Hello once again. Thanks for the lovely reviews. This may be the funniest of all chapters, so get those diapers ready.

Imagine if you will, the worst possible situation you've ever been in…then times it by a million. And the story continues…

The momentum of the door jolted the ladies into room seven. The sex room; the romper room. As the women regained their balance, their jaws dropped simultaneously.

Luke and Lorelai whipped their heads out of the sheets at such a pace, they nearly collided in the process. Their eyes surveyed the room. They spotted the trespassers. Their jaws dropped simultaneously.

"Lorelai!" Emily shouted in disgust.

"Mom!" Lorelai responded, her expression painted with shock and humiliation.

"Luke!" Sookie shrieked excitedly.

Patty raised her eyebrows suggestively. "Luke," she teased. The top half of the diner man's body was wonderfully exposed. Patty seriously didn't need a visual to complement that dirty mind of hers.

Babette noticed Patty's wandering eyes. "Luke," her voice elevated. So too her libido. She nudged her gal pal and smiled naughtily.

Luke rolled his eyes in utter embarrassment. He'd be going down in history for this.

"Lorelai!" Sookie shrieked again with fervor. She seemed to be the only person in the room genuinely excited about the union of the year. Well, excited in a 'happy for the couple' sense. Not the other kind of excited. Babette and Miss Patty had that taken care of.

"Sookie?" Lorelai queried aloud. Frankly, she'd forgotten that Sookie was even in the room. Or Patty, or Babette. All she could see was Emily.

The crowd fell silent for an unreasonable amount of time. Processing…

Emily was the first to speak, in full sentences to boot. "Oh, oh god. Dear god. Tell me I'm seeing things. I'm not seeing this. This isn't happening." Surprisingly she wasn't taking it well.

Luke could see that Lorelai needed his help in this mess. The fact that she was mildly convulsing may have tipped him off. "Emily, please. We're all adults here. Let's handle this like adults." He wrapped his arm protectively around Lorelai.

"Get your hands off of her! You get your hands off my daughter, you…filthy brute!" Emily was irate.

That condescending tone, inherent with all things Emily Gilmore, seemed to snap Lorelai from her trance. "Mom! How you dare speak to Luke that way!" She looked apologetically at her bedmate.

Emily sighed heavily, "Could you at least get dressed so we can have a civilized conversation?"

"I'd love to," Lorelai stated sarcastically. She was more than eager to comply with the getting dressed part. The problem was, her clothes were slightly out of reach. Too bad the sheets hiding her natural state weren't in fashion yet.

Noticing Lorelai's predicament, Babette daintily kicked a lacy black garment in her direction. "Yours, I'm assuming," she unnecessarily added.

Lorelai nodded unenthusiastically. Luke raised the comforter, shielding Lorelai from the curious onlookers. She roughly slid into the undergarment. Underwear – check. Still needed: bra, tank top and jeans.

Lucky for Luke, his boxers were resting on the floor next to his side of the bed. He managed to grab the item discreetly.

"I knew he was a boxers guy," Babette proudly announced.

Patty appeared forlorn. "I always hoped it was briefs."

So much for discreet.

The angelic Sookie picked up the remaining clothes and distributed them to their rightful owners.

"Party pooper," Babette jabbed.

"Take your time, Luke. No need to rush." Patty was practically petitioning for a floorshow.

Sookie came around to Lorelai's side of the bed, offering her assistance.

"Thanks, Sookie. I owe you one." Lorelai was tremendously relieved. Clothes never felt so good.

"You owe me details," Sookie whispered to her friend.

Lorelai smiled knowingly.

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It had taken the grounds crew exactly thirty minutes to come to the conclusion that Lorelai Gilmore was not an outdoors person, and therefore, could not be found outside. So, as promised, they returned to the meeting place and awaited news from the others.

Kirk was infuriated with the lack of progress on the 'key situation.' "What the hell is the matter with you people? There is a man locked up here!" He was undoubtedly referring to Taylor, locked away in room two. Lest we forget.

Taylor was blissfully unaware of the commotion outside his door. He had long since plugged his ears to drown out the sound of Kirk. His sanity was thanking him for it.

Jackson tried his best to calm, "Take it easy there, Kirk. I'm sure the women have faired better than us."

Kirk shouted, "Then why aren't they here yet? Why are they doing this to us!" 'Us' referring of course to him and Taylor. There was something unnatural about that.

"Nobody is doing anything to anybody. But, as much as it pains me to say it, you make a good point, Kirk. They should be back by now." Gypsy agreed.

Morey immediately jumped to his wife's defense, "My Babette runs a tight ship. Something unforeseen must have happened."

"Let's just wait a couple more minutes. I'm sure they'll turn up." Lulu innocently suggested.

"No! No more waiting!" Kirk stormed away from his fellow citizens and headed for the staircase.

Lulu chased after her lover. "Kirk, slow down! I'm coming with you."

Jackson sighed. Keeping tabs on people was such a burden. "Alright, let's all go upstairs then." Magnanimous was his middle name.

And off they went.

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The sound of them bounding up the stairs was almost deafening.

"Oh god. Don't tell me." Lorelai cringed.

They headed straight for the open door and nearly fell over each other as Kirk, the leader of the pack, stopped without warning.

They silently took in the scene before them. Gypsy smiled, Jackson blushed, Morey chuckled, Lulu sighed and Kirk…Well, Kirk passed out.

Immediately, the others attended to Kirk.

Luke took the opportunity to dress himself. With his shirt in place, He began to rise from the bed. He was wearing only boxers on his better half.

Patty delightedly professed under her breath, "Oh, this is good. This is really good." The rumor mills would be at full steam tomorrow.

Suddenly Kirk's lack of consciousness was old news. Luke became the main attraction.

Even Emily had to stop herself from stealing a peak.

Once on the floor, Luke cleared his throat and shrugged into his jeans. He felt like a piece of meat. And every woman in the room was yearning to devour him six ways from Sunday. That might have been an overstatement.

"I'm never getting undressed again," He sternly informed Lorelai.

She fought off laughter. "Well, that'll make for some interesting improvisation."

The wheels in Miss Patty's head were at full rotation.

Room seven was brimming with activity. It was a nightmare of epic proportions.

TBC…