Chapter Seven

"I'm sorry Chris…" I far off voice wept.

I opened my eyes hesitantly, "Goombuckle?"

I was lying on a mattress in an old, worn room. There was a blanket pulled over me and a soft down pillow under my head. The window across from me was open to the warm summer air. I could smell some kind of soup near by. The pillow had a familiar smell, the smell of dozens of different people.

I sat up in bed and looked sleepily around. I couldn't remember how I had got there and looked around the room trying to figure it out. I figured that I was in an inn somewhere; not that did me much good. I stepped out of bed and over to the window. I didn't recognize the town out side.

Then it hit me. I remembered everything that had happened in the past couple of days and I knew why I wasn't back at the old farm. But that didn't change the fact that I didn't know where I was. As I was going through my stuff to make sure it was all present and accounted for I heard the door open.

I turned and yelped in surprise which caused the intruder to do so as well. To my… less than pleasant surprise it was Cantrol. His hand was on his spear and his eyes were wide. My hand was on my knife and I looked at him through slits. After a moment of staring at each other we relaxed and I walked over to the bowl of soup that was sitting on a table in the corner.

"Hey! That's mine!" Cantrol yelped as I picked the bowl up and raised it to my mouth.

"Why'd you leave it in my room then?" I asked, a bit annoyed.

"Your room? Who do you think paid for this room?"

"Let me guess, you did? With some of the money your father gave you?" Maybe I was a bit harsh, but even after that nap I was a bit aggravated by him. My stomach was also empty, which added to the problem.

Cantrol gawked for a moment then raised himself up to his full, still adolescent, height. "I'll have you know that my father does not give me any money! I have worked hard for all the money I have!"

I looked him over again. He was wearing a chain shirt that was shiny and his spear was definitely painstakingly wrought. His belt was custom made with an odd depiction of a crescent moon made of what I guessed was silver. His boots were sturdy and appeared capable of holding up well if he were to actually use them.

I shook my head in disbelief and let out a breath of air. "Sure, I'm sure you have." I put the bowl on the table and walked towards him.

"Really! I'm telling you I paid for all this with my own money!"

"Right," I nodded to myself as I walked by him, "with your money that your father gave you."

"You little obnoxious girl! My father never gave me any money!"

I stopped in the doorway. "What?"

"My father never gave me any money!"

"No! The first part you idiot!"

He realized that I had taken offense to it and decided to use it to his advantage. "I said, 'You little… obnoxious… girl…," he sneered.

With some effort I restrained myself. I kept my eyes glued on his in a competition of will. He, unfortunately, did not understand what was going on and was soon looking over at his soup bowl and later out the window. It made my blood boil that he would be so… so… disrespectful.

"I suppose that it's better to be a little obnoxious girl than a stuck up, spoil child," I spat.

That brought his attention back to the matter at hand. His eyes flared with anger. "At least I'm not thick-headed!"

"At least I'm not a liar!"
"At least I don't look like a bum!"

I was about to defend vagabonds but there was a loud thud on the floor in the doorway. We both looked over and saw a monster of a man standing there. He was bigger than the doorway and had a low-hung forehead. His clothing was all fur and he had a very large scar down his chest. He didn't look angry or intelligent.

"You quite," he demanded in a monotone voice.

Cantrol and I nodded and he walked back down the hall.

"See what you did!" Cantrol whispered.

"What I did! You were the one-" I began to retort.

Cantrol shushed me and put his finger on his lip. I was a bit more annoyed because he was being louder with his shushing than I had been talking. But I did not want to become re-acquainted with the big guy so I shut my jaw tight and left the room.

On my way out I heard Cantrol's bowl jingle and soon Cantrol was walking with me. I walked out the door on the first floor and into the streets. Cantrol was just now finishing his bowl and put it away in a bag he must have taken out of the room.

"Where's Goombuckle?"

Cantrol threw up his hands. "See, you're a trouble maker. After finishing my breakfast I was feeling fine and happy. Heck, I was going to try to start over with you again. You know, get off with a clean slate. But no, you just have to cause some kind of problems."

I stopped and turned to him. "Cantrol, where is Goombuckle?" I asked again though I had already guessed at the answer.

