Disclaimer: I do not own Neon Genesis Evangelion. Eva is owned by others that make more money than I do (People like Hideaki Anno and Gainax, for example).
However, I DO own this story. I wrote it for people to enjoy, not to plagiarize or sell for profit. Please do not claim it as your own, or try to make money off it. If you want to repost it, just send me an E-mail if you want to translate it or post it on your site.
Comments and Creative Criticism are always welcome. Please send all E-mail to: willz@wpi.edu. No flames - we are all better than that.
Thanks: Special thanks goes to numerous people. I appreciate all the help everyone gave me, and I appreciate their letting me pester them a lot. Special thanks to Aisu, Dr. Geoduck, Xylis, LittlePriest, Zel-ouki, Big__D, Thoth_of_ND, Sethra_lavode, LedZepFan, Gendo_ohki, Taloon, Beagle-san and Kyokki, to name a few.
Dictionary:
Ok - an explanation first: I like the way certain words sound in other languages, so I opted to use those words instead of the English equivalent. They are listed below. Note: Asuka DOES use German occasionally in the sub/dubs, so I am going to keep that up here.
The words/phrases:
hentai, ecchi and sukebe - pervert or perverted (Japanese).
Arschloch - A-Hole (German).
Mein Gott! - My GOD! (German)
Dummkopf - Idiot or moron - literally translated as "stupid head" (German).
Baka - idiot, moron or jerk. The MOST versatile word in Asuka's Japanese dictionary!
Gomen (or Gomen Nasai) - I'm sorry (Japanese)
Note: "chan" at the end of names is used as a familiar title, or one of affection, and "sama" or "san" are ones of respect: the first is very respected, the latter is respect as equals.
Note: There is a German phrase near the end. Asuka says it in English right after. Thanks Dr Geoduck for the German refresher and translations!
Now, Will Z Presents:
She's Got a Way About Her
A Neon Genesis Evangelion fanfiction
Chapter One: Catalyst
Shinji Ikari turned off his SDAT player, sighing as he covered his head with his blankets. Once again, sleep was as fleeting as one of Asuka's moods; elusive when he needed it, and choosing to pummel him to the ground when he least needed or expected it. The thoughts of Asuka kept bullying themselves to the forefront, helping each little image of the redhead pull him further away from sleep.
He stared at the darkness, but that didn't help either, since he could practically hear her breathing in the room across the hall. Even when Misato snored loud enough to drown out the SDAT, he could hear her in his mind as if she were right beside him. Like that night... No. He was NOT going to go there again tonight!
What did she think of when she slept? What could he say to her to get her to... No. He was not going to tread these waters tonight: He wanted to sleep, or the synch tests would be a hell in and of themselves, which would disappoint Misato and Ritsuko, while Asuka would...
Frustrated, he got out of the bed, and went to get himself a can of tea to attempt to soothe his troubled, one-track mind.
Asuka quickly moved away from Shinji's door, as she heard his SDAT click off. Over the past few months, she had gotten better at picking out the sounds the little tape player and its owner made when she went to check on him. She remembered the first time she had been caught with mild dismay.
"Well," she had said, hoping the panicked flush on her face would be taken for anger, "I thought I heard you being perverted out here, so I figured I would come out here and kick your sorry hentai ass if that was the case."
Shinji just blushed and made his way to the bathroom.
She sighed as her thoughts snapped back to the present. On bare feet, she scurried to her room, silently closed the door behind her, and pulled the covers over herself in feigned sleep.
Heartbeats passed until she finally heard the sound of Shinji's door sliding open, followed by the scuff of his feet, ending with the sound her door being slid open a tiny bit. She closed her eyes, hoping that he wouldn't suspect she had been awake at all. It was so hard to keep from getting up and accusing him of spying on her, though. Maybe he had heard her, and thought someone was breaking in? She'd let it slide this time, unless he tried anything perverted.
Heartbeats more seemed to pass slowly before her door slid closed again, and Asuka could release a breath she didn't know she had been holding.
Her heart felt as if it would burst from her chest. What was she thinking, anyways? Did she really want to embarrass herself, being caught peeking on Shinji like that? Her cheeks felt flushed, so she snuggled herself deeper into her blankets, trying to hide her embarrassment from even herself.
Misato hobbled her way over to the kitchen, opened the fridge, and blinked as she saw Pen-Pen looking back at her with a surprised look. Before the penguin could wail a response and wake the kids, she grabbed the flightless bird by his beak.
"Here's the deal," she said, looking from side to side, "If you don't wake up the kids, I'll give you a beer. Deal?"
The penguin nodded enthusiastically, and waited patiently for Misato to get the beer out of the fridge. She opened one, and placed it so he could grab it in his beak.
If Misato had been looking as Pen-pen was, she would have seen Asuka get up from near Shinji's door, and quickly disappear into her room. Pen-pen drank his beer as Misato closed the door. She was so engrossed with just trying to make it to her room, that she didn't see Shinji come out of his room.
