the fact that nothing was beating there. Translucent tears streamed down her face and ran into his translucent clothes, and she was grateful that there was someone on whom she could cry on. "It's just not..." she repeated, unable to stop crying.
"I know," he whispered into her hair, and she felt drops warm liquid drip down onto her forehead. She looked up and Roxas looked away, his eyes shut closed and his lips in an anguished snarl.
"It's unfair," she stated simply, lifting her hands and twining them around his neck.
He managed to smile. "It is, but at least something good came out of it. I got to know you. Even if you did erase my memories...I'll still remember you."
The corners of her mouth twitched into a half-smile. "And how would that happen?"
"Soulmate," he stated simply. "I may not have a heart, but I have a soul of my own."
"In that case..." Naminé smiled for real this time, mirroring Roxas' expression. "I'll make sure I'll never forget you. Even when I'm gone."
"Is that a promise?" Roxas asked teasingly. She nodded, resting her head against his chest. She felt him tuck her head under his chin, and they embraced for the final time.
Naminé felt happy. It wasn't borrowed; she was feeling genuine joy. Maybe two Nobodies made a Somebody, or something to that effect. Sure, it was unfair as hell, and sure, it gave her excruciating pain, the knowledge that she would never see Roxas again -don't forget that she herself would disappear forever-, but she was grateful that in the short span of time that she existed, she was loved. She had loved. Nothing, not even remerging, could change that.
She suddenly felt lightheaded, and numbness spread upwards from her sandalled feet.
Naminé had felt this before, in Roxas' arms, with her chest in bloody tatters and her eyes raised up to the heavens.
He made a little noise of suprise, and held her closer.
They were fading.
Instead of panic, she felt peace. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, tears still sparkling on her cheeks. "I love you, Roxas."
He choked on his own breath, and squeezed his arms held around her waist, holding her as if his life depended on it.
"I love you more, Naminé."
And that was the last thing Naminé heard before the both of them faded back into their Others, their bodies fading away into strands of light, back into the seventh Princess of Heart and the Key to Kingdom Hearts.
- - - - - - - - - - -
motto aishtemasu - I love you more.
So you know who's restored, and who sacrifices.
Yay. So that's a happy ending for Sora and Kairi...for Roxas and Naminé...well, at least they're (technically) together. Sad. I'm a Namixas fan, and it's kind of heartbreaking to write this.
Augh.
To anonymous reviewer marybeetles, thanks for the review. I like your penname...yeppers.
Mebd, yeah. Simple and Clean...the melody fits it. This chap shouldn't make you sad too much. Heh. The sequel has something to do with another note, and it will be drama, even more than this one. Roxas just kinda snapped at the beginning, and you can't really blame him... Aww. Thanks for the review.
Starfire, that's a pretty good idea you have there. Sadly, I have something else in mind. The sequel tackles the Keyblade Master who's-on-what-side of the story, 'cause Sora'll be pretty pissed off at King Mickey. Thanks for sharing your idea.
Lyemi, yes, you got it. Sora's birthday is a tribute to Axel and Roxas. -grins-
I just don't know what came over me, but expect at least two more chapters from this thing. Argh.
About the sequel, it involves another note, and Kairi being Princess of Radiant Garden. Uhhh... I can't really say when I'll be uploading it...just stay tuned.