Cantrol sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. "He left us here."

I suppressed the panic that had been bubbling up inside of me since I had heard the voice. I took a deep breath and continued on. "Why did he leave us?"

"He decided that it would be too dangerous for us." Cantrol kicked at the ground. "I wish he would have let me come along. I'm tired of all this boring stuff."

I looked dejectedly at the dirt. "He said that he'd come back to us, right?"

"He really didn't say much. It's really dangerous where he's going."

My heart was picking up pace now. I felt my throat tighten up and my breath quicken a bit in response. "Where'd he go?"

"I'm not entirely sure and I don't think I'd like to tell you," I didn't see him do it, but I knew that he was smirking at the fact that he knew something I didn't.

I didn't care about his taunts, I cared that he wasn't telling me. But I couldn't even dwell on that. My mind was darting to and fro too quickly. I was unable to focus on anything. At length I heard Cantrol again.

"Hey, are you okay?" His voice was not the snobbish tone I had first been introduced to. It was concerned and a bit scared.

I didn't answer him. I couldn't. I wasn't thinking. I wasn't sure if I was walking anymore or if I was even in the streets. I saw nothing. My mind was rending itself.

How could he leave me? He said that he'd… He said I was…

"Hey, maybe you should sit down."

He's left me… He's gone forever… He was like everyone else…

"Whoa, whoa! Watch yourself!" The far off voice called. I felt a warm arm loop beneath my two and around my back.

Who was that? Was that Goombuckle? Did he come back?

There was a buzzing in my head. A swirl of voices and cries. Then I felt something in my hand. I felt it and realized that it was two things. Two different things. One rough and pointed. The other smooth and curved. A picture came into my head. Along with it was an idea. No, not an idea. A concept really. A concept I had enjoyed only once since I was ten.

"Goombuckle?"

…
It seems that the majority of time that I fall asleep I awake in a new place. This time was no exception. I came out of the darkness into a white room with white bed sheets and a white pillow. The pillow held the smell of wild flowers.

I panicked and sat right up in bed; again, a tendency I was prone to do. I was wearing a long, white nightgown. I pressed down with my right hand to get out of bed and winced. I lifted it up and looked at it. There were small cuts in it.

I heard a door open and a voice cry out.

"Oh, thank Larethian! You're up!"
I turned and saw Cantrol standing in the doorway with a middle-aged man that did not appear to be human. Cantrol rushed over to my bed and pushed me back down.

"Hey!"

"Shh! Mr. Lotusiat told me that I should make sure you rest. You scared spirit out of me back there. Sheesh, Goombuckle would have my head if you died," his voice carried a disdainful tone.

He pulled the blankets up to my chin and shoved them beneath my shoulders. I tried to get up again and tried to argue but he kept shushing me and held me down. Finally the man came over and laid a hand on Cantrol's shoulder. Cantrol and I stopped and looked at him.

"Quite now. The more you wrestle with her, the worse she may get. Calm down a bit. It's going to be fine. Let her sit up if she wants to." Cantrol took a step back. "I know you mean well but you don't really know how to help. You may go sit outside for a while. I'll be right out after I talk with her for a moment. Go on."

Cantrol slowly turned and walked out the door. The man turned back to me and smiled softly. He sat down in a chair next to the bed and put his hand on my forehead.

"You seem to be coming along pretty well. Quite a nasty spell you fought off. You've got quite the resilience," he said as he turned my head this way and that and opened my mouth, then shut it and pulled my eye lids up and peered deeply into my eyes.

"I was under a spell?" I yelped in fear.

"No, no. Not a magical spell like you are thinking. I simply meant that you were sick. But now you seem just about well. A little more sleep and you'll be good as new."

"Thank you," I said, not knowing why.

"You don't need to thank me. Goombuckle was a good friend of mine. He is a good man."

"Do you know where he is?" I asked quickly.

The man smiled at me sadly. "He is… on a long, dangerous journey. I can only hope that he will return unscathed." He paused. "I probably shouldn't have told you that. As I understand it you two were very close."

"He's not coming back?" I felt water spring up in my eyes.