She was soundly asleep at her desk by the time Shinji opened the door on a very startled penguin.
"I'll give you one of Misato's beers, if you don't wake everyone up." Shinji told the bird as he kept Pen-pen's beak closed with one hand.
Pen-pen thought that this was, hands-down, one of the best nights he had had in a long time.
Morning started its usual somber way, with Shinji making breakfast before everyone else woke for the day. He stood silently, mixing the hot miso soup with a spoon while waiting for the rice cooker to announce it had accomplished its task in its annoyingly cheery tone. He barely wondered anymore how it was that he got less sleep than his other two roommates, and yet could be up earlier then either of them. He just took it as a fact of life as he continued preparing the day's repast.
As Misato, Pen-pen and Asuka made their way to the table, each sat in their respective places while he finished pouring the coffee for himself and Asuka. He placed a beer next to his guardian, and gave Pen-pen his usual fare of fish. The penguin looked up to the chef appreciatively, as Shinji took his seat at the table.
Misato let out a moan of pain, released her head, and popped the top off the beer. She tilted her head back, and poured the amber liquid right down her throat without swallowing. Shinji shivered as he watched Misato pull off the drinking trick: She must have been extremely hung-over if she couldn't muster the strength to swallow.
"Serves you right for drinking so much," Shinji said noncommittally.
"But I really need this drink! Honest!" came the reply as Misato slammed the can onto the table, and winced as it made a loud bang.
Shinji just gave her a skeptical look, and picked up his coffee. He took a drink.
"Well, you would need a drink or two, too, if you had to talk the Commander into decorating the Geofront for Christmas!" She complained, getting up for another beer.
Shinji did a spit-take like they do in those really old American cartoons. He realized that, to his chagrin, Asuka had done one as well, soaking his shirt with the dark brown liquid.
"Well, morale was low," Misato said, defensively as both himself and Asuka turned to look at the older woman, " and it is getting close to Christmas, so I..."
"So you what?" both of them said, giving her a rather pointed look.
"So, I... Oh, Pen-pen! Let me help you up!" Misato exclaimed, going to the aid of the arctic bird that had not been able to recover from his facefault. As Misato went over to help the unfortunate bird, Shinji had time to glance over to see Asuka's reaction.
That's when he noticed that she hadn't changed for school yet, and he could almost see through it at...
Shinji jumped up, raced to the kitchen, and got a towel for Asuka.
"Gomen nasai!" He cried on his return, tossing the towel onto a very surprised Asuka. He pushed her towards her room before she really thought of WHY he was reacting like this. He hoped he didn't have a nosebleed. He pushed a protesting Asuka into her room, and closed the door behind her with a sigh.
Feeling a bit more composed, Shinji made his way back to the table, to try to salvage his meal as he tried to ask Misato how on EARTH she had convinced his father to do anything like that in the first place.
Fortunately for him, Misato was having problems calming Pen-pen down enough to pick up the penguin, so she couldn't escape before answering his questions.
He returned to the table, and sat down, calmly taking another sip of coffee. His mind raced with how exactly to ask the older woman to explain herself, when Asuka suddenly slammed open her door, stormed out of her room, sat down, and demanded to know what drugs Misato had been taking.
Well, Shinji thought, that's one way of approaching the topic.
Misato looked at both Children warily, letting out a resigned sigh after a moment's pause. Asuka fumed as she waited for the explanation she was DUE, while Shinji just waited patiently. Misato was hesitant to say it, but it was times like this that Shinji reminded Misato too much of his father, though he would be extremely upset to hear so.
Taking a breath, Misato told them the story.
"Good morning," Misato said to the man in the commander's chair, "What is today's agenda, sir?"
"Synch tests, routine checks and inspections. The usual," came the reply, "Now we just have to hope there are no attacks today, and it will be a routine day."
"Sir, May I make a request?" Misato asked nervously. The older man picked up his coffee and waved his assent.
"Well," Misato said, "morale around here has been very low." She paused, taking a deep breath, "and since it IS close to Christmas..."
"Continue, Major," He said, taking a sip of his coffee.
"Well, since morale IS so low, and it IS close to Christmas... I would like permission to decorate the Geofront, Sir."
A fine mist of coffee sprayed through the air.
"Denied." came the answer.
"But Sir," Misato countered, "It IS Christmas, and everyone is so stressed about recent attacks. The effort would brighten everyone's spirits! Look at how low performance levels are!"
There was a moment of consideration, then a reply.
"Very well, but if performance doesn't increase, it's removed instantly."
"Thank you, Sir!"
"And that's it," Misato said, "The whole truth. Well, maybe not the spit-take part, but the rest is pretty much word-for-word."
"I don't know," Shinji said skeptically, "It still doesn't sound right."
