Fools Rush In
By Teal
Chapter Two
"What are you telling me?" Ezri looked at Julian Bashir incredulously.
"Just what I know. Worf has gone off on a campaign to find this woman or person, posing as Jadzia."
"But, that's insane." Ezri sounded angry, but looked concerned.
"Well, he's gone, sane or not." He paused a moment. "What's really troubling you?"
"Worf. I mean, he has been hurt so much already Julian. Now this. It just seems so desperate. Jadzia wouldn't have wanted this. He should be going on with his life, but he isn't. I mean, " she began to pace up and down, "have you seen his quarters? Did you know he still had one here on the station?"
"No, I wasn't aware of that." He shook his head.
"Well he does. And it is the same as it was the day she died. I mean the very day. I had a cup of tea, that is, Jadzia did, and the cup is still there by the bookcase where she left it. I tried to clean it up once, after I first arrived on the station, and he about took my head off." She stopped and looked seriously at Julian.
"He hasn't packed up any of her things, Julian, nothing. Everything's the same. He took a few necessities with him when he left, but that was it."
"He has to grieve on his own time, Ezri." Julian tried to pat her arm. "Your not just worried about Worf, are you?"
She shook her head, her short brown hair shifting around her young face. "No, Julian. If she's really out there, as unlikely as that is, where does that leave me?" Ezri patted her stomach where the several hundred year old symbiont lived. "All this time I have comforted myself with the knowledge that I was carrying on for them, the previous hosts, and carrying on for Dax. Everything I was before the implant is gone, and that was unexpected but necessary to save the symbiont. But, now, this?"
Julian's eyebrows furrowed. He thought Ezri had made peace with herself long ago. Having the symbiont forced on her during an emergency had been difficult. But, it was her duty to the Trill people to do so. Her personality changed, and her friends and family had become alienated from her because of it. She hadn't ever been trained for the joining, as other hosts were, and the adjustment had been more than difficult for her.
"We don't know if it is true yet. And if it is, we will take it from there. All right?" He knew he didn't sound convincing at all and tried to cover it with a hug. It was at times like this when she seemed so young and lost. She was young, even though the memories she carried from the pervious hosts gave her an edge in most situations, and often unsure of herself. He was glad he could be there for her.
Ezri leaned into him and sighed. She was thankful she had him, but this seemed beyond what his comforting could do for her. She smiled up at him, hiding her worry. She hoped Worf knew what he was doing.