Sorry folks but work (2 trips in 3 weeks) has had an adverse effect on my ability to update this story, please forgive me. Please review and comment …
Two and a half weeks later …
The Manhattan corporate offices of Ralph Lauren …
It is 8:30 at night …
"Are you almost finished?" She asked.
"Yes. That's it, the report is finished. Now all I have to do is print it and we can go home."
"So Rachel, how have things been since you moved back in with Ross?"
"Things have been wonderful, Sophie. I'm so happy that I moved back in with him."
"How did your roommate Phoebe handle the move?"
"Well, her apartment was finally repaired a week ago so it was time for her to move out of Ross's apartment. At that point I decided to stay with him instead of moving back with her. She understood."
"So how is Ross handling you working all of these late-night projects? Do you remember when we both worked at Bloomingdales? Remember how jealous and out of sorts he got before your breakup, when you had to work late?"
She thought for a moment …
"You know Sophie, we really haven't talked about it."
Rachel looked down and wondered. She really had no idea as to how he was dealing with not seeing her during these busy weeks. Her thoughts turned to concern … Sophie interjected …
"Rachel, do you remember all of those crazy romantic things Ross did when you were together and you had to work late? The flowers, the food. You miss it, don't you?"
Rachel remembered …
She recalled all the irrational and possessive things that he used to do. She'd tell him not to come in to work … he came anyway. The flowers, the presents, the food … she did not miss his insecurity but she did miss his attention. She couldn't recall ever feeling that way before and since. He was so jealous and domineering yet his actions made her feel appreciated and wanted.
"Sophie, yes, I miss the attention. What I don't miss is his insecurity and possessiveness. Do you remember how crazy he was at the time?"
Sophie thought for a moment and smiled. She responded …
"Sure, I remember …"
She paused, making Rachel curious.
"What Sophie? What's wrong?"
"… I … I just can't imagine someone ever feeling that way about me. To be so crazy in love with me and to do those things that he did for you. He must really have loved you back then."
Rachel froze. She stared deeply into the eyes of her friend. Sophie's face presented her with a new perspective, one so diametrically opposite to how she had felt then. She gazed into the soul of a woman who would have given anything to be the center of someone's attention. To be showered with a man's affections, his time and his gifts. She would gladly have been smothered by him.
"I'm sorry Sophie, you'll find someone, you will, I'm sure you will."
"Please Rachel, don't patronize me. I'm not hurt or upset. On the contrary, I'm surprised and happy for you. You found your man not one but twice. All I could think about when you told me about you and Ross was that you were getting something that most people would die for … another chance. The big difference between then and now is that Ross doesn't seem to be possessive, he's not fawning all over you."
There it was again, that nagging feeling that something was missing, that something was not right. Why wasn't he paying her more attention to her? She missed it; she had to go home to see him.
"Sophie, I'm going home. I'll see you tomorrow. Bye …"
Rachel set off in a rush to the elevator … she had to talk to him.
The air smelled of roses, the lights were dimmed. The room was illuminated only by a few strategically placed candles. The water felt just right; it was neither too hot nor cold. He held his head just above the waterline, allowing the bath salts to do their magic on his tired body. He was almost asleep when she got in with him. Her feet touched his legs as she sat down across from him in the tub …
"Ah, the water is perfect!'
"Yeah, it is. It feels so good I had almost fallen asleep."
There she sat, the woman he loved. He could hardly see her though the suds and bubbles in the tub. He gently pushed them away so as to see her face.
"Hey."
"Hi."
"How was your day?"
"It was tiring. I had to work late. How was yours?"
"It was just another day in the salt mines." He replied, trying to find the opportunity that he had been looking for. The current situation seemed perfect …
"So, did you talk to your parents today?"
"Yeah, Dad's doing OK but I'm concerned about Mom …"
"Why, what did she say?" He asked, concerned.
"It's not what she said; it's what my father said. He's noticed that she's having some trouble putting coherent sentences together. She will start a conversation, get halfway through and then totally forget what she was talking about."
"Oh, is that all? That's normal. It happens to me all the time."