Misato considered a moment.
"Well, it doesn't sound like the commander at all, since he wasn't behind his desk, so it must have been Fuyutsuki."
Shinji just sighed.
"Why do I think that this plan of hers is going to be a disaster?" Asuka said to
Pen-pen, as both of them picked themselves up off the floor. Pen-pen could only nod his agreement.
Thankfully, there were no incidents on their way to school, so Shinji and Asuka had a rather quiet walk.
... Or rather: as quiet of a walk that could be had in the company of one Sohryu Asuka Langley.
"BAKA HENTAI!" Asuka shrieked, punting Shinji into the garbage cans "Stop looking at me like that!"
"But," Shinji said, confused, "I wasn't even looking at you!"
"You were ogling me out of the corner of your eye!"
Shinji just sighed, resigning himself to the fact that he couldn't win this argument. If he said he wasn't looking because she was behind him, she'd use it as proof that he WAS peeking, and if he said he was peeking, but saw nothing of interest, she'd maul him for the insult.
He decided to be silent, and thus save himself any more headaches before school started.
When he finally arrived at school, he let Asuka go on towards the classroom, while he stopped off at the boy's restroom to clean up the garbage that was still on his clothing. He was surprised to see that part of what was smeared into his pants looked like pieces of tinsel, probably from someone cleaning out their old Christmas ornaments for new.
"Don't do anything perverted in there, Baka." She said, sticking her tongue out at him, and pulling down her lower right eyelid with a forefinger.
He really hated it when she made the "neener" face at him.
Asuka walked into mayhem. There was no other word to describe the way her classmates seemed to move from one cluster of students to the next. Some were pointing, some were laughing, others were arguing, and then they would all shift to yet a different group. She had never seen the class as a whole this active, especially first thing in the morning.
She blinked, and focused on the largest group. In the center was Kensuke, typing away at his computer, while grinning that maniacal grin of his that everyone knew meant trouble in one way or another.
She was so surprised, that she forgot to announce to them the pleasure of being graced by her presence. Oddly, it had the same affect, as all of the groups stopped what they were doing and stared at her.
"So. Now that you've been blessed with my presence," She said, raising her nose in the air in a dignified manner, "What the Hell is going on here?"
Hikari, the Class Representative, quickly made her way over to Asuka with a delighted look on her lightly freckled face. The brunette beamed and Asuka found herself smiling back, though she was still curious as to what all the commotion was for.
"Kensuke found out that Nerv is going to decorate the Geofront," She said, her eyes gleaming.
"I know." Asuka said, perplexed, "So what is the big deal?"
"They are going to let the students decorate it!"
Asuka picked herself off the floor. Why hadn't Misato told them about this at breakfast? She thought of ways that she'd make the Third Child suffer, if he had made her miss important information.
Asuka was about to begin interrogating Hikari, when Shinji decided to make his entrance into the classroom, altering the redhead's focus from one prey to a newer one.
Before she could strike, though, the other two stooges grabbed him, and dragged him into the corner furthest from the now-seething Asuka.
Shinji blinked again in surprise at his two friends. Did they really think that he could do such an incredible feat? Granted, he could pilot an Eva, but THIS?!? His friends must have suffered simultaneous brain hemorrhages to even think this up!
"No." he repeated, taking his eyes off them long enough to look at a certain redhead warily.
"But you two are practically married as it is!" Touji complained.
"We need you two! Rei already agreed and got the synch test postponed, and Hikari can get..." Kensuke began
"No." Shinji said again, his voice wavering. Granted, it sounded fun, but there was a catch: Convincing Asuka to go along with it in the first place.
Either way, he was dead, thanks to the mad plans of his companions. Shinji knew that Touji liked the Class Rep, but why on Earth was Kensuke offering to partner with Rei? And why was this meeting at the karaoke bar so important, anyways? Kensuke said it was to keep them from listening on bugs, but then again, Kensuke WAS paranoid.
The whole thing just didn't add up, and it made Shinji very nervous.
Asuka watched the Three Stooges with trepidation. She could bet that they were talking about disgusting tentacle hentai or about how Shinji stares at herself and Misato.
Whatever it was, she could see Shinji look over at her several times, blushing furiously as he shook his head "no", before finally slumping his shoulders, and nodding an affirmative to the other two Stooges, who seemed elated that the baka hentai finally agreed to their latest plan of stupidity.
She was about to go over to them to unleash her fury, but at that moment the teacher decided to enter the room, spoiling the chance.
Sheisse! She muttered. Justice shall have to wait 'til after school, then!
She sat down, watching the Baka Hentai take his own seat from the corner of her eye. He looked like he was going off to fight an angel. It served him right, if he was telling Touji and Kensuke lies about her.
