Fighting Fire with Kindling
By kiragecko

Part 2

"Jeannie, don't."

"What do you mean?"

"I can't take this, Red. I don' know if yer a dream or a shapeshifter or simply playin' a real cruel joke but I can't take this. Go back to the mansion."

"You told me you loved me."

"I do! And you made yer choice so don' do this tah me!"

"I love you, Logan. I have for a long time. Scott can survive without me now. I'm not coming back and starting this again. He knows, Logan. I said goodbye. I'm following my heart now, not my mind."

His head sinks into his hands and he hopes that this will be enough to throw him over the edge when he wakes up. He's tired of the emptiness. He wants the release that the beast gives. He doesn't want to dream at night of women he loved and failed. The dream won't end until he's given in, of course. Then she'll die, perhaps on his claws. And he'll jerk awake and scream into the night and maybe he'll finally break. He turns to his dream.

"You tellin' me the truth, Jeanie?"

They sit outside because the cabin is disgusting. He weighs less then she remembers and his eyes are hollow. Everything smells of alcohol. He also thinks he's dreaming, which upsets her. Why can't he imagine that she loves him as much as he loves her? She wants to run. This is going wrong and she's not sure if she can handle it. She's had so many dreams of him sweeping her off her feet, of them passionately embracing, of riding off into the sunset. Sitting on his steps while he waits to wake up isn't what she was hoping for. She turns to him and the despair nearly drowns her. He's given up. The strongest man she's ever met has given up. She fights the urge to cry.

He dresses up quite nicely. The suit is blue, but it's a dark blue, not the seventies powder blue she was expecting. He opens the door for her and bows, a slightly mocking grin on his face. Who he's mocking, she's not sure.

She accepted his offer because he's right, she does need to get out of the Mansion. She was going to leave for good but… she has nowhere to go. This was her final chance to teach, her final hope that she wouldn't fail. If she leaves she'll never be able to start again. Too much will have been left behind with her students.

The drive to town is quiet. Neither of them is good at talking without a hidden barb. She finally gives in. She can't think of anything nice to say but saying nothing at all it becoming intolerable. She's had too much silence these last couple days.

"How long HAS it been since your last date?"

He looks at her for a while and then decides to say the truth. For some reason she feels privileged.

"A couple months. I dated Ororo about a year back. We broke up… when I started turning to ice. I guess I started avoiding her. Afterwards… well you've tried kissing a frozen flagpole, haven't you? So it was over. She hasn't been back since M Day and, well, we've both moved on."

Emma stares. He laughs.

"We didn't tell anyone, of course. That bothered her, but not as much as the comments would have. For some reason she thought people would be happy for us!"

Bobby laughs again and she understands the bitterness a little more. She can imagine what they would have thought. She doesn't know why anyone stays here. She at least has the children. Does he have anyone?

Logan watches her. That tiny flicker of hope that he couldn't destroy is flaring up again. It isn't her movements or actions, he's dreamed those before, it's her smell. He can barely sense it beneath the reek of alcohol. He's never dreamed her without her scent, rich and enveloping. He's never dreamed this woozy light-headedness or the slow ache of an overtaxed healing factor, either.

"Why me?"

"I LOVE you, Logan."

"You love Scott."

"I said goodbye to Scott before I died. I told him to move on. We're over, Logan. We have been for quite some time."

"Why me? You've always turned me down, Jeanie. You laughed and tol' me your heart was giv'n to someone else."

"It was. He needed it. He needed it to lead us. He needed someone to hold onto. But he grew up! Somewhere down the line he didn't need me anymore and I could finally think about what I WANTED, not what he needed. I want you, Logan. I've always wanted you."

He gives in then. Dream or reality, this is what HE'S always wanted. He smiles at her and doesn't bother with words.

It's finally going right, she thinks absently, before she stops thinking altogether

The date is actually going quite well. The restaurant is classy and the food is skillfully prepared. He's doing most of the talking but that's alright, she doesn't feel like talking anyways. It's so nice to find someone willing to speak to her that he could be talking about Saturday morning cartoons and she wouldn't mind. He isn't though. The topic has ranged wildly - from the difference in texture between swimming in normal temperature water and subzero water to Hank's Foolproof Way of Choosing the Best Wine. No cartoons or comic books, though. She wonders when he grew out of them and how long people have been assuming he hasn't. Or maybe he just has enough sense not to mention such things to her.

As they sip wine (it is superb, Hank might be on to something) she asks him what he has planned now. The Opera, a movie?

"To much of a good thing. I was planning on taking you home. Anyways, there's nothing good on. The Magic Flute and Vice City 2."

She smiles again. She's been doing that a lot this evening. He's casual and expects nothing from her. He's going to take her home like a gentleman and open the door for her as she goes inside. Emma's not sure if anyone has ever treated her like that. Maybe it's the dress - the only skin showing is her arms. If he actually plans on leaving her at the door and not even looking around inside…

He does. He opens the door and bows again, he wishes her a good night; he doesn't even wait in the hope of a kiss. What did he want? Could it actually be that he wanted her company?

'See, there you go doing it again. Thinking I'm human! What a novel idea. We really should have such conversations more often.'

She remembers the words and wonders. Surely SHE isn't the nicest person he knows. He's a wonderful man - thoughtful, kind, and remarkably free of psychoses for someone who started getting beat up by supervillians at fourteen. Surely other people see that?