"Chandler, it's not normal. Mom never used to have problems remembering things or being able to talk effectively. I'm worried."
He had been offered the opportunity; it was time to take it …
"Monica, I've got a surprise for you."
"What, what is it?"
"You'll have to close your eyes first."
"OK, wait a minute; you're not going to pull one of your practical jokes on me are you?"
"Would I do that?" He asked.
"In a minute!" She replied.
"I promise this is no joke. I bought you something and I wanted to surprise you with it. If you don't like it you can return it, I promise."
"Alright, but this better not be one of your jokes …" She replied as she closed her eyes.
With her eyes closed all she could do was hear him, making noise and feeling the water fall and rise again as he left and then re-entered the tub. Quiet, it got very quiet. Not a sound could be heard. The water became still … and then an object, floated across the water, gently touched her neck. She opened her eyes … it was one of Chandler's plastic ships that she had bought him to play with when taking a bath, but this one was different …
Tears, tears came to her eyes as she quickly realized what it had all been about. Tied to the model was the most beautiful diamond ring …
"You can return it if you don't like it." He said.
She couldn't answer, she was speechless. He knew what her answer would be. It was time to ask the question …
He picked up the model and untied the ring. Taking her hand he started …
"Monica, you are my best friend. A friend is one who knows who you are, understands where you have been, accepts what you have become, and still gently allows you to grow. You have been all these things to me … and more. I ask only one other thing of you now, please be my wife."
She had cried so much the last few months she was sure she was out of tears … she was wrong. She cried so much that Chandler thought the tub would overflow onto the bathroom floor. The sadness of the recent past was replaced, at least for the moment by the promise of a future lifetime with the man she loved. Her tears were not of sadness but of unending joy …
"Yes. Yes Chandler I will marry you."
And the water overflowed the tub as she attacked not her boyfriend but her fiancé.
As she approached the door she wondered, wondered what was happening on the other side. She wished she had the ability to see through doors, but she didn't. She took in a deep breath and inserted her key. Opening the door she found the apartment bathed in darkness, the only light coming from the moonlight shining through the window. Slowly she entered and closed the door. She wondered where he could be at this late hour. "Perhaps he's at his sister's." She thought. Instinctively she inched her way over to the end table to retrieve the phone. Instead her knee made full impact with the side of the couch …
"Ouch!"
"Hey." Came a voice from the far side of the room. It was him.
"Ross, where are you?"
"I'm over by the window. Throw your stuff down and come over and sit with me."
As if by his command she did as he asked. She slowly edged her way around the couch. As her eyes became accustomed to the darkness she was finally able to see his silhouette against the moonlight. She moved to his chair, gently touching his shoulder.
Feeling her touch he lifted his hand and took hers in his. Pulling her forward he gently placed her across his lap. Once settled, he reached his left hand down to her feet, removing her shoes and gently rubbing the stress of the day from her feet.
"That feels so good …"
He said nothing. She was concerned …
"Ross, why were you sitting here in the dark, all by yourself?"
Again he said nothing.
Time passed. He spoke …
"Rachel, can I ask you something?"
"You can ask me anything Ross, you know that." She replied.
"Rachel, you telling me that you loved me at the hospital was like music to my ears. Then when you asked me to move back in with me you made me so happy. Having you here, sitting on my lap, allowing me to hold you in my arms and letting me kiss your sweet lips is a gift from heaven …"
He considered his words very carefully …
"… but I have to ask you this. I know that you will be honest with me. I trust you so much."
"What … what is it Ross?" She asked, getting a little concerned.
"Rachel, I need to know that you returned to me for the right reasons. Did you come back because you felt sorry for me? I need to know if you are here because my parents are dying."
He could not see her face, it was too dark. He waited for her answer …
Rachel sat there pondering his question. It didn't take long for her to answer …
"Ross, I love you. I came back to you because you had changed, we both have. I signed the papers and left you because you scared me. You had become the Ross that I never thought you would or could grow to be. Our love has been the most beautiful of dreams and the worst of nightmares. I want the beautiful dreams and to forget the terrible nightmares that we've had. My therapist asked me to write down what I wanted; the kind of life I dreamed of and the people in that dream. I want you Ross …"
His body trembled …
She could hear him sobbing in the dark. She rested her head on his shoulder.