Hikari led the class in the morning routine like she did every morning. Asuka was wondering why the Japanese had to do things in such routine. Didn't it make their lives boring? After all this time, she STILL couldn't comprehend how these boring routines made anyone a better student. Ignoring the teacher's droning, She began to plot her revenge against the Three Stooges.
Shinji barely heard what the teacher said. His mind was spinning with ways to try to get Asuka to even consider this hare-brained idea his cohorts came up with. Granted, Touji did like the Class Rep, but Kensuke's feeble excuse to be there for his best friend fell very short of plausible.
He thought about what Kensuke and Touji were up to, ignoring the Teacher's litany about the project, the pairings and the time in which they had to work on said projects; Kensuke had provided very exact information in a very short time, and yet, this "Date" seemed less spontaneous than Misato's pet project. Maybe this little project only added to their plan, making it easier to rope him in?
He could feel the panic growing. How WAS he going to convince Asuka to accompany him and the others to the karaoke bar?
A flash on his data pad caught his attention. The blue and gray flashing box let him know that he had received a message from Asuka. He looked up, and noticed her glaring at him with a frown on her face.
Sweating, he looked at the message.
Baka. If you're going to think perverted things, at least wait until you're out of class!
Shinji blinked, trying to think of a reply. He saw Asuka grin, returning her attention to the teacher's litany. He thought a minute then fired off a message. He hoped the annoyance with which he said it was conveyed to it's recipient.
Actually, I was just wondering why Touji and Kensuke wanted you to join our project group.
A moment later, he saw her peek out of the corner of her eye, grin, and start typing. A moment later her reply printed itself onto his screen.
Maybe they want to have someone with brains in the group, or they want me there to keep you from trying to hit on their dates, baka. Very well, for Hikari's sake, I accept.
Shinji just stared at the screen, nonplussed. Not only had she countered the jab, she had replied with a retort AND her acceptance! He looked up and was about to smile, until he saw the look of doom on Asuka's face. His hopes that this was going to be a pleasant change from her normal self fell along with his expression.
Asuka turned around, frowning. Didn't the baka understand anything? That look on his face made this "date" seem more like a chore for him, than something enjoyable. What else did she have to do to get him to understand that here she was, letting him know she would let them be graced with her presence, and he STILL didn't get it!
Not that it WAS a "date", but knowing the Three Stooges, anything was extremely plausible. It wasn't like she wanted to go out with him like that, but he WAS extremely fun to torment. She knew what this was about, now: the other two Stooges were using him and her to get their own prospective dates! For the sake of her good friend Hikari, she would suffer that baka's boring presence. With a grin, she began forming ideas. She was NOT going to let those idiots screw up a potentially fun night!
Shinji walked alongside Asuka silently, trying hard to think of something - anything - that he could say to her to get her to respond to him. The silence seemed to press down on him, and he found that saying something became harder and harder to do with each step.
He mulled it over in his mind a moment more, and decided he could try to start idle conversation. What was the worst that could happen, anyways?
"Um..." He began, his face starting to burn with embarrassment. Before he realized it, Asuka stopped, grabbed him, and gave him a cross-body toss, right into the dumpster on her left.
"Baka!" she screamed at him, her blue eyes blazing. Well, now he knew the "worst that could happen" really stank.
"What was that for?" He asked, trying to get away from the smell of rotten fruit and meats. It WOULD have to be a seafood restaurant they were passing when she lost her temper.
"For earlier today," She said, tilting her nose to the air, and looking at him from the corner of her eye.
"What did I do?"
"If you don't know," she said, giving him the "neener" gesture, "then you are even more of a baka than I thought you were!"
With those words, Shinji was left there to stare at Asuka's retreating back as he struggled to get out of the offal.
A good shower did nothing to ease his nerves. He and Asuka were supposed to meet the others at the karaoke bar at 8:00 p.m. sharp. Asuka hadn't left her room since they returned home. Maybe he should check on her, but he just didn't know anymore.
Ignoring the part of him that wanted nothing to do with her at the moment, he stopped next to her door. He could almost swear that he heard her feet scurrying away from the door, but he couldn't be sure. Shrugging it off, Shinji entered his room, closing the sliding door behind him.
He never heard Asuka's door open as he started to dry off, humming part of a Christmas tune he had heard after being deposited into the dumpster.
**
OMAKE!
Time to take out the garbage!
Shinji looked around, feeling hunted. Ever since yesterday, Asuka had found a new way to torture
him. It scared him so much, he wouldn't go near her unless forced. First had been the
dumpsters, then she stuffed his head in the waste bin at home, and now..
"Oh, Shinji!" Came the much-hated voice. She was teasing him! He couldn't stand it anymore!
Silently, he hid in the compactor, avoiding her eyes. He would have hated himself, if he would
have thought of the irony.
"Oh, well," Asuka sighed, leaning on the compactor's "start" button. "He's not around.. I guess I'll
go get ice cream on my own."