"Now, now, I didn't say that. He is strong, he'll probably make it back alright." I sniffled. "Here, child, Cantrol told me that Goombuckle left these for you."

He held out his hand and displayed a small, metal horse and a small, wooden star. I took them gingerly out of his hand and fingered them. I wiped the tears from my eyes and felt a wave of relief wash over my body. I laid closed my eyes and griped them, keeping them from anyone's grasp.

"Please don't fall asleep with them like that." I opened my eyes and looked at him questioningly. "It took both Cantrol and I working together to get them out of your hand last time. That's where the cuts are from." He chuckled. "Never knew anyone to have quite a grip." He looked out the open window and sighed. "Well, I must be off now. Please rest a little while I'm away. I'll see to it you aren't interrupted."

"Sir, you aren't a human either, are you?"

Mr. Lotusiat laughed as he moved the chair away from the bed and against the wall. "You are sharp aren't you?" he teased. "I suppose most of you children who were born here don't know what it's like to be in a population with other races. No, I'm not human. I am an elf." He gave a deep bow and smiled again at me.

I rumpled my eyebrows. I had heard that there were lots of elves in Palané, but didn't know much else. I wondered if they were just tall gnomes. I didn't voice my proposal and silently watched him leave.

I fingered the horse and star. The only good this did was to cause me to think about how Goombuckle used to do that. I quickly put them on the table next to the bed, closed my eyes, and fell asleep before I could start thinking about that.

…

When I awoke again I found a new set of clothes on the chair next to the table. I sat there looking at them for a while, then dared to put them on. They were a little big for me. Not quite as big on me as Michelle's clothes had been, but I was still forced to wear a belt with them.

The pants were made of a smooth, very light tan fabric and scrunched up at my ankles. It wasn't bad enough that it got in the way so I left the pant legs uncuffed. I didn't bother tucking in the shirt because, once again, it wasn't big enough to get in the way. It was made of a lighter material and pure white. There were embroideries on the sleeves made with green thread. I assumed the characters were from the elven alphabet. I actually liked the length of the sleeves. They came down far enough that I could barely see my finger tips if I extended my fingers. I knew that that would be useful. There was a pair of leather sandals that completed the outfit.

I stepped out of my room and looked both ways down the hall. Since I did not know anything about where I was I decided that it would be easier to find Cantrol if I went towards the screaming, aggressive voices I heard to my left. I made a couple turns and finally came to a hallway that had windows on one side. The windows looked out into a dirt yard. The yard was occupied by a number of men and children dressed in light armor wielding weapons. Some had dulled rapiers while others had wooden swords. I looked them over and decided that they all looked like Mr. Lotusiat and therefore were probably elves. One person who stood out from the bunch was a young human wielding a very big staff. He turned to strike his opponent and I recognized him as Cantrol.

Content that I had found my query, I walked through the door at the end of the hall and outside. Everyone stopped and looked at me as I walked out. Well, most everyone that is. Cantrol was still swinging away at his opponent. I didn't pay any attention to the people who were staring at me, though. I walked across the court and ignored their gawking presence.

I watched as Cantrol attacked fiercely and recklessly. I was amused at the verve with which he pressed on against his opponent. I noticed that the man didn't share my sentiments. He was barely able to fend off each attack. He kept a solemn face but I could tell that he thought there was something wrong with Cantrol. I now knew that I could beat Cantrol if I so needed to. While I had been with Philippe I had seen him swing a staff he had snagged off of a fallen foe. He had always swung it horizontally or sometimes vertically. Cantrol was not using it that way. For the majority of his attacks, he plunged it forward at the opponent. I supposed that he had been using a spear for too long to pick such a simple fighting style as the staff up.

His opponent finally fell backwards from Cantrol fury. Cantrol stopped the attacks and leaned wearily on his long staff. His opponent, after a few breaths, looked up and saw me standing behind Cantrol. Cantrol noticed that the man was not looking at him and turned to see what was more important. He stopped his breathing and opened his eyes wide.

After turning looking at how all the other men watched me he tossed down his staff angrily. "What are you doing here!" He grabbed my shoulder and spun me around. "You shouldn't be here!"

"I don't need any more rest, Cantrol," I argued as he started pushing me along.

