I just wanted to clear some things up. Erik and Raoul are OC here, they have kind of switched roles.

And music is not a benefactor of this phic.

Chapter 2

Following this, I heard a loud noise, a scream, and felt the stretch of my own throat the one responsible.

Thomas first appeared, then James. Both stood and gaped. Thomas was in his night clothes, James in his day clothes. Father had obviously just stood… I held my hand out, both of them, and felt Thomas catch me just as I fell and saw the room no more.

When I awoke the room was empty. Well, I thought it was when I actually sat up. The man next to me at my aid was a police officer. I saw that Father was no longer there, and I was surrounded by men. I felt the color rush to my face, then from it.

"Oh no, she's going to faint again," someone said.

"I - I am fine," I protested, "Where is he?"

"Who?"

"My father."

"He was removed, miss. They took him to the police station to be checked. Do you now what happened?"

Having just woken again, my head was about clear again, but it would not stay this way. "Is he dead?"

"Well, we regret to say it… yes, miss, but do not-"

I found myself on the floor. "Oh my God!"

"Do you know anything?"

I was not quite sure what to say and what I did say. I knew that "I woke up" and "was about to go to the bath…" my head pounded with fright… "and as I passed by I saw him …" but was it real?… "on…" …A sob tried to choke me… "on the floor like…" but… how… "like that…" I saw the floor where Father had been.

"Do you have a hint of who-"

Slowly, I met the officer's eyes. "No I do not otherwise I would tell you!"

"Did you do it?"

"Why in God's name would I kill my father!" I shrieked.

"I take that as a no," the policeman mumbled to himself. Upon seeing this, Thomas shook his head.

Someone helped me to my feet and I found myself in my room again, dressing. I heard my own incoherent speech and saw my things around me but at the moment wanted more than anything to not be there at that moment. I struggled into my clothes and fell through the door, sobbing and confused. More and more people were everywhere. There were too many in this house. People brought cameras and my eyes fell further into uselessness as flashes of people became literal flashes.

The police having asked me to stay out of the room of his murder, I wandered into the kitchen and stared around at the counters. They were too clean. I needed to make breakfast; that was it. I opened cabinets, peered inside, and closed them again, one by one, until I ran out of them. Frustrated, having found nothing, I left the kitchen.

I found Raoul and his mother and father seated in the living room, and sat in a chair at the dining table. I could hear little of what they were saying, so I left the dining room and found myself face to face with James, on his way to Raoul and his family. I stood before him, waiting for him to say something to me, my hands holding the sides of my skirt, waiting, but he did not.

I waited.

He stared down at me, waiting as well. He wanted me to move for him. That was not why I was waiting.

He would not do it.

Raoul's mother left at noon, having made our meals for us, and I was left to wander about. Throughout this day, Thomas and James were rarely in the house. They were, to my understanding, answering questions and taking care of Father's shop. Policemen had tried to ask me questions, but I did not even know what I was saying at all. I felt want but did not know what I wanted, because I did know that something was missing.

The next morning I awoke and got up to make breakfast. As I began, Raoul walked in. The wheat cream was cooking, the cherries were washed, the plates out. Could he not simply leave? Why was he always here? Forks from the drawer, put them on top of the plates, walk the plates to the table. Set one for Raoul on the left, one for Thomas next to him, Raoul was watching, one for me across from Thomas, unless Raoul moved as I sat, one for James next to me… then I held the fifth plate in my hand. Raoul cleared his throat.

"Oh, yes," I whispered. It had been one long, restless night of sleeplessness.

Then Thomas passed through and said, "Raoul, are you ready?"

"Yes," Then I notice that Thomas was holding several bags. Raoul left to the hallway and returned with more bags.

"What are in those bags?" I asked.

"All of Thomas's things. He is moving, you know."

I brought Father's plate closer to me. "No, I did not know. Why-"

"Because I haven't got a reason to be around here while Father is not."

"And you?" I asked Raoul.

"I'm leaving, too. And so is James," Raoul said, rather casually. I hugged Father's plate, and tried to breath as I looked with more effort, as though this would make me hear better. As my throat dried, I felt that I could not breathe.

"I - me - I will be alone!"

"Shut up, Christine. You're nineteen years old, should have been married so you've got someone to guide you," Thomas said.

"What should I do? I cannot live alone, can I?"

"Of course you can," James said as he entered the room, "It is not breaking any rules, you know, having a girl live alone."

"Must you all go?"

"Why should we stay? Father's store is taken care of, the house is yours, why should we stay?" Thomas asked.

"I just do not want you to leave. I couldn't possibly bear it. I love you all . . ." But once I said those words, I wanted to swallow them.

They all began laughing.

"Are you meaning to tell me that after all these years we've been teasing and horrifying you-" Raoul began.

"You love us?" James asked in disbelief. They continued laughing, while I blushed in rage. I did not love them, not as friends or brothers. They did not care about me at all, and I did not like them. They were so cruel; how could I have said such a thing? Did I say it so they would stay and take care of me? Although they never had?

Then I realized that I was crying right in front of them. That increased their laughter. I ran from the room.

"You'll be all right!" Raoul shouted. A silent pause followed.

No, I will not, I argued silently. I got up after a few moments and walked casually into the kitchen.

"Shall I pack you anything to eat?"

"Oh, no," James said, "We do not need anything. We're men. We can take care of-" but I threw my hands to me ears. I knew what he was going to say; I could not take care of myself - which I did believe- and then they would all laugh.

I looked at their smirking faces, helplessly. "Go," I whispered. Then I left the room.

The next few mornings I got up and thought of the horrible fact that there was no one that loved or cared for me. I sat in bed each day, rethinking everything and every word. I had no way of getting in touch with any of my brothers or Raoul or Meg. Then again, why should I speak to them? They had turned on me.

My whole life after I had been deserted was too empty. A year passed, I celebrated my twentieth birthday alone, and I remained alone, but not so afraid. I did know that most women my age had small children, but I told myself that this was not at all important if the only person who knew of my existence was myself. I passed my time by either cleaning the house or walking through town and buying the weekly newspaper and reading every word. I never found myself to be boring. Magic and Bright kept me company. Never did I laugh, nor cry.

It was not until another year passed when it occurred to me: There was a tremendously large hole sitting in front of me - and I was not going to let it sit empty. I wanted to, had to, fill this hole.

One day, I was reading the newspaper, of course, and I decided I should leave, too. If my brothers were so happy in their new lives that they did not want to come back, then maybe leaving would help me, as well.

I packed most of my things that were of importance and that fit into a large cardboard box. In went my clothes and a blanket. Then the box was full. It was not too big for me to carry in my hands, fortunately.

My first desire was to obtain a passport and a visa, then to make my traveling plans. I looked in the newspapers and traveling brochures for any departures of ships to England. Within reasonable price, I found one and my decision took less than a second. Before I knew it, I had made arrangements for myself to go to a different world across the ocean.