Shinji barely heard though: Cursing his luck, he awaited his death at the hands of his beloved...
However, I DO own this story. I wrote it for people to enjoy, not to plagiarize or sell for profit. Please do not claim it as your own, or try to make money off it. If you want to repost it, just send me an E-mail if you want to translate it or post it on your site.
Comments and Creative Criticism are always welcome. Please send all E-mail to: willz@wpi.edu. No flames - we are all better than that.
Thanks: Special thanks goes to numerous people. I appreciate all the help everyone gave me, and I appreciate their letting me pester them a lot. Special thanks to Aisu, Dr. Geoduck, Xylis, LittlePriest, Zel-ouki, Big__D, Thoth_of_ND, Sethra_lavode, LedZepFan, Gendo_ohki, Taloon, Beagle-san and Kyokki, to name a few.
Dictionary:
Ok - an explanation first: I like the way certain words sound in other languages, so I opted to use those words instead of the English equivalent. They are listed below. Note: Asuka DOES use German occasionally in the sub/dubs, so I am going to keep that up here.
The words/phrases:
hentai, ecchi and sukebe - pervert or perverted (Japanese).
Arschloch - A-Hole (German).
Mein Gott! - My GOD! (German)
Dummkopf - Idiot or moron - literally translated as "stupid head" (German).
Baka - idiot, moron or jerk. The MOST versatile word in Asuka's Japanese dictionary!
Gomen (or Gomen Nasai) - I'm sorry (Japanese)
Note: "chan" at the end of names is used as a familiar title, or one of affection, and "sama" or "san" are ones of respect: the first is very respected, the latter is respect as equals.
Note: There is a German phrase near the end. Asuka says it in English right after. Thanks Dr Geoduck for the German refresher and translations!
Now, Will Z Presents:
She's Got a Way About Her
A Neon Genesis Evangelion fanfiction
Chapter One: Catalyst
Shinji Ikari turned off his SDAT player, sighing as he covered his head with his blankets. Once again, sleep was as fleeting as one of Asuka's moods; elusive when he needed it, and choosing to pummel him to the ground when he least needed or expected it. The thoughts of Asuka kept bullying themselves to the forefront, helping each little image of the redhead pull him further away from sleep.
He stared at the darkness, but that didn't help either, since he could practically hear her breathing in the room across the hall. Even when Misato snored loud enough to drown out the SDAT, he could hear her in his mind as if she were right beside him. Like that night... No. He was NOT going to go there again tonight!
What did she think of when she slept? What could he say to her to get her to... No. He was not going to tread these waters tonight: He wanted to sleep, or the synch tests would be a hell in and of themselves, which would disappoint Misato and Ritsuko, while Asuka would...
Frustrated, he got out of the bed, and went to get himself a can of tea to attempt to soothe his troubled, one-track mind.
Asuka quickly moved away from Shinji's door, as she heard his SDAT click off. Over the past few months, she had gotten better at picking out the sounds the little tape player and its owner made when she went to check on him. She remembered the first time she had been caught with mild dismay.
"Well," she had said, hoping the panicked flush on her face would be taken for anger, "I thought I heard you being perverted out here, so I figured I would come out here and kick your sorry hentai ass if that was the case."
Shinji just blushed and made his way to the bathroom.
She sighed as her thoughts snapped back to the present. On bare feet, she scurried to her room, silently closed the door behind her, and pulled the covers over herself in feigned sleep.
Heartbeats passed until she finally heard the sound of Shinji's door sliding open, followed by the scuff of his feet, ending with the sound her door being slid open a tiny bit. She closed her eyes, hoping that he wouldn't suspect she had been awake at all. It was so hard to keep from getting up and accusing him of spying on her, though. Maybe he had heard her, and thought someone was breaking in? She'd let it slide this time, unless he tried anything perverted.
Heartbeats more seemed to pass slowly before her door slid closed again, and Asuka could release a breath she didn't know she had been holding.
Her heart felt as if it would burst from her chest. What was she thinking, anyways? Did she really want to embarrass herself, being caught peeking on Shinji like that? Her cheeks felt flushed, so she snuggled herself deeper into her blankets, trying to hide her embarrassment from even herself.
Misato hobbled her way over to the kitchen, opened the fridge, and blinked as she saw Pen-Pen looking back at her with a surprised look. Before the penguin could wail a response and wake the kids, she grabbed the flightless bird by his beak.
"Here's the deal," she said, looking from side to side, "If you don't wake up the kids, I'll give you a beer. Deal?"
The penguin nodded enthusiastically, and waited patiently for Misato to get the beer out of the fridge. She opened one, and placed it so he could grab it in his beak.
If Misato had been looking as Pen-pen was, she would have seen Asuka get up from near Shinji's door, and quickly disappear into her room. Pen-pen drank his beer as Misato closed the door. She was so engrossed with just trying to make it to her room, that she didn't see Shinji come out of his room.