There they sat for a while, in the dark.
"Ross, do you remember when I went to work at Bloomingdales? Remember how jealous and upset you got when I had to work late?"
He didn't answer. She continued …
"Remember how you used to come to my work with flowers and balloons and food and all?"
Again, he didn't answer. She was getting concerned …
"Why haven't you come down to the office lately? I miss you showing up at work and all …"
"Rachel." He said.
"I did all of that because I thought I loved you …"
"You thought you loved me?"
"I kept visiting you and bringing you gifts for the wrong reasons. I did all of that because I was afraid of losing you. I got possessive and stopped trusting you. That's not love … it selfishness."
She remained quiet, her attention hanging on each of his words …
"Rachel, aren't you at all concerned that I'll get jealous and possessive of you again?"
She thought for a moment. She had to be honest with him if their relationship had a chance …
"Yes, I guess, a little …"
"Rachel, I want you to know that I am still jealous and a bit possessive of you. The difference this time is that I realize that this is normal and that I can control it. Any man who really cares for a woman should realize that she and their relationship need to be taken care of and not taken for granted. The moment a woman is taken for granted is the moment that she becomes unappreciated and the instant that she can be lost."
He lowered his gaze to the floor. After a dramatic pause he continued …
"Rachel, I want to tell you …"
She interrupted, concerned.
"… What, Ross, what do you want to tell me?"
"… that I feel that I don't deserve you and that I feel that I never will."
His body again trembled …
For twenty minutes they laid there, silently, still. She could hear the beating of his heart and the rhythm of his breath. She closed her eyes and thought that this is what heaven must be like. She didn't think she could love him anymore, but she was wrong.
The phone rang …
"I'll get it."
"No!" He replied, "Let the machine get it. I don't want this moment to end, ever."
She agreed.
After the customary recorded greeting the caller left their message … screaming.
"ROSS! RACHEL! Answer the phone! It's me, Monica. I'm engaged! Call me back when you get this message! Bye …"
Peace and quiet again returned to the apartment, except for the giggling coming from the pair entwined near the window.
"We should go over and congratulate the happy couple." She said as she repositioned herself on his lap.
"Yeah, we should. But before we go I need to warn you."
"Warn me about what?" She asked, concerned.
"Monica doesn't know yet but I got a call today. It was about mom. She fell and broke her hip. She's in the hospital. After she's released she'll have to be admitted to a nursing home for rehab so that she can get better and go home … to die. If we tell her tonight we'll ruin her happiness. I'll tell Monica tomorrow."
She was perplexed. He seemed to know more than he was telling her …
"Ross, tell me … do you know something that you're not telling me?"
He paused.
He looked into her eyes.
She knew.
They had dated. They had been married. They had both loved and hated each other.
Experience told her … she knew.
"The radiation is not working. The tumor is getting larger. As it gets bigger it is impinging on the healthy part of her brain. She's losing the ability to talk … and now a loss of motor function has caused her to fall … and break her hip. She doesn't have much time left."
She looked into his eyes again and through the moonlight saw nothing but sadness.
"Rachel, I need you to be the best friend you can to my sister. Don't tell her, she's so happy right now. Let her live for the moment in sweet ignorance. She'll know soon enough. I'll have to tell her before we go to the hospital tomorrow."
He had one more request …
"As hard as it is going to be I need to ask you to put on a happy face. Tonight, for the moment, everything is about Monica and her engagement. Nothing else matters …"
"Ross, before we go over to see Monica and Chandler I want to tell you something."
Now he was concerned …
"What? Is there anything wrong?" He asked.
"No, nothing's wrong. I just wanted to tell you that I forgive you."
"Forgive me for what?"
"I forgive you for Chloe …"
He broke down …
He shook. He cried. It had all been too much for him to take. It was as if all of his sins had been forgiven.
He had been washed clean.