"It's not just that." He came near to jogging me the door.

"Then what is it?"

We got to the door and I opened it. Cantrol gave me a little shove into the hallway and quickly closed the door behind him. He turned back and glared at me.

"This is not just a church. It is also a monastery," his voice was lowered to a rushed wisper. "This monastery is for males only. Mr. Lotusiat says that it's supposed to help the members focus more. The main idea for the monks here is to have no yearning for earthly possessions. They only see maybe two or three women a year. And," he tugged on the back of my shirt which made the front be pulled up to my throat, "they all dress very modestly."

"Hey! For one, it's not like anyone warned me! And secondly, I didn't pick these clothes out!" I made sure to keep my voice down as to not disturb any of the monks.

"Well, for one, you would have found out if you would have just rested longer like you should! And secondly, if you didn't like them you would have put on your old clothes that were lying right next to them!"

I couldn't argue with the second point but that wouldn't stop me from continuing with the first. "I don't need any more rest! I'm fine! There's nothing wrong with me! You don't have to act like you're my big brother or something!" Inside I was taken aback that I had compared him to a family member, considering that I had started caring about family members more since I had accepted Goombuckle as a father.

Cantrol didn't take much note of his supposed status. "If you weren't Goombuckle's daughter, I wouldn't. But as it is, I am bond by honor to take care of your-"

"That's enough Cantrol," a small yet powerful whisper commanded.

Cantrol snapped his body into a rigid alignment. "Mr. Lotusiat! I um… I mean-"

"Cantrol," Mr. Lotusiat said again, effectively silencing Cantrol. "I do believe that you now see why I deny you your rank. You have been the steward of Sir Dorvak for the past two years and yet you've learned virtually nothing."

Cantrol's shoulders slumped at this. I was considering leaving but Mr. Lotusiat looked straight at me when I started to move and it was enough to freeze me.

"You've learned to fight," continued Mr. Lotusiat, "you've learned to give homage, and you've learned how to act in the face of aristocrats. Yet you haven't learned the most important things. You haven't learned quietness, you haven't truly learned charity, you haven't learned humbleness, and you haven't learned purity. You are always making exceptions and trying to find ways around things you don't want to do. If you wish to become a holy knight, then you must learn to stop caring about yourself. Your god, the law, the poor, the innocent; these should be your only concerns. I will never knight you Cantrol, not until you have truly found the meaning of these things and have proven it in ways that in turn prove your soul."

Cantrol's head had slowly been lowing over the length of this tirade. Upon the ultimatum his whole body seemed to lose it's strength and he slumped against the wall. His eyes were wide and stared off through the ground.

After a very long, and very uncomfortable for myself, silence, during which not a speck of dust moved, a sound came from Cantrol's voice. It started with a short gasp and continued with a disheartened voice.

"How do I begin?" Cantrol whispered in between gasps.

I expected Mr. Lotusiat's face to soften in sympathy, but it remained as chiseled as stone. He let Cantrol wallow in silence for a moment more before speaking. "You may start," he said, placing emphasis on 'start', "by showing goodwill towards Ms. Chris, here, and by protecting and serving her whenever she may need it." He turned and looked at me with a stern face. I did my best to keep my emotions veiled. I don't think that it kept Mr. Lotusiat from seeing through me. "And you will do this neither because of honor nor because of the rank you desire. I trust that I am well understood?" Cantrol's head gave a slight movement. "Good. Ms. Chris," he turned his attention to me, "you are free to walk the grounds as you wish. I hope that you'll find this place comfortable and open."

With a final nod he exited and I looked cautiously towards Cantrol. He said nothing and made no movement. I couldn't think of anything to say to him, so we stood around for several minutes in silence. I didn't like this much. I really hadn't liked Cantrol following me around before. Now he had orders to do it and that made it even worse. I doubted if I would ever get a chance to do what I had liked to do again. With Cantrol always watching over me it would be a lot harder to lift some money if I wanted something fun to do. I couldn't very well sneak around either. How could I possibly occupy myself? I thought that perhaps Mr. Lotusiat had expected me of being a thief and this was his way to "kill two birds with one stone", as the saying goes.