She was soundly asleep at her desk by the time Shinji opened the door on a very startled penguin.
"I'll give you one of Misato's beers, if you don't wake everyone up." Shinji told the bird as he kept Pen-pen's beak closed with one hand.
Pen-pen thought that this was, hands-down, one of the best nights he had had in a long time.
Morning started its usual somber way, with Shinji making breakfast before everyone else woke for the day. He stood silently, mixing the hot miso soup with a spoon while waiting for the rice cooker to announce it had accomplished its task in its annoyingly cheery tone. He barely wondered anymore how it was that he got less sleep than his other two roommates, and yet could be up earlier then either of them. He just took it as a fact of life as he continued preparing the day's repast.
As Misato, Pen-pen and Asuka made their way to the table, each sat in their respective places while he finished pouring the coffee for himself and Asuka. He placed a beer next to his guardian, and gave Pen-pen his usual fare of fish. The penguin looked up to the chef appreciatively, as Shinji took his seat at the table.
Misato let out a moan of pain, released her head, and popped the top off the beer. She tilted her head back, and poured the amber liquid right down her throat without swallowing. Shinji shivered as he watched Misato pull off the drinking trick: She must have been extremely hung-over if she couldn't muster the strength to swallow.
"Serves you right for drinking so much," Shinji said noncommittally.
"But I really need this drink! Honest!" came the reply as Misato slammed the can onto the table, and winced as it made a loud bang.
Shinji just gave her a skeptical look, and picked up his coffee. He took a drink.
"Well, you would need a drink or two, too, if you had to talk the Commander into decorating the Geofront for Christmas!" She complained, getting up for another beer.
Shinji did a spit-take like they do in those really old American cartoons. He realized that, to his chagrin, Asuka had done one as well, soaking his shirt with the dark brown liquid.
"Well, morale was low," Misato said, defensively as both himself and Asuka turned to look at the older woman, " and it is getting close to Christmas, so I..."
"So you what?" both of them said, giving her a rather pointed look.
"So, I... Oh, Pen-pen! Let me help you up!" Misato exclaimed, going to the aid of the arctic bird that had not been able to recover from his facefault. As Misato went over to help the unfortunate bird, Shinji had time to glance over to see Asuka's reaction.
That's when he noticed that she hadn't changed for school yet, and he could almost see through it at...
Shinji jumped up, raced to the kitchen, and got a towel for Asuka.
"Gomen nasai!" He cried on his return, tossing the towel onto a very surprised Asuka. He pushed her towards her room before she really thought of WHY he was reacting like this. He hoped he didn't have a nosebleed. He pushed a protesting Asuka into her room, and closed the door behind her with a sigh.
Feeling a bit more composed, Shinji made his way back to the table, to try to salvage his meal as he tried to ask Misato how on EARTH she had convinced his father to do anything like that in the first place.
Fortunately for him, Misato was having problems calming Pen-pen down enough to pick up the penguin, so she couldn't escape before answering his questions.
He returned to the table, and sat down, calmly taking another sip of coffee. His mind raced with how exactly to ask the older woman to explain herself, when Asuka suddenly slammed open her door, stormed out of her room, sat down, and demanded to know what drugs Misato had been taking.
Well, Shinji thought, that's one way of approaching the topic.
Misato looked at both Children warily, letting out a resigned sigh after a moment's pause. Asuka fumed as she waited for the explanation she was DUE, while Shinji just waited patiently. Misato was hesitant to say it, but it was times like this that Shinji reminded Misato too much of his father, though he would be extremely upset to hear so.
Taking a breath, Misato told them the story.
"Good morning," Misato said to the man in the commander's chair, "What is today's agenda, sir?"
"Synch tests, routine checks and inspections. The usual," came the reply, "Now we just have to hope there are no attacks today, and it will be a routine day."
"Sir, May I make a request?" Misato asked nervously. The older man picked up his coffee and waved his assent.
"Well," Misato said, "morale around here has been very low." She paused, taking a deep breath, "and since it IS close to Christmas..."
"Continue, Major," He said, taking a sip of his coffee.
"Well, since morale IS so low, and it IS close to Christmas... I would like permission to decorate the Geofront, Sir."
A fine mist of coffee sprayed through the air.
"Denied." came the answer.
"But Sir," Misato countered, "It IS Christmas, and everyone is so stressed about recent attacks. The effort would brighten everyone's spirits! Look at how low performance levels are!"
There was a moment of consideration, then a reply.
"Very well, but if performance doesn't increase, it's removed instantly."
"Thank you, Sir!"
"And that's it," Misato said, "The whole truth. Well, maybe not the spit-take part, but the rest is pretty much word-for-word."
"I don't know," Shinji said skeptically, "It still doesn't sound right."
Misato considered a moment.
"Well, it doesn't sound like the commander at all, since he wasn't behind his desk, so it must have been Fuyutsuki."
Shinji just sighed.
"Why do I think that this plan of hers is going to be a disaster?" Asuka said to
Pen-pen, as both of them picked themselves up off the floor. Pen-pen could only nod his agreement.
Thankfully, there were no incidents on their way to school, so Shinji and Asuka had a rather quiet walk.
... Or rather: as quiet of a walk that could be had in the company of one Sohryu Asuka Langley.
"BAKA HENTAI!" Asuka shrieked, punting Shinji into the garbage cans "Stop looking at me like that!"
"But," Shinji said, confused, "I wasn't even looking at you!"
"You were ogling me out of the corner of your eye!"
Shinji just sighed, resigning himself to the fact that he couldn't win this argument. If he said he wasn't looking because she was behind him, she'd use it as proof that he WAS peeking, and if he said he was peeking, but saw nothing of interest, she'd maul him for the insult.
He decided to be silent, and thus save himself any more headaches before school started.
When he finally arrived at school, he let Asuka go on towards the classroom, while he stopped off at the boy's restroom to clean up the garbage that was still on his clothing. He was surprised to see that part of what was smeared into his pants looked like pieces of tinsel, probably from someone cleaning out their old Christmas ornaments for new.
"Don't do anything perverted in there, Baka." She said, sticking her tongue out at him, and pulling down her lower right eyelid with a forefinger.
He really hated it when she made the "neener" face at him.
Asuka walked into mayhem. There was no other word to describe the way her classmates seemed to move from one cluster of students to the next. Some were pointing, some were laughing, others were arguing, and then they would all shift to yet a different group. She had never seen the class as a whole this active, especially first thing in the morning.
She blinked, and focused on the largest group. In the center was Kensuke, typing away at his computer, while grinning that maniacal grin of his that everyone knew meant trouble in one way or another.
She was so surprised, that she forgot to announce to them the pleasure of being graced by her presence. Oddly, it had the same affect, as all of the groups stopped what they were doing and stared at her.
"So. Now that you've been blessed with my presence," She said, raising her nose in the air in a dignified manner, "What the Hell is going on here?"
Hikari, the Class Representative, quickly made her way over to Asuka with a delighted look on her lightly freckled face. The brunette beamed and Asuka found herself smiling back, though she was still curious as to what all the commotion was for.
"Kensuke found out that Nerv is going to decorate the Geofront," She said, her eyes gleaming.
"I know." Asuka said, perplexed, "So what is the big deal?"
"They are going to let the students decorate it!"
Asuka picked herself off the floor. Why hadn't Misato told them about this at breakfast? She thought of ways that she'd make the Third Child suffer, if he had made her miss important information.
Asuka was about to begin interrogating Hikari, when Shinji decided to make his entrance into the classroom, altering the redhead's focus from one prey to a newer one.
Before she could strike, though, the other two stooges grabbed him, and dragged him into the corner furthest from the now-seething Asuka.
Shinji blinked again in surprise at his two friends. Did they really think that he could do such an incredible feat? Granted, he could pilot an Eva, but THIS?!? His friends must have suffered simultaneous brain hemorrhages to even think this up!
"No." he repeated, taking his eyes off them long enough to look at a certain redhead warily.
"But you two are practically married as it is!" Touji complained.
"We need you two! Rei already agreed and got the synch test postponed, and Hikari can get..." Kensuke began
"No." Shinji said again, his voice wavering. Granted, it sounded fun, but there was a catch: Convincing Asuka to go along with it in the first place.
Either way, he was dead, thanks to the mad plans of his companions. Shinji knew that Touji liked the Class Rep, but why on Earth was Kensuke offering to partner with Rei? And why was this meeting at the karaoke bar so important, anyways? Kensuke said it was to keep them from listening on bugs, but then again, Kensuke WAS paranoid.
The whole thing just didn't add up, and it made Shinji very nervous.
Asuka watched the Three Stooges with trepidation. She could bet that they were talking about disgusting tentacle hentai or about how Shinji stares at herself and Misato.
Whatever it was, she could see Shinji look over at her several times, blushing furiously as he shook his head "no", before finally slumping his shoulders, and nodding an affirmative to the other two Stooges, who seemed elated that the baka hentai finally agreed to their latest plan of stupidity.
She was about to go over to them to unleash her fury, but at that moment the teacher decided to enter the room, spoiling the chance.
Sheisse! She muttered. Justice shall have to wait 'til after school, then!
She sat down, watching the Baka Hentai take his own seat from the corner of her eye. He looked like he was going off to fight an angel. It served him right, if he was telling Touji and Kensuke lies about her.
Hikari led the class in the morning routine like she did every morning. Asuka was wondering why the Japanese had to do things in such routine. Didn't it make their lives boring? After all this time, she STILL couldn't comprehend how these boring routines made anyone a better student. Ignoring the teacher's droning, She began to plot her revenge against the Three Stooges.
Shinji barely heard what the teacher said. His mind was spinning with ways to try to get Asuka to even consider this hare-brained idea his cohorts came up with. Granted, Touji did like the Class Rep, but Kensuke's feeble excuse to be there for his best friend fell very short of plausible.
He thought about what Kensuke and Touji were up to, ignoring the Teacher's litany about the project, the pairings and the time in which they had to work on said projects; Kensuke had provided very exact information in a very short time, and yet, this "Date" seemed less spontaneous than Misato's pet project. Maybe this little project only added to their plan, making it easier to rope him in?
He could feel the panic growing. How WAS he going to convince Asuka to accompany him and the others to the karaoke bar?
A flash on his data pad caught his attention. The blue and gray flashing box let him know that he had received a message from Asuka. He looked up, and noticed her glaring at him with a frown on her face.
Sweating, he looked at the message.
Baka. If you're going to think perverted things, at least wait until you're out of class!
Shinji blinked, trying to think of a reply. He saw Asuka grin, returning her attention to the teacher's litany. He thought a minute then fired off a message. He hoped the annoyance with which he said it was conveyed to it's recipient.
Actually, I was just wondering why Touji and Kensuke wanted you to join our project group.
A moment later, he saw her peek out of the corner of her eye, grin, and start typing. A moment later her reply printed itself onto his screen.
Maybe they want to have someone with brains in the group, or they want me there to keep you from trying to hit on their dates, baka. Very well, for Hikari's sake, I accept.
Shinji just stared at the screen, nonplussed. Not only had she countered the jab, she had replied with a retort AND her acceptance! He looked up and was about to smile, until he saw the look of doom on Asuka's face. His hopes that this was going to be a pleasant change from her normal self fell along with his expression.
Asuka turned around, frowning. Didn't the baka understand anything? That look on his face made this "date" seem more like a chore for him, than something enjoyable. What else did she have to do to get him to understand that here she was, letting him know she would let them be graced with her presence, and he STILL didn't get it!
Not that it WAS a "date", but knowing the Three Stooges, anything was extremely plausible. It wasn't like she wanted to go out with him like that, but he WAS extremely fun to torment. She knew what this was about, now: the other two Stooges were using him and her to get their own prospective dates! For the sake of her good friend Hikari, she would suffer that baka's boring presence. With a grin, she began forming ideas. She was NOT going to let those idiots screw up a potentially fun night!
Shinji walked alongside Asuka silently, trying hard to think of something - anything - that he could say to her to get her to respond to him. The silence seemed to press down on him, and he found that saying something became harder and harder to do with each step.
He mulled it over in his mind a moment more, and decided he could try to start idle conversation. What was the worst that could happen, anyways?
"Um..." He began, his face starting to burn with embarrassment. Before he realized it, Asuka stopped, grabbed him, and gave him a cross-body toss, right into the dumpster on her left.
"Baka!" she screamed at him, her blue eyes blazing. Well, now he knew the "worst that could happen" really stank.
"What was that for?" He asked, trying to get away from the smell of rotten fruit and meats. It WOULD have to be a seafood restaurant they were passing when she lost her temper.
"For earlier today," She said, tilting her nose to the air, and looking at him from the corner of her eye.
"What did I do?"
"If you don't know," she said, giving him the "neener" gesture, "then you are even more of a baka than I thought you were!"
With those words, Shinji was left there to stare at Asuka's retreating back as he struggled to get out of the offal.
A good shower did nothing to ease his nerves. He and Asuka were supposed to meet the others at the karaoke bar at 8:00 p.m. sharp. Asuka hadn't left her room since they returned home. Maybe he should check on her, but he just didn't know anymore.
Ignoring the part of him that wanted nothing to do with her at the moment, he stopped next to her door. He could almost swear that he heard her feet scurrying away from the door, but he couldn't be sure. Shrugging it off, Shinji entered his room, closing the sliding door behind him.
He never heard Asuka's door open as he started to dry off, humming part of a Christmas tune he had heard after being deposited into the dumpster.
**
OMAKE!
Time to take out the garbage!
Shinji looked around, feeling hunted. Ever since yesterday, Asuka had found a new way to torture
him. It scared him so much, he wouldn't go near her unless forced. First had been the
dumpsters, then she stuffed his head in the waste bin at home, and now..
"Oh, Shinji!" Came the much-hated voice. She was teasing him! He couldn't stand it anymore!
Silently, he hid in the compactor, avoiding her eyes. He would have hated himself, if he would
have thought of the irony.
"Oh, well," Asuka sighed, leaning on the compactor's "start" button. "He's not around.. I guess I'll
go get ice cream on my own."
Shinji barely heard though: Cursing his luck, he awaited his death at the hands of